趣味故事.ppt

A writer One night a hotel caught fire，and the people who were staying in it ran out in their night clothes Two men stood outside and looked at the fire. “Before I came out，” said one，“I ran into some of the rooms and found a lot of moneyPeople dont think of money when theyre afraidWhen anyone leaves paper money in a fire，the fire burns itSo I took all the bills that I could findNo one will be poorer because I took them” “You dont know my work，” said the other “What is your work？” “Im a policeman. “Oh！” cried the first man He thought quickly and said，“And do you know my work？”“”“No，”said the policeman “Im a writer Im always telling stories about things that never happened”But the teacher cried The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmothers loving arms. When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door. Was school all right? she asked, Did you get along all right? did you cry? Cry? John asked. No, I didnt cry, but the teacher did! The dollars from America Not long after an old Chinese woman came back to China from her visit to her daughter in the States, she went to a city bank to deposit the US dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the clerk checked each note carefully to see if the money was real. It made the old lady out of patience. At last she could not hold any more, uttering. Trust me, Sir, and trust the money. They are real US dollars. They are directly from America. In a second A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: God, what is a million dollars to you? and God says: A penny, then the man says: God, what is a million years to you? and God says: a second, then the man says: God, can I have a penny? and God says :In a second. What should I do next? Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly: First, you should make sure that he is already dead. Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking: What should I do next? Cat and Mice Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a small box with holes punched in the top. Whats in your box? asked the friend. A cat, answered Mrs Brown. You see Ive been dreaming about mice at night and Im so scared! This cat is to catch them. But the mice are only imaginary, said the friend. So is the cat, whispered Mrs Brown. I think that Im a chickenPsychiatrist: Whats your problem? Patient: I think Im a chicken. Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on? Patient: Ever since I was an egg! The Broom Seller and the Barber A man who sold brooms went into a barbers shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it. Two pence, said the man. No, no, said the barber, I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again. The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave. A penny. said the barber. I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again. I Lost 我输了我输了 It was at a five oclock tea A young man came to the hostess to apologize for his lateness “Its so good of you to come，Mr Jones，and where is your brother？” “You see were very busy in the office and only one of us could come，so we tossed up for it” “How nice！And so original， too！ And you won？” “No，” said the young man absently，“I lost” Henrys journey Henry was an office worker in a big city. He worked very hard and enjoyed traveling in his holidays.He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an advertisement in a newspaper. “Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at West Hill Farm. Good food. Fresh air. Horse riding. Walking. Fishing. Cheap and interesting.”“This sounds a good idea,” he thought. “Ill spend a month at West Hill Farm. I think I can enjoy horse riding, walking and fishing. Theyll make a change from sitting by the seaside and swimming.”He wrote to the farmer. In the letter he said that he would like to spend all of July there. Then on the first of July, he left for West Hill Farm.But four days later, he returned home.“What was wrong with West Hill Farm?” his best friend, Ed, asked him. “Didnt you enjoy country life?”“Country life was very good,” Henry said. “But there was another problem.”“Oh. What?”“Well,” he said, “the first day I was there a sheep died, and we had roast mutton for dinner.”“Whats wrong with that?” Ed asked. “Fresh meat is the best.”“I know, but on the second day a cow died, and we had roast beef for dinner.”“Lucky you!”“You dont understand,” Henry said. “On the third day a pig died and we had roast pork for dinner.”“A different meat every day,” Ed said loudly, “ and you are complaining!”“Let me finish,” Henry said. “On the fourth day the farmer died, and I didnt dare (敢敢)stay for dinner!”