Unit6Travel (3).pptx
How to polish our How to polish our writingwritingsurpriseBrainstormWhats a surprise?A surprise is the astonishment you feel when something totally unexpected happens to you.surpriseBrainstormWhats a surprise?我们生活中充满了惊喜，也许是你的一位好朋友，我们生活中充满了惊喜，也许是你的一位好朋友，因为一件事或者一个改变给了你惊喜，也许是一次因为一件事或者一个改变给了你惊喜，也许是一次前往陌生城市的旅行，带给你不一样的惊喜，又或前往陌生城市的旅行，带给你不一样的惊喜，又或者，当你读到一本好书，看到一部精彩的电影，因者，当你读到一本好书，看到一部精彩的电影，因为作品的与众不同使你惊喜不已，请你结合自己的为作品的与众不同使你惊喜不已，请你结合自己的生活经历，和大家分享一下属于你的惊喜。生活经历，和大家分享一下属于你的惊喜。I.Examine the topic(审题)_ gave me a big surprise一位好朋友一位好朋友一个改变一个改变一次一次一本好书一本好书一部精彩的电影一部精彩的电影一件事一件事前往陌生城市的旅行前往陌生城市的旅行一位好朋友一位好朋友一件事一件事my fathermy grandmothermy teacher._ gave me a big surpriseI.Examine the topic(审题)一本好书一本好书一个改变一个改变一部精彩的电影一部精彩的电影一次前往陌生城市的旅行一次前往陌生城市的旅行doing sth.sb.sth.sb./(doing)sth.Judge if the titles are properMy mother gave me a big surpriseBeijing gave me a big surpriseA film gave me a big surpriseI.Examine the topic(审题)My hardworking gave me a big surpriseShanghai gave me a big surpriseHelp others gave me a big surpriseA trip to Beijing.My hard work.A trip to the Bund.Helping others.Tip1:The title should be grammatically right.（题目无目无语法法错误）I.Examine the topic(审题)_ gave me a big surprise1.Choose the type of the text.A.Narrativewriting（记叙文）B.Argumentativewriting（议论文）C.Practicalwriting（应用文）D.Expositorywriting（说明文）2.Choose the proper tense.A.Simplepresenttense（一般现在时）B.Simplepasttense（一般过去时）C.Simplefuturetense（一般将来时）Tip2:Determinethetypeofthetext(文体)andusethepropertense.Tip3:Cover the five elements._ gave me a big surpriseWho Where When II.Make the outline(建立框架)What happened Narrative writingbeginningbodyendingHow“I”felt(What“I”learned)a big surprise1.IpaidavisittoYuGarden.Weate,weplayedandhadfun.2.Myfriendgavemeasurprisingbirthdaypresent-myfavoritebook.3.IsawafilmcalledWonder.Theherowaslaughedatforhisuglyface.However,hewasnotsadandmademorefriendsatlast.Ishouldnotjudgeapersonbyhisappearance.4.IsawthefilmWonder.Iwassurprisedattheherosstrongwillanddetermination.Hewasnotashamedofhisuglyfaceorafraidofotherslaughter.III.Task 1:choose proper writing materials5.Iwasnotgoodatmaths,butonceIgotahighmarkevenhigherthanmyfriendwhowasgoodatit.Thissurprisedme.Ilearneditwasmyhardworkthatmademesucceed.6.Duringtherunningrace,Ifeltexhaustedandwantedtogiveup.MyfriendsaroundencouragedmeandIfinallycrossedthelineandwontherace.7.MyfriendSusanishelpfulandfriendly.Shealsoworkshard.Shemakesmesurprised.III.Choose proper writing materialsAbig surpriseAItwasmybirthdaylastMonday.MyfriendSandygavemeapresent-oneofmyfavoritebooks.WhenIsawit,Iwasveryexcited.Whatabigsurpriseshegaveme!III.Task 2:read and compareBOnthemorningofmy12thbirthday,nobodysaidhappybirthdaytome.IfeltverysadbecauseIthoughttheyforgotmybirthday.WhenIreturnedhomeintheevening,abirthdaycakewaswaitingforme.Iwassomoved.Whatabigsurprise!III.Choose writing materialsB.Onthemorningofmy12thbirthday,nobodysaidhappybirthdaytome.IfeltverysadbecauseIthoughttheyforgotmybirthday.WhenIreturnedhomeintheevening,abirthdaycakewaswaitingforme.Iwassomoved.Whatabigsurprise!1.Whathappenedfirst?Nobody said happy birthday to him.2.Howdidhefeel?Why?He felt sad because he thought they forgot his birthday.3.Whathappenednext?A birthday