【公开课课件】基于学习中心的读后继写“三情－三性”写作指导.pptx

基于学习中心的读后继写“三情三性”写作指导设计理念设计理念 1.1.学习中心课堂课题组初步构建了“两段三单三环节”的模式：具体分为：第一阶段，即“个体自学阶段”，包含第一环节“个体自学”，发放“预习单”。教师针对教学重难点设计并发放“预习单”，学生在课前或课上以个体自学的方式，尽力自主把握知识总体状况、解决个体能独立解决的问题，并暴露和发现个体不能独立解决的问题。第二阶段，即“群体研学阶段”。针对学生个体自学不能解决的问题，组织学生之间围绕“导学单”进行互动研学以解决问题。此阶段包括两个环节，即第二环节“小组互学”，发放“导学单”，主要针对个体问题的小组互学环节;第三环节“全班共学”，发放“拓展单”，主要针对小组问题的全班共学环节。2.读后续写“三情”课题组提出：基于“三情（情境，情节，情感）三性（逻辑性，批判性，创新性）”的“读双线聚三情预结局明修辞润语言用技巧巧书写重反馈”的教学模式。续写语篇：续写语篇：2017年浙江6月高考真题 （高三年10月月考试试题）学情分析：学情分析：本次授课班级为高三（7）班，理科实验班。经过一学期的写作训练，学生已经对该写作模式有了一定的感悟。2021年5月的区级公开课（Charlottes Web 第一章节续写）侧重在该模式中对学生过程性写作的指导，本次授课侧重于引导学生利用元认知策略，以评促学。教材和学情分析教材和学情分析 课前，教师通过发放“预习单”，通过问题链的设计引导学生从“读双线-聚三情-预结局”出发，初步构建语篇框架，梳理基本信息，并合理推测四个续写点。教师通过师生前序教学共同制定的量化评价表引导学生进行课堂展示，并通过自评和他评发掘学生中的亮点，发现个体自学中的问题。课上，教师通过引导学生进行小组研讨，分享个性问题，归纳总结共性问题，从“明修辞-润语言-用技巧”出发，针对共性问题根据“最近发展区”理论选出最 适宜本组提升的续写范文。学生通过小组展示促使思维外显，巧用元认知策略调控学习。最 后，教师通过发放“拓展单”，通过聚焦“逻辑性思维、批判性思维、创新性思维”的量化表，引导学生关注“巧书写-重反馈”，在“发现问题-分析问题-解决问题”的过程中，以评 促学，获得发展。课堂上，教师通过“小组互学”和“全班共学”等活动环节将“输入”与“输出”融合交互进行，强调突出了“学生为主体，教师为主导”以及“深度学习”的教育理念。教学流程说明教学流程说明 学生小组展示学生小组展示 G1G1Story mountainPredict the 4 points明修辞润语言用技巧Mac and the other two cyclistsThe characters in the storyThe characters in the storyPaul and Beeky，drove their carwolf人物介绍先个体自学阶段个体自学阶段个体自学阶段个体自学阶段Who:Mac,two cyclists,Paul and Beeky,wolf When:On a bright,warm July afternoonWhat：Mac cycled from his home to Alaska with his friends.Mac rode alone because his friends had to repair his bikeMac met a wolf.Paul and Beeky drove by.The story The story Whats going on?Did they save Mac?How to save?How would they deal with the wolf?kill?How about the two cyclists?What did Mac think?Lets think about what will happen!Lets think about what will happen!Mac cycled to Alaska with two friends.Two friends fell behind because they had to repair the bike.Mac pedaled alone and met a wolf.Mac used bear spray to scare the wolf twice,but the wolf still chased after it.Paul and Beeky noticed the danger.Story MountainStory Mountain?PredictPredict the 4 the 4 pointpoints s预测续写点预测续写点The car abruptly stopped in front of the him.Point1:Paul and Beeky helped Mac and Mac got into their car.Point2:The Wolf attacked the car but found it useless and left angrily.A few minutes later,the other two cyclists arrival.Point3:They asked Mac what had happened,and Mac told them the narrow escape.Point4:They thanked Paul and Beeky and left safely.群体研学阶段群体研学阶段群体研学阶段群体研学阶段明修辞明修辞明修辞明修辞情节：escape from the wolf情感：scared vs relivedSimilie:(明喻）Metaphor:(暗喻）Exaggeration:(夸张）Repetition:(反复）Personification:(拟人）The wolf was like a hungry monster chasing closely.Looking at the net of the wolfs mouth,Mac kept moving into the car.At the moment,Mac really had his heart in his mouth.Five yards,four yards,three yards.Mac could feel the tumping of his heart against his chest and sweat drench his clothes.The wolf caught up and its murderous look and bloody mouth seemed to tell Macs fate.润语言润语言润语言润语言How to drive the wolf away?Fire the sprayMake loud noises.Non-predicate Non-predicate：非谓语非谓语Advanced expressionTo drive the wolf away,he fired the spray at the wolf.We kept knocking the car horn to make the sound of a whistle which was noisy to drive it away.Inversion:倒装句Scared to death as he was,Mac struggled to crawl up and threw his bicycle at the wolf with all his strength.The subjunctive mood:虚拟语气It was necessary that we should make a loud noise to drive the wolf away.The attributive clause:定语从句用技巧用技巧用技巧用技巧（1 1）多）多round round 1.Mac tried to get on the car,but the wolf still chased him.2.They threw a piece of meat to the wolf,Mac got on the car.3.The wolf chased the car.They fired the bear spray at the wolf again.(2)how to say(2)how to say 1.yelled2.shouted in a loud voice3.Paul said to Beeky anxiously1.said gratefully2.said with a smile during the rescueafterthe rescue(3)Action chain1.At that moment,Mac seized the chance and jumped off his bicycle to the back door of the car.2.The wolf caught up,roaring with anger and hitting the car window.