Unit13 Comments on writing.ppt

Unit 13Were trying to save the earth!Section B 3a-3bWriting Along with the modernization(现代化现代化)of China,the environment is facing more and more challenges and is constantly worsening.(getting worse and worse)Write a letter to the city mayor about the problems and your suggestions on them.You have to elaborate（详尽说明详尽说明）on the following aspects:1)What is the most serious environmental problem in your city?2)What or who is causing the problems?3)How should the problem be solved?What are the environmental problems?climate change(global warming)various kinds of pollution(air/water/noise/waste pollution)endangered animals resources and energy crisis危机危机environmental problemsWhat or who is causing the problems?climate change(global warming)various kinds of pollution(air/water/noise/waste pollution)endangered animals resources and energy crisis危机危机environmental problemsnatural disastershuman activitiesnatural disastershuman activitieshuman activitiesendless killingthe loss of their homesthe shortage of the foodexhaust fumes from cars cut down more treeshuman activitiesthe increasing populationtoo much wastethe factories.exhaust fumes from cars industrial waste/from factorieslifestyleHow should the problem be solved?climate change(global warming)various kinds of pollution(air/water/noise/waste pollution)endangered animals resources and energy crisis危机危机the government?individuals?organizations?The ways to give suggestions:We shouldWe are supposed to.I think can help.Its a good idea for us to.We had better.Remember to.The outline BeginningBodyEndingproblemAlong with the modernization of our city,the environment is facing more and more challenges and is constantly worsening.causessuggestionsHowever,the most serious problem we are facing is.First of all,we should.summary (hope)So together,our actions can make a difference and lead to a better futrure!Lead-in natural disasters human activitiesWhats more,its a good idea to.Last but not least,I think.can help How to polish our essay?Besides,I think save electricity can help.You had better to reduce the number of factories and burn coal.Besides,I think saving electricity can help.You had better reduce the number of factories that burn coal.Lets look at two sentences.Use correct g_.grammarHow can we improve this sentence?So together,our actions can our future.So together,our actions canour future.changemake a big difference to Use different w_ and p_ to enrich the sentence.wordsphrasesHow can we improve this sentence?The main cause of air pollution is exhuast fumes from cars.which is making the atmosphere be full of huge quantity of toxic particles Add more related i_ to the sentence.informationrelatedThe main cause of air pollution is exhuast fumes from cars,The environmental problem in our city is quite serious and it can be regarded as an urgency.How can we improve this sentence?The environmental problem in our city is serious it can be regarded as an urgency.sothatUse different s_ p_ to enrich the sentence.sentencepatterns43Use different sentence patterns 12Use correct grammarUse different words and phrasesAdd more related informationTo improve a sentence,we need to:Lets move on to a paragraph.Therefore,measures need to be taken as soon as possible.I think we can start the even-odd license plate plan,for the sake of controlling the exhaust fumes of cars,which is one of the biggest contributors to smog.And a large amount of energy supply comes from burning coal,another contributor to smog.Its of great necessity to close down some factories.Also,we should ensure that the factory throw industrial waste in a responsible way.Not only should we protect the environment but also we should encourage people around us to do so.Therefore,measures need to be taken as soon as possible.I think we can start the even-odd license plate plan,for the sake of controlling the exhaust fumes of cars,which is one of the biggest contributors to smog.a,a large amount of energy supply comes from burning coal,another contributor to smog.Its of great necessity to close down some factories.Also,we should ensure that the factory throw industrial waste in a responsible way.,not only should we protect the environment but also we should encourage people around us to do so.To begin with,In additionLast but not leastUse different l_ w_.linking wordsLets do a little summary about linking words.Firstly,First of all,In the first place,To begin with,To start with,Lastly,Finally,Secondly,In the second place,Most importantly,Last but not least,Besides,Furthermore,Whats more,Moreover(而且),In addition(此外)/AdditionallyApart from that(除此之外),Choose proper linking words to make the whole paragraph more logic!Along with the development and modernization of our city,the environment is constantly worsening.Among all the problems,the most serious one we are facing now is the extinction of animals.The products which are made of animal fur,or even body have become much more popular recently,for they are considered as the symbol of power and wealth on account of their rarity and high prize.So in order to make much money,more and more people are massively hunting down the endangered animal such as sharks for shark fin soup,elephants for ivories,rhinos for horns and so on.First of all,there should be some propaganda explaining the consequences such behavior and correcting peoples wrong opinions of the products.Besides,the government should set up laws to restrict this trade and industry and anyone who breaks it will be severely punished.Last but not least,more wildlife reserves should be set up to prevent the hunters from killing the animals illegally.All in all,human beings should raise their awareness of this problem for the earth belongs to ourselves,human can no longer exist if animals die out.As the proverb goes,“No trade,no killing.”Together,our actions can make a difference and lead to a better life when both human and animals live on the earth harmoniously.Lets move on to a passage.transitonal sentencesA good passage needs to show a clear s_.a clear structureAlong with the development and modernization of our city,the environment is constantly worsening.Among all the problems,the most serious one we are facing now is the extinction of animals.The products which are made of animal fur,or even body have become much more popular recently,for they are considered as the symbol of power and wealth on account of their rarity and high prize.So in order to make much money,more and more people are massively hunting down the endangered animal such as sharks for shark fin soup,elephants for ivories,rhinos for horns and so on.First of all,there should be some propaganda explaining the consequences such behavior and correcting peoples wrong opinions of the products.Besides,the government should set up laws to restrict this trade and industry and anyone who breaks it will be severely punished.Last but not least,more wildlife reserves should be set up to prevent the hunters from killing the animals illegally.All in all,human beings should raise their awareness of this problem for the earth belongs to ourselves,human can no longer exist if animals die out.As the proverb goes,“No trade,no killing.”Together,our actions can make a difference and lead to a better life when both human and animals live on the earth harmoniously.As far as Im concerned,there is one main reason behind the problemIn order to protect these animals from extinction,Id like to give some advice of my ownBeginningBodyEndingUse correct grammarUse different words and phrasesAdd more related informationUse different sentence patterns 4123 sentenceparagraphUse linking wordspassageShow a clear structureWhat makes an outstanding piece of writing?Successful Writing:Follow the Rules.Read more.SentenceSentenceParagraphParagraphPassagePassageEnlarge your vocabulary!1.Exchange your essays,discuss and share your opinions in pairs.2.Make improvements on the essays.3.Read the revised version to the class.Pair WorkKeep in mind the rules weve summarized today.