Clarkson's Farm《克拉克森的农场（2021）》第二季第八集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

theme music playing 克拉克森的农场第16集冲刺intriguing music凌晨2点a car approaches 没有人会看到我们Kaleb No one's gonna see us?会看到但他们不会知道我们在干什么They will, but they won't know what we're doing.艾伦说我们得开始了Jeremy We've gotta start, Alan says, 从那里开始-是的-from about there.-Kaleb Yeah, the corner.-那个角是吧？-是的Kaleb Yeah.-Jeremy That corner, yeah?-Yeah.我们得打电♥话♥给丽莎 看不见应该朝哪个方向We've gotta call Lisa, because we can't see where we're headed for. Kaleb groans 你好你能开到谷仓Hello, hi.Could you drive over to the barn, 然后掉头把车对着我吗？ and then turn round and point the car at me,-这样我就可以看到前进方向-知道了-and then I can see where I'm headed?-Lisa Gotcha.好的卡莱布能听到吗？ Jeremy All right, K, can you hear me? 好的 Oh, OK. 至于墙面嘛 What we're gonna do with the wall inside, 大家会往墙上刷石灰水 这就完全没有效果了 see, a lot of people just paint it with lime wash.That kills everything.就把天然的石材保留下来 呈现一个干净漂亮的外观 If you leave the natural stone there.-Yeah, exactly.-Give it a good clean finish. 我们要做的工作已经够多了 Jeremy On top of this already lengthy job list, 艾伦还要在厨房♥安装管道 Alan would also have to install and plumb in the kitchen. 所以我没办法给他提供具体日期 So, I was not looking forward to giving him the timetable. 现在我们遇到一个大问题 Now, the big problem we've got 我们必须把这里的事情告诉议会 is that we're going to tell the council that this is happening.我们要在短时间内全部搞定We then need to have it fully operational in. 继续说吧 Yeah, go on.-两天搞定天啊Two days.-Fucking 'ell!-1 know.我知道还记得挑战安妮卡吗？-You remember Challenge Anneka?-Yeah.就像这档节目我们一旦通知他们It'd be a bit like Challenge Anneka. 'Cause as soon as we tell them, 就要赶在他们说出 “这样不行行不通”之前 before they have a chance to come round and say "That's not viable, you can't do it," 我们要说“行得通已经完工了” we have to say, "It is viable, look, we've done it." 是的我明白了 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got ya. 在接下来的十天里这里不能有声响 Jeremy So for the next ten days,I want that site to be dead quiet. 什么都不做-Alan Nothing?-Nothing doing.那封电子邮件一发出去 Jeremy And then as soon as we send the email, we go. 我们就开工 在发送电子邮件之前 我们需要十天时间 Jeremy We needed ten days before sending the email 这样艾伦可以召集建筑匚人 并准备齐全所需的材料so that Alan could round up a workforce and find all the materials.我也需要一些时间I also needed some time to get some pressing farming jobs out of the way, 来解决一些紧迫的农活 比如帮助维克托 like helping Viktor, our Ukrainian bee man, 我们的乌克兰养蜂人 在靠近富含花粉的蓝蓟那儿 build some new hives close to the pollen-rich echium.建造一些新的蜂箱乌克兰？家人还好吗？-他们没事Ukraine? Family OK?Yeah, they're OK.他们挺好的他们还活着这是最重要的Yeah, they're OK.They're alive, that's the main thing. 火箭弹满天飞但他们很坚强 Rockets flying around. but they are toughies. 祈祷他们没事Well, let's keep our fingers crossed. 是的Yeah.bees buzzing 好的别叮我别重我OK.Don't sting me. Don't sting me. 它们得在这里跳摇摆舞对吧？So they'll have to do a waggle dance here, won't they? 只有找到花蜜时它们才会跳舞 Viktor Well, they do waggle dance when they find source of nectar. 