雅思写作小作文TaskOne.doc

雅思作文-小作文Task Oneu 第一章Ø 如何写开头段？开头段写法：改写原题，大约在1-2句话。开头段转述原题，在进行原题改写时候，方法大约分为三种。1. 增加单词；2. 删除单词；3. 替换单词；注1：在改写原题时候，需要对原题进行3-4处改写即可。如果改动太大，就会暴露出语法错误可能，所以尽量多地保证原题原汁原味，不要对其内容和概念改动太大。注2：在原题里below一词在改写时候必须删掉，不能出现在改写后开头段当中。真题练习：剑桥6-Test One-Task OneThe graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant. 原题：The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.分析：原题当中有两个图，一个是曲线图另一个是表格图，所以在进行描述时候，可以把原题一句话(含有line graph and table)分成两句来描述，一句话是描述曲线图，另外一句话是描述表格图。Part One原题：The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.原题中描述曲线图可以进行修改部分：1. give可替换成show/describe/demonstrate/summarise/outline/indicate/illustrate2. information可替换成data3. water use worldwide前可以增加名词，以此表示“世界范围内用水量”。即“the amount of water use worldwide”；还可以增加名词或动词来表达世界范围内用水量变化概念，即“the changes in the amount of water use worldwide; the amount of water use worldwide changed”；在整个曲线图当中，还应添加时间概念，因为图上明确地体现了时间是从1990年到2000年这10年时间段，我们要进行描述也是在这10年当中世界范围内用水量变化。即“between 1900 and 2000”改写后中文：1. 曲线图显示了1900到2000年间关于世界范围内用水数据。翻译：The line graph shows data about water use worldwide between 1900 and 2000.2. 曲线图表明了1900到2000年间世界范围内用水量是如何变化翻译：The line graph indicates how the amount of water use worldwide changed between 1900 and 2000. 3. 曲线图展示了1900到2000年间世界范围内用水量变化。翻译：The line graph demonstrates the changes in the amount of water use worldwide between 1900 and 2000. Part Two原题：The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.原题中描述表格图可以进行修改部分：1. give可替换成show/describe/demonstrate/summarise/outline/indicate/illustrate2. 表格图当中体现了两个国家农业用水量消耗上不同，所以可以在名词water cousumption前面增加单词组合the differences in agricultural来表示“农业用水量消耗上不同”。即“the differences in agricultural water consumption”改写后中文：1. 表格描述了关于这两个不同国家巴西和民主刚果共和国水消耗信息。翻译：The table describes information about water consumption in two different conuntriesBrazil and Congo.2. 表格描述了这两个不同国家巴西和民主刚果共和国在农业用水量消耗上差异。翻译：The table describes the differences in agricultural water consumption in two different conuntriesBrazil and Congo.合句：The line graph shows data about water use worldwide between 1900 and 2000 while the table describes information about water consumption in two different conuntriesBrazil and Congo.考官范文：The graph shows how the amount of water used worldwide changed between 1900 and 2000. (曲线图显示了1900到2000年间世界范围内水使用情况。)Throughout the century, The largest quantity of the global water used for agricultural purpose and this increased dramatically from about 500 km³ to around 3000 km³ in the year 2000.Water used in the industrial and domestic sectors also increased, but consumption was minimal until mid-century. From 1950 onwards, industrial use grew steadily to just over 1000 km³, while domestic use rose more slowly to only 300 km³, both far below the levels of consumption by agriculture.The table illustrates the differences in agricultural consumption in some areas of the world by contrasting the amount of irrigated land in Brazil(26500 km²)with that in the D.R.C(10 km²). (表格通过对巴西灌溉地面积(25600平方公里)和民主刚果共和国灌溉面积(100平方公里)进行对比，描述了世界上一些地区农业消费差异。)This means that a huge amount of water is used in agriculture in Brazil, and this is reflected in the figures for water consumption per person: 359 m³ compared with only 8 m³ in the Congo. With a population of 176 million, the figures for Brazil indicate how high agricultural water consumption can be in some countries.真题练习：剑桥6-Test Two-Task OneThe table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.原题：The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.原题中描述表格图可以进行修改部分：1. give可替换成show/describe/demonstrate/summarise/outline/indicate/illustrate2. changes in modes of travel可参照表格当中标题 “Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel”加工合成改写为 the average number of miles travlled per person per year, by different kinds of modes of travel the changes in the average numbe of miles travelled per person per year by different kinds of modes of travel the changes in average distance in miles when per person travel per year by different kinds of modes of trvel.合句1：The table indicates the averge number of miles travlled per person per year, by different kinds of modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.合句2：The table shows the changes in the average numbe of miles travelled per person per year by different kinds of modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000.3. changes in modes of travel可参照表格当中标题 “Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel”加工合成改写为 how various modes of travel changed(名词：changes 动词：change) and the average number of miles travlled per person per year合句：The table demonstrates how various modes of travel and the average number of miles travlled per person per year changed in England between 1985 and 2000.