托福作文写作范文详解ighwa.docx

托福作文写作范文详解Should governments spend more money on improving roads and highways, or should governments spend more money on improving public transportation (buses, trains, subways)? Why? Use specific reasons and details to develop your essay.1.题目翻译政府是应该花更多的钱改善道路还是改善公共交通工具（比如公共汽车, 火车，地铁）？为什么？2 .审题关键词：Money; Roads and highways; Public transportation; SocialDevelopment; People's requirements3 .论证分析： 正:The first reason is that public transportation benefits the greatest number of people.正：With the limited amount of money, the public transportation will have a greater improvement than the highways.正：Finally, with a lot of problems in public transportation, we should not skip this step.范文：Governments should definitely spend more money on improving all forms of public transportation. These include buses, subways and trains. This is the best way to preserve natural resources and reduce pollution.此段结构本段第一句话提供了文章讨论话题的背景。第二话简单解释分析。最后 一句话点明了作者的立场，阐述其观点。此段功能本段是文章首段，对文章要讨论的内容提供了背景和社会上激烈讨论的 话题，然后点明了作者立场，并提出论点。As a planet, we're dealing with a finite amount of natural resources. Once they're gone, they can't be replaced. They can't fill our need for oil and gasoline forever. But we seem to forget that and consume them at an incredible rate. In wealthier counties, some families have two or three cars. As soon as teenagers get their driver's licenses, they're given cars so their parents won't have to drive them places.此段结构本段是对我们目前的生存环境通行的分析。全断没有分层次，就是分析 和阐述。此段功能本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第一段，分析了我们现在的生存环境, 为后文的发展公共交通做铺垫。Public transportation hasn't been sufficiently developed.Because of this, suburban areas surrounding cities have been allowed to sprawl more and more widely. This means that people can't even go to the store without having to hop into the car. Everything is too far away from where they live. If there were better and more frequent public transportation, people could use public transportation for errands and local travel. As a result of all the cars being driven, we're dealing with terrible pollution problems. In big cities, there are days during the summer when the elderly and people with respiratory problems are advised not to leave the house because of the smog. Ten years ago this was unheard of! Now it's the norm. Public transportation would cut down considerably on air pollution.此段结构本段是一个分总的结构。本段可以分为两个部分。第一部分：首先第一 句话阐述了一个背景，就是我们现在的大众交通还没有被很好的开发。 后面对此通行了原因分析。第二部分：强调小轿车可能带来的污染，并 宣扬大力发展公共交通，阐述了本段分论点。此段功能本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，写了支持作者立场的第一个 分论点。Public transportation also encourages a sense of community. People who travel to work together all the time get to know each other. Cars isolate us from neighbors. However, people feel they need to drive because they can't depend on public transportation to fit their schedules. If more money were available, buses, subways and trains could run 24 hours a day. Then they would be available all the time to the people who need them. I always try to take public transportation whenever possible, and I encourage friends and neighbors to try it too. I think we must support public transportation in order to create a better world.此段结构本段是一个总分总的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨。后面对此通行 了阐述原因。并且不Car做了对比，突出了公共交通的重要性。并在 最后一句话重申论点，速行升华，即公共交通可以给我们更好的生活。此段功能本段是文章的第四段，也就是正文第三段，写了支持作者立场的第二个 分论点。不上面一个段落时并列的关系。满分因素剖析一、语言表达这篇文章的在语言方面非常下功夫，可以看出作者扎实的语言功底。在 句子方面，作者熟练运用定语从句，宾语从句，主语从句，表语从句, 状语从句等多种复合句式，句子长短交错，富亍变化。在用词方面，作 者也非常讲究，作者使用了很多动词短语和比较高级的词汇。1. Because of this, suburban areas surrounding cities have been allowed to sprawl more and more widely.本句中用到了一个高级词 汇"sprawl",意思是"延伸，蔓延"，同样的表达还有"spread"和"extend", 但是spraw所指的蔓延多是无计划性肆意地，用在此处很形象As a planet, we're dealing with a finite amount of natural resources.此句中，动词短语deal with意思是"处理"，后面接名词戒 动词的ing形式，同义词还有"handle"和土鳖用法"d。”,如果下次遇到 用do的时候，可以用deal with戒者handle来替换，这样文章语 言会有所提升。2. This means that people can't even go to the store without having to hop into the car.此句中出现了托福作文中常用的黄金句型 "can not do without",意思为"如果不做某事某事就不能做成"。这种 结构常常用来表达一件事是另一件事的必要条件的逻辑关系，不if not 引导的条件状语从句意思相同。但大家可以看到，这种表达比if not引 导的条件状语从句要简练的多，而且一篇文章如果出现太多的if也会 让考官头疼。因此，大家不妨在写作中多使用这种用法。In big cities, there are days during the summer when the elderly and people with respiratory problems are advised not to leave the house because of the smog.此句中,when引导定语从句修饰名词days ,而不是the summero 这种定语从句先行词不被修饰词不相连的现象在英语写作中很常见。 During the summer是本句的状语，如果放在句子的前面会有些别扭, 放在长定语后面又有些赘余，因此，作者将其放在句中，这样读起来更 加顺畅。二、逻辑结构本文使用了补正正的形式。第一个段落补充了一些有关环境污染的分析, 过而引出了后面对大众交通的分析。这样的结构在考试中并不多见。后 面两个段落是并列的关系，将了大众交通的好处，并不car做了对比， 凸显了其好处。这样对比的手法使得文章充实具体。