2024年读后续写沉浸式步步写作专题02 如何构筑故事高潮.docx

专辑02 如何构筑故事高潮一、增加外部冲突增加外部冲突是一种明显有效的可以达到故事高潮的方式。冲突带来紧迫感, 将故事推向必要的解决或崩溃。 角色之间的冲突【2017年11月浙江英语高考】开车找旅馆-徒劳无功-母亲建议搭帐篷在他人后院-David和我倍感紧张，心有不悦（母子的观点不一）On the fourth or fifth night, we had trouble finding a hotel with a vacancy. After driving in vain for some time, Mom suddenly got a great idea: Why didn't we find a house with a likely-looking backyard and ask if we could set up tent there? David and I became nervous. 真题赏析【2022年新高考I&II卷】作者是一名特殊教育教师，在大型越野赛跑那天，发现患有大脑疾病的大卫独自站在一旁。作者问其原因，他说准备放弃比赛。从教练口中得知，因为担心同学们会嘲笑大卫，所以教练想让大卫自己去决定是否参加赛跑。作者让大卫追寻自己的内心，不理会别人的看法。【第一段首句】We sat down next to each other, but David wouldnt look at me.我们挨着坐着，但大卫不愿看我一眼。【第二段首句】I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.我看着大卫和其他选手一起走到起跑线上。【大卫准备放弃比赛-作者鼓励大卫继续完成比赛】I said gently and quietly, “No one can change your mind, except yourself. If you desire to challenge yourself, there is nothing to do with others thoughts.” He sat still with a deep breath. “You have a full preparation before this event, which is the most important reason why you show up here”, I added with a sincere tone. Hearing my words, David turned to me with tears spilling out of his eyes and expressed he had made a firm determination to finish the cross-country run.【2021年浙江6月卷】作者高中毕业后，参加农场工作，辛辛苦苦挣到的钱，不情愿贡献给家庭，后来在看到父亲的辛劳之后，理解了父母担心的是自己太过自私而不知奉献，终于想通，并自豪地将自己劳动所得交给父亲。【第一段首句】The pay arrived at last.工资终于到了。【第二段首句】I understood immediately what my parents were worried about.我立刻明白了父母的担心。【辛辛苦苦挣到的钱不情愿贡献给家庭-自豪地将自己劳动所得交给父亲】The toil of labor was forgotten for the time being. I thought I should have my own money and planned how to spend it. “How much money have you earned?” Dad asked. I was surprised, reluctant to say my income. The next morning, my dads livestock truck started running. I saw my fathers hard-working figure and thought of his words “A jobs a big step to growing up”.角色与环境之间的冲突【2017年6月浙江英语高考】Mac骑车独自行，路遇饿狼，与之搏斗，险象环生。（人（角色）-狼（环境）大战）Then Mac heard quick and loud breathing behind him. he saw instantly that it wasn't a dog at all, but a wolf: quickly catching up with him. Mac's heart jumped. , he fired the spray at the wolf. A bright red cloud enveloped the animal, and to Mac's relief, it fell back, shaking its head. But a minute later, . Then it , tearing open his tent bag. He fired at the wolf a second time, and again, it fell back 真题赏析【2020年浙江7月卷】本文主要讲述了人与熊对抗，之后成功脱险的故事。【第一段首句】A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp.几分钟后，熊又回到营地。【第二段首句】At that very moment, the helicopter arrived.此时，直升机到了。【人与熊对抗】Roars and screams pierced the silence with needle-like shrillness. The noises turned Elli and I pale with horror. I feared that the giant would destroy our whole fence. He roared repeatedly, shattering what was left of the silence. Elli seized this opportunity to take some pictures of the bear. The animals noises echoed all around us. We betrayed our feelings by huddling together, shivering with fear. After thoroughly scrutinizing the area, he trotted forward a few steps.【2018年浙江6月卷】父亲带儿子去西部荒野的一个朋友家体验农场生活，见父亲和叔叔骑马，儿子也很想骑，于是亲身上马体验，结果迷路了。【第一段首句】Suddenly a little rabbit jumped out in front of my horse.突然间，一只小兔子跳到马的前面。【第二段首句】We had no idea where we were and it was getting dark.我们不知道身处何地，天也开始变黑了。【骑马迷路】All of a sudden the horse began to run. My dad tried to keep up behind us. For a few minutes my horse slowed down to a trot and then stopped beside a river. I looked around and realized that we were way off the track.角色与时间之间的冲突【2017年6月浙江英语高考】骑车突停面前-急喊上车-Max上车避险-饿狼近在咫尺（此情此景，刻不容缓）The car abruptly stopped in front of him. "Get into the car." Paul shouted at Mac. Mac jumped off the bike and slid into the car without delay as the wolf was just two steps away and was about to tear Mac into pieces. What a narrow escape!真题赏析【2021年浙江1月卷】作者家有在万圣节雕刻南瓜的传统，今年也不例外，家里所有人都在厨房的餐桌上辛勤地工作着，而作者的妈妈则在拍摄一年一度的活动。结果作者将头伸进了南瓜里，被卡住了，无论如何也无法挣脱出来，妈妈却趁机拍下了这一幕，后来作者得救，视频也被上传到网上走红，这段视频开始获得数十万的点击量。