2021届上海市青浦区高三英语二模概要写作指导学案.docx
2021青浦二模Taking It to Extremes挑战极限Regular exercise benefits people extensively, from weight control to lengthened life. Exercise sets up a chain reaction that is generally positive for the human body, preventing and controlling some health problems. However, endurance sports, requiring the sustained efforts for long periods of time, reveal a darker side of exercise.从控制体重到延长寿命，定期锻炼使人们受益匪浅。 运动会建立一个连锁反应，通常对人体有益，可以预防和控制一些健康问题。 然而，耐力运动需要长时间的持续努力，揭示了运动的阴暗面。 A common endurance sport is marathon. Running 26.2 miles is an achievement, but its ultimately harmful. In one study, about 75% of marathon runners suffered from kidney injury after finishing the race. Similarly, cross-country skiing offers excellent cardiovascular benefits when performing at a leisurely pace. Yet cross-country skiing alters the structure of the heart, making it more easily damaged to an arrhythmia, a condition where the heart beats irregularly. When it came to the participants hearts, competitive success in cross-country skiing doesnt always translate into better health. The most extreme endurance races, such as Ironman Triathlons, provide more discouraging data.一项常见的耐力运动是马拉松。 跑 26.2 英里是一项成就，但最终是有害的。 在一项研究中，大约 75% 的马拉松运动员在完成比赛后遭受了肾损伤。 同样，越野滑雪在以悠闲的速度进行时提供了极好的心血管益处。 然而，越野滑雪会改变心脏的结构，使其更容易因心律不齐而受损，这是一种心脏不规则跳动的情况。 当谈到参与者的内心时，越野滑雪的竞争成功并不总是转化为更好的健康。 最极端的耐力赛，例如铁人三项，提供了更多令人沮丧的数据。 Endurance athletes face another serious problem: they may drink much water while competing. Proper hydration while exercising is key to health and performance. But, too much of a good thing can be dangerous. Reportedly, over 10% of the participants in the triathlon suffered from hyponatremia, occurring when the level of sodium (钠) in the blood becomes dangerously low, often when the sodium concentration is too low with water. Evidently, extreme endurance sports can transform the basic necessity of drinking water into a potential source of harm.耐力运动员面临另一个严重问题：他们在比赛时可能会喝很多水。 运动时适当补充水分是健康和表现的关键。 但是，太多的好东西可能是危险的。 据报道，超过 10% 的铁人三项参与者患有低钠血症，发生在血液中钠水平变得危险的低水平时，通常是在水中钠浓度过低时。 显然，极限耐力运动可以将饮用水的基本需求转化为潜在的伤害来源。 Does running help a person live longer? A study published in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings concluded that running distances of 0.1 to 19.9 miles a week, at six to seven miles per hour, was linked to a lower risk of death. However, running distances and speeds beyond this was not tied to higher rates of survival. This finding demonstrates no exercise is better for ones health than excessive exercise in endurance sports.跑步能延长人的寿命吗？ 发表在 Mayo Clinic Proceedings 上的一项研究得出结论，每周以每小时 6 到 7 英里的速度跑步 0.1 到 19.9 英里与较低的死亡风险有关。 然而，超出此范围的跑步距离和速度与更高的存活率无关。 这一发现表明，没有什么运动比耐力运动中的过度运动更有益于一个人的健康。 Certainly, none of this means that exercise in moderation is harmful, but it shows that the benefits of exercise level off, and even reverse, when a person exercises too much. Endurance sports may continue to be a popular pursuit for those seeking a challenge, but for those eager for better health, a little can work.当然，这并不意味着适度运动是有害的，但它表明，当一个人运动过多时，运动的好处会趋于平稳，甚至会逆转。 对于那些寻求挑战的人来说，耐力运动可能仍然是一项受欢迎的追求，但对于那些渴望更好的健康的人来说，一点点就可以了。 