所以当蓝蓟生长时 Jeremy Exactly.So when the echium grows, 如果有一只蜜蜂找到了花蜜 what will happen is one of the bees that finds it 它就会返回在蜂巢外跳这个复杂的舞蹈will come back and dothis really complicated little dance outside the hive.这是在告诉同伴蓝蓟离此有多远-Viktor Yeah.-And then that shows the others how far away the echium is and in what direction.在哪个方向对吧？-That's right, isn't it?-Yeah.对看那个-Look at that. Dripping with honey.-Viktor Dripping, yeah. Nice.-滴着蜂蜜-是的很好太棒了不是吗？天啊这些动物真是好样的Jeremy That's stunning, isn't it?生物野兽God, they're good animals.Creatures. Beasts.lively music 然后要应付年检Jeremy Then, there was the annual inspection needed 需要更新我的红色拖拉机证书 to renew my Red Tractor certificate. 这里有一些泄露man I assume we've had a bit of a spillage.-这里需要收拾干净-这是英国标准协会认证方案It's gonna want a sweep-up.Jeremy A quality Kitemark which requires a farm to be clean and well run. 要求农场保持干净运营良好 如果我们可以关上门确保密封这就太好了Right, if we can just close the door up to make sure it seals up, that would be great. 当然Sure.pushes button对不起我按错了按钮Oops, sorry.I pushed the wrong button.pushes button 我真的是按错了按钮pushes buttonI really have pushed the wrong button.Oh?pushes buttonpushes button目前没法帮助你No, can't help youwith that at the moment.你多久检查一次这些牛？man How oftenare you checking the cattle?-检查它们？每天-是的-Jeremy Checking on them?-Yeah.-Every day.-Yeah.-一天两次-对-Twice a day.-Right.不它们每时每刻所在的位置我都知道No, I know where they are at any given moment.奶牛Jeremy Cows?奶牛Cows?它们都在哪里？Where the hell are they all?它们可能喝水去了-They could have gone for a drink.-man Yeah.是的没有Jeremy No.奶牛Jeremy Cows?这实在是太尴尬了-Jeremy This is really embarrassing. -Yep.是的当检查员离开时Jeremy When the inspector left, I wasn't 100% sure 我不是百分百确定自己能否拿到红色拖拉机标贴 I'd get my Red Tractor stickers. 但我拿到了然后第二天 But I did.卡莱布兴致勃勃地来找我 给我带来了更多好消息 And the next day I was collared by an excited Kaleb,who had some more good news.-我给你看点东西-给我看手♥机♥啊 I've got something to show you.Oh, phone. Right.在过去几周里Jeremy For the last few weeks, whenever anyone got their phone out, 只要有人掏出电♥话♥ 我的心就提到了嗓子眼 my heart was in my mouth, 因为我们在拍摄胡椒和这头公牛 because we'd all been on filming duty with Pepper and the bull, 焦急地观察它们能否融洽相处 anxiously watching to see if they'd get it on.丽莎的摄像头到目前为止这头公牛 已经与胡椒进行了初步聊天 So far, the bull had managed a bit of drinks-party chat. 但也仅此而已But that was it.其余时间它都在其它地方溜达 The rest of the time,he was swiping right elsewhere.groans不过我没有放弃希望Nevertheless, I lived in hope.-我有这头公牛的被顷为证-不会吧-I've got a video evidence.-No?-不会吧-它跳到了胡椒身上-Of the bull.-No?Jumping on Pepper.好吧它那是前戏吗？Oh, she's not-No, look, is that foreplay?-公牛上了-然后-Ooh, he's on! He's on!-Ready? And then.-搞定它们开始了-什么？-Done.-What?There you go!-它没有插入吧-它插入了-He never got it in.-He did.如果你需要我可以放大He didn't!I can zoom in on, if you want me to. 它没有插♥进♥去He didn't get it in.看Watch.-前戏结束它开始行动没有插入-插入了Jeremy So, foreplay over.On he goes. Not in, not in.-真的吗？-是的你看-Kaleb In.