读后续写写作练习讲义-高考英语备考写作复习.docx

课文内容的读后续写案例：高中英语人教版必修二第四单元的主题是关于野生动植物保护，其中reading部分为短文“How Daisy Learned to Help Wildlife”。这篇课文的主题是野生动植物保护，共有四段分三个部分，分别为：Part 1（para 1）：the story of Tibetan antelopes in Tibet： Why we need wildlife protectionPart 2（para 2）：the story of African elephants in Zimbabwe： A good example of wildlife protectionPart 3（para 3-4）：the story of a monkey rubbing a millipede insect over itself in a rainforest： What we can get from wildlife protection文章以Daisy乘坐魔毯来到这三个地方的故事讲述了她对于“为什么要进行野生动植物保护”“野生动植物保护的成功案例”以及“人类从野生动植物保护中可以得到什么好处”这三个层层递进的主题的体验和感想。因此，进一步拓展这些主题，读后续写可设置这样的写作任务：如果Daisy去到第四个地方，会是哪里？她在那里遇到什么动物，那个动物的故事是什么？给Daisy什么启发了吗？词数100左右，越多越好。写作指导这一任务写作的重点是：1.前三个故事都分别从Daisy的视角，以第三人称描述了所见所闻。2.每个故事都包括如下要素：3.有对话描写。4.场景转换处可有魔毯出现。5.注意时态的选择和动词的运用。【习作及点评】习作1Daisy was on her way to WWF when she met the cute panda. This black-and-white species was once in danger because of the lack of bamboo and habitat. “Why are you looking so excited？” asked Daisy. “I am going to the WWF in order to express my sincere thanks.” responded the panda， “I am being helped by it so that I can live in such a secure environment.” then Daisy smiled and offered， “Lets go there together. Id like to introduce a new and effective drug to WWF.”Eventually they headed for WWF together. （CJY， 95 words）点评与上文衔接自然，除了最后部分唐突出现的eventually，对话的比例也和课文非常接近，并且较好地应用了刚刚学过的一些语汇，比如“was once in danger because of the lack of bamboo and habitat”一句中的“in danger”和“habitat”，以及下文中的“respond” “secure”“am being helped （be being done）”都是本单元刚刚学的词汇或语法项目，这个学生尝试在自己的续写中将这些语汇知识转换成自己的写作词汇，虽然不是最恰当，但也值得鼓励。另外，以前背过的感谢信相关表达方式“in order to express my sincere thanks”也被他借用到这篇习作中。美中不足的是，第二段看起来比较草率。总之，这个学生的语感相当不错，也有一定的词汇句法积累，如果能注意结构的平衡就更好了。习作2Daisy decided to do something to protect the animals. She made up her mind and went downstairs. She opened the door and saw a dirty little dog shaking and lying on the ground. “Jesus， what happened to you？ Why are you lying on ground instead of in your home with your master？”“I dont have master and my parents are missing. I beg for food but I only get a little.” The little dog answered. “I want to be your master until you find your parents. Ill take care of you.” Daisy said without a second thought. The little dog agreed thankfully.Daisy took the dog to her home and took care of it as she can. She treated it so well that it felt only happiness and of course， no more sadness and pain. Daisy never forgot the promise she made to help the animals in need and protect them well as she can. She realized that not only the animals in danger need help but also the pets， such as cats， dogs and rabbits. Sometimes people cant give help to the animal which is in the worst situation immediately， but everyone can help the animals in need nearby. Daisy understood that what she had done is just a small thing， but if everyone can do their best to protect the animals and show their respect to the environment. The relationship between humans and the environment will be better. （SJH， 239 words）点评词汇是否地道，所描述内容是否有价值，都能影响表达质量。这个学生的语言驾驭能力应该没有上一个强，但胜在态度认真并且愿意去进行细节描写。比如“She made up her mind and went downstairs. She opened the door and saw a dirty little dog shaking and lying on the ground.”这两句话中出现了6个动词，虽然只是以简单句或并列句的形式出现，但是由于对细节的把控和良好的思维习惯，上下文层层递进，一幅动态的画卷就在读者面前徐徐打开。在以后学了非谓语动词的使用之后，对这个场景稍加修饰，比如，把这两个句子合并成“Having made up her mind， she went downstairs and opened the door. There on the ground lied a dirty little dog， shaking but wagging its tail to her.”那么其习作就不但有内容，也有了更好的语言包装。目前这篇习作的不足之处在于句式单调，类似“she. she. I. I”这样开头的句子不断出现，有一点单调重复，这也是在接下来的两年高中英语学习中应予以注意改善的地方。习作3Daisy looked at the clock and found it was only five oclock in the morning so she made a decision to have some more sleep without interruption. She fell asleep soon. She was still thinking about wildlife protection. Whats more， she was wondering whether there were other examples of animals living in harmony. The flying carpet suddenly appeared by her bed. “I know what you want to see. Come with me.” All of a sudden， they got to a wet land. Daisy saw a rhino bathing itself in a pool with a special bird on it. What a harmonious sight！ Daisys curiosity was inspired. She asked， “what does this mean？” the rhino replied， “oh， my bird catch the bugs on my body to protect me from skin diseases. In return， my duty is to provide shelter for it. We are really good friends.” Daisy smiled， “I see. Please enjoy your time.” The flying carpet said， “as you see， in reality there are many examples which prove that animals have a bond with each other. They help each other. While some species are dying， others will surely be affected.” “You are so clever. I learned a lot. Please take me home so I can write it down.” The flying carpet rose again. In a blink of the eyes， they returned to her home. Upon their arrival， everything began to get vague， Daisy tried to open her eyes. She woke up. It was seven oclock. （CYX， 243 words ）点评这个学生对原文读得很仔细，并且体现在了自己的习作中。比如“The flying carpet suddenly appeared by her bed.” “All of a sudden， they got to a wet land. ”这两种场景切换在原文中都有出现并用不同的表达方式讲述，原文第一个故事是“One day when she woke up and found a flying carpet by her bed.”；第二个故事是 “The flying carpet travelled so fast that next minute they were in .”；第三个故事是“The carpet rose again and almost at once they were in .”，这个学生在阅读的过程中把握了文章的这个特征。另外，他也能够自觉使用高级词汇。比如“provide shelter for”，“in a blink of the eyes”等。但是他在写作中确实还有很多需要改进的地方，比如句式单调重复，多样性不够，总是用 she开头；又比如，在阅读和写作中，有“见木不见林”的倾向，以为堆砌几个高级词汇就能写好文章了。写作不仅需要养成良好的习惯，更要关注篇章的整体性，使整篇习作的整体语言面貌及内容设计与所读短文更契合。学科网（北京）股份有限公司