【第一段首句】It was five or six minutes though it felt much longer.虽然时间只过去了五、六分钟，但还是感觉要长得多。【第二段首句】The video was posted the Monday before Halloween.这段视频是在万圣节前的周一发布的。【南瓜卡头】Dad was summoned less, it seemed, in expectation of practical help than to make sure he didnt miss out on the spectacle. I heard him propose calling the fire department. “Stay tuned,” said Mom; shed mentioned she was going to upload the video to Facebook, but it was only then I realized shed been filming the whole time. The video cuts before my rescue Dad got me to push my head farther into the pumpkin so Mom could reach in and undo the rubber band round my ponytail. I emerged with squash-conditioned hair, a sore chin and my nose plugged with pulp.【2020年浙江7月卷】本文主要讲述了人与熊对抗，之后成功脱险的故事。【第一段首句】A few minutes later, the bear headed back to our camp.几分钟后，熊又回到营地。【第二段首句】At that very moment, the helicopter arrived.此时，直升机到了。【人与熊对抗】  My heart leaped with joy as I knew we were likely to be saved. Elli used pepper spray again to buy us enough time. But this time the bear became more alert. He regarded us with the merciless necessity of hunger, so we throw all the food we have. He then turned away and started devouring. As we were climbing the rope ladder, Elli prayed like thousand times to show thankfulness of being safe and sound.二、放大内心冲突 放大内心冲突（你的角色的内心斗争）也有助于建立一个高度紧张和不确定的时刻。面对问题，人物产生的消极或积极情绪【2021年6月浙江英语高考】On the way home full of excitement, I thought about how to make use of the “huge” sum of money. “I needed a new football in the future. ” I whispered to myself.Approaching my house, I noticed my dad and mom standing beside the old truck of my family, looking sad. It seemed as if something wrong had happened.“感到一阵 ”feel a flush of.= feel a wave of.= feel a feeling/sense of.joy(高兴), excitement(兴奋), pride (骄傲), anger(愤怒), rage(狂怒), panic(惊慌), alarm(惊慌) , terror(恐惧), horror(恐惧), fear(恐惧), unease (不安), sorrow (悲伤), sadness(悲伤), grief(悲伤), embarrassment(尴尬), disappointment(失望), shame(羞愧), guilt(愧疚)真题赏析【2023年新高考I&II卷】作者上中学的时候，社会学老师邀请作者参加一个写作比赛。作者不喜欢写作，于是想都没想就拒绝了。但是在老师的鼓励下，作者同意试一试。作者在写作过程中虽然很累，但是没有放弃，坚持下来了。在作者最终完成写作时，作者感到写作让他很快乐，他已经不在乎输赢了。【第一段首句】A few weeks later, when I almost forgot the contest, there came the news.几个星期后，当我几乎忘记比赛的时候，传来了消息。【第二段首句】I went to my teachers office after the award presentation.颁奖后我去了老师的办公室。【写作获奖】  I was informed that I won the first prize in the writing contest and that there would be an award presentation in two days. I was so happy to hear the news that I immediately shared it with my teacher. “I knew youd win! I am proud of you. You made it!” he said excitedly. Then came the big day. When I was invited to the stage to receive the award, I expressed my thanks to my teacher. I said, “Its you who make me fall in love with writing, my social studies teacher. Without your recognition and guidance, I couldnt have written this article. Again thank you very much!”【2023年浙江1月卷】作者被邀请去一个农场野餐，发现一个房子里有只蜂鸟被蜘蛛网困住了，作者把蜂鸟救了，把蜂鸟带出去的时候它迟迟不肯走，当作者走到一条布满黑莓的小路时，它开始动了，但是却不肯飞走，徘徊着，后来终于飞走了，当作者准备离开时，蜂鸟又飞到作者面前，好像是在和作者告别。【第一段首句】A few weeks later, I went to the farm again.几个星期后，我又去了农场。【第二段首句】I was just about to leave when the hummingbird appeared.我正要离开，这时蜂鸟出现了。【人救蜂鸟】A flash of movement caught my attention. I turned around to see the same hummingbird hovering in the air. It seemed that the bird was waiting for me, its beady eyes locked on mine as if trying to convey some deep, unspoken gratitude. I felt a surge of relief and awe at the sight of this sound and grateful creature, and I knew that I would always cherish the memories we shared as I climbed into my car and drove away.面对复杂的情境，人物产生急迫/复杂的心理 【2021年1月浙江英语高考】The video was posted online the Monday before Halloween.I looked just like a pumpkin head in it. Embarrassed and a little annoyed, I fled to my room, but Mom stopped me. “You havent read the comments yet.” I scrolled down the screen and marveled at the stories the viewers shared about Halloween. As/With +恶化的情况，sb. was on the edge of breaking down,totally at a loss what to do. 