(4)Sensory details1.Seeing the wolf got closer,they had butterflies in their stomach.2.Hearing the voice of the wolf,their tightened,with their eyes full of horror.Human and natureHuman and humanwolf and human选文体现：“No！dont do that!It is also a life.Just.”Mac and cyclists/Mac and Paul,Beeky选文体现：“He had a deep gratitude to Paul and Beeky.”升华！ThanksThanks！G32017年浙江6月读后续写 Cycle to Alaska学习(人与社会）Macs friend stopped to repair his bike,so Mac started riding alonePedaled alone Saved by two passers-byChased by wolvesMac a man met a fierce wolf when he was riding.He was chased by the wolf.Mac drove the wolf away with a wolf spray,but the wolf pursued it.Pual and Beeky drove to Alaska and happened to meet Mac chased by wolves,so they saved Mac.Finally have a ralax journey.At first,who did what?Why did Mac cycle alone?When Mac found it was a wolf,how many times did he try to save himself?Mac reach an agreement with friends to go to Alaska.“One of his friends had stopped to make a bicycle repair,but they had encouraged Mac to carry on.”一、个体自学阶段一、个体自学阶段twice“With one hand on the bars,he fired the spray at the wolf.”“He fired at the wolf a second time.”“.it fell back,shaking its head.But a minute later,it was by his side again.”StorymountainMac reach an agreement with friends to go to AlaskaMac meets wolf Wolf chase Mac，Paul and Beeky save MacMac tell his friendswhat happenedThanks to Paul and beekyhappyfearscaredshockedgrateful Point2:The action of the wolf/Mac action after safety.2.2.根据所给句子预测续写点根据所给句子预测续写点What would you write in para1?The car abruptly stopped in front of him Point1:Macs action and expression before getting in the car.Paul and Beeky saw the wolf(五感五感)What may they do?What may Mac do?What may Mac,Paul and Beeky do?How did the wolf react?Did the wolf leave in para 1?What would you write in para2?A few minutes later,the other two cyclists arrived.Point3:Macs bicycle lying on the road.(what they see)Point4:Be grateful to Paul and Beeky.Did the wolf still chase them?What did the two cyclists see/think(feelings)/saw/do(action chain)?What is the ending/theme?二二.群体研学阶段群体研学阶段1.明修辞：情节是（名词）action、（动词）escape、（名词）car and bicycle ,情感 fright VS relief 可用的修辞可能有：可用的修辞可能有：Simile（明喻，有（明喻，有like)：The fierce wolf opened his bloody mouth.The teeth in the wolfs mouth were like a sharp dagger,which made people afraidMetaphor(暗喻，无暗喻，无like）：Macs heart panicked,his hands trembled,and his goose bumps were as big as goose eggsExaggeration（夸张）（夸张）：The wolf was so angry that he was about to swallow the carRepetition（反复）（反复）：Mac runs to the car and opens the car,the wolf chases the car and bites the doorPersonification（拟人）（拟人）：Mac didnt dare to take a step,and time held his breath,as if they were waiting for a chance to be rescued 2.2.润语言润语言文章中可以用到的照应点文章中可以用到的照应点(1)How to drive the wolf away?(2)Mac has hear spray .高级表达高级表达(1)非谓语非谓语(non-predicate)Thinking of the wolfs bloody mouth,Mac was nearly dead with fright.(2)定语从句定语从句(the attributive clause)he could even imagine the wolfs teeth that would tearinto his flesh.(3)倒装句倒装句(Inversion)So angry was the wolf that it kept roaring and smacking the window violently.(4)虚拟语气虚拟语气(the Subjunction Mood)without their timely help,Id have ended up in the wolfsstomach!多轮场景多轮场景（Multiple rounds of scene）：）：Without any hesitation,Mac jumped off his bicycle and dashed to the back door of the car.It was locked!Just at that moment,the door was unlocked by Becky and the frightened man dived in,shutting the door just before the wolf pounced on him3.用技巧用技巧 人物语言人物语言（character language）：）：“Come on，get in the car quickly!”Paul yelled.Paul shouted at Mac“Get in the car quickly!”they couldnt help crying out,“What a narrow escape!”they couldnt help crying out,“What a narrow escape!”Mac pulled over and cried.