-Jeremy Is he?Kaleb Yeah, yeah, look at his little hips moving. 你看到最后它小跳了一下吗？ See that little jump at the end?-好吧这是历史上最快的性行为-兔子交♥配♥起来更快 Jeremy Well, that's the fastest sex in history.Kaleb Rabbits are faster, aren't they? 它在胡椒体内♥射♥精了 That was him pumping the good stuff into Pepper.真是个好消息That's good news.He took her virginity.它夺走了胡椒的初次 上周我看见它做了五次 I've seen him serving five in the last week.我看见它做了两次我还以为它不会对胡椒下手呢I've seen him do two.And I just thought,"He's never gonna do Pepper." 我以为它宁可跟狗做也不愿意跟胡椒做Thought he was gonna do the dogs before he did Pepper.这太棒了This is brilliant.soft music星期三7月6 口与艾伦见面之后十天过去了Jeremy Ten days had passed since my meeting with Alan. 今天晚上至理会给议会发送邮件 汇报我们的计划And this evening, Charlie would send an email telling the council of our plans. 然后明天就要疯狂赶工建设餐厅 Then, tomorrow,the frantic restaurant build, 这是我们成功的最后机会 our last chance of success, would begin.要把他放在地上Alan We're gonna lay 'em on the floor, aren't we?艾伦把收集到的材料堆在院子里 Jeremy In the yard,Alan had assembled his materials. 托盘很棒这就是你说的回收利用 Alan The pallets are brilliant, aren't they?That's really what you call recycling, this is.但他仍然对日程表不满意 Jeremy But he was still unhappy about the timetable.我们需要一根魔杖 We need a fucking wand. 什么杖？噢魔法杖 Whose wand?Oh, a magic wand.Well, it was your idea, so.-可这是你的主意所以-是的但我们都觉得Yeah, but we always agreed it was gonna be a couple of weeks, 这需要两周而不是两天 not fucking two days.所以你会来帮我们吗？It's all right!Are you coming up to help us?-会的-我们把托盘抬起来Yeah.Alan Let's get them pallets up. 我会把托盘抬起来Jeremy I'll bring these up.我们早点开始吧Early. Let's have an early kick-off.-什么时候？-大约六点-What time?-About six o'clock.-今天会很辛苦知道吗？-知道-All right.-Long old day. You know what I mean? Yeah.查理的办公室 下午5点30分 我们确认这是一座农业建筑 小于150.好的0K.行了写好了现在发送That's it done. Now. sent it.现在议会知道了Jeremy The council now knows.所以我有48个小时 把低地谷仓变成一家餐馆So I've got 48 hours to turn the Lowland Barn into a restaurant, upbeat music 星期四早上六点 先说重要的 Alan First things first.要在明天把厨房♥搞定 首先要把地板弄好This job, to get this kitchen in tomorrow, depends on getting this floor down. 这样周五早上就可以放厨具了 否则我们完蛋了So the kitchen units can go in Friday morning.Otherwise we're done for, you ain't gonna be open. 该死能听到响亮清楚把她拖过来Yeah, loud and clear.All right, drop her down, then.-那么就瞄准他们的灯是吗？-是的Kaleb Just aim for them lights, yeah?Jeremy Yeah. 行了开动吧！Kaleb All right, go.engine revving 看起来怎么样？Jeremy How's it looking?挺好的Kaleb Yeah, good.慢慢来Slowly, slowly, slowly.酒馆前一天下午我不想在这里大声说话Jeremy I don't wanna talk too loudly in here, 大家都知道隔墙有耳'cause the walls have ears, as we know. 但是我们必须给餐厅供电供水 We've gotta get power and water to the restaurant.问题是如果我们现在出去Yeah.Jeremy The problem is, if we go out now, 挖那个沟会被别人看到的 OK, and dig that trench, people are going to see.不过天黑后如果你看到拖拉机的灯 But after dark,if you just see tractor lights, you're just gonna assume.你会觉得-他是在加班"He's working late.Drilling the-"Jeremy Shit.