四级写作句式及高分亮点写作.doc

学英语 找长喜 Lecture 5第五讲6种灵活句式变换使用的句式不同，表达的效果就不同。一篇文章中如果反复使用同一句式，就会显得单调乏味，毫无生气，因此写作时要注意句式的变化，避免单一重复。一、 长句和短句的变换长句含有许多修饰语，适合表达复杂的思想，解释观点或理论，描写细致的事物；短句比较简洁明快，适合陈述重要的事实或想法。在实际写作中，一味地采用长句或短句都是不可取的，要注意长短句交错使用，以简单句为基础，配以适当的并列句和复合句。简单句可长可短，一般要加些附属成分，如分词短语、不定式短语、介词短语和副词短语等。1短句变长句平时写作时，考生要注意前后句子之间是否存在联系，善于发现各简单句之间的关联，用恰当的连接词将其连接起来，组成准确地道的长句，增加文章的气势。【例1】【原文】The grading system at our college should be abolished. The students dont like getting grades. The instructors dont enjoy giving grades.【优化】The grading system at our college should be abolished, because neither the students nor the instructors like it.【分析】原文由三个简单句组成，很明显，后两个句子与第一个句子之间存在因果关系，因此，可以将后两句合成一个原因状语从句，由neithernor连接并列主语。2长句变短句写作中句子的长短应根据表达的需要，有话则长，无话则短。短句不仅指句子长度较短，也指句子内部结构精炼。简洁是一个重要的原则，用词累赘是写作的大忌。【例2】【原文】He didnt do the work well, because he didnt have enough experience.【优化】He didnt do the work well for lack of experience.【分析】优化后的句子用介词短语代替了原句中的原因状语从句，并删除了该从句中一些多余的修饰语，从而使句子的表达更加言简意赅。二、 主动和被动的变换何时使用被动语态，何时使用主动语态主要是由陈述对象决定的。英语写作中特别强调陈述对象的一致性，因此考生在选择使用何种语态时一定要慎重。1主动变被动1）不需要体现动作的执行者【例3】【原文】We should advise people to protect their own interests and not to be led astray by false advertisements.【优化】People should be advised to protect their own interests and not to be led astray by false advertisements.【分析】如果没有特定的语境表明本句需要体现动作的执行者“We”，那么本句应改为被动语态，以使表达更加贴切。2）需要强调动作的承受者【例4】【原文】The employees elected Mr. Li chairman of the committee last week.【优化】Mr. Li was elected chairman of the committee by the employees last week.【分析】如果有特定语境表明本句需要强调Mr. Li被选为主席，那么应该使用被动语态，以达到突出强调的作用。3）保持陈述对象的一致，以求行文通顺【例5】【原文】Computers may help scientists in analyzing data and doing complex calculation, while engineers make use of some computers in designing a plane, or a spaceship.【优化】Computers may help scientists in analyzing data and doing complex calculation, while some computers are made use of by engineers in designing a plane, or a spaceship.【分析】原文中主句的主语是computers，从句的主语则是engineers，而computers变成了宾语。为了避免陈述对象混乱，保证行文的通顺，应该将从句改为被动句。2被动变主动1）需要体现动作的执行者【例6】【原文】Now how to improve their English is paid more attention to by college students.【优化】Now college students pay more attention to how to improve their English.【分析】本句是想表达“大学生越来越关注该如何提高英语水平”的含义，因此句子是要体现“college students”的行为，因此应该采用主动语态。2）保持陈述对象的一致，以求行文通顺【例7】【原文】If we dont know how the wastes should be used, we can sell them to the recycling station.【优化】If we dont know how to use the wastes, we can sell them to the recycling station.【分析】原文中how引导的宾语从句中的被动语态导致if从句前后陈述对象混乱，影响了句意的明晰和语言的流畅。三、 非谓语动词和从句的变换非谓语动词包括：动词不定式、动名词、现在分词和过去分词。使用非谓语动词可以在有限的篇幅内表达更多的信息，并能够使句子结构紧凑、逻辑严谨。【例8】【原文】It must be realized that people should be cautious when they decide which books theyshould choose to read since if they read bad books, it will be timewasting and harmful.【优化】It must be realized that people should be cautious when deciding which books to read since reading bad books is timewasting and harmful.【分析】原句中的时间状语从句改为现在分词作状语，修饰books的定语从句改为不定式短语，if条件句改为动名词短语作主语，句子结构变得更加紧凑，简洁明了。四、 松散句和掉尾句的变换松散句指的是“把主要信息放在前面，辅助信息放在后面”的句式，常用来自然有序地陈述观点或罗列事实；掉尾句指的是“把辅助信息放在前面，主要信息放在后面”的句式，常起到强调或修饰作用。文章中绝大多数句子都是松散句，但正因为此，偶尔使用掉尾句可以起到突出强调的效果，但注意不要频繁使用，以免使文章的意思表达显得不够直接明了。【例9】【原文】That living together offers an excellent chance of cooperation is one incomparable advantage. Planning a party singlehandedly may be a boring and difficult job. Our roommates help makes it enjoyable and easy. We may do anything perfectly, combining every members wit and talent together.【优化】One incomparable advantage is that living together offers an excellent chance of cooperation. Planning a party singlehandedly may be a boring and difficult job. Our roommates help makes it enjoyable and easy. Combining every members wit and talent together, we may do anything perfectly.