读后续写封皮.pdf

读后主编 陶然公众号：NMET_BJBilibili账号：Free高考英语freeThe world is like a mirrorThe world is like a mirror：From at itand From at itand it frowns at youit frowns at you；smilesmile，and it smile too.and it smile too.Some journeys take longer than others.Sometimes,were detoured along the way.Dreams can and do come true every day.目录目录讲解故事构成1解析 2020 新高考全国卷卷2解析 2020 年 7 月浙江卷6-1-FREEFREE 高考读后续写高考读后续写成就故事的关键成就故事的关键故事六要素故事六要素注注：这六要素构成了故事，但是主要还是为了故事的价值价值服务。在续写里面，故事的结构、事件、价值等都是已经固定好了，需要自己操作的是在一个特定的场景里，人物要做什么，用一个什么样的顺序去做这些事情，写故事的最后一幕。故事的情节设定故事的情节设定经典情节经典情节因果逻辑、封闭结尾、线性时间、外部冲突、单一主角、现实视角、积极人物小情节开放结尾、内部冲突、多主角 消极人物反情节偶然巧合、非线性时间、非现实视角注：注：经典情节：类似于复仇、武侠等狗血剧情小情节：可以参考一下金庸的倚天屠龙记的结尾，或者平平无奇的一个姑娘自己的内心戏反情节：荒诞派，情节虚幻，一点都不现实龙傲天、霸道总裁爱上我等爽文故事结构结构+事件事件+场景场景+节奏节奏+顺序顺序+幕幕自我认知故事技能文学技能将生活转化为更具力量、更清晰、更有意义的体验的创作将日常语言转化为更高层次、更有语言表达能力、更生动描述的创造能力-2-解析新高考卷：ACTACT：背景背景、价值价值帮助他人帮助他人The Meredith family lived in a small community.As the economy was in decline,some people in thetown had lost their jobs.Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet.People werewere tryingtrying to to helphelpeacheach otherother meet the challenges.Mrs.Meredith was a mostmost kindkind andand thoughtfulthoughtful woman.She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor.She knew they had problems,and they needed all kinds of help.When she had time,she would bring foodand medicine to them.注：注：in a small community 这是在交代小背景，之后在写大背景经济整体下滑，失去工作，让自己的日子过得去，were trying to help each other 这就是这篇文章所要表达的价值，那在下文就需要创造出来一个需要帮助的人。Mrs.Meredith 这个人善良、体贴他人，这也是在呼应文章的价值。ACTACT：特定事件特定事件、主要人物主要人物、价值价值、发现问题发现问题OneOne morningmorning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before.There was a man sickin bed,his wife,who took care of him and could not go out to work,and their little boy.The little boy his name was BernardBernard had interested her very much.“I wish you could see him,”she said to her own children,John,John,Harry,Harry,andand ClaraClara.“He is such a helpto his mother.He wants very much to earn some money,but I dont see what he can do.”注：注：One morning 这是一个重要的分幕标志，前两段是一个普遍状况，是在描述一个背景，从第三段开始，就要切入进一个单一事件了。第三段中三个句子，交代清楚了主要人物，母亲、三个孩子和帮助对象，那么文章所讲的问题也就要出场了。第四段一开始就是个引号，意味着这段一定是和第三段合在一起的。为什么要把这些名字写出来呢？Bernard、John,Harry,and Clara，因为要分出主次人物，就像他的父母，在续写中就不需要写出来，因为那是一个工具人，意在强调孩子。I dont see what he can do 这是在延续价值观，并且发现了问题，孩子遇到了困难，我想帮助，但不知道怎么去帮助。ACTACT：价值价值、提出解决方案提出解决方案After their mother left the room,the children sat thinking about Bernard.“I wish we could helphelp himhim to toearnearn moneymoney.”said Clara.“His family is suffering so much.”-3-FREEFREE 高考读后续写高考读后续写“So do I,”said Harry.“We really should dodo somethingsomething to to assistassist themthem.”For some moments,John said nothing,but,suddenly,he sprang to his feet and cried,“I havehave a a greatgreatideaidea!I havehave a a solutionsolution that we can all helphelp accomplishaccomplish(完成).”The other children alsoalso jumped up all attention.WhenWhen JohnJohn hadhad anan idea,idea,it it waswas suresure to to bebe a a goodgood oneone.