随着情况的恶化，某人快要崩溃了，完全不知道该怎么办。While/Although/Though sb. had attempted every possible means,.尽管某人已经使出浑身解数，.（情况没有好转）真题赏析【2022年新高考I&II卷】Jenna和Jeff这对双胞胎兄妹为了在母亲节早上给母亲惊喜而精心策划并制作早餐的故事；他们克服困难，永不放弃，折射的是他们对母亲的拳拳之爱。【第一段首句】As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.当双胞胎失望地环顾四周时，他们的父亲出现了。【第二段首句】The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up. 这对双胞胎把早餐端到楼上，叫醒了他们的母亲。【母亲节的礼物】Knowing what they were preparing for, he was greatly surprised. So immediately, he offered to get involved in the kids job. Firstly, he put the pot of porridge on a gentle heat, asking Jeff to watch out for it going for fifteen minutes. And then, he asked Jenna to break another two eggs and mix them with milk. With all preparations done, they started to fry bread together. In a flash, sweet smell filled the air in the kitchen. To their delight, the breakfast was a success in the end.【2016年10月浙江卷】夫妻就露营地发生争吵，妻子负气离开寻找更佳地点，却发现身陷森林，迫不得已独自在森林中过了一夜，内心充满了悔恨，第二天找到一条小溪和一些浆果，随后听到了直升机的声音，于是脱掉黄衬衫等待直升机再次出现【第一段首句】But no more helicopters came and it was getting dark again.但是没有直升机前来，天也再次变黑。【第二段首句】It was daybreak when Jane woke up.当简醒来的时候已是黎明。【夫妻吵架迷路】Immediately, an absolute darkness ruled the forest. Jane, exhausted and scared, lay down near a stone, missing her family at a distance. All the fantastic memory crowded in and she couldn't help crying, "Hadn't I quarreled with Tom, walked away and climbed to the high place, I wouldn't be trapped in this awful place, confronted with the danger of dying." She regretted with endless anxiety, and then became asleep with shining tears in her eyes.面对他人的行为或行动，人物展开了新的动作/行为 【2021年新高考I卷】The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up. When their mother saw the delicious and perfect breakfast in front of her, she was very surprised. It was not only the gift, but the love of the children for her that moved her very much. The two children could finish cooking a breakfast, which she didnt expect. The children said loudly, “Happy Mothers Day!” Mother hugged them tightly and kissed them again and again.Adj.+though/as +环境+was, it seemed +adj./n.+to sb.虽然环境.（客观事实），但是在某人看来.（主观感知）Reflecting on what had happened,sb.回忆/反思着.,某人.Realizing what a .situation sb. was in, sb thought to oneself, “If only I had （not）done.”意识到自己身处如此绝望的境地后，某人心想：“如果我（没有）.就好了”真题赏析【2020年1月浙江卷】男孩要去上大学，和自己的狗Poppy道别。而没有了男孩在家里，Poppy也非常想念男孩，于是男孩父母决定给Poppy买一条小狗作伴。【第一段首句】Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared.爸爸打开盒子，一条可爱的小狗出现了。【第二段首句】A few weeks later, the boy arrived home from university.几个星期后，男孩从大学回到家里。【狗狗Poppy】He had missed Poppy and was looking forward to seeing her. When he bent down to give her a big hug, he fell over in surprise as a small golden cloud came racing up to lick his face too. “Oh my gosh, who is this?” he exclaimed. His parents laughed at the look of shock on his face. “Thats Pee-wee,” said Dad. “I cant believe you got yourselves a puppy!” “We didnt,” replied Mom. “This puppy is for Poppy!”【2017年11月浙江卷】作者的母亲很健忘，一家四口自驾旅游去祖父母所居住的地方，途中发生了有趣的事情。【第一段首句】The next day we remembered the brand-new tent we had brought with us. 第二天，我们记起我们带的全新的帐篷。【第二段首句】We drove through several states and saw lots of great sights along the way.我们开车途径几个州，沿途看到很多很棒的风景。【欢乐假期】Thinking of this tent, Mom suggested that we go camping in the next village in excitement, with her eyes glittering. Considering her enthusiasm, we all agreed. When the door of our car opened, Mom stormed out instantly and urged us to put up the tent. David and I were asked to pick up some branches to build a fire. And when we came back, Dad and Mom had already lain down the grass comfortably in front of the tent, talking merrily with a local boy at our age, who kept glancing at this tent curiously. Soon we learnt that the boy in rags even didnt have a home to live in. Of course, Mom “forgot” to take this tent with us again.