【分析】本段中第一句使用了掉尾句，将从句放到了主句的前面，但此句是要说明与别人合住的One incomparable advantage是什么，而且作为段首句，应该清楚直接，因此应该将该句改为松散句，将句子的主要部分放到最前面。而本段中最后一句使用了松散句，将分词短语放到了句子主干结构之后，这样表达未能突出表现作者的意图，因此应将该句改为掉尾句，把分词短语提到句首。五、 强调句的变换强调句能够达到突出重点的目的，其基本结构是：It is/was+被强调部分+that/who+句子其他成分。另外，对谓语动词进行强调时，通常在其前添加助动词do/does/did。【例10】【原文】Parents and other family members money mainly supports us. 【优化】It is parents and other family members money that mainly supports us.【分析】改成强调句以后，句子的主语得到了突出，句意的表达更加有力。六、 倒装句的变换句子成分在句子中都有一定的位置，但有时可以把某些句子成分前后倒置，以达到突出强调的目的或起到某种修饰作用。英语中倒装分为全部倒装和部分倒装。部分倒装在写作中比较常用，经常由否定词提前或“only状语”提前引起。【例11】【原文】I think that by sticking to one job one can accumulate a lot of experience in it, which in turn will further improve his work.【优化】I think that only by sticking to one job can one accumulate a lot of experience in it, which in turn will further improve his work.【分析】状语前加上only并位于句首引起了句子的部分倒装，突出了这种措施的必要性，使句意的表达更加有力。即讲即练 Exercise 1 Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a short essay on the topic On Job Hopping. You should write at least 120 words and base your composition on the outline given below:1）有些人喜欢始终从事一种工作2）有的人却认为始终从事一种工作太过单调，因此，他们会经常换工作3）“我”的看法On Job HoppingDifferent people have different views on jobhopping. Some people would like to always engage in one work. However, other people dont like to do so. As for me, the first opinion is the one I would support.（提出观点段）Maybe some people think doing the same job all their life is tedious. Because there will be no challenges any more. Meanwhile, various work experience can not be learned if they always do the same job. So they always change from one job to another. However, still other people believe that they can acquire a greater achievement by sticking to one job, and I think 要求：请按照下面的提示对左栏的作文进行优化改写。1.用when it comes to sth.句型改写句。2.用连词while将句和句合为一句，并用更加具体的短语替换句中的dont like to do so。3.将句改写为简单句。4.将句、句合为一句，将句作为新句子的主语，通过使役动词make将句作为新句子的宾语，表达主语所带来的结果。5.优化句的语态，使主从句的主语一致。 so, which is for the following reasons.（对比论证段） Firstly, people can accumulate a lot of specialized skills and thereby people can take advantage of these skills to get themselves promoted in their company. Secondly, people engaging in one job for a long time can cut the cost of the company in terms of cultivation of qualified talents. From the foregoing, we can conclude that if a person wants to be an expert in a field, he should not hop from one job to another too often.（总结观点段）6.删除多余的句。7.将句拆成两个简单句，不再包含分句和从句。8.将句中and后的并列分句改为非限制性定语从句，修饰skills，并用更简洁的语言改写该定语从句。9.将句由掉尾句改为松散句。On Job HoppingExercise 2 Directions: For this part, you are allowed 30 minutes to write a composition on the topic Cell Phones Negative Effects on Study. You should write at least 120 words and base your composition on the outline (given in Chinese) below:1）手机在大学生中的普及率较高2）但手机对学习却有着极大的负面影响3）请发表你的看法Cell Phones Negative Effects on StudyIn the modern society, the cellphone has become an important means of communication and its role is more and more significant as time passes. The cell phones popularity is increasing and they are no longer luxuries for college students. You will find nearly everyone has a cell phone with themselves, in whichever college.（描述现象段）However, even with its convenience, cell phone still imposes great negative effects on college students study. The negative effects can be embodied in the following aspects. First, cell phones disturb the classes. In classes, the cell phone ring tone plays again and again, so the lecturers have to stop their lectures. This is not an uncommon phenomenon. Second, cell phones distract students concentration on study, for example, many students listen to music or watch movies through their cell phones in classes where they should have learned knowledge. Third, students financial burden is increased by cell phones, because they still depend on their family for living.