“The rest of the trip was amazing,but I had to let that emotion out.”Sensory details：Feeling two strong creatures approaching,the wolf hesitated.Angry but painful,the wolf had to step back,growling and glaring at Mac angrily.While he really didnt want to mess up the sure thing,eventually he turned back unwillingly and disappeared into the woods.They were surprised to find Macs bicycle lying on the road,his tent bag torn and Mac just like a drowned mouse.Action chain：Without any hesitation,Mac jumped off his bicycle and dashed to the back door of the car.Mac struggled to crawl up and threw his bicycle at the wolf with all his strength.Meanwhile,Paul tried honking the horn loudly to scare it away.Mac held his breath,daring not to make a movement.*.*()/.*(.(最佳范文：最佳范文：Version1优优：这篇习作描写较为细致，文气较为通畅，语言面貌总体相当不错，较好的完成了交际任务。习作故事情节设计合理，逻辑性强，与短文融洽度高人物行为与场景描述细腻，同时穿插心理描绘，有动有静，有声有色，有较强表现力的细节描述性语言！Cycle to AlaskaG4目录3 明修辞5 story mountain2 续写点预测1 story mountain4 语言润色1story mountainGo to Alsake by bikeMac Hollan,a primary school teacher,was cycling from his home to Alaska with his friendsMac rode off by himself and he met the wolfOne of his friends had stopped to make a bicycle repair,but they had encouraged Mac to carry on,and they would catch up with him soonThe wolf chased Mac and Paul and Beeky worked to save himA wolf,quickly catching up with him;It attacked the back of Macs bike,tearing open his tent bagPaul and Beeky were driving their car on their way to AlaskaThe car abruptly stopped in front of himHis friends appearedSuccessful rescueEveryone burst into a light sweet smile2续写点预测续写点预测01What will Paul and beeky do with the wolf 02How would the wolf react03Did the wolf leave in part1？If not,what about part204Did his friends arrive before the wolf left05What do they do when they are rescued06Will they leave together in the endPoint 13明修辞明修辞1.Macs heart jumped2.Mac could feel the thumping of his heart against his chest and sweat drench his clothes1.Mac hugged all of them and said thanks again and again2.He had a deep gratitude to Paul and BeekyFearFearAppreciateAppreciate2save people4End3appreciate1.Five people go to Alaska together2.Mac and his friend are separated from pul1catch a wolf情节4语言润色语言润色03The wolfs teeth would be tearing into his flesh04spray01He thought fondly of his wife and two young daughters at home02Bicycle and car照照应点点虚拟LOREM IPSUM DOLOR名句Had it not been for,I wont be able to leave非谓倒装定从A friend in need is a friend in deedThinking of the wolfs bloody mouth,Mac was nearly dead with frightThere rose a red sun over the hills,we set out of AlaskaWhile he really didnt want to mess up the sure thing,eventually he turned back unwillingly and disappeared into the woodsLOREM IPSUM DOLOR主题类别：人与自然SaveSaveSaveSave中心思想：升华评评 语法无大错误。字数符合要求。上下文衔接得当。能运用修辞与名句。语法无大错误。字数符合要求。上下文衔接得当。能运用修辞与名句。高级句式较少，语言较为平实，重点部分笔墨不多，高潮感觉不明显。高级句式较少，语言较为平实，重点部分笔墨不多，高潮感觉不明显。The car abruptly stopped in front of him.The window of the car was down.Paul put his head out and yelled,”Come on!Guy!”Suddenly,the door was open.Without second thinking,Mac used out of his last energy running into the car while the wolf was also catching up with him.As Mac came into the car,Paul and Beeky drove the car faster.But wherever they drove,the wolf was like a hungry monster chasing closely.(比喻)“Can we drive to kill the wolf?It looks like it wont give up!”“No,dont do that!It is also a life.Just drive away and dont stop.It will be tired some time.”Mac said with a deep breath.Just as what Mac said,the wolf stopped after a while.And they found a place to have a rest.A few minutes later,the other two cyclists arrived.They were surprised as they saw Mac sat under a tree,frightened.“Mac!”They went off the bike and ran towards Mac.“Whats wrong?Are you OK?”“Just narrowly escaped from a wolf!”Mac looked at his friends and told hem what had happened.He had a deep gratitude to Paul and Beeky.Hearing the story,Macks friends felt sorry and promised,“We will never leave you alone,Mac.We will always get together!”Mac smiled,“Of course,we will always be together!”A friend in need is a friend in deed!范文张珍琪感谢