2022年Do I Need To Like Myself--非得喜欢自己吗.doc
Do I Need To Like Myself?|非得喜爱本人吗？Usually, people with a poor self-image use one of two irritating2 strategies3. They either:a) criticize you a lot or b) they criticize themselves a lot.STRATEGY A: They criticize you a lot. They figure4 that by criticizing other people they can feel better about themselves.Lets take Fred, who feels inferior5. Fred thinks he has a big nose and piggy eyes. He also secretly feels a bit stupid.So whats his strategy to feel better about himself? He criticizes all his friends. He has names for them like “Flathead”, “Chicken Legs” and “Dogbrain”. Whenever someone else makes a mistake, he announces it to the whole class. (He probably doesnt even realize he criticizes peopleor why he does it.)If you have parents, friends or brothers and sisters who dont like themselvesthey might criticize you and everyone around them. Just remember that they criticize you because they have a problem. If you remember that they are actually hurting inside, you wont get so upset by their behaviour.STRATEGY B: Some people who dont like themselves criticize themselves a lot. They use reverse6 psychology.Take Mary who doesnt like herself. Shes always telling you, “You are prettier than me. You are smarter. Nobody likes me.” Shes hoping that you will reply, “No Mary! You are clever. You are beautiful.” After a while, people like Mary get on your nerves7!In a nutshell8When we dont like ourselves, we irritate other people. We also put ourselves through a lot of stress. When we accept ourselves a little better, we dont play these games.How Can I Like Myself?In our hearts, most of us believe we should be doing better. We think that we should have gotten higher grades. We want to be popular and hang out with9 the “in”10 crowd. We feel we dont measure up to11 our parents expectations. Our parents help to confirm12 this idea when they ask, “Why cant you be more like your brother?”Whenever you are feeling low, be your own best friend. Accept that, up to now, you have lived your life the best way you know how. No one sets out13 to screw up14 their life! Like anyone, youve done the odd stupid thing. With more information youll likely do better in the future.Liking yourself means forgiving yourself. If you have made some serious mistakes, if you have hurt some peopleand yourselffeeling guilty wont help.If you are feeling guilty about something, you have already suffered enough. Being guilty for another six months wont help anybody.Forget perfection and aim for improvementIts a funny thing. When you forgive yourself for your own mistakes, you automatically15 begin to let others off the hook16 for the same things.“But Im Not Brilliant”You might look at yourself and say, “Im not as beautiful as my sister, Im not as talented as my friends and Im not brilliant at anything! How can I feel good about me?”Fact: Nobody is good at everything and most of us have those thoughts!But heres the lowdown17! Talent and beauty are very usefulbut there are plenty of talented and beautiful people around whom we dont necessarily admire. And some of them are a pan18 in the butt19!The qualities most of us value above all others are honesty, courage, persistence20, generosity21 and humility22. Take a look at this list and youll find something interesting. You arent born with these things. You develop them. Anyone can have them! If you want self-respect, and respect from others, you dont have to be an Einstein or a super-model. You simply work at developing your own honesty, determination, generosity, humility and courage. It is called “character23”. In a nutshellHow you feel about yourself is in your hands.确实如此！不喜爱本人的人非常厌恶！通常，自我感受不好的人会采纳两种策略，要么老是挑剔别人，要么总是挑剔本人。策略一：老是挑剔别人。他们以为挑别人的错就能自我感受良好。比方说弗雷德吧，他就觉得本人不如别人。弗雷德感到本人长了一个大鼻子、两只猪眼睛，还暗自感受脑子有点笨。那他想感受好一点如何办呢？因此就挑所有朋友的缺点，给他们起一些怪名字，什么“平头”啊，“鸡腿”啊，“狗脑”啊等等。每当有人犯错误，他就对全班同学宣布。 （他非常可能压根儿就没认识到在批判别人，或者为什么要这么做。）假如你父母、朋友或兄弟姊妹不喜爱本人，他们可能挑剔你和四周的每一个人。请记住，他们挑剔你是由于他们有咨询题。事实上他们内心有伤痛，记住这一点，你就不会对他们的行为感到特别心烦了。策略二：有些不喜爱本人的人老说本人不好。他们的心理正好相反。拿玛丽来说吧，她就不喜爱本人。她总对别人说，“你比我美丽。你比我聪明。谁都不喜爱我。”她内心事实上希望对方如此答复，“不对，玛丽！你非常聪明，非常美丽。”不用多久，玛丽这种人就会令人生厌。简言之不喜爱本人，就会去烦别人。同时本身也会承受非常大的压力。对本人好一点，就不会去玩那些烦人的把戏了。怎么样才能喜爱本人？内内心，大多数人都认为本人应该比如今强。我们认为考试分数应该再高一些。我们想受人欢迎，跟那些“时髦的”人在一起。我们感到达不到父母的期望。父母也证明了这一点。他们会咨询，“你就不能向你哥哥多学一点？”不管何时你感受不良，你要做本人最亲切的朋友。要承认到目前为止，你是在以你所知的最正确方式生活。谁都不会成心破坏本人的生活。你跟别人一样做了些惊奇而愚蠢的事。你假如明白得多一些，今后就会做得好一些。喜爱本人意味着原谅本人。假如你犯了严峻的错误，假如你损害了别人，损害了本人，内疚是不管用的。假如你为某事感到内疚，你已经遭到了足够的折磨。再内疚半年，对人对己都无济于事。不记得完善，立志改善这是非常有趣的一件事。一旦你原谅本人的过错，就会自动不再追查别人同样的错误。“但是我不非常出色”你也许会将本人审视一番，说，“我没姐姐那么美丽，也没朋友那么聪明，我哪方面都不出色！叫我如何感受良好？”事实是：没有谁是万能的，而且大多数人都有你这种办法。不过真相是如此的！才智和美貌非常有用，但是聪明美丽的人我们并不一定就羡慕，如此的人在我们四周大有人在。再说有些人不过是徒有虚名而已！大多数人最看重的质量是老实、英勇、坚韧、大方和谦逊。只要看看这一串词语，就能发觉一件有趣的事。这些质量不是与生俱来的，是后天培养的。人人都能拥有！想自重并受人尊重，不一定非得是爱因斯坦或超级名模。你只需努力培养本人的老实、坚强、大方、谦逊和英勇就行了。这就叫“品行”。简言之自我感受如何全看你如何把握。=
