专题08-2022年上海卷英语真题作文深度点评与满分作文赏析.docx

专题08-2022年上海卷英语真题作文深度点评与满分作文赏析【试题再现2022年秋季高考作文题】2022年上海高考英语作文网络回忆版：假设你是高三学生李华，你校计划组织“走进历史”的主题活动，有三项活动可供选择：1. 走访老战士；2. 表演历史剧； 3. 制作历史短视频。现向全校学生征求意见，给组织者写封信，信的内容包括：1.你的建议2.你的理由【试题解读】【审题】审题分析：建议信+选择类，都是大家平时经常练习的内容，应该说今年的秋考作文相当友好了， 文章框架结构非常清晰，关键是一定要把自己的理由写清楚，通过明确的topic sentence突出自己所选活动的优势，再用supportive sentence增强说服力。【相关词汇】走进历史approaching history/walking into history制作短视频making/filming short videos拜访老战士visiting the old soldiers历史舞台剧 historical stage play【大纲撰写】下面是以“制作短视频”为例的大纲:a.在社交媒体盛行年代，短视频更容易让年轻人接受b.通过短视频活动方式，成本低，且不需要消耗师生时间、精力c.短视频一个好处就是能够充分展现历史的丰富内容供参考观点：走访老战士1. 真实；2. 连接现实，让同学们了解历史就是现实表演历史剧1.有趣； 2.更身临其境地了解体会历史制作短视频1.流行，便于传播；2. 能发动更多的人参加活动【满分范文欣赏1】Dear Headmaster,My name is Li Hua, one of senior students in our school. I am writing this letter to recommend “history play” as the main activity of “Revisiting the history”.First and foremost, it is a better way to know about the historical events vividly by maximum students engagement rather than printed text and photos. Through the involvement students could efficiently remember historical facts instead of merely reciting them from books or PPTs. Secondly, by appreciating the heroic plots in the stage, students would comprehend the hard-won achievements of revolution deeply. For students can further recognize the background, analyze and the cause and evaluate the effect after the whole process of historical rehearsal. Most important of all, the excellent stories of national heroes and heroines will be imprinted in students mind and stimulate their national pride and confidence, and even promote their devotion to a better future of our country.Yours truly,Li Hua【满分范文欣赏2】Dear Headmaster,Having heard our school is going to organize an activity about walking into history and is now considering three ways among"making short videos"visiting the old soldiers" and "historical stage play”I am writing to voice my support for filming short videos. My reasons in favour are listed as follows.First and foremost, electronic devices are almost available to the young generation and social media like TikTok have been on the rise, leaving the short video prone to being accepted by the youth. Apart from its short videos bear a little cost and energy for the school side. Not only will they help save the schools financial budget, but also they will not involve too much energy of the teachers and students, who already have a tight schedule in engaging in educational activities. Last but not least short videos can cover more various historical themes in a wider range, which means historical tales and figures from the ancient society to modern one can be exhibited through videos.Conclusively, these are my reasons after careful consideration. I sincerely wish my voice could be heard and a success would be followed in this activity.Yours truly,Li Hua【试题再现2022年春季高考作文】假如你是明启中学的高三学生李明。入冬以来，你们学校组织全校师生进行晨跑，时间在7:30到7:50，休息5分钟之后准备上第一节课。但是有同学反映，晨跑后身体不适。校方委托学生会向同学们征集意见，请你向学生会写封邮件。（信件格式已给出）要求:1.提出问题;2. 提出改进的建议和理由。【试题解读】审题：(提供一种思路，仅供参考)基础信息：根据要求，作文结构为表明问题提出建议阐释理由。深入分析：1)“全校晨跑”是【事件】，“有同学晨跑后身体不适(felt unwell/not right, experienced discomfort)”是【现象】，据此分析【问题】可能是“管理或引导不当”所导致的，具体来说可能是“流程安排不合理(unreasonable time arrangement)”、“没有考虑具体天气状况(took no account/didnt take due consideration of the specific weather conditions)”、“晨跑强度不合理(exercise intensity beyond acceptable)/学生身体情况有异(varying individual physical conditions to attend to)”或“缺少充足的热身(lack adequate warming up/ no proper warm-up exercises)”等。