读后续写：亲情类--一个美丽的胸针讲义 高三英语写作专项.docx

阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。In 1945, a 12-year-old boy Reuben saw a beautiful brooch (胸针) in a shop window that set his heart racing. But the price-five dollars - was too much for Reuben. Five dollars would buy almost a week's groceries for his family.Reuben couldn't ask his father for the money. Everything his father made through fishing went to his mother, Dora. Slim and beautiful, she was the center of the home, the glue that held it together. The housework was never-ending, and she struggled to feed and clothe their five children but she was happy as her family and their well-being were all she cared about.Nevertheless, he opened the shop's weathered door and went inside. Standing proud and straight in his flour-sack shirt and washed-out trousers, he told the shopkeeper what he wanted, adding, “But I don't have the money right now. Can you please hold it for me for some time?”“I'll try,”the shopkeeper smiled.“Folks around here don't usually have that kind of money to spend on things. It should keep for a while.”Reuben respectfully touched his worn cap and walked out. He would raise the money and not tell anybody for he thought Mum would get surprised when she saw that brooch. On hearing the sound of hammering from a side street, Reuben suddenly had an idea that he could raise money by selling the used nail bags. People built their own homes in Bay Roberts, using nails purchased in bags from a local factory. Sometimes the used bags were thrown away at the construction site, and Reuben knew he could sell them back to the factory for five cents a piece. 注意：1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；That day he sold two bags,and hid the money in a rusty soda tin.Paragraph 1: Every day after school Reuben started his plan.  _.                                                           Paragraph 2:Finally the time came!_.文本分析所提供故事情节中存在几个冲突，愿望与现实、礼物与贫穷等之间的冲突。上述两个冲突也直接导致了问题的产生How was he to raise the money 和 Could he make it, 这些问题产生后，必须有个解决方案 Reuben resolved to raise the money for the brooch by ，解决方案就是续写部分的主要内容之一。背景分析故事发生在1945年，是第二次世界大战和大萧条之后，那时候的世界经过二战，满目苍夷，百废待兴，人们对未来生活寄予很大期望。文章大意：12岁的男孩子Reuben想买一个胸针给母亲Dora, 至于为什么是买胸针而不是其他东西，比如说家里那时最需要的食品等等，这一点可以从所给文本的内容进行合理挖掘和想象，如果买食品，故事将变得有点“庸俗”，与故事的整个基调不符。胸针是装饰品，表达人们对未来美好生活的憧憬；胸针是高雅之物，和苗条美丽的母亲正好般配；胸针也象征着儿子对母亲的纯洁深情的爱等等人物分析儿子Reuben很爱母亲Dora, 很想送胸针给母亲。家里很穷，但Reuben被母亲教育得很好，有礼貌、聪明、感恩，最重要的是有使命感等等。母亲Dora身材苗条，很漂亮，是全家七个人的中心，是家庭的“粘合剂”，她辛苦操持永远都做不完的家务，对家庭全情投入，让孩子身心健康。可见，这位母亲在家里的地位极高。确定续写的方向和内容 故事发生在1945年，Reuben看到商店橱窗里的胸针心跳加速，那么赠送礼物给母亲大概是什么场合呢？极有可能是母亲节或者是Dora的生日那天。所提供的文本主要聚焦于Reuben和母亲Dora，父亲和另四个孩子没有正面描述，只是一晃而过；原文对shopkeeper有所描述，但不应该成为续写的主要人物，顶多在Reuben攒够了钱回来购买胸针的时候提到，因此在续写的两个段落中，故事也应该主要是在前两者之间展开。续写第一段该写什么？所给的句子Every day after school Reuben started his plan必须是该段的主题句，此外，它还应该承接上一段的That day he sold two bags, and hid the money in a rusty soda tin，所给句子起到承上启下的功能，可以做出判断，该段应该写Reuben每天放学后如何捡袋子积攒买礼物的钱How did Reuben collect bags and sell them for money。捡袋子期间Rueben可能经历了不少艰辛，如又饿又累，又冷又饿之类的，但他始终不改初衷，目标坚定。为了捡袋子，有可能经常晚回家，以他妈妈的的个性，应该是没有丝毫责备，更不会骂他，只有关心和怜爱。也许，母亲Dora会问儿子Rueben为什么总是那么晚回家，他得找借口told white lies。不管怎样，续写第一段的最后一句话必须和第二段所给出的句子Finally the time came!进行对接，故事情节上要体现出高度的融合性。续写的第二段又该怎么写呢？对于第一句Finally the time came!不同的考生可能会有不同的解读，是Reuben将钱从罐子里面倒出来的时候？还是他拿着钱来到商店购买向往已久的胸针的时候？还是他把胸针赠送给妈妈的感人时候？如果第一个假设成立，那么第二段必须要交代的情节包括：拿着钱去找shopkeeper购买胸针、怀揣胸针回家、将胸针赠送给妈妈、母亲拿到胸针后很感动、母亲怀拥儿子的温馨场面等。显然，如果采纳第一个假设，所要交代的合理情节最少有六个，太多，因此，故事描写要干练！由此类推第二个和第三个假设，要描述的合理情节分别是五个和四个，因此，采纳任何一种假设都是可以的，情节多的描写就干练一些，情节少的描述就细致一些，结尾部分既要与所提供的故事开头遥相呼应，又要凸显主题“爱”、“使命感”，升华其精神。从上面的种种分析可以预测，多数考生所写的故事情节不太可能出现跑偏现象，考生间的差距在于想象力和语言表达能力之间的差距。总结深度分析和挖掘故事不仅能够确立整个故事的主题，更能决定续写部分的情节发展方向不会产生偏离。续写故事的第一段所给句子是该段的中心句，也连接了上文，该段最后一句话必须和续写第二段所给句子进行对接；续写第二段所给的开头句是该段的主题句，最后一句话呼应所提供文本的开头和主题。这样，续写部分的情节与原故事情节的融洽度才能高度一致。学科网（北京）股份有限公司