cake was waiting for him.4.Howdidhefeel?He felt moved.a surprising bodychange of feelingsTip4:Design a surprising body with the change of“my”feelings.Tips:1.Arighttitle2.PropertypeoftextandtenseWhat we should doI.Examine the topic.II.Make the outline.III.Choose writing materials.Steps:Tips:3.FiveelementsTips:4.Asurprisingbodyandchangeoffeelings1.Misusing of collocation(搭配错误)twoIt was one of the biggest city in the world.It was the first time climbing Mount Tai.Finally,we arrived the top of the mountain.Correct errors citiesto climbatI learned from many things in travelling.learn sth.from sth.I learned many things from travelling.Tips:关注名关注名词单复数，不定式的使复数，不定式的使用，用，动词结构构.2.Misusing of tense(时态错用)twoI thought its boring.Because I thought everyone was forget it.I take a cable car to the top of the hill.Correct errors it wasforgotI thought I will have no birthday party.tookwouldTips:关注一般关注一般过去去时的的结构；复合构；复合句中的句中的时态使用原使用原则.3.Misusing of Chinglish(中式英语)twoLast Sunday was my birthday.I was not very good at maths.I went to take a plane to Australia.Correct errors It was my birthday last Sunday.I was not good at maths at all.I took a plane to Australia.I went to Australia by plane/by air.I flew to Australia.Tips:天气、星期天气、星期应用用it指代，做句指代，做句子的主子的主语.4.Misusing of words(词类错用)twoHe has made a lot of friends at last because of his kind.Correct errors kindnessTips:关注关注词性、拼写、大小写是否正确性、拼写、大小写是否正确.MybestfriendgavemeasurpriseApril21stwasmybirthday.Beforetheday,Ididnttellanybodyelse,soIthoughtonlymyparentswillcelebrateitforme.ButIwaswrong.WhenIwalkedintoclassroomonthatmorning,myfriendsuddenlyknockeddownme.Atfirst,Iwasalittleangry.AssoonasIstoodup,mybestfriendshowedmeabigcakeandsingabirthdaysongforme.Afterthat,wesharedthecakewithmyclassmates.Ireallyhadagoodtimethatday.Mybestfriendgavemeabigsurprise.Task 3:lets evaluate 1.标题是否是否语法正确法正确?YESMybestfriendgavemeasurpriseApril21stwasmybirthday.Beforetheday,Ididnttellanybodyelse,soIthoughtonlymyparentswillcelebrateitforme.ButIwaswrong.WhenIwalkedintoclassroomonthatmorning,myfriendsuddenlyknockeddownme.Atfirst,Iwasalittleangry.AssoonasIstoodup,mybestfriendshowedmeabigcakeandsingabirthdaysongforme.Afterthat,wesharedthecakewithmyclassmates.Ireallyhadagoodtimethatday.Mybestfriendgavemeabigsurprise.Lets evaluate 2.情情节是否有起伏是否有起伏?YESMybestfriendgavemeasurpriseApril21stwasmybirthday.Beforetheday,Ididnttellanybodyelse,soIthoughtonlymyparentswillcelebrateitforme.ButIwaswrong.When I walked into classroom that morning,my friend suddenlyknocked down me.At first,I was a little angry.As soon as I stood up,my best friend showed me a big cake and sing a birthday song for me.After that,we shared the cake with my classmates.Ireallyhadagoodtimethatday.Mybestfriendgavemeabigsurprise.3.Body是否按是否按时间顺序叙述了事件序叙述了事件经过?Lets evaluate YESLets evaluate MybestfriendgavemeasurpriseApril21stwasmybirthday.Beforetheday,Ididnttellanybodyelse,soIthoughtonlymyparentswillcelebrateitforme.ButIwaswrong.When I walked into classroom that morning,my friend suddenly knocked down me.At first,I was a little angry.As soon as I stood up,my best friend showed me a big cake and sing a birthday song for me.After that,we shared the cake with my classmates.Ireallyhadagoodtimethatday.Mybestfriendgavemeabigsurprise.4.Body 部分是否有情部分是否有情绪的的变化？