广东省深圳市高三英语二模读后续写解析讲义.docx

深圳市二模读后续写题目原文：其次节（总分值25分）阅读下面材料，依据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短 文。Ballet was a way of life in Kelly's family. Her elder sister Serena was now dancing at a top college. Though Kelly's mom always wanted her to follow in her sistefs footsteps and Kelly herself was good at ballet9her love for ballet had faded years before, and she was eager fbr a new challenge.One day at school, as Kelly left the dance studio, she walked past the gym, fascinated by boxers 拳击手）training inside the boxing ring. She was deeply impressed by how hard they hit and how fast they moved.In fact,she!d long been attracted to boxing.She pulled a piece of paper from her backpack. On the familiar Oakwood High School Club Signup Sheet was the phrase： BOXING CLUB TRYOUT 选拔）.That was what Kelly really wanted to do. She knew her mom had high expectations fbr her when it came to ballet.Tired of trying to keep up with her sister, Kelly was ready to carve her own path.The next day,she gathered her courage and told Serena about her new passion. At first, Serena didn't understand and thought she was just joking. But when she saw Kelly was serious, she replied/You know Mom wants you to be a ballet dancer, right? Besides, boxing is only fbr boys, and you're so good at ballet.Lean into your strength, Kelly.nnBut this is where I want to put my strength/Kelly insisted/and what exactly does !only for boys' mean, anyway? Boxing is a sport for everyone !nGradually, touched by her determination and passion, Serena began to understand and support her. Kelly could feel it. Her sister was going to respect her decision, no matter what. But that was nothing pared to the preparations fbr the tryout, where she was required to show her footwork and punching击打abilities with other candidates. Boxing didnft e natural to Kelly,but she had made up her mind to stick with her choice.留意：L续写词数应为150左右；2 ,请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Then Kelly began her training for the tryout, keeping it a secret from her mom. The following Monday, results of the boxing tryout were posted.官方范文：Then Kelly began her training, keeping it a secret from her mom. Every day after school, Kelly dashed to the boxing gym, occupying herself with the intense training. Stretching legs, practicing her footwork and improving endurance had bee the bittersweet routine of her life. Even when she was made fun of by boys in the gym, she bit her lip tightly and continued her training. Finally, the tryout came. Extremely nervous though, she stepped into the boxing ring, moved fast and punched hard to the surprise of other candidates. After the tryout, Kelly left the gym confidently, knowing she did her best.The following Monday, results of the boxing tryout were posted. To her delight, Kelly found her name on the list. Thrilled, she shared the news with Serena, both ready to reveal the secret to their mom. At dinner that day, Kelly gathered her courage and said to her mom, 'Tm sorry, mom. I've made the boxing team and I'm ready to carve my own path.” At first, a flicker of disbelief and shock crossed her mom!s face, but after a long, hearttoheart talk, she gave Kelly a bear hug and whispered softly, “I'm so proud of you for being yourself/二、评分原那么(实行双评，差距5分产生三评)L此题总分为25分，按5个档次进行评分。2 .评分时，主要从内容的合理性、语言正确性丰富性、连接连贯性三个方 面考虑，详细为：(1)续写内容的合理性、完整性、原文情境的融洽程度以及是否传递正能量。(2)所使用词汇和语法结构的精确？性、丰富性和得体性。(3)上下文的连接和全文的连贯性。3 .评分时，应先依据作答的整体状况确定其所属的档次，然后以该档次的要求来 综合衡量，确定或调整档次，最终给分。4 .评分时还应留意：(1)词数过多或过少(少于130;多于180)均酌情扣12分，词数不超过所给 答题框即可。(2)书写较差以致影响交际的，酌情扣分12分，但不能仅凭书写打印象分。(3)单词拼写和标点符号是写作标准的重要方面，评分时应视其对交际的影响程 度予以考虑，英、美 拼写及词汇用法均可接受。(4)超过2段扣2分。(5)关于主题偏离的处理，建议最高不超过及格分往下评。(6)假如只续写了其中一段，但该局部完成质量好、字数到达要求，建议最高不 超过12分往下评。三、评分细节1 .内容要点(工)文本大意:文章叙述了一家对芭蕾舞的喜爱，尤其是她的妈妈和姐姐Sc七八必 然而，KR也对芭蕾舞的热忱已经渐渐消退，她渴望尝试新的挑战。一天，她被学校拳击馆内的拳击手所吸引，打算报名 参与拳击俱乐部的选拔。尽管她的姐姐Sc%八起初不理解，但最终还是被Kc他的决心和激情所感动， 支持她的选择。(2)主题立意：文章主题立意明确，内容指向的是英勇追求自己幻想，勇于挑战自我。Ke他不仅关注自 己的爱好，而且勇于挑战传统观念，呈现了坚决的决心和士气。(3)续写方向：依据文中的 “BOXING CLUB TRYOUT1. "Boxing did八叱 e natural to Kelly11和段 首两句中的 “Theh Kellyherfor the tryout, keeping it a secret from her和"The following M。八dag, resodts of the boxMg tryout were posted11,要求同学能够把握 Kelly 努力训练、参与选拔并最终胜利的过程，以及她如何面对母亲的期望和支持。(4)续写要点：第一段：LKe(也进行拳击训练；2 .KR也在训练中所遇到的困难和挑战；3 .Kelly参与选拔并呈现出精彩的表现；4 .这段最终要提到"boxing tryout，以与其次段首句形成有效连接。 其次段：5.选拔结果公布，胜利入选；&KR也向母亲透露隐秘；7.母亲最终接受并支持Kelly的选择。(5)续写难度：从文章难度上看，文章主题清楚，抓住主线的难度不会太大，但仍有可能消失以下几方面 的问题：1没能把握好Kelly在训练和选拔过程中所面临的挑战；2没有突出Kelly英勇追求自己幻想的决心和士气；2.语言表达(1)语言精确？?？性:句式、时态和词汇;(2)语言丰富性：句式多样，恰当运用复合句、非谓语和特别句型等；运用适宜的词汇 进行心理、动作、语言和环境等细节描写；不鼓舞为了追求所谓的高级词汇、短语或句式，套用背诵积累的“高大上的 语言，导致语义、语境和规律的混乱；(3)语言规律性：段间、句间规律连接自然、紧密。非方范文(仅供参考)：Then Kelly began her training for the tryout, keeping it a secret from her mom. She spent countless hours practicing her footwork and punches, drawing on her ballet background to help with her balance and agility. Even when she was made fun of by boys in the gym, she bit her lip tightly and continued her training.In the evenings, she would watch videos of famous boxers, studying their techniques and trying to emulate their moves. As the tryout day approached, Kelly's confidence grew, and she knew that she had made the right decision in pursuing her passion for boxing.The following Monday, results of the boxing tryout were posted. To her delight, she found her name among the successful candidates! Overwhelmed with joy, she couldn't wait to share the news with Serena, who had been her rock throughout the entire process. However, she knew that the hardest part was yet to e - breaking the news to her mom. Surprisingly, her mom, though initially shocked, saw the determination in Kelly's eyes and ultimately decided to support her daughter's newfound passion. With her family*s support, Kelly embarked on her journey to bee a skilled and respected boxer, proving that boxing was indeed a sport for everyone.