“I tell you what we can do,”said John.“You know that big box of corn Uncle John sent us?Well,we canmake popcorn(爆米花),and put it into paper bags,and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”注：第八段的首句 also 就意味着这段和上一段是不可分开的。就像“I have a great idea!I have a solution that we can all help accomplish(完成).”和 When John hadan idea,it was sure to be a good one 这就是在留伏笔，既然有想法了，那就一定是一个好想法，这个想法就一定是可以实现的，这就是一条单线式的结尾。make popcorn(爆米花)这个就是线索。ACTACT：价值价值、圆满解决问题圆满解决问题、帮助他人帮助他人WhenWhen Mrs.Mrs.MeredithMeredith heardheard of of JohnJohn s s idea,idea,sheshe thoughtthought it it waswas a a goodgood one,one,too.too.注：这段首句表示母亲赞同孩子的想法，那么往下就是要开始做，准备的过程。场景：制作爆米花的场景，制作爆米花应该在家里/厨房里/客厅里，总之一定在室内节奏：母亲在干什么？三个孩子 Clara/Harry/John 分别在干什么？被帮助的对象 Bernard 在干什么？顺序：在之前、在之后、同时写作想法：写作想法：概括：所以他们就开始做了。分工场景：Clara 负责准备 popcorn，同时 Harry 负责准备 paper bags，John 负责邀请 Bernard情节发展：Bernard 同意加入结果：在母亲的帮助下，四个孩子一起做好了爆米花把想法转变为英文：把想法转变为英文：概括概括：所以他们就开始制作爆米花了。So their preparation started immediately.注：在写作时直接写某件事开始了，只要写到开始就要配上 immediately分工场景分工场景：Clara 负责准备 popcorn，同时同时 Harry 负责准备 paper bags，John 负责邀请 Bernard。Clara brought the box of corn from the kitchen,whilewhile Harry offered to buy some paper bags from the nearbygrocery.或者 Harry offered to find some white paper and make bags for the popcorn.In In thethe meantimemeantime,John went to Bernards house，told him their idea，andand invited him to join in.注：同时这个词一定要会写 Clara，while Harry。分工句式：sb did sth，while sb did sth 或者 sb did-4-sth.In meantime，sb did sth。续写要求，动作尽可能的细致拆解动作（并列动作 do.，do.，and do.）；加入适当的补充介词短语、副词。情节发展情节发展：Bernard 接受了邀请。Bernard 感动、感谢，不自信，因为他从来没做过类似的事情。Hearing this idea,Bernard was quite grateful but a little nervous,for he had never done such things before.“We can make it together!”John persuaded him.注：续写要求，加入适当的人物心理活动复杂心理、正反两面；使用人物直接的话语避免对话。Clara、Harry、John 这三个孩子就不需要加入心里活动，因为他三是工具人，最终关注点一定要落到 Bernard这个被帮助的孩子身上。两个动作同时 doing sth，sb did sth；两个动作先后 having done sth，sb did sth结果结果：在母亲的帮助下，四个孩子一起做好了爆米花That morning,with the guidance and encouragement from Meredith,the four kids managed to make deliciouspopcorn eventually.注：成功 manage to do sth，少用 succeed。WithWith everythingeverything ready,ready,BernardBernard startedstarted outout onon hishis newnew business.business.注：这段就需要写 Bernard 这个孩子开始卖爆米花。场景：开始卖爆米花，在街上卖/门口卖总之是个室外的场景节奏：Bernard 在卖爆米花，街上的人都买了他的爆米花，他很感激顺序：at first 最开始、after 然后、in a short while 没过多久把思路转化为英文：把思路转化为英文：概括概括：他们开始卖爆米花了。Followed by the other kids,he walked along the street,holding a sign reading“Popcorn for$1”.注：followed、walked、holding 同时的三个动作。情节发展情节发展：人物心理，人们买 Bernard 卖的爆米花来支持他，最后爆米花卖光了。People were curious at first.After learning the situation,they all took out their wallet and bought one share to support Bernard.In a short while,the popcorn was sold out.