双语你有权保持沉默.docx

双语你有权保持沉默双语你有权保持沉默当你筋疲力尽时，一个经过准备的借口能防止你淌入更深的浑水，避免你卷入既不需要也无法处理的关系。接下来，我给大家准备了双语你有权保持沉默,欢迎大家参考与借鉴。双语你有权保持沉默Yourcellphoneisringing.Yourinboxisoverflowing1.Yourfriendwantstodiscusshersonsglue-sniffinghabit.MarthaBeckhasnewsforyouyoudonthavetoBeThereforallpeopleallthetime.Justfollowherescaperoutes.手机铃声响个不停，收件箱爆满，朋友想讨论她儿子吸强力胶(以达麻醉、迷幻效果)的习惯。MarthaBeck告诉你你不必事事、时时帮助每个人，遵循她的“逃跑道路吧。ThegreatEnglishwriterE.M.Forstermayhavevaluedconnectionaboveallelse,butforus21st-centuryfolks,disconnectionisasnecessaryasconnectionforcreatingahealthy,happylife.Whenweforceourselvestoconnectagainstourheartsdesires,wecreatefalse,resentfulrelationships;whenwedisconnectfromthepeoplewhodeplete2us,wesetthemfreetofindtheirtribeswhilewefindours.Ivelistedsomeofmyfavoritedisconnectionstrategiesbelow,inthehopethatyoumightfindthemuseful.伟大英国作家爱德华摩根福斯特也许把关系看得比什么都重要，但是对21世纪的我们来讲，想要过健康快乐的生活，脱离关系和拥有关系一样必要。违犯心愿建立的关系是虚假、怨恨的关系;当我们脱离那些损耗我们的人，我们给了他们寻找同类的自由，也给了我们本人寻找同类的自由。下面列出了一些我最喜欢的脱离方法，希望有用。1.Hide.BlamemyhighschoolEnglishteacherIllcallherMrs.Jensenwhomarriedat17,boreherfirstchildat19,andwasafarmwifeandmotheroffourbyage22.Whenshefeltoverwhelmed,shedretreatintoafieldoftallcornnearherhouseandhidethere,listeningtoherchildrensearchforher,untilsheheardacryofgenuinepainorfeltreadytoreconnect,whichevercamefirst.Martha,Mrs.Jensentoldme,everywomanneedsacornfield.Nomatterwhatshappeninginyourlife,findyourselfacornfieldandhidetherewheneveryouneedto.隐藏。想出这点子，都怪那个叫Jensen夫人的高中英语教师。她十七岁嫁人，十九岁生下第一个孩子，二十二岁时，这农妇是四个孩子的妈。当她感到无法应对时，她会躲入她家附近一片高玉米地，听着孩子寻找她的声音，直到听见真正痛苦的哭喊，或本人准备恢复与现实生活的联络。Jensen曾告诉我：“Martha，每个女人都需要一片玉米地。不管发生了什么，找到本人的一片玉米地，需要的时候躲起来。Iveusedhundredsofothercornfieldsovertheyears:cars,forests,hotels,bathrooms.Ivebeenknowntohidefordays,butevenafewminutescancalmmystrung-outnervesoryours.Ifyoudontalreadyhaveacornfield,findonenow.长期以来，我用了很多“玉米地：汽车、森林、宾馆、浴室。我能消失好几天，这一点让我知名了。但是即使几分钟也能安静冷静僻静我紧绷的神经。或者你可以以。假如你还没有一片玉米地，如今就找一个。2.Goprimitive3.Weallknowthattechnological4advanceshavemadeconnectioneasierthaneverbefore.Theyvealsoledsomepeopletothinkthatbreakingawayisaviolation5ofthesocialorder.Atsuchtimes,IbecomedownrightAmish,religiouslycommittedtoavoidingallmoderncommunicationtechnology.Iunplugphones,computers,intercomsandfaxmachines,riskingopprobrium6,becauseIknowthatifIdontlosetouchwithsomeofthepeoplewhoaretryingtoreachme,Illlosetouchwithmyself.Theover-connectedmeisacranky,tiredfussbudget.Silenceisgoldenifitkeepsmefrombroadcastingthatfretfulselfintomynetworkoftreasuredrelationships.回归原始。我们都知道技术进步让联络比以往任何时候都要容易。也让一些人以为逃避是对社交秩序的侵犯。这时候，我干脆变成一名门诺派教徒，忠诚地回避一切当代通讯技术。我冒着被骂的危险，把、电脑、对讲机、机都关了。由于我知道，假如我不躲开那些要联络我的人，我将失去本人。在过渡联络中的那个“我是易怒、疲倦、吹毛求疵。假如沉默能避免烦躁的我损害珍贵的关系，那么它就是金。