范文1：The table indicates the number of miles by the average English person in 1985 and 2000, using various means of transport.The number of miles walked, cycled and travelled by local bus all decreased. Of these, the number of miles travelled by local bus decreased the most, from 429 miles in 1985 to 274 miles in 2000.The number of miles travelled by car, long distance bus, train and taxi all increased. The number of miles driven by car was 3,199 in 1985 and rose by 50% to 4,806 in 2000. The number of miles travelled by long distance bus more than doubled from 54 miles(1985) to 124 miles (2000). The number of miles driven by taxi trebled from 13 miles(1985) to 42 miles (2000). The use of other, unspecified, forms of transport also increased.Overall, the number of miles travelled by the average English person rose from 4,740miles in 1985 to 6,475 miles in 2000, with the increase of cars accounting for almost all of that increase. (173)范文2：The table demonstrates how different modes of travel changed in England in 15 years spanning from 1985 to 2000. In general, the modes are classified into two kinds in terms of average miles traveled per person per years: one enjoyed rising popularity while other decreasing.The travel modes which modes which gained popularity in the period included cars, long distance buses, train, taxis and other. Cars remained top among the modes in the 15 years, with its average miles increasing considerably from 3,199 in 1985 to 4,806 in 2000. Long distance buses and taxis seemed to be warmly welcomed by travelers so average miles traveled in the two modes almost tripled.Travels by walking, bicycles and local buses lost travelers favor in the one and half decade. Average traveling distance by local buses suffered the biggest decrease, dropping from 429 to 274, while the number of miles by walking and bike fell mildly from 255 to 237 and from 51 to 41 respectively. Despite the decreases, however, the total miles traveled grew from 4,740 to 6,475.In brief, the total traveling distance in the country grew in the years when cars, long distance buses, trains, taxis and other modes of travel were more popular and walking, bicycling and local transportation less popular. (212)考生文章(6)：In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4,806 people. Theres a noticable decrease in public transportation locally where it dropped from 429 people in 1985 to 274 people in 2000. However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred by people as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000 which probably made people to take the take the train more often. Theres a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. The biggest leap in the chart is the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people, where it was only 13 in 1985.Apart from all this modes of travel, there are some more different types of travel as well of course. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased from 450 to 585 in 2000.参考译文：2000年最受欢迎交通方式是坐小汽车，有4806人。使用当地公共交通人数有明显下降，从1895年429人减少到2000年274人。但乘坐长途公共汽车旅行更受人们欢迎，在过去15年里人数增长了一倍多。2000年选择步行或骑自行车人数稍有下降，使得人们更多地乘坐火车：从1985年289人增加到2000年366人。这使得火车成为第二受欢迎交通工具。表中增长最大是乘坐出租车人数，从1985年13人增长到200042人，几乎是以前三倍。除了这些交通方式以外，当然还有别出行方式。选择别交通方式出行人数从450人迅速增加到2000年585人。分析：考官评语：本文没有用导语引出表格中信息，也没有准确描述。数据被错误地理解为人数而不是每年人均旅行里程数。文中没有提到总旅行里程数增加，因此没有涵盖所有核心信息。文章试图总结数据趋势，但由于根本上混淆，使读者无法从整体上清楚地理解信息。不过，由于指代词和其他关联词良好使用，信息比较有条理，表述相当流畅，但偶尔也有错误，观点之间衔接有时也令人迷惑。文章亮点在于词汇使用，比较灵活、得当；句子结构多样，但仍有些基本错误，例如时态、主谓一致和被动语态不正确使用。点评：文章应该加上introduction(导语)：The chart shows the average number of miles travelled per person per year in England from 1985 to 2000. 导语应该包含图表研究对象以及时间地点。相关信息通常来自题目和图表说明性文字，但要注意不能照抄，而要合理改写。信息交代：在描述变化趋势时应该先指出总量上变化，即每人每年出行总里程数增加：On average, the miles travelled per person per year increased from 4740 miles in 1 985 to 6475 miles in 2000. In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car with 4806 people. 信息解读有误，4806是平均每人每年坐小汽车旅行英里数，而不是出行人数。4806 people应改为4806 miles。指代关系词良好运用：第三句话Its figures中its指代上一句话中the long distance bus ride。It jumped from 289 in 1985 to 366 in 2000. 这一句中it指代上句中the number of people who travelled by train。This makes the train second popular mode of transportation. This指代上一句话。语言问题：时态：In 2000 the most preferred mode of travel is by car. 描述是2000年，应该用一般过去时，is改为was。主谓一致：However the long distance bus rides is much more preferred.本句主语应为单数the long distance bus ride。名词单复数：Theres a significant increase in the numbers of people who travelled by train. 本句中numbers应为number。被动语态：1. as its figures are more than doubled in the last 15 years.2. People who chose to walk or cycle are decreased slightly in 2000.3. the increase of taxi users who are tripled in 2000 with 42 people.4. Number of people choosing different modes of travel is rapidly increased.以上四句话中动词都不需要用被动语态。double; decrease; triple; increase都可以用作不及物动词，用主动语态。6 / 6