（说明影响段）From my point of view, college students should remember all the time that their main duty is study. Therefore, anything, including cell phones of course that may hinder their study should not take too much of their attention. All in all, college students should take good use of cell phones.（阐述观点段）要求：请按照下面的提示对左栏的作文进行优化改写。1. 将句中and前一分句改写为with独立主格，在句中充当伴随状语。2. 将句中的松散句改为掉尾句，用更加动态的词语改写has。3. 将句、句合为一句，将句作为非限制性定语从句，修饰negative effects。4. 将句、句合为一句，将句作为新句子的主句，句作为新句子的主语从句，句中的主句作为新句子的原因状语。5. 将句拆分为两个句子。6. 将句由被动语态改为主动语态，将句中的原因状语从句改为修饰students的定语从句。7. 将句的主语改为“人”作主语。Cell Phones Negative Effects on Study【参考范文】Exercise 1 On Job HoppingDifferent people have different views on jobhopping. Some people would like to always engage in one work. However, other people dont like to do so. As for me, the first opinion is the one I would support.（提出观点段）Maybe some people think doing the same job all their life is tedious. Because there will be no challenges any more. Meanwhile, various work experience can not be learned if they always do the same job. So they always change from one job to another. However, still other people believe that they can acquire a greater achievement by sticking to one job, and I think so, which is for the following reasons.（对比论证段） Firstly, people can accumulate a lot of specialized skills and thereby people can take advantage of these skills to get themselves promoted in their company. Secondly, people engaging in one job for a long time can cut the cost of the company in terms of cultivation of qualified talents. From the foregoing, we can conclude that if a person wants to be an expert in a field, he should not hop from one job to another too often.（总结观点段） On Job HoppingWhen it comes to whether people should stick to one job or should hop from one job to another, different people may have different views. Some people would like to engage in one work while others like to change jobs constantly. As for me, I am in favor of the first opinion.（提出观点段）Some people may think that the less challenges in the job they do for a long time will make their life tedious. Meanwhile, they believe that they can not get various work experience if they always do the same job. However, in many others opinion, including me, people can acquire a greater achievement by sticking to one job. The following reasons can account for my preference.（对比论证段）Firstly, people can accumulate a lot of specialized skills, which are beneficial to the development of their career. Secondly, people engaging in one job for a long time can cut the cost of the company in terms of cultivation of qualified talents. From the foregoing, we can conclude that a person should not hop from one job to another too often if he wants to be an expert in a field.（总结观点段）Exercise 2Cell Phones Negative Effects on StudyIn the modern society, the cellphone has become an important means of communication and its role is more and more significant as time passes. The cell phones popularity is increasing and they are no longer luxuries for college students. You will find nearly everyone has a cell phone with themselves, in whichever college.