如何让你的作文shine.ppt

How to make your writing How to make your writing shineshine 书面表达书面表达之之 赢取分数技巧赢取分数技巧如何使书面表达优美流畅?1.适当使用高级词汇适当使用高级词汇2.适当使用丰富的句式适当使用丰富的句式3.适当使用连接词适当使用连接词怎样使用怎样使用较高级的词汇较高级的词汇Which is better?1.1.周末我们会有很多作业要做周末我们会有很多作业要做.A.A.We have endless homework to do at the We have endless homework to do at the weekend.weekend.B.B.We have a lot of homework to do at the We have a lot of homework to do at the weekend.weekend.2.2.在我所有的老师里在我所有的老师里,鲍尔老师给我留鲍尔老师给我留下了很深的印象下了很深的印象.A.OfA.Of all my teachers,I still remember all my teachers,I still remember MrMr Moore.Moore.B.OfB.Of all my teachers,all my teachers,MrMr BourBour gave me the gave me the deepest impression.deepest impression.3.3.他没听我课上讲的东西。他没听我课上讲的东西。A.A.He He turned turned a a deaf deaf ear ear to to what what I I said said in in class.class.B.B.HeHe didnt didnt listen listen to to what what I I said said in in class.class.I a good idea.I had a good idea.A good idea me.occurred to/struck/came tocame up with Dont worry about your expensesfor university education,and we will try to help you.and we will to help you.make the greatesteffort/do our best/try every means.We think the meeting is very important.=We _ _ _ that the meeting is_ _ _.hold the view of great importanceAt that time the taxi driver had to ask the tourist for help.At that time the taxi driver _the tourist.had no choice but to turn to 词汇词汇策略策略 适当运用表达感情的副词适当运用表达感情的副词1.40%support the idea.2.You are wrong.3.Im feeling nervous.terriblyfirmlyabsolutely适当运用表达感情的形容词适当运用表达感情的形容词There is a _ lake in our _ school.It is a _waste of water and electricity.Many students ordered too much _food.lovelybeautifulhugedelicious怎样使用怎样使用较丰富的句式较丰富的句式 1.虽然他是个孩子，但他懂得虽然他是个孩子，但他懂得很多很多(一句多译)Although/Though he is a child,he knows a lot.Child as(though)he is,he knows a lot.2.这本书是如此的有趣，以致于我读了一遍又一遍。This book was so interesting that I read it again and again.This was such an interesting book that I read it again and again.So interesting was this book that I read it again and again.This was so interesting a book that I read it again and again.3.The teacher took a book in his hand 3.The teacher took a book in his hand and came into the classroom.and came into the classroom.=The teacher came into the=The teacher came into theclassroom,classroom,_(用用withwith的复合结构的复合结构)with a book in his hand 怎样使用怎样使用恰当的连接词恰当的连接词并列选择原因结果比较转折递进举例总结and;as well as;also;or;eitheror;or else;otherwiseowing to;due to;on account of;thanks toso;therefore;thus;as a resulton the contrary;on the other hand;likebut;yet;however;although;in spite of;instead;besides;moreover;even;in additionfor example/instance;such as;that is;namely ;after all ;in short;in general;generally speaking;in all,in a word In the first place,the bad habit of being wasteful will have a bad effect on their own character.Secondly,it adds financial burden to their parents.Last but not least,the worlds limited natural resources,such as water and electricity,will be used up soon.First of all,Firstly,First,To begin with,Above allIn addition,Besides,Moreover,Whats moreFurthermoreFinally,Whats worse,1.Play with water 2.Splash water here and there/flow around on the ground1.Pass by/walk by/go past2.Make him wet by splashing /splash him with waterRun away without /run away,leaving 1.Turn off 2.Be angry1.Come back/return /get back2.Feel ashamed/be sorryComment on the former composition:One day after