2023年5月温州三模读后续写Cafferty的蛙泳比赛讲义2023届高三英语二轮复习写作专项.docx

2023年5月温州三模读后续写解析Oh no. Coach Cafferty just said my name. For that event. The two-hundred-metre breaststroke （蛙泳）for the coming meet! Not the backstroke （仰泳）I had wished and practiced for so long!教练给我的惊吓一一不是我希望并练习了很久的仰泳，而是200 米蛙泳。根据这个段落可知作者要参加比赛的项目并不是他所擅长的，所 以可以协同后文续写第一段中参加比赛时的心理活动和表现。Beads of sweat popped out over my upper lip.（ 紧 张）Morgan pressed her elbow into my side, trying to offer me moral support.（好友支持鼓励）But it didn't help. My stomach sank to my knees like a brick in water.（紧张） Morgan tried to convince me it would be fine. "Maybe Coach has more confidence in you than you think."（好友鼓励）"Or maybe Coach Cafferty just want to give the rest a laugh when I sink to the bottom of the pool," I thought desperately.（我的心理活动）I walked towards Coach Cafferty and told her about my inability and my desire to quit this event. She frowned and asked if it was what I really wanted.I hesitated. Placing her hand on my shoulder, she started smiling and encouraged me to push myself outside of my comfort zone.（教 练鼓励）我的请辞以及好友和教练对我的鼓励。根据这个部分可知我对参加比赛的排斥以及好友和教练对我的 信心和鼓励，尤其是好友提到教练对你非常有信心，教练鼓励作 者走出自己的舒适圈。可与下文协同。如续写第一段中可以描写 作者在比赛过程中想到好友和教练的鼓励，或者听到他们在岸上 为我加油的场景。又如续写第二段中可以描写作者完成比赛后好 友和教练对他的祝贺，或者作者对自己完成比赛，走出舒适圈的 自豪感。（事件起因）The first practice was a disaster. I lost rhythm on my strokes. I messed up my turns. I even had to stop and catch my breath a few times. I felt everyone was laughing at me and my stomach twisted. （作者第一次练习时的表现糟糕）How could I make it withinjust two weeks? But once I dragged myself out of the water, exhausted and frustrated （我的状态），Coach Cafferty thumbed up to me, saying I did really well and just needed more confidence in myself and more time to practice.（教练鼓励）On the way back home, Morgan comforted me, "Dear, just ignore others. Race against yourself. Count your own strokes. Prove to yourself that you can do it.”（好友鼓励）With these words said to me almost every day, before or after each practice, something gradually changed: both how I swam the breaststroke and how I felt about the event as well as myself.（我的变化）根据这个部分可知作者在第一次练习的时候表现很糟糕，在这 部分的描写中出现了 lost rhythm on my strokes, messed up my turns, stop and catch my breath a few times, dragged myself out of the water, exhausted and frustrated等可以协同续写两段中作者游 泳过程中的表现。作者提到了好友每天不断的鼓励之后，作者发生了一些变化： 我蛙泳的表现的变化、我对这个比赛项目的感受的变化以及我对 我自己的感受的变化等。这与续写部分我的表现和心理协同。（事件发展）The meet finally came. I arrived at the pool hall, still a little bit worried. As each event clicked closer to mine, my knees shook （紧 张）.I bit my lip and looked out over the other swimmers. Morgan leaned forward. "Just swim your race. Remember, you can! （好友鼓 励）Paragraph 1:Then the two-hundred-meter breaststroke was announced.根据第一段首句可以推测第一处衔接写我听到即将开始比赛时我 的心理、我做了什么（走向游泳池）。然后描写跳入泳池游泳的 场景。中间部分可以写几种情况：1、作者跳到水里之后原先的那一点点 紧张也没有了，完全投入游泳，较为顺利；2、作者由于自己的紧 张，一开始没有发挥好，动作、呼吸等出现问题，但是因为想到 了好友的鼓励迅速调整自己，赶上其他人，渐入佳境。根据第二段的首句可知作者在第一段游了 150米，根据标准泳池 的长度50米，所以在第一段结尾处可以写作者最后一次掉头，与 第二段进行衔接。（事件高潮）Paragraph 2:There was only 50 meters to go.根据首句可以推测第三处衔接可以写作者的游泳状态和心理状心、O中间部分描写作者通过自己的努力和坚持不懈终于完成比赛，可 以获得名次，也可以没有获得名次。也许让作者获得一个还可以 的名次比较好。结尾处主题升华并协同上文：作者在朋友和教练的鼓励下勇敢走 出舒适圈后所获得了自豪感和成就感，获得个人成长。（事件结尾） 参考范文：Then the two-hundred-milestone breaststroke was announced. I bent on my starting block, waiting nervously. At the starting signal, I sprung forward, dived into the water and kicked like a dolphin. Then my head broke free of the water. "Just swim your race. I kept my eyes focused on the black line in front of me, ignoring the splashes of movement on either side. Pull. Breathe. Kick. I sucked in a breath and flipped, pushing hard against the wall and bursting back. A perfect turn! Then the second. I kept pushing forward despite my burning legs. The third! (91 words)There was only 50 meters to go. But my lungs were bursting, and my legs were pillars of lead. I kicked, feeling like moving through cement. "Prove to yourself that you can do it." Morgan's words echoed in my mind. Splashes of swimmers gaining distance ahead of me, I kept counting strokes until I touched the wall with what little energy I had left. I made it! Climbing out of the water with shaking arms, I collapsed to the ground. Morgan wrapped a towel around me. “You did it!” she squealed. Yes, I had given everything I had to finish. I swam my race. (98 words)