（描述现象段）However, even with its convenience, cell phone still imposes great negative effects on college students study. The negative effects can be embodied in the following aspects. First, cell phones disturb the classes. In classes, the cell phone ring tone plays again and again, so the lecturers have to stop their lectures. This Cell Phones Negative Effects on StudyIn the modern society, the cellphone has become an important means of communication and its role is more and more significant as time passes. With its popularity increasing, cell phones are no longer luxuries for college students. In whichever college, you will find nearly everyone equips themselves with a cell phone. （描述现象段）However, even with its convenience, cell phone still imposes great negative effects on college students study, which can be embodied in the following aspects. First, cell phones disturb the classes. It is not an uncommon phenomenon in the class that the lecturers have to stop due to the cell phone ring tone playing is not an uncommon phenomenon. Second, cell phones distract students concentration on study, for example, many students listen to music or watch movies through their cell phones in classes where they should have learned knowledge. Third, students financial burden is increased by cell phones, because they still depend on their family for living.（说明影响段）From my point of view, college students should remember all the time that their main duty is study. Therefore, anything, including cell phones of course that may hinder their study should not take too much of their attention. All in all, college students should take good use of cell phones.（阐述观点段）again and again. Second, cell phones distract students concentration on study. For example, many students listen to music or watch movies through their cell phones in classes where they should have learned knowledge. Third, cell phones increase the financial burden of the students who still depend on their family for living.（说明影响段）From my point of view, college students should remember all the time that their main duty is study. Therefore, they should not pay too much attention to anything, including cell phone of course, that may hinder their study. All in all, college students should take good use of cell phones. （阐述观点段） Lecture 6第六讲5大写作亮点设计一篇优秀的作文，除了要做到结构清晰、句式多变以外，还需要出现一到两个让考官眼前一亮的亮点，这样的亮点设计会使你的作文文采大增，给考官留下深刻的印象。一、 遣词用语准确地道1认真辨析同义词由于英语词义范畴非常广泛，即便是同义词也只是某种程度上的近似，不可能在意义上完全对等。这就需要考生在选词时斟酌其含义上的微妙差别，辨析同义词在具体语境中的不同用法。【例1】 1. Everyone had special interest while reading, so we could choose different books to read according to our personal interests.2. Everyone had special interest while reading, so we could select different books to read according to our personal interests.【分析】choose指的是“一般性的选择”；而select则强调“在一定范围内挑选”，此处明显用后者更为恰当。2恰当使用限定词用词准确从另外一个角度讲就是要使论述客观、适度，这就需要考生适当使用一些限定词，以避免观点的绝对化，从而提高说服力和可信度。写作中常见的限定词有：may, maybe, perhaps, probably, mainly, generally, commonly, personally, comparatively, typically, usually, sometimes, often, most, mostly, nearly, almost, not necessarily, in general, at least, at most, may as well, had better, to some extent, to some degree, more often than not, for the most part等。【例2】Typically, people prefer to say “yes” when they should say “no”.【分析】typically意为“向来，总是”，表明后面所叙述的情况是一般性或经常性的，这样就使得论述更加客观，提高了可信度。3注意词语的习惯搭配用词准确不但要求考生掌握具体单词的含义，还要熟悉词语的习惯搭配，一定要避免受汉语语意的干扰而出现错误。【例3】 1. The traffic in many big cities is getting more and more crowded.2. The traffic in many big cities is getting heavier and heavier.【分析】汉语中我们可以说 “交通拥挤”，但英文中traffic和crowded是不能搭配的，因为crowded是表示街道、房间等地方挤满了人或东西，我们可以说“The street is crowded.”，但不能说“The traffic is crowded.”。而要表达“交通拥挤”，应该用heavy一词。4避免生造词语生编硬造词语是考生在写作中常犯的错误之一，主要表现为将汉语意思生译成英文，即所谓的“中国式英语”。考生要避免这一错误，一方面平时要多注意对写作中常用词汇的积累，另一方面对于自己没有把握的表达，最好避免使用或用自己熟悉的同