3.Playfavorites.Yourabilitytoconnectisaresourcemuchmorepreciousthanmoney,somanageitwell.Makealistofeveryonetowhomyoufeelbonded7,thenconsiderwhatkindofreturnyouregettingonyourinvestment.Itmaysoundcold-bloodedtosayyoumustdivest8yourselfoftherelationshipsthatgiveyouconsistentlosses,butunlessyoudothis,youllsoonrunoutofcapital,andyoullhavenoconnectionenergylefttoinvestinanybody.So,please,decidenowtodeliberately9limitthetimeandattentionyouspendonlowyieldrelationships.Aboveall选宠。联络能力是一种比金钱更珍贵的东西，所以要好好管理。列出一份你感觉关系密切的人名单，然后考虑，从你的投资中会得到哪类回报。也许要让本人脱离那些无益你的关系。这么讲听上去冷血，但是假如你不这么做，你将耗尽资本，无法投资给任何人。所以，请如今就有意识地限制对“低产关系花的时间和注意力。首要一点.4.Getridofsquid.Squidismywordforpeoplewhoseemtobemissingtheirbackbones10butpossessmyriad11suckingtentacles12ofemotionalneed.Likemanyinvertebrates13,squidappearlimpandsquishybutoncetheygetagriponyou,theyreincrediblypowerful.Mastersatcatalyzing14guilt15andobligation,theyoperatebysqueezingpityfromeveryonetheymeet.Gettingasquidoutofyourlifeisneverpretty.Tellthemstraightforwardly16thatyouwantthem,yesthem,toleavenow,yes,now.Thiswillbeunpleasant.Therewillbelasting17hurtfeelings.Dontworry.Squidlovehurtfeelings.Theyhoard18them,tradingtheminforpitypointswhentheyfindanothervictimer,friend.Letthemgo,theircoffersbulging19.除掉鱿鱼.在我的词汇力，鱿鱼是那些似乎没骨头，却长了无数“情感需求吸吮盘的人。和很多无脊椎动物一样，鱿鱼看上去柔软黏糊可是一旦它们将你捉住就变得无比有力。身为催成罪恶感和义务感的大师，他们的伎俩是从每个见到的人那里博得同情。要从你的生活中除去一只鱿鱼不容易。直接告诉他们，你希望他们，对，正是他们，如今离开，马上离开。这令人不快，会有持久受伤的感觉。别担忧，鱿鱼喜欢受伤感觉。他们在囤积它们，在找到另一个受害人(呃，朋友)时，用它们来换取怜悯。让他们去，你充实了他们的“囤积。5.Beinsensitive.Thisisaverycompassionate20waytouseyourownpsychologicalinstincts.Insteadofconnectingwitheverypersonsproblems,letyourselffeelwhethersomeonereallyneedsyourattention,orwhetherthebestgiftyoucangivemightbealittleabruptness21.淡然。这是运用心理本能时很慈善的做法。不要去关心每个人的费事，而是让本人感受别人能否是需要你的关注;也许你能给予的最好礼物是一点鲁莽。6.Rehearseescapelines.WhenImoverextended,Iparadoxicallybecomeworseatsettingboundaries.Iendupresortingtorehearsedexitlines.Takethetimetorehearseseveralreliablealternatives.Because,whenyoureexhausted22,apracticedexcusecankeepyoufromwading23deeperintorelationshipsyoudontneedandcanthandle.排练逃跑台词。当我把关系网拉得过大，我设置界线的能力会变糟。最终，我会排练逃避台词。花时间排练几种可靠选择。由于当你筋疲力尽时，一个经过准备的借口能防止你淌入更深的浑水，避免你卷入既不需要也无法处理的关系。7.Beshallow.Evenstayingintouchwithareasonablysmallnumberofhigh-qualitypeoplecanbeoverwhelmingifyoutendtowardemotionalintensity24.Insuchcases,shallownesscanbeadelightful25alternative.E-mailastupidjoke.GatheryourfriendstowatchTVshowsinwhichstrangerspaintoneanothersroomsthecolorofphlegmandthenfeign26mutual27delight.Onceyouknowyoucanswiminthedeependofhumanconnection,itsfuntosplasharoundintheshallows.浅薄。和阳春白雪的人群呆在一起，就算他们人数不多，假如你感性一点，就会觉得精神紧崩、喘不过气。这时候，浅薄能够是一个愉快的选择。发一封傻傻的笑话邮件。邀朋友一起看电视节目(节目中有人把别人房间漆成和痰一样的颜色，然后假装出大家同乐的样子)。既能在关系“深处畅游，也能在“浅水中嬉戏。IhopeyoufindthesedisconnectionstrategiesasusefulasIdo.Bystrikingabalancebetweentheimperative28toonlyconnectandtheneedforindividuation,youreallywillrelaxyourpsyche29andyourrelationships,makingyourlifeasawholemorejoyful30,moreloving.我发现这些脱离策略很有用，希望你也这样以为。命令本人有选择地和别人联络，同时和对个性的需求保持平衡，你就将能放松心情和关系，让生活整体上更快乐、更有爱。