JennaMcCarthy_2011X[珍娜.麦卡锡][关于婚姻你不能不知的事].pdf

www.XiYuS锡育软件Every year in the United States alone,2,077,000 couplesmake a legal and spiritual decision to spend the rest of theirlives together.在美國,每年有 207萬7千對新人,許下神聖,且法律公證的承諾 要與另一半攜手共度過他們往後的人生.00:15(Laughter)and not to have sex with anyone else,ever.(觀眾笑聲)並且承諾,絕對不會跟任何其他的人有染。絕對不會。00:28He buys a ring,she buys a dress.他會買下婚戒,她會挑選好婚紗,00:36They go shopping for all sorts of things.兩人一起購物 一起做任何事情。00:39She takes him to Arthur Murray for ballroom dancinglessons.她也會帶著他 去學跳愛的雙人舞。00:43And the big day comes.然後當那重大的日子來到,00:48And theyll stand before God and family and some guy herdad once did business with,and theyll vow that nothing,notabject poverty,not life-threatening illness,not complete andutter misery will ever put the tiniest damper on their eternallove and devotion.他們會面對聖壇,站在上帝,親友,家人 還有一些她爸談生意的夥伴前,對眾人起誓,沒有任何貧困,沒有任何疾病,沒有任何不幸災難,可以阻擋兩人之間 那堅貞,永恆不變的愛與承諾。00:50(Laughter)These optimistic young bastards promise to honorand cherish each other through hot flashes and mid-lifecrises and a cumulative 50-lb.weight gain,until that far-offday when one of them is finally able to rest in peace.(觀眾笑聲)這些天真的年輕小鬼們 信誓旦旦會一輩子珍惜彼此,從熱戀期 到中年危機,體重默默增加了50磅,一直到很久後的某一天,其中的一個人,終於,安詳的睡去。01:11ballroom:n.舞厅;跳舞场 vow:n.发誓;誓言;许愿/vt.发誓;郑重宣告/vi.发誓;郑重宣告 abject:adj.卑鄙的;可怜的;不幸的 life-threatening:adj.威胁生命的 damper:n.航电子机阻尼器;车辆减震器;气闸 eternal:adj.永恒的;不朽的 devotion:n.献身,奉献;忠诚;热爱 cherish:vt.珍爱/vt.怀有(感情等)；抱有(希望等)flashes:n.闪光灯(flash的复数形式);光芒;披峰/v.闪光;反射(flash的单三形式)crises:n.危机,紧要关头;危险期(crisis的复数形式)cumulative:adj.累积的 far-off:adj.遥远的You know,because they cant hear the snoring anymore.你知道的,因為他們終於不用聽到對方的鼾聲了。01:33And then theyll get stupid drunk and smash cake in eachothers faces and do the Macarena,他們還會在婚禮那天一起發酒瘋 然後用蛋糕砸對方的臉,01:36and well be there showering them with towels and toastersand drinking their free booze and throwing birdseed atthem every single time-even though we know,statistically,half of them will be divorced within a decade.而我們這些朋友會在一旁,拉禮炮,開香檳,享受免費的喜酒,還有祝福他們夫妻百年好合,一次次的重複。雖然,我們都心知肚明,經過統計,這些夫妻們有一半會在十年內離婚。01:41(Laughter)Of course,the other half wont,right?(觀眾笑聲)當然,還是有半數的夫妻沒有離婚,對吧?01:58Theyll keep forgetting anniversaries and arguing aboutwhere to spend holidays and debating which way the toiletpaper should come off of the roll.他們只是會不停的忘記結婚紀念日,為了要去哪度假起爭執,還有激烈的辯論,到底,廁所的衛生紙捲應該要向內還是向外。02:03And some of them will even still be enjoying each otherscompany when neither of them can chew solid foodanymore.然而,還是有一小部分的夫妻 會持續的享受彼此的陪伴,即使髮白齒搖仍舊鶼鰈情深。02:15snoring:v.打鼾;鼾声;正在打呼噜(snore的ing形式)Macarena:n.赛前舞(预祝胜利);玛卡瑞娜 showering:气象阵雨toasters:n.烤箱;烤面包器 booze:n.酒;酒宴/vi.豪饮;痛饮 birdseed:n.鸟饵,鸟食 statistically:adv.统计地;统计学上anniversaries:n.周年纪念(日)(anniversary的复数)toilet paper:卫生纸,厕纸 come off:举行,成功;表现;脱离And researchers want to know why.研究員們想知道他們是如何辦到的。02:24I mean,look,it doesnt take a double-blind,placebo-controlled study to figure out what makes a marriage notwork.你也知道,用不著大費周章的做科學考證 我們也知道什麼會使婚姻出現問題。02:27Disrespect,boredom,too much time on Facebook,havingsex with other people.例如彼此不尊重,厭倦對方,成天上網玩 非死不可,或者是有了外遇。02:34But you can have the exact opposite of all of those things-respect,excitement,a broken Internet connection,mind-numbing monogamy-and the thing still can go to hell in ahand basket.即使是一些完全相反的例子,彼此尊重