school,Xiao Ming turned on a tap and splashed water here and there.At this moment,Xiao long hapened to pass by.Xiao Ming splashed him with water and made him all wet.Xiao Ming ran away without turning off the tap.When Xiao Long saw this,he went over and turned off the water.He angry because he thinks water shouldnt be wasted.Then he went home and wrote a notice.He put it up on the wall near the tap.After some time,Xiao Long went back and looked the notice.He felt sorry for what he had done.2 加was3 thought4 which read“Save water”.5 sawAttention:1单词拼写要正确3时态语态要准确2句子结构要完整5词语运用要无误4短文要点要完整1.改为happened书面表达解题步骤：书面表达解题步骤：1、审，即：审定体裁、题材、审，即：审定体裁、题材、人人 称、时态、结构等；称、时态、结构等；2、编，即：编写要点，按顺序列出、编，即：编写要点，按顺序列出 3、写，即：连词成句，连句成文；、写，即：连词成句，连句成文；4、查，即：查内容，查格式，、查，即：查内容，查格式，查语法，查书写等。查语法，查书写等。1、审定体裁、审定体裁、题材；题材；2、审定人称；、审定人称；3、审定时态；、审定时态；4、审定要点；、审定要点；5、审定结构。、审定结构。最近，你校师生帮助辍学的李明同学返最近，你校师生帮助辍学的李明同学返校。请根据下表提供的信息，给报社写一封校。请根据下表提供的信息，给报社写一封信，客观介绍这一情况。信，客观介绍这一情况。李明情况李明情况师生情况师生情况1、学习好；品德好；、学习好；品德好；2、父病故；母病重；、父病故；母病重；3、退学；、退学；1、震惊；、震惊；2、捐款、募捐；、捐款、募捐；3、使李明返校；、使李明返校；注意：注意：1、信的开头已为你写好。、信的开头已为你写好。2、词数：、词数：100左右。左右。3、参考词汇：捐款、参考词汇：捐款 offer money;募捐募捐collect money1、审定体裁、审定体裁、题材：题材：2、审定人称：、审定人称：3、审定时态：、审定时态：4、审定要点：、审定要点：5、审定结构：、审定结构：审题提示审题提示:书信、李明遭遇书信、李明遭遇第三和第一人称第三和第一人称现在时、过去时现在时、过去时见作业纸见作业纸可分为两段可分为两段NMET 2005 假假设设你你是是李李华华，你你的的英英国国笔笔友友 Bob 将将于于九九月月到到你你所所在在的的城城市市的的建建新新华华文文学学校校来来学学中中文文，来来信信请请你你在在学学校校附附近近为为他他找找一一套套住住房房。请请根根据据图图画画提提供供的的信信息息，写写信信介绍住房的情况，并告知住房面积为介绍住房的情况，并告知住房面积为25平方米，月租平方米，月租500元。元。注意：注意：1.词数：词数：100左右；左右；2.参考词汇：参考词汇：房租：房租：rent(n.)表达要点：表达要点：1.开头；开头；2.公寓的设施：一室带浴室、厨房；公寓的设施：一室带浴室、厨房；3.公寓面积、家具（公寓面积、家具（25平方，床、沙发、书桌、椅平方，床、沙发、书桌、椅子）；子）；4.公寓的位置（芳草街，离学校一站远）；公寓的位置（芳草街，离学校一站远）；5.月租月租 500元；元；6.结尾。结尾。根据表达要点写出书面表达。开头、结尾的内根据表达要点写出书面表达。开头、结尾的内容要注意合乎逻辑、语言得体。容要注意合乎逻辑、语言得体。审审 题题 1.行文逻辑是否恰当影响得分Dear Bob,Im happy to know that you want to study Chinese in Jianxin Chinese School in my city this September.Glad to tell you that I have found a house for you near the school.The flat lies in a building in(on/at)Fangcao Street nearby.Its on the third floor,which covers an area of 25 square metres,including a living room,there is a sofa,a bed and a desk with a light and a chair.Fortunately,the rent is not high,about 500 yuan a month.In addition,outside your building there is a bus stop,you can get school at the next bus stop.Im looking forward to your arrival.Best wishes!Yours,Li Hua点评 1、全文语句流畅自然，质朴悠扬，、全文语句流畅自然，质朴悠扬，几乎一气呵成，几乎一气呵成，尽管房子位于芳草街不用介词尽管房子位于芳草街不用介词 in 而用而用 on/at，但整篇文但整篇文章这逻辑美仍幽雅动人。评卷老师一致认为应给满分章这逻辑美仍幽雅动人。评卷老师一致认为应给满分25分。分。2、应用了较多高级词汇，如：、应用了较多高级词汇，如：lies covers including with fortunately in addition look forward to 等，也是得分的因素之一。等，也是得分的因素之一。Dear Bob,You say(said)you will(would)study Chinese in Jian Xin Hua Wen School in my city and want(wanted)me to find a room for you in your last letter.I have some information about it to tell you.The room is in(on)the third floor of a building which stands in(at)the Fang Cao Street on which the No.11 bus stop lies so that you can go to school by bus every day.Besides,the room covering 25 square metres includes a bedroom,a toilet and a kitchen.Whats the most importance(important),the rent isnt very expensive,only 500 yuan a month.Hope you will like it!By the way,have a good journey when you come.Yours,Li Hua点评 全文尽管有不少错误，全文尽管有不少错误，但最为闪亮的是该同学驾驭语但最为闪亮的是该同学驾驭语言行文逻辑的能力不错，言行文逻辑的能力不错，也用到了一些复杂句，最后得也用到了一些复杂句，最后得分分18分。分。2.