【参考答案】Endurance sports do harm to people for the high demand. First, extreme sports like marathon and cross-country skiing tend to cause damage to human organs. Second, drinking too much water while working out may result in health risk. Finally, excessive exercise may pose threat to life. Thus, Moderate exercise is fundamental to good health. (54 words)耐力运动对人们的高需求有害。 首先，马拉松、越野滑雪等极限运动容易对人体器官造成损伤。 其次，锻炼时喝太多水可能会导致健康风险。 最后，过度运动可能对生命构成威胁。 因此，适度运动是身体健康的基础。 (54 字) 概要写作的写作步骤第一步：阅读A. 认真阅读给定的原文材料。如果一遍不能理解，就多读两遍。阅读次数越多，你对原文的理解就越深刻。B.该决定原文中哪些部分重要，哪些部分次重要了。对重要部分的主要观点进行概括。C. 简要地记下主要观点主题、标题、细节等你认为对概括摘要重要的东西。第二步：动手写作A. 摘要应尽量用自己的话完成。不要直接引用原文的句子。B. 应该遵循原文的逻辑顺序。这样你就不必重新组织观点、事实。C. 摘要必须全面、清晰地表明原文所载的信息，以便你的读者不需翻阅原文就可以完全掌握材料的原意。D. 写摘要时可以采用下列几种小技巧：1) 删除细节。只保留主要观点。2) 选择一至两个例子。原文中可能包括5个或更多的例子，你只需从中筛选一至二个例子。3) 把长段的描述变成短小、简单的句子。如果材料中描述某人或某事用了十个句子，那么你只要把它们变成一两句即可。4) 避免重复。在原文中，为了强调某个主题，可能会重复论证说明。但是这在摘要中是不能使用的。应该删除那些突出强调的重述句。5) 压缩长的句子。如下列两例：“His courage in battle might without exaggeration be called lion-like.”可以概括为：”He was very brave in battle.”“He was hard up for money and was being pressed by his creditor.”可以概括为：”He was in financial difficulties.”6) 还可以使用词组代替整句或者从句。请看下面的例子："Beautiful mountains like Mount Tai, Lushan Mountain, and Mount Huang, were visited by only a few people in the past. Today, better wages, holidays with pay, new hotels on these mountains, and better train and bus services, have brought them within reach of many who never thought of visiting them ten years ago.”可以概括为："Beautiful mountains like Mount Tai, once visited by only a few people, are today accessible to many, thanks to better wages, paid holidays, new hotels and better transportation services.”7) 使用概括性的名词代替具体的词，比如：“She brought home several Chinese and English novels, a few copies of Time and Newsweek and some textbooks. She intended to read all of them during the winter vocation.”可以概括为：”She brought home a lot of books to read during the vocation.”8）使用最短的连接词。比如，可以使用but, then, thus, yet, though，不能使用at the same time, in the first place, because of these, on the other hand等较长的连接词。通常，使用分号就能够达成使用连接词的效果。9) 文章中的第一人称说的话通常在摘要中转换成第三人称，从而把大段的对白简化，比如：Kate looked at Paul disapprovingly: You use much too much salt on your food, Paul its not good for you!” Paul put down his knife and frowned: “Why on earth not! If you didnt have salt on your food it would taste awful like eating cardboard or sand just imagine bread without salt in it, or potatoes or pasta cooked without salt!” Kate was patient. She didnt want to quarrel with Paul. She wanted to persuade him. She said firmly: "But too much salt is bad for you. It causes high blood pressure and later on, heart-attacks. It also disguises the taste of food, the real tastes which are much more subtle than salt, and which we have lost the sensitivity to appreciate any more.”可以用第三人称概括为：Kate suggested Paul that he should eat less salt. She thought that eating too much salt would do hard to Pauls health and that it could reduce the real tastes of food. But Paul disagreed. He said that food without salt would be tasteless.第三步：修改成文首先，与原文比较看是否把所有重要的观点都概括了，摘要中的观点是否与原文中的完全一致。其次，如果摘要中出现了不必要的词汇、短语或长句子，删除它们。第三，检查拼写、语法和标点符号的错误。最后，保持语言简单明了。另外，可以通过以下五个方面来核对(checklist)写好的摘要。1. Does the summary include the main points?2. Are words or sentences copied or your own words?3. Are there any ideas outside the passage?4. Are transitional words used to make writing coherent?5. Are all the sentences, spelling, and punctuation marks correct?