注：街上人们的心理活动。用 after 来描述和前面动作的先后顺序。learning、took out、bought、support 动作拆解。In a short while 没过多久，时间顺序，动作结尾，爆米花卖光了。结尾结尾：Bernard 的心理很感动，向帮助过他的人表示感谢。升华主题，写出价值。Bernard was so touched that tears welled up in his eyes.He expressed heartfelt thanks to Meredith and herchildren.-5-FREEFREE 高考读后续写高考读后续写This was a special day for everyone,for they learned that even in the hardest time,there was hope if wehelped each other.注：touched、tears welled up in his eyes 这些都是典型的人物心理描写。expressed heartfelt thanks 表达感谢，也是在描述人物的心理，用了一个动作来描写。这一天对于每个人而言都是特别的，因为他们明白了（套话）写出道理续写要求：续写要求：1、动作尽可能细致拆解动作（提高生动性）2、加入适当的内容补充介词短语、副词、形容词3、加入适当的人物心理活动复杂心理、正反两面4、使用人物直接话语避免对话段落结尾的形式：段落结尾的形式：1、动作结果动作结果：例如“我们完成了清洁工作”2、自身感受自身感受：例如“虽然工作辛苦，但是每个人都很投入”3、他人评价：例如“我们的工作得到了路人的一致赞赏”4、中心主题：例如“我们明白了劳动的价值”（仅限文章结尾）-6-解析 2020 年 7 月浙江卷：ACTACT：背景背景、人物、地点、人物、地点、目标目标拍照（定性危险）拍照（定性危险）One fall,my wife Elli and I had a a singlesingle goalgoal:to photograph polar bears.We were staying at a researchcamp outside“the polar bear capital of the world”the town of Churchill in Manitoba,Canada.Taking pictures of polar bears is amazing butbut alsoalso dangerous.Polar bears like all wild animals shouldbe photographed from a safe distance.When Im face to face with a polar bear,I like it to be through a camerawith a telephoto lens.ButBut sometimes,that is easier said than done.This was one of those times.注：注：开篇交代了 one fall 时间，我和我老婆有一个目标：要去给北极熊拍照。那么开篇提到的这个目标在下文就一定会实现。a research camp 这就是故事发生的地点。but also dangerous 这就是下文要写的，作者在此处就渲染了剧情，像 a safe distance 就是继续在强调。ButBut 转折转折，but 前面的那句话就没那么重要了，that is easier said than done、This was one of those times.这两处就是意在引出下文。读完开篇那就可以想得出，本文主要想讲的就是化险为夷，那么咱们就需要往下多想一步，那就是为什么你遭遇了危险你能脱险？为什么遭遇了危险你能安然无恙？那么结尾必然就是要写脱险，有一个圆满的结尾，那化险为夷的几个元素是什么？下文就可能需要写一些勇敢、智慧、救援、侥幸等。这几种挑容易写的去写。ACTACT：人物、人物之间的关联、故事起因人物、人物之间的关联、故事起因As Elli and I cooked dinner,a young male polar bear who was playing in a nearby lake sniffed,and smelledour garlicgarlic breadbread.The hungry bear followed his nose to our camp,which was surrounded by a high wire fence.He pulledand bit the wire.He stood on his back legs and pushed at the wooden fence posts.注：注：主角都已登场 Elli and I 和 a young male polar bear 三个主角。was playing in a nearby 熊在旁边玩，cooked dinner 我们在做饭，那么这两个事件是怎么产生交集的呢？smelled our garlic bread 这个就是把我们和北极熊连在一起的纽带，那么这在后文就一定要扮演一个重要的角色。sniffed、smelled、followed his nose 这都在说“闻”这件事。our camp 和 a high wire fence 这是故事发生的场景。pulled、bit、stood、pushed 这一系列动作都在说明熊饿了。这第二幕结束了，还没有去叙述危险，那么接下来的一幕就要去写危险了。