是否使用高级词汇影响得分Dear Bob,How are you?I have found a good place for you to study here.Its on the third floor of a tall building just behind the Fangcao Street stop of the No.11 bus.And the next stop is the Jian Xin Hua Wen School,so its easy to get to the school.The place(flat)covers an area of 25 square metres.There is a large(small,or large)bedroom with a bed,sofa and a desk in it.Next to the bedroom there is a kitchen and a bathroom,both of which keep some necessary furniture.And the rent is 500 RMB per month.Im looking forward to your reply.Best wishes!Yours,Li Hua点评 本文所使用的高级词汇有：本文所使用的高级词汇有：just behind/cover/next to/both of/keep/look forward to 等，等，最后得分最后得分23分。分。3.是否使用复杂句影响得分Dear Bob,How glad I was when I got the news that you would come to my city to learn Chinese in Jianxin Hua Wen School.As soon as I knew your plan,I went to many places near the school to find a flat for you.Now Ill introduce it to you.The flat is at(on)the third floor of a tall building in(at/on)the Fangcao Street,and there is a bus stop near the building,so its very convenient for you to go to the school.The flat which covers an area of 25 square metres contains a toilet,a small kitchen and a bedroom.Besides,there are many furnitures(no pl.form),such as a desk,a chair,a bed and so on.The rent of the flat is 500 yuan a month.Im sure you will like the small but beautiful house.Best wishes!Yours,Li Hua点评 本文除个別错误外，还用了几个高级词汇，如：本文除个別错误外，还用了几个高级词汇，如：convenient/cover/besides/the small but beautiful,更为更为可贵的是至少用了三个非常好的复杂句：感叹句与同位语可贵的是至少用了三个非常好的复杂句：感叹句与同位语从句从句“How glad I was when I got the news that you would come to my city to learn Chinese in Jianxin Hua Wen School.”；As soon as 引导的状语从句；引导的状语从句；Im sure 引导的引导的宾语从句，最后得分宾语从句，最后得分24分。分。4.语篇信息影响得分 Dear Bob,Im glad to know that youll come to Jianxin Hua Wen School in our city to study Chinese.In your last letter,you asked me to look for a house.And now,Ill tell you something about it.The house is in(on/at)Fangcao Street and its behind the No.11 bus stop,so you can take it and get off at the next bus stop to the school.So its convenient for you.The house is 25 square meters in size and the rent of it is 500 yuan per month.It includes three rooms:(a)bathroom,(a)kitchen and(a)bedroom which has(a)sofa,(a)bed,(a)desk and so on.You can have a good rest when tired.Meanwhile,the environment is also very good.Trees and grass are around your house.Im sure youll be glad about it.Wish you a good time here and study Chinese well.Yours,Li Hua点评 全文的语篇信息基本给全：有问候语、房间位置、大全文的语篇信息基本给全：有问候语、房间位置、大小、房租、结束语，此外，也用到了一些高级词汇小、房租、结束语，此外，也用到了一些高级词汇 in size/include/get off/convenient/meanwhile/environment 等，也有少许复杂句，最后得分等，也有少许复杂句，最后得分24分。分。卷面整洁与否，书写工整与否影响得分 有有一位一位考生的书面表达，整个文章书写特别规范，字考生的书面表达，整个文章书写特别规范，字迹式整，耐看，信息基本给出，有个别高级词汇迹式整，耐看，信息基本给出，有个别高级词汇 hear from,有个别复杂句结构：有个别复杂句结构：ask somebody to do something,没有很好地使用没有很好地使用 there be 结构，属第三档低分位给分，但结构，属第三档低分位给分，但由于卷面整洁，书写工整，最后在第三档高位给分由于卷面整洁，书写工整，最后在第三档高位给分15分。分。小结小结1.行文逻辑是否恰当影响得分2.是否使用高级词汇影响得分3.是否使用复杂句影响得分4.语篇信息影响得分 卷面整洁与否，书写工整与否影响得分根据根据下列图画下列图画中中Tom骑骑自行车的自行车的经历，用经历，用英语写一英语写一篇短文。篇短文。短文要写短文要写得连贯、得连贯、完整。完整。字数字数100字左右。字左右。审审 题题1、体裁：叙述、体裁：叙述Tom骑自行车的经历，骑自行车的经历，为记叙文体为记叙文体2、主要时态：一般过去时，叙述描、主要时态：一般过去时，叙述描绘一起交通事故绘一起交通事故3、人称：第三人称、人称：第三人称Tom4、要点：记叙描绘文体，抓住四个、要点：记叙描绘文体，抓住四个要点：时间、地点、人物、事件的前后要点：时间、地点、人物、事件的前后经过。经过。