化？NOMybestfriendgavemeasurpriseApril21stwasmybirthday.Beforetheday,Ididnttellanybodyelse,soIthoughtonlymyparentswillcelebrateitforme.ButIwaswrong.WhenIwalkedintoclassroomonthatmorning,myfriendsuddenlyknockeddownme.Atfirst,Iwasalittleangry.AssoonasIstoodup,mybestfriendshowedmeabigcakeandsingabirthdaysongforme.Afterthat,wesharedthecakewithmyclassmates.Ireallyhadagoodtimethatday.Mybestfriendgavemeabigsurprise.Lets evaluate 5.是否有搭配是否有搭配错误（如（如单复数、不定式、复数、不定式、动词短短语等）等）?YESknockedmedownMybestfriendgavemeasurpriseApril21stwasmybirthday.Beforetheday,Ididnttellanybodyelse,soIthoughtonlymyparentswillcelebrateitforme.ButIwaswrong.WhenIwalkedintoclassroomonthatmorning,myfriendsuddenlyknockeddownme.Atfirst,Iwasalittleangry.AssoonasIstoodup,mybestfriendshowedmeabigcakeandsingabirthdaysongforme.Afterthat,wesharedthecakewithmyclassmates.Ireallyhadagoodtimethatday.Mybestfriendgavemeabigsurprise.Lets evaluate 6.是否有是否有时态错误时态错误（如（如时态结时态结构，复合句构，复合句时时态态的使用）的使用）?YESknockedmedownwouldsangMybestfriendgavemeasurpriseApril21stwasmybirthday.Beforetheday,Ididnttellanybodyelse,soIthoughtonlymyparentswillcelebrateitforme.ButIwaswrong.WhenIwalkedintoclassroomonthatmorning,myfriendsuddenlyknockeddownme.Atfirst,Iwasalittleangry.AssoonasIstoodup,mybestfriendshowedmeabigcakeandsingabirthdaysongforme.Afterthat,wesharedthecakewithmyclassmates.Ireallyhadagoodtimethatday.Mybestfriendgavemeabigsurprise.Lets evaluate 7.是否有中式英是否有中式英语语（如星期、天气不能做主（如星期、天气不能做主语语）?YESknockedmedownwouldMybirthdaywasonApril21st.sangMybestfriendgavemeasurpriseApril21stwasmybirthday.Beforetheday,Ididnttellanybodyelse,soIthoughtonlymyparentswillcelebrateitforme.ButIwaswrong.WhenIwalkedintoclassroomonthatmorning,myfriendsuddenlyknockeddownme.Atfirst,Iwasalittleangry.AssoonasIstoodup,mybestfriendshowedmeabigcakeandsingabirthdaysongforme.Afterthat,wesharedthecakewithmyclassmates.Ireallyhadagoodtimethatday.Mybestfriendgavemeabigsurprise.Lets evaluate 8.是否有是否有词类错误词类错误（如（如词词性性、拼写、大小写、拼写、大小写）?NOknockedmedownwouldMybirthdaywasonApril21st.sangMybestfriendgavemeasurpriseApril21stwasmybirthday.Beforetheday,Ididnttellanybodyelse,soIthoughtonlymyparentswillcelebrateitforme.ButIwaswrong.WhenIwalkedintoclassroomthatmorning,myfriendsuddenlyknockeddownme.Atfirst,Iwasalittleangry.AssoonasIstoodup,mybestfriendshowedmeabigcakeandsingabirthdaysongforme.Afterthat,wesharedthecakewithmyclassmates.I really had a good time that day.My best friend gave me a big surprise.9.除了惊喜，结尾是否总结了作者其他的体会与收获？Lets evaluate Lets evaluate Checklist Checklist（作文检查对照表）（作文检查对照表）Yes/NoYes/No内容内容1.标题是否语法正确?YES YES2.情节是否有起伏?YES YES3.Body 部分是否按时间顺序叙述了事件的经过?YES YES4.Body 部分是否有情绪的变化?NONO语言语言5.是否有搭配错误（如单复数、不定式、动词结构等）?YES YES6.是否有时态错误（如时态结构，复合句时态的使用）?YES YES7.是否有中式英语（如星期、天气不能做主语）?YES YES8.是否有词类错误（如词性）?NONO结构结构9.除了惊喜，结尾处是否还有作者其他的收获?NONOSuggestions:1.Add changes of feelings.2.Correct errors.3.Add what I learned.My friend gave me a big surprise1.Peer-evaluateaccordingtothechecklist.(同伴互评)2.Rewritethearticleaccordingtotheevaluation.(根据评价重写作文)3.ShareyourwritingPolish your writing_ gave me a big surpriseHomework1.Polishthewriting.2.Readtheotherstudentswritingandevaluate.Practice makes perfect!