将用作地板底部的托盘装车后 Jeremy Having loaded up the pallets that would form the base of the floor, 我立即开往餐厅I set off to the restaurant as quickly as possible. 但是到达那里比我想象的要难 But getting there was harder than I thought. 这可不太好 Jeremy Oh well, now, this isn't very good, is it? 我在开拖拉机 但迎面来了一辆公共汽车 Because I'm in a tractor and there's a bus coming. 噢该死Oh shit.理查德韦斯特Jeremy chuckling 真是抱歉Sorry about this! 干得好议会 你们把这里的方方面面都改善了 Sorry! Well done, council.You've really improved everything here. 我相信他们有仔细考虑过这一点Yeah, I'm not sure they've thought this through, upbeat music 用这个拉托盘还真是头回见 That's some tool, ain't it, to bring a few pallets? 小心点别把东西弄坏了 Go careful. Don't break 'em all, then. 好的 worker Yeah. 慢点别弄坏了Steady, so you don't break 'em. 行了站远点儿他总捅娄子你知道的Fucking 'ell. Get out of the way.You know what he's like.都卸下来了吗？是的都拿到了Jeremy Are they all off?Alan Yeah, we got 'em now, haven't we? 我现在要倒车从这儿开出去Jeremy I've gotta back this out of here now.你觉得现在能倒车吗？Alan What do you reckon?Can you reverse round there?我没办法Jeremy I'm not going. Bloody hell.This is gonna be a bit awkward, this.该死这有点尴尬后面.这样不行No, 'cause if I back.No, there's no way.我得从前面出去我得前进不能倒车I've got to go out forward.I've got to go, I can't reverse. 来吧兰博基尼你能转出去的 Come on, Lambo.You can get round here.他肯定不会撞到那根杆子He ain't gonna hit that post, surely?我们打个赌Let's have a wager.刚巧我没碰到那根杆子 Jeremy As it happens,I didn't hit the post. 因为我没能开那么远 -'Cause I didn't get that far.-crashing sound 那是什么？-Alan What's that?-Kaleb Wait. Whoa!等等！停车Ow! Stop!-什么？-该死你看这个What?Kaleb Oh fucking. Look at this.拖车轮子上的轴承缠住了很多电线You've wrapped a load of wire around the bearings of the trailer's wheel.看看你做了什么Just look what you have done.你看看下面的金属部分Kaleb Look at all the metalwork under there.哦天啊-Jeremy Oh shit!-Alan and Kaleb Yeah!-是啊-是啊它们缠在了刹车鼓上Kaleb ,Cause it wrapped round the drum of the brakes and everything. 那里没有金属栅栏Jeremy So there's obviously an old metal fence in there.-A.- -l-Ca -f-之刖有-Alan Yeah, it must have been.-Kaleb Not anymore.-现在没了-没了-It's not a fence now.-Kaleb No.你干吗不等我？-Why didn't you just wait for me?-Where were you?-我想等老实说-我那时在操作装载机-Well, honestly, I would have-Where were you?-我在操作装载机我的天-我被巴士堵住了I was getting the loader.And I almost got stuck'cause the bus was there.Kaleb Fucking hell.艾伦让杰里米来做开始工作Alan, let Jeremy do that.You better get back to work.-你需要回去工作-是的Jeremy Yeah, you do need to get back to work.Yeah, I do, 'cause we're gonna be late.-你为什么不等等？-因为我们没有时间等-Kaleb Why couldn't you just wait?-Because we haven't got time to wait.但我们现在只能处理烂摊子Kaleb Yeah, but now, we're doing this.upbeat music他们禁止我使用任何大型设备Jeremy With me banned from all large equipment. 整个工程终于紧锣密鼓地开展了 the work finally kicked into gear. 干得好Jeremy Lovely job.查理犯起了老♥毛♥病开始打岔了 Jeremy Interrupted only by Charlie.being Charlie.谁有健康和安全政策？Who's got the health and safety policy?对不起他在说什么？