2022年搞笑英语话剧剧本-人--心碎 .pdf
Heart broken Billing：XiMenchuixue YeGucheng HuaManlou King PanJinlian Narratage/soldier N：A quiet village is covered with white snow.Birds are dancing in the cold.A man is standing in the street.The wind is coming in silence.Another mysterious man approaches.Y 与 X 相遇Y:Oh,I am sorry to knock into you!X:Ha ha,Never mind,boy.What s your name?Y:Ha ha,I won t change my name,no matter what happens.I m the most famous-YeGucheng.Who are you?X:I am XiMenchuixue.Y:Ah?XiMenchuixue?X:Yes,what s wrong?Y:I heard that you are the best one in Chinese Kongfu.X:Great,you know me!Y:But your wife is my first lover.X:What?Y 抱腿:Oh,Please,please Dont kill me!Let me go!X:No,I must kill you!Y:I dont want to be killed.There is an eighty-year-old mother and a three-year-old son to be looked after by me!X:Noway!Because we are enemies now!You know?Y 突然站起冷冷的说：Dont force me!X:拔刀砍向 Y(Y 拿出一袋牛奶迎上去)X 抢过牛奶:Milk,very good!I like drinking it.How do you know that?Y:Just drink it!X 喝完牛奶:Thanks,ha ha.Y:Do you still want to kill me?X:Sure!Milk is milk.Y(恼怒+冷酷):Very nice!I hope you won t forget what you said!?X:I m sure I won t!Y:I must give you a lesson!If I dont beat you this time,you ll never behave properly!3-2-1-0!X 捂着肚子，蹲下：Oach,Oach!名师资料总结-精品资料欢迎下载-名师精心整理-第 1 页，共 4 页 -Y 大笑：HaHa X 可怜状:Help!Help!Where is the washroom?Y:What?X:Toliet?Y:What?X:The“WC”?Y:Oh,I see.go along this street to the end and turn left when you see a high building!You can t miss it.X:Thanks,bye bye.X 与 J相遇X 跑过来 J举牌：Ladies room J:You saw me!?You animal,monster,bullshit!(一边拉拉锁一边说)I kill you!X:Oh,No!I am sorry honey,but you are so beautiful!What s your name?J:My first name is Jinlian,and my family name is Pan.X:Oh,PanJinlian!?So nice name.I love you.You have the most beautiful face,nose and little lips.Would you like to marry me?J:Yes,I d like to.But do you get married?X:Of course,ah not!What about you?J:Umneither am I.But do you have a ring to give me？X:I will get one for you.J:I love you.I will be right here waiting for you.N:Then XiMenchuixue go to find a ring.Let us see what happens to YeGucheng at the same time.Y:You see?It is really terrible for a person not being good at English.Y 掏出纸屑吹:This is XiMenchuixue now!H:Stop!Protecting the environment is a basic obligation!Y:Who are you?H:HuaManlou!Have you seen XiMenchuixue?Y:Yes,he was beaten by me and is in“WC”now,haH 惊讶:So,now,you are the best in the world!Y:Clever girl.H:You are the one my king looking for!Do you want to join us?Y:Yes,my pleasure.H:Ok,follow me.Lets go to see my king!Y:Ok,Lets go!My first lover in dreams.H:What?Y:Nothing.H:My dear king!Let me introduce YeGucheng to you!（指 Y）This is YeGucheng.K:Sit down please,YeGucheng.名师资料总结-精品资料欢迎下载-名师精心整理-第 2 页，共 4 页 -H 走到 Y 前，婚礼进行曲起，H:YeGucheng!Do you want to follow my king no matter what happens such as cold headache,rainstorm or Aids?Y:Yes,I do.K:Gucheng,come closely.给叶孤城戴上戒指（音乐停）X 唱着上:Only you(看到戒指)this ring will be mine!K:But who are you?Why should it belong to you?Y 急切:King!Dear king!I must go now,my mother asks me to go back home to have dinner.X:I am XiMenchuixue.YeGucheng,come here!Give me the ring!Y:Here you are.(灰溜溜的过去)X 转身准备离开K:Arrest him!X:I will kill anyone who is in my way,no matter he is a human being or a Buddha.S:I am the most handsome soldier in the world.My favorite is looking myself in the mirror.I am here.I am here!I am here!You can t go,boy!?X 拔刀捅个不停，S动作配合但不死X 擦汗：I am too tired to kill you,but I will cut down your head.S:Oh,God!Where is my head?Without a head,I will be very,very ugly.World without being handsome,I would rather die.Ah K:Ah,XiMenchuixue is really rude.You see?The handsome soldier s brain was broken into pieces.Tell Youlai building not to cook tofu brain as breakfast any more.N:Then,XiMenchuixue go to ladies room to meet his lover with the ring.But actually HuaManlou is XiMenchuixue s wife.So what will happen next?H:My dear husband,where are you going?X:Something important!Don t follow me.H:But the ring should be mine.(X找到了金莲,but H 也跟来了.)H:Oh,shit(捂眼).What are you doing?You little bitch,I will kill you.Nine Yin bones claw?J:HaHaHa!My son is Li Gang,I fear nothing(自信).Who the hell are you?H:I m his wife!?!J:You have a wife?You cheated me!X:But you have a son,named Li Gang.My heart is broken(扭头退场，留下背影)J:My heart is also broken(冲背影，也下场)H:（大喊）My heart is broken into pieces!(冲背影)Fuck your sisters.N：At the same time,Ye Gucheng and the king are playing another legend story.Y:转身准备离开K:Gucheng!?Are you going to abandon me?名师资料总结-精品资料欢迎下载-名师精心整理-第 3 页，共 4 页 -Y:I will!K:Why?Y:Because I m not a gay.Once,there was a sincere love available for me,but I didn t cherish.Now I regret to die!If the god would give me another chance,I would have said to that girl“I love you”.If there must be a limit for it,I hope it was one night.But now,my heart is broken(退场)K:Oh,no.My heart is broken too.(退场)N：Every one is a fraud.Love is not a thing that you can buy whenever you want.At last,These people with broken heart go back to Tang dynasty,and they all become monks.Then(放西游记的歌，白龙马最后出场，背后贴字“White Dragon Horse”End.名师资料总结-精品资料欢迎下载-名师精心整理-第 4 页，共 4 页 -