-7-FREEFREE 高考读后续写高考读后续写ACTACT：遇到问题遇到问题TerrifiedTerrified,Elli and I tried all the bear defense actions we knew.We yelled at the bear,hit pots hard,and fired blank shotgun shells into the air.Sometimes loud noises like these will scare bears off.Not this polarbear though he just kept trying to tear down the fence with his massive paws(爪子).I radioed the campcamp managermanager for help.He told me a helicopter was on its way,butbut it would be 30 minutesbefore it arrived.Making the best of this close encounter(相遇),I took some pictures of the bear.Elli and I feared the fence wouldnt last through 30 more minutes of the bears punishment.The camp managersuggested I use pepper spray.The spray burns the bears eyes,butbut doesnt hurt them.So I approached our uninvitedguest slowly and,through the fence,sprayed him in the face.With an angry roar(吼叫),the bear ran to thelake to wash his eyes.注：注：terrified 这是我们俩的情绪，我们尝试了第一种手段，制造很大的噪音尝试吓跑熊，not this polar bearthough 但是对于这只北极熊没有效果。那么在下文就不要写这个手段了。I radioed the camp manager for help.这是我们所尝试的第二种手段，it would be 30 minutes before it arrived这第二种手段有效，但是需要 30 分钟，不能马上发挥作用。这个手段已经用了，那么等着救援就好了，那么倒数第二段就不要写这种手段了。camp manager 这个人在写最后一段时可以用上。the fence wouldnt last through 30 more minutes 面临的问题，栅栏恐怕撑不了 30 分钟。于是我就用pepper spray，能灼烧熊的眼睛，doesnt hurt them 但是不会伤害到它，喷完后 the bear ran to the lake 熊跑开了。这第三个手段有效，但是明显只是暂时的。A A fewfew minutesminutes later,later,thethe bearbear headedheaded backback to to ourour camp.camp.注：这段就主要得写第四种手段，而且观察一下最后一段开头，就会得知最后还是靠直升飞机救了我们，故而这第四种手段也得是一种暂时的手段，但需要坚持的时间稍长一点。场景：our camp节奏：在这时写人物心理：紧张、害怕、思考如何解决问题突然之间想到办法，灵机一动：联想到第二幕熊饿了，我们在做食物给它吃的东西熊在吃东西的时候，我们就需要去拍照（但是要注意，下一段开头写了一个就在那一刻，那么问题就还没完全解决，总是要设计出来一个“那一刻”的情节）熊吃完了，但是它没吃饱，而且还没有其它食物了我们紧张、害怕、束手无策ps：那么为什么这里不写分工，主要是因为几个人干不同的事情，但目标是一样的，殊途同归，这样才需要去写分工。在这里是在脱险，逃生，这两人是一起脱险的。-8-ACTACT：解决问题解决问题AtAt thatthat veryvery moment,moment,thethe helicopterhelicopter arrivedarrived.注：结局就是脱险了，然后稍带上一点价值，节奏：救援人员是谁？camp manager 和一些其它的人，他们来了以后，他们做了些什么？北极熊怎么样？熊最后跑开了我和我的妻子最后得救了。人物心理，情绪表现我和我的妻子一定是要感谢这些救了我们的人启示、价值、得到经验感悟（写合理的就好，不用去拔高度）eg：大自然很美丽，但是也是有着它自己的凶险，当遇到危险时不要慌，要冷静。（智慧）这篇续写需要写什么：这篇续写需要写什么：1、解决问题解决问题：面对问题时的心理状况负面/正面ps：我们每个人在面对问题时都会有各种各样的负面的心理状况（焦虑、抱怨、懊恼、烦、害怕等），但是负面的心理是不会让我们去分析背后原因的，只有正面的才能去分析问题背后的原因。分析问题背后的原因主观/客观给出合理的解决方案顺理成章/灵感迸发（有灵感的才有故事感）问题解决的心理状况暂时解决/永久解决（这两种心理是不一样的状态）2、最终结果最终结果：自身：自身心理状态，内在转变，所取得的成就、影响、意义他人：感谢帮助、鼓励、支持、建议、批评、肯定价值：贴近故事、远离假大空，务实的主题解析一下范文：解析一下范文：A A fewfew minutesminutes later,later,thethe bearbear headedheaded backback to to ourour camp.camp.Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness.熊的叫声、熊的情绪（陌生词汇问题）The noises turned Elli and I pale with horror.夫妇二人的情绪（词汇陌生的用法）I feared that the giant would destroy our whole fence.我的心理（用 the giant 来比喻熊）He roared repeatedly,shattering what was left of the silence.Elli seized this opportunity to take some pictures of the bear.The animals noises echoed all around us.-9-FREEFREE 高考读后续写高考读后续写We betrayed our feelings by huddling together,shivering with fear.After thoroughly scrutinizing the area,he trotted forward a few steps.这些词要么就是认识，但用不出来；要么根本就不认识。能写出这样的续写，是源自于大量阅读的积累，和大量过往写作思路的积累，想要写出这样的续写，在短期内很难达成。我们希望能尽量的减少学生对于词汇理解的差异，尽量来弥补学生对于词汇掌握的不足，换句话来说，我用不出来这些词，那就讲好故事。我们现在的目标就是用符合学生自身能力的词汇来把故事讲好。