托福作文写作范文详解hildre.docx

托福作文写作范文详解How do movies or television influence people's behavior? Use reasons and specific examples tosupport your answer.1 .题目翻译：电影和电视如何改变人们的行为？2 .审题关键词：Television; Movies; Influence; Behavior.论证分析:正：电影和电视能够让人们迅速了解整个国家和世界，丰富人的知识, 让人们更加乐观 反：电影和电视让人变的懒惰，不愿意和人接触 反：电影和电视让人变的violent范文:Do movies and television affect our behavior? A special concern is whether movies and televisionmake children and society more violent I believe that movies and television do influence ourbehavior, both for the better and for the worse.此段结构本段先用一个设问引出了本文要讨论的问题。第二句话提出了本文的一 个背景和社会的激烈讨论点。最后用I believe引出了作者对此和看法 和本文的主论点。此段功能本段是文章首段，对文章要讨论的内容提供了背景和社会上激烈讨论的 话题，然后点明了作者立场，并提出论点。Movies do make people more violent. The more we see violent acts on television, the less sensitivewe become to them.Eventually violence doesn't seem wrong; because we are habituated toviolence, we may even commit violent acts ourselves. This is especially true because we donalways realize that violence has consequences. Actors can be killed and come back for anothermovie. Sometimes we confuse that with reality. We forget that killing someone in real life ispermanent.此段结构本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨后面第二、三 句话对主旨进行了简要分析。后面是补充的作者这样推理的一些原因, 然后举了一个actor的例子。然后对例子进行了简要分析，进而佐证 了本分论点。此段功能本段是文章的第二段，也就是正文第一段，写了支持作者立场的第一个 分论点。这一段是写的电视的坏处。Movies and television also influence our behavior because they make us less active. Looking at filmsis a passive activity. If we watch too much, we become unhealthy, both mentally and physically. Thislethargy has many negative effects. We stop using our own imagination when we see things actedout for us. This mental laziness becomes physical laziness; we'd rather watch sports on to than playsports ourselves. We'd rather visit with the characters on “Seinfeldn or "Friends" than go chat withour own neighbors. Imaginary people have exciting lives. Is it any wonder that some people wouldrather live a fantasy life than in their own?此段结构 本段是一个总分的结构。首先第一句话即点明了主旨后面第二句话 对主旨进行了简要分析。后面是补充的作者小时候的一个例子，生动具 体，帮助论证了小孩子可以从错误中学习这个观点。此段功能本段是文章的第三段，也就是正文第二段，写了支持作者立场的第二个 分论点。这一段是写的电视的坏处。Of course, watching movies and television can also be good for us. It can give us a broader windowon the world. For example, seeing movies can expose us to people of different races and cultures.We can then overcome some prejudices more easily. The best influence on our behavior is thatmovies and television reduce stress. Watching films, we can escape our own problems for a littlewhile. Also, sometime movies show positive ways to resolve problems we all face. While TV andmovies shouldn't be a way to hide from life, sometimes they can help us cope.此段结构本段是一个总分的结构。本段分为三个小部分展开。第一个个小部分写 了电视可以扩展我们的视野，并用一个看电影的例子来正事。第二个小 部分说了电视可以帮助我们减压。最后一个小部分用also来引导，告 诉了我们电视可以帮助我们应对生活中的问题，而不是逃避。此段功能 本段是文章的第四段，也就是正文第三段，写了电视的好处。与前两个 段相反。It is true that movies and television can influence our behavior negatively. However, I also believethat they influence our behaviors in positive ways. How they affect you depends on how much youwatch, what you watch, and how you respond to what you watch.此段结构本段是文章尾段。第一句话对上文进行了承接，第二句话用一个 however告诉了我们要具体问题具体分析。最后一句话对本文中立的 观点进行了重述。此段功能本段是文章尾段。第一句话对上文进行了承接了上文，重述论点。满分因素剖析：一、语言表达 这篇文章的在语言方面非常下功夫，可以看出作者扎实的语言功底。在 句子方面，作者熟练运用定语从句，宾语从句，主语从句，表语从句, 状语从句等多种复合句式，可谓是从句的“百科全书"。同时，本文长难 句与简单句交错出现，主动与被动，陈述句与疑问句结合，读上去很有 节奏感。在用词方面，作者熟练使用各种连词，副词，使文章逻辑通畅， 态度清晰。1. 1 believe that movies and television do influence our behavior, both for the better and for theworse.此句中，作者用到了一个强调 结构。do在强调句中是只强调谓语动词的，放在谓语动词前，后接动 词原形。这种强调结构专门强调谓语，而常用的it is. that结构可以 强调除谓语的任何结构。2. The more we see violent acts on television, the less sensitive we become to them.止匕句中出现了 the moreo 0 。 , the moreo 0 o 的结构，意思是"越。引起越。"。前后两个more都是比较级 的形式。这种句型在托福考试中可以阐释原因引起的结果，前面的the more接原因，后面的the more接结果。大家可以记住这种表达，在 阐释原因是代替because ,可以使文章句子更加优美。3. This mental laziness becomes physical laziness; we'd rather watch sports on to than play sports ourselves. We'd rather visit with the characters on "Seinfeld" or "Friends" than go chat with ourown neighbors.句型 would rather do., than意思是"宁愿 做。，也不愿意做。"此句中用到了一个并列结构，两句话中 都出现了 would rather do., than.的结构,两句句式对仗，读上去 朗朗上口，不仅使得论证语气更加强烈，同时使文章语言富于美感。4. How they affect you depends on how much you watch, what you watch, and how you respond towhat you watch.止匕句是一个多 种从句嵌套的复合句结构。第一个How引导主语从句，做主句的主语。 而第二个第三个how和中间的what引导宾语从句，做及物短语 depend on的宾语。而最后一个what引导宾语从句，做第三个how 引导的宾语从句中respond to的宾语。此句虽然不是很长，但句式多 变，足见作者的功底。二、逻辑结构不同于一般正负态度鲜明的托福作文，本文接近一个中立的观点，对事 物的利弊两个方面都做了客观的分析。电视有利有弊，关键要让我们具 体事情具体分析。这样中立的观点在独立写作中并不多见，比较难以拿 捏，一不小心就可能写成了偏题跑题或者观点不明确。但是本文写的利 弊非常得当，逻辑严谨，结构清晰，相信这个中立的观点是本文得到满 分的必要因素。文章三个正文段采用弊弊利的分析模式，尤其是分析电 视好处的利段，分成多个部分展开，非常充实。文段展开的多层次和逻 辑的递进是论证拿高分的关键。