2)给的【建议】尽可能匹配分析的【问题】，比如：“流程”的问题可以“调整晨跑时间或时长(rearrange schedule/ shorten the duration)/第一节课的时间(set a later time at which the first lesson begins)”，“天气”的问题可以“由校方负责关注天气预报，确定不适应晨跑的天气(check forecast to determine the suitable weather to go for a run)”，“强度/学生身体”的问题可以“采取循序渐进式第一周不跑太快让同学们适应(proceed gradually / pick up the pace slowly to adjust)”以及“由班主任/班长负责询问统计有特殊情况的同学(gather information about who is physically unfit for morning jogging)”或“采取都跑，但同学可以选跑完或少跑的方式(students have the freedom to run for any time period)”，“热身”的问题可以“由体育老师带队，进行10分钟预热，再跑个10分钟(P.E. teacher leads the class when warming up as well as jogging)”等。3)【理由】自然对应【建议】有针对性地说明，比如“调整时间(时长)”是因为“与第一节课接得太近，更多的间隔时间可以用于休息，在身体还未缓过来前，很快就使用脑力可能对身体甚至心理有负面影响(the interval between jogging and first lesson should be extended to make time for recovery while reducing potential negative effect on the body)”，“关注天气预报”是因为“过于寒冷或潮湿对身体是较大的挑战，容易感冒(its challenging to run on damp days in terms of the possibility of catching a cold)”，“特殊情况特殊对待”是因为“身体和精神都需要适应的过程(the body and the mind require time to adjust)/有身体状况的同学(如哮喘)更需要注意(pay close attention to certain illness such as chronic asthma)/既能鼓励同学们参与又提醒要适可而止(encourage students to participate and caution them not to overdo anything/ to stop when they reach their limit)”，“预热”是因为“天冷，人体机能的调动不够充分对身体会有负面影响(bodily functions can be negatively affected if not properly warmed up/ be boosted if properly warmed up and exercised)”等。4)可以考虑分析出的【建议】是否有逻辑关联，然后将相应的【理由】结合在一起论述，如此交叠有提高观点说服力的效果，比如“天气”是硬性规定(strict control of the activities)，温度不能低于多少且是晴天才行，“热身”是必要条件(necessary requirement)，可以早跑点，但要多热身会，再结合“时间安排”以及“强度/同学身体状况”，即减少实际跑的时长，跑的时长自由，跑完多休息会，延后第一节课的时间等(call for a more flexible class schedule/ more rest time/ delaying the first lesson)。5)通过以上解读，可以发现这是件需要“学校老师学生”三方合作的事情(cooperation and contribution involving different groups of people)，即由校方作出规定以及安排课程时间，老师负责热身和跑步的过程，学生视自己身体状况来跑(school regulates, teachers guide and supervise, and students comply)。*6)鉴于晨跑是件有好处的事情，不管是生理/精神/团队意识等方面(physically/mentally/team spirit)，所以“直接取消晨跑”的建议可能较难被接受，毕竟能合理应对挑战的解决方案才是鼓励同学们思考的方向。【满分范文欣赏1】Dear Student Union,I am writing this letter to reflect on the school's organization of morning running for all teachers and students. Glad that the school organizes morning running for the health of students. However, some students reflected that they were uncomfortable after morning running which is an urgent problem to be solved. To solve it, my reasons and suggestions are as follows.First of all, it is inappropriate to set the time for morning running from 7:30 to 7:50 in the morning, because it is only 5 minutes from the first class. Students will be very tired, which will impact the learning efficiency of the first class. Meanwhile, just after breakfast in the morning vigorous exercise is not suitable for human beings, otherwise it will cause stomach discomfort. Why not try to put the morning running time in the big break after the second class? Whats more, I hold, before organizing morning running we should give students a comprehensive physical examination to ensure that everyone's physical condition is suitable for running. We can arrange some other warm-up exercises for these students and teachers who are not suitable for running, preventing some unexpected accidents. Last but not least, the school should consider students with physical discomfort to ask for leave in advance and inform the reason.In short, what matters most is that physical education is a crucial part of education. Only by strengthening our body can we better protect our country and build our motherland. I hope sincerely students can experience happiness in reasonable sports.Yours,Li Ming【满分范文欣赏2】