Jeremy What are you saying?那个拿刀片的人Charlie The guy with the cutting blade应该多穿戴一些防护装备should really havea bit more protective kit on.比如护目镜防火花装备于套You know, the glasses, sparks, gloves.You know, it's just.这样他每天都这样做Well, he's. Er.He does this every day of his.我该怎么说？What am I supposed to say to him? "Can you wear PPE?" -你能带点个人防护装备吗？ -是的Yes.尽管有人婆婆妈妈地担心 但并没有人断手断脚 Jeremy Despite Mother Hen's 能ars, nobody lost their limbs. 即便如此一天结束后 我们还是大幅落后于计划 But even so, at the end of the day, we were way behind schedule. 我们得在新草皮上铺木板是不是？ Alan We're gonna have to put planks across that new tur£ aren't we? 唯一的好消息是似乎没人 注意到我们在干什么 Jeremy The only good bit of news is that nobody seemed to have noticed what we were up to. 是的我还没收到议会的消息 Jeremy Right.I haven't heard from the council. 非常好So, that's good. 他们是在23小时前 收到我们要在农场中间 And it's been 23 hours since they were informed that they're getting a restaurant out here 开餐馆的消息的 in the middle of our farm. 星期五 lively country music 第二天早上艾伦的团队 一大早就回到了现场 Jeremy The next morning, Alan's team were back at the site bright and early.但我再次缺席But once again, I wasn't.因为当我离开农场院子时Because as I was trying to leave the farmyard, 我得到消息说旧鸡舍出了问题I got news that there were issues at the old hen houses.这里应该有大约50到60只母鸡There should be about 50or maybe 60 hens in here.该死Shit这可不是什么好消息That's not good news. 不是吧还有更多Oh no. More.确切地说是只也没有了Jeremy In fact, there were exactly none. 狐狸根本没办法通过这里A fox can't get through here at all.但貂可以A mink can.我答应你然后当我往车走去.Jeremy Then, as I was heading for my car.一切所有的一切小屋也出问题Everything, everything.丽莎告诉我水压出问题rJeremy Lisa told me there was a problem with the water pressure. 我们可不能没有水We cannot run out of water.The whole prep kitchen's just out there. 厨房♥准备间就在那里水压太低了该死-Oh, that's very, very low.-Jeremy Shit.仪表上关于逆向渗透的压力是多少？man Is there any pressure on the gauge on the RO? 我不知道什么是逆向渗透 也不知道仪表在哪里I don't know what the RO isand I don't know where the gauges are. 我今天会派人过来man Right.I'll get somebody out to you today.我们要开一家餐厅We're opening a restaurant.今天派人不能帮到我们You know, "today" isn't really gonna help us, I don't think. 马上派人会比较好I mean, like "now" would really help.脱什么欧啊如果我们有个波兰人在这里Fucking Brexit.We'd have had a Pole here like-mimics vibration 他会这样一顿操作And he would have done like that.一开始就不会出问题Well, it wouldn't have broken in the first place, would it? 我终于坐进丁车里Jeremy Finally, though, I was in my car 并沿着农场车道前往餐厅and heading down the farm drive to the restaurant site.简直了Jeremy Literally. Look at this.This is. Who are you?这是你是谁？你好我来收取你今天的快递man Hi. I'm collecting from you today. Courier. 那里有人会帮你谢谢Jeremy Somebody up there will sort you out. Thanks. 你是？And you are?磨坊站古董店前来交货Delivering something from Station Mill Antiques. 磨坊站古董？Jeremy Station Mill Antiques?OK, good, thank you. 好的谢谢 你是杰克卡林是为我们工作的 And you're Jack Carling.You're working for us.皮卡车里的这个人是谁？And who's this one in t