读后续写THENOTE讲义-2023届高三英语写作专项.docx

The NoteMy best friend Lisa and I carefully wrote our words with a No. 2 pencil. We took turns writing down the sentences. nDear Miss Hanley,n we wrote, Hyou like Kathleen better than you like us. That isn't fair." Miss Hanley was our fourth-grade teacher. She was in her 20s, with short, dark, curly hair and lively grey eyes. It was her first-year teaching in our public school in the northeast Bronx.“You're a very talented writer/ didn't envy Lisa's relationship with Miss Hanley. Sharing Miss Hanley was a bond between us. In Miss Hanley's class, we behaved ourselves, although we couldn't help comparing ourselves with Kathleen, whose demeanor （风度）and dress were perfect. Kathleen lived in her family's big house with a beautiful garden. Lisa and I lived in small apartments. Her eyes were as huge as those of most Miss Hanley often told me. This excited me. A few weeks into this school year, Lisa and I had co-authored a play based on our favorite novel, Little Women. And we performed the play in front of the class. When the curtain came down, the applause from the students was light. But Miss Hanley clapped strongly, saying, "Great! Great!" Lisa and I ignored the other kids, and were high on her praise for days.film stars. She spoke softly and politely. Her hair was waved, clean and tidy. My hair was loose and wild. Lisa and I wore clothes that didn't always match. I sometimes wore my sister's hand-me-downs. Kathleen did best in her studies and of course Miss Hanley liked her. The funny thing is that I didn't like Kathleen and neither did Lisa. In fact we didn't know why.Lisa and I continued writing our note to Miss Hanley, nYou call on Kathleen more than you call on us. You like her because she is a goody-goody（讨好卖乖的人）.That's not fair! Just that we are not goody-goodies does not mean you should like us less.”注意：1 .所续写短文的词数应为150词左右；2 .应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语；3 .续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语已为你写好；4 .续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Paragraph 1:My heart was pounding as we left the note before class on Miss Hanley's desk.Paragraph 2:At three o'clock, Miss Hanley asked us to stay after class for a few minutes.文本分析：Question 1: Whether Miss Hanley likes Kathleen better than the twogirls? Any supporting evidence? (Para 2)No.“You're a very talented writer/ Miss Hanley often told me.the applause from the students was light. But Miss Hanley clapped strongly, saying, nGreat! Great!nQuestion2: Read the first given sentence, What's their feeling after leaving the note?Ss: Nervous / regretful.T: !细节描写，上！又到了遛小盆友的时间，先来回顾一下如何描写人物情感细节描写：行为，神态，语言，心理，环境本次第一段更容易从“行为，神态和心理”三方面进行描写。When we walked back to the classroom, we met Miss Hanley by coincidence. The blood immediately rushed up to our face but we managed to squeeze out a smile to greet her.描写脸红的句子！用在这里非常贴切呀squeeze out a smile挤出一个笑容，单元复习刚回顾过，能灵活运 用在这个语境，奖励一朵小红花！ BTW脸红我们还 补充过一个动词blush，小娇羞小羞愧都可以使用哦I was absent-minded in the next class, wondering if she had read the note or not.心不在焉可以用这个形容词哦兔崽子们经常身体力 行着这个词哼！最近读小说看到一句"What happened after that is just a bit of bhir.”也很适合这个语境哦I couldn't help thinking what Miss Hanley might think about me after reading the note. Would she never praise me anymore? I trembled at the thought of it.句型the thought of it.不过tremble在这里使用稍微过 了点，老湿不会吃人哟紧张就够了，不需要害怕呀So nervous was I that I was afraid to look at her grey eyes and my hands started to sweat.so放句首引起的倒装句式加分!her grey eyes这些原 文细节信息的使用使得续写部分和原文有延续和联 系，I hang my head to avoid her eyesight. However, I felt as if she had been staring at me for the whole class.as if虚！拟！语！气！这位童鞋为我们示范了什么叫 学以致用M6新单元刚学的语法哟无敌赞I put my head down immediately and pretended that nothing had happened. Lisa was absent-minded as well. How I wished that we hadn't written the note!又是一个虚！拟！语！气！So nervous was I that I couldn't pay any attention to the course and felt Miss Hanley would ask me out when she looked at me. I looked around and found Lisa was as uptight as me. At the break, I just sat in my seat and waited for the time going by. It was such a long day! When Miss Hanley saw me by accident, I quickly buried my head in the book and the blood rushed to my face.I glanced at Miss Hanley secretly, wondering if she had read my note.偷瞄人家就不要再用look at 了，用glance at呀瞥一眼I tried to take a deep breath to calm myself down.My heart beat wildly and my hands became wet.这两句描写可用于第二段老师谈话前不过第一段里就别心跳太剧烈哦一整天心狂跳直到下午三 点小心脏承受不了哇来看一篇完整版的，感受一下几个角度的细节结合在一起的效果 My heart was pounding as we left the note before class on Miss Hanley's desk. I began to regret at the moment I got back to classroom. “Great! Great!” the praise hit me over and over again. What if Miss Hanley didn't like us anymore after this? What if other kids saw the note? When we were thinking about what would happen, Miss Hanley came in. The class began but I couldn't listen carefully.I was too ashamed to look at Miss Hanley in the eye.At three o'clock, Miss Hanley asked us to stay after class for a few minutes. My heart beat violently. Wondering what would happen, I sat with Lisa like forever. The time seemed frozen when we waited for her. "You might misunderstand the relationship betweenKathleen and me J She explained, " You are both talented writers, and I never have a preference for anyone." Hearing this, I realized that I was wrong. "I'm sorry, Miss Hanley." We said almost together, from徐丽莹 Paral整体的描写已经十分流畅了，但是Para2的说服 力还不够强。两个小女孩嫉妒K是出于不自信，那么 需要通过鼓励树立她们的自信心。Teacher说的话内容 还需补充加强。此处参考范文para2POSSIBLE VERSION:My heart was pounding as we left the note before class on Miss Hanley's desk. We folded it in threes, so nobody else could see what was written. I was sure Miss Hanley was going to be very angry. It was a long and hard day. I regretted sending the note and was terrified of Miss Hanley!s reaction. I couldn't concentrate in class, and kept sneaking glances at Lisa. She glanced back, looking equally upset.At three o'clock, Miss Hanley asked us to stay after class for a few minutes. Lisa and I stood before her desk. Fists clenched, I was unable to meet Miss Hanley's eyes. "Girls," Miss Hanley said gently, “I have no favorites in my classroom. Each kid is unique.n Her voice was so kind. nYou girls are very different from Kathleen. I'll tell you what I find wonderful about you-your senses of humor, your imaginations and your passion about life." My fists finally unclenched. There was room in Miss Hanley's heart for me! I didnft need to compete with anyone else. It was an impressive experience that I have never forgotten.语言积累时间Fists clenched, I was （非谓语）My fists finally unclenched.（反义词）clench one's fists/ teech握紧拳头/咬紧牙关生气、害怕、紧张的时候，都可以试着用用哦I clenched my fists and glared at him.I clenched my fists in anger.Their fists were clenched so tightly that their nails dug deep into their palms.