外贸英语写作 第四章-商务英语的文体.ppt

Business English Writing第四章第四章 商务英语的文体商务英语的文体(Business English Style)现代商务英语的文体讲究简洁明快。因此在写作商务信函或传真时，务必注意使句子简短扼要。一、简练的句子写（简练的句子的关一、简练的句子写（简练的句子的关键在于删除累赘的词语）键在于删除累赘的词语）1.删除重复的词语和词缀 e.g.Our reserves of oil are becoming smaller and smaller.修改后：Our reserves of oil are shrinking.Our reserves of oil are shrinking.我们的石油储备在我们的石油储备在减少。减少。In addition,we are also including a current price list.修改后：In addition,we are including a current price list.In addition,we are including a current price list.此此外，我们附上一份现行价目表。外，我们附上一份现行价目表。The auditors usually arrive unexpectedly,but well be prepared no matter when the auditors arrive.修改后：The auditors usually arrive unexpectedly,but well The auditors usually arrive unexpectedly,but well be prepared no matter when they arrive.be prepared no matter when they arrive.审计员通常出人意料地到来，但我们不管他们什么时候审计员通常出人意料地到来，但我们不管他们什么时候来都会有准备。来都会有准备。2.删除那些解释明白无误事实的词语In the color of blue可以简化为in bluein blue。in the year of 1995可以简化为in 1995in 1995。In the introductionIn the introduction at the beginning introduction导言都是在书的开头的，因此at the beginning 可删去。3.删除毫无内容的累赘词语The more you buy,the result is that as far as money is concerned the The more you buy,the result is that as far as money is concerned the more you spend.more you spend.修改后：The more you buy,the more you spend.The more you buy,the more you spend.你买得越多就花钱越多。你买得越多就花钱越多。（在这个句型中，第二部分就是表示结果，因此没有必要说the result is that。另外，spend暗含的意思就是“花钱”，所以不必要说as far as money is concerned。）In the event that you can attend the meeting,plan in advance to In the event that you can attend the meeting,plan in advance to offer some concrete suggestions on how to reduce the cost and offer some concrete suggestions on how to reduce the cost and expense of overtime in the Office Services Department.expense of overtime in the Office Services Department.（在这个句子中有很多冗长的短语可以用更简短的词来表达，如：in the event that=if;plan in advance“plan”本来就是指事先计划，因此in advance（事先、预先）是多余的。Cost and expense 在本句中是同义词，只用其一就够了。）修改后：If you can attend the meeting,plan to offer suggestions on how to If you can attend the meeting,plan to offer suggestions on how to reduce overtime expense in the Office Services Department.reduce overtime expense in the Office Services Department.如果你如果你能参加会议，请计划提出如何削减办公室服务部开支的建议。能参加会议，请计划提出如何削减办公室服务部开支的建议。4.将从句压缩成短语，短语压缩成单词The report that discussed the fiscal crisis was read by businessmen,who showed great interest.修改后：The report on the fiscal crisis was read with interest by The report on the fiscal crisis was read with interest by businessmen.businessmen.商人们兴趣盎然地阅读了那份关于财政危机的报告。商人们兴趣盎然地阅读了那份关于财政危机的报告。（你可以看出来，修改后的句子是用一个介词短语on the fiscal crisis 来代替原句中的定语从句 that discussed the fiscal crisis，从而省略了一个词。）The employee with ambition is in all probability likely to get results that are good.修改后：The ambitious employee is likely to get good results.The ambitious employee is likely to get good results.胸怀大志的雇胸怀大志的雇员有可能获得好成绩。员有可能获得好成绩。（原句中的with ambition 被缩写成一个形容词ambitious，另外，in all probability 跟likely的意思一样，因此可以省略。）The memo that was written by Mary got lost.修改后：The memo by Mary got lost.The memo by Mary got lost.玛丽写的备忘录丢了。玛丽写的备忘录丢了。The memo written by Mary got lost.The memo written by Mary got lost.5.将定语从句改为前置定语（前置形容词）This amount,which is considered to be insignificant,should be written off as a bad debt.修改后：This insignificant amount should be written off as a This insignificant amount should be written off as a bad debt.bad debt.这笔微不足道的金额应该作为坏账报废。这笔微不足道的金额应该作为坏账报废。Less than half the merchandise that was damaged could be sold.修改后：Less than half the damaged merchandise was Less than half the damaged merchandise was salable.salable.损坏的货物中不到一半可以出售。损坏的货物中不到一半可以出售。The workers who produce the most will receive bonuses.修改后：The most productive workers will receive bonuses.The most productive workers will receive bonuses.生产效率最高的工人会得到奖金。生产效率最高的工人会得到奖金。6.用简单句不用复杂句A world that is rapidly changing requires education that continues.修改后：A rapidly changing world requires continuing A rapidly changing world requires continuing education.education.急遽变化的世界需要人们接受继续教育。急遽变化的世界需要人们接受继续教育。A business that is local is one that depends upon customers who are steady.修改后：A local business depends on steady customers.A local business depends on steady customers.地区地区性商业依赖固定的顾客。性商业依赖固定的顾客。Communication is,of course,of vital importance to any business that wants to achieve efficiency.