词词 句句 文文Words：to ride a bike to hit his bike and fall offSentences：Tom was riding a bike along the street.The car hit his bike and he fell off it.Passage：The other day,Tom was riding along the street.Suddenly,a car was running towards him fast and hit his bike,then he fell off it.The other day,Tom was riding along the street.Suddenly,a car was running towards him fast.He was so frightened that he quickly turned to the left side.But it was too late.The car hit his bike and he fell off it.When the driver realized that he had caused an accident,he got such a fright that he took flight with his car.He was soon out of sight,leaving Tom helpless on the spot.Fortunately a passer-by happened to see what had happened and remembered the number of the car.He reported this to the police.Now the driver has been caught and will be punished for his wrong doing.Rome is not built in one day！Practice makes perfect！Ladiesandgentlemen,Welcometoourschool!Ladiesandgentlemen,Welcometoourschool!Thisvillageisverysmall.Ithasnearly100familiesandabout500people.Itusedtobeverypoor.Ithaschangedalotsince1978.Peopleherearericherthanbefore.Nowitistakingonanewlook.Thisvillageisa small one with/which hasnearly100familiesandabout500people.Itusedtobeverypoor.However,ithaschangedalotsince1978 and has been developing very fast.Peopleherelive a much better lifethanbefore.书面表达书面表达：例1Nowitistakingonanewlook.高考完美作文模板阐述主题说明原因一阐述主题说明原因一阐述主题说明原因一阐述主题说明原因一Nowadays,therearemoreandmore_in_.Itisestimatedthat_.Whyhavetherebeensomany_?Maybethereasonscanbelistedasfollows.The first one is_.Besides,_.The third one is_.Tosumup,themaincauseofitisdueto_.Itishightimethatsomethingweredoneuponit.Foronething,_.Foranotherthing,_.Allthesemeasureswillcertainlyreducethenumberof_.对比观点作文对比观点作文二_isbecomingmoreandmorepopularrecently.Therearetwosidesofopinionsofit.Somepeoplesay_istheirfavorite.Theyholdtheirviewforthereasonof_.What is more,_,Moreover,_.Whileothersthinkthat_isabetterchoiceinthefollowingthreereasons.Firstly,_.Secondly(besides),_.Thirdly(finally),_.Frommypointofview,Ithink_.Thereasonisthat_.Asamatteroffact,therearesomeotherreasonstoexplainmychoice.Forme,theformerissurelyawisechoice.利弊型作文利弊型作文利弊型作文利弊型作文三NowadaysmanypeoplepreferAbecauseithasasignificantroleinourdailylife.Generally,itsadvantagescanbeseenasfollows.First-(的优点之一).Besides-（的优点之二）.Buteverycoinhastwosides.Thenegativeaspectsarealsoapparent.Oneoftheimportantdisadvantagesisthat-(的第一个缺点)Tomakemattersworse,-(的第二个缺点)Throughtheaboveanalysis,Ibelievethatthepositiveaspectsoverweighthenegativeones.Therefore,Iwouldliketo-(我的看法)(FromthecomparisonbetweenthesepositiveandnegativeeffectsofA,weshouldtakeitreasonablyanddoitaccordingtothecircumstanceswearein.Onlybythisway,-(对前景的预测)图表作文模板图表作文模板四Asisshownbythefigure/percentageinthetable/picture,_hasbeenonrise/decrease,significantly/dramaticallyrising/decreasingfrom_in_to_in_.Fromthesharprise/declineinthechart,itgoeswithoutsayingthat_.Thereareatleasttwogoodreasonsaccountingfor_.Ontheonehand,_.Ontheotherhand,_isduetothefactthat_.Inaddition,_isresponsiblefor_.Maybetherearesomeotherreasonstoshow_.Butitisgenerallybelievedthattheabovementionedreasonsarecommonlyconvincing.AsfarasIamconcerned,Iholdthepointofviewthat_.Iamsuremyopinionisbothsoundandwell-grounded.书信格式书信格式Dec9,2011DearSam,Iamextremelypleasedtohearfromyou.AndIwouldliketowritealettertotellyouthat_.（正文内容）Iwillgreatlyappreciatearesponsefromyouatyourearliestconvenience(Iamlookingforwardtoyourrepliesatyourearliestconvenience.)Bestregardsforyourhealthandsuccess.Sincerelyyours,Lily