修改后：Communication is vital to business efficiency.Communication is vital to business efficiency.通讯通讯对于商业效率是至关重要的。对于商业效率是至关重要的。二、避免陈旧的商务用语二、避免陈旧的商务用语一些商务英语写作教材中，我们不时可以看到一些陈旧的商务用语。这些表达方式使你的信函文体显得古板僵化，而且太正式的语气也使你和收信人之间的关系疏远。因此，我们有必要区别什么是现代常用的商务英语表达方式，什么是古老陈旧的商务套话（commercialese）。1.开头部分2.结尾部分3.杂项三、在英语中用表示动作的词和主动三、在英语中用表示动作的词和主动语态写作使得行文更有力。语态写作使得行文更有力。用表示动作的陈述句来写，尽量少用there be 句型，例如：There were four companies that bid for the contract.修改后：Four companies Four companies bidbid for the contract.for the contract.四家公司投标四家公司投标争取这项合同。争取这项合同。There was a meeting of the staff yesterday in Chicago.修改后：The staff met yesterday in Chicago.The staff met yesterday in Chicago.工作人员昨天工作人员昨天在芝加哥开了会。在芝加哥开了会。There are two interesting proposals for alternative energy sources which deserve research support.修改后：Two interesting proposals for alternative energy Two interesting proposals for alternative energy sources deserve research support.sources deserve research support.有两个关于利用替有两个关于利用替代能源的提议值得给予研究资助。代能源的提议值得给予研究资助。四、使用主动语态还是被动语态一般来说，尽量使用主动语态。这样使得句子更强有力。只一般来说，尽量使用主动语态。这样使得句子更强有力。只有及物动词才能在主动语态和被动语态之间转换。例如：有及物动词才能在主动语态和被动语态之间转换。例如：The broker sold the stocks.（主动语态，主语施加动作。）（主动语态，主语施加动作。）The stocks were sold by the broker.The stocks were sold by the broker.（被动语态，主语是（被动语态，主语是动作的接受者。）主动语态更直接、简短和有力。而被动语动作的接受者。）主动语态更直接、简短和有力。而被动语态则是用来陈述客观科学事实、表示不带个人感情，或者在态则是用来陈述客观科学事实、表示不带个人感情，或者在不知道动作的执行者时用它。不知道动作的执行者时用它。在下列句子中，使用主动语态要比使用被动语态好。在下列句子中，使用主动语态要比使用被动语态好。The address was delivered to the ABA by the president last week.修改后：修改后：The president addressed the ABA last week.The president addressed the ABA last week.The books were ordered by us two months ago.修改后：修改后：We ordered the books two months ago.We ordered the books two months ago.在下列句子中，被动语态要比主动语态好。在下列句子中，被动语态要比主动语态好。The report has been filed.The bank was closed.The letter was marked“confidential.”有些公文式英语过分使用名词化的动词，从而使得句子软弱无力。下面这些名词后缀表示名词化的动词：-ion,-tion,-ing,-ment,-ant,-ent,-ance,-able。请避免使用下面左边这些名词化的动词：come to a conclusion concludeconcludecreate an adjustment adjustadjustrender assistance assistassistdo a study studystudy练习一练习写简洁的句子练习一练习写简洁的句子1.删去下列句子中不必要的万分，把句子改写得更简洁。A A1）She has resigned from her post as invoice clerk.She has resigned as invoice clerk.She has resigned as invoice clerk.2）One way out of the difficulty still remains open.One way out of the difficulty remains open.One way out of the difficulty remains open.3）In the event of your wishing me to do so,I will call on you next week.If you wish me to do so,I will call on you next week.If you wish me to do so,I will call on you next week.4）I have been unable to reply before owing to the fact that I have only just returned from abroad.I have been unable to reply before because I have only I have been unable to reply before because I have only just returned from abroad.just returned from abroad.6）His appointment dates as and from March 1.His appointment dates from March 1.His appointment dates from March 1.8）The true facts of the situation are not yet in our possession.The facts of the situation are not yet in our possession.The facts of the situation are not yet in our possession.B B1）Upon examining our records,it seems that you have forgotten to file the personal data form which is required.We find that you have forgotten to file the required We find that you have forgotten to file the required personal data form.personal data form.4）The manager who is most experienced and with the greatest efficiency,it seems obvious,should be given consideration for being promoted first.ObviouslyObviously，the most experienced and efficient manager the most experienced and efficient manager should be considered first for promotion.should be considered first for promotion.25）We trust that you will concur with our understanding of what the billing statement should be;however,should you require additional information,please do not hesitate to contact us.We believe that the billing statement is correctWe believe that the billing statement is correct，but but feel free to contact us for more information.feel free to contact us for more information.或或We believe the bill is correctWe believe the bill is correct，but contact us if you need but contact us if you need more information.more information.2.改写下列句子。删除多余的词，改正结构错误。每道题改写成一个句子。2）The facts are that we only sold 150 Selectric typewriters,while under the new plan,250 machines were sold in October,and reports are that 400 machines have been sold already in November.We sold only 150 We sold only 150 SelectricSelectric typewriters in September;typewriters in September;but under the new plan,we sold 250 sets in October and but under the new plan,we sold 250 sets in October and 400 in November.400 in November.7）The machine is well worth that cost because it has certain characteristics that are attractive.Productivity can be increased,for example,and the machine has versatility that is greater.Besides,the machine is easier to operate.The machine is cost-effective because it has higher The machine is cost-effective because it has higher productivity,greater versatility and is easier to operate.productivity,greater versatility and is easier to operate.15）With reference to the forthcoming holidays,we have seen fit to make the following arrangements.We have made the following arrangements for the We have made the following arrangements for the coming ing holidays.练习二写简单句：按照指示把下面练习二写简单句：按照指示把下面的句子改写成简单句或并列句。的句子改写成简单句或并列句。1.The world can be described as being in a state of flux;that flux,or continuous state of movement,is constant.It never changes.One simple sentence:One simple sentence:The world is in a state of The world is in a state of constant flux.constant flux.2.The fact is that environment is adapted to the wants we have.In turn,wants are altered with circumstance.One compound sentence:One compound sentence:Environment is adapted to Environment is adapted to wants,and wants alter with environment.wants,and wants alter with environment.3.Ideas come into existence;machines are created;people are born.All of these things reach fruition,and then they die.After that they are replace by new ideas and other machines and the next generations.One simple sentence:People,ideas,machines are One simple sentence:People,ideas,machines are born or created,reach fruition and die,to be born or created,reach fruition and die,to be replaced by new generations,new ideas,and new replaced by new generations,new ideas,and new machines.machines.练习三写强势句练习三写强势句A有时there be 结构是有用的，有时则是多余的。请阅读下列句子，判断哪些是合适的，哪些需要删去there be 结构：1.There is much controversy over the new tax law.2.There is a book by Sylvia Porter,How to Get More for Your Money,that would interest you.A book by Sylvia Porter,How to Get More for Your Money,would interest you.3.There are two works by representative American economists to be added to the list.Two works by representative American economists are to be added to the list.5.There is an answer to problem.6.There are a sales proposal and a personnel report on the agenda.练习四写强势句练习四写强势句B2.Executives are sent by some companies to conferences on handling television interviews.Some companies sent executives to Some companies sent executives to conferences on handling television interviewsconferences on handling television interviews练习五写强势句练习五写强势句C找出下列句子中的be动词，并且用表示动作的词（action verbs）代替表示状态的be：例：It is my opinion that the typewriter has been repaired.修改后：I think that the typewriter has been repaired.1.He is someone who can accomplish a great deal in a short period of time.He can accomplish a lot in a short period of time.He can accomplish a lot in a short period of time.4.We have been in business manufacturing fine fabrics for over a hundred years.We have manufactured fine fabrics for over a We have manufactured fine fabrics for over a hundred years.hundred years.7.It is our expectation that the store will sell both mens and womens clothing.We expect that the store will sell both mens and We expect that the store will sell both mens and womens clothing.womens clothing.练习八把下面的句子和段落改写成练习八把下面的句子和段落改写成简洁易懂的话简洁易懂的话11）American business has a goal,which is to try to raise the standard of living.The goal of the American business is to The goal of the American business is to raise the living standard.raise the living standard.6）There is another name for specialization;that is,it is called the division of labor.There is another name for specialization;There is another name for specialization;that is,the division of labor.that is,the division of labor.Another name for specialization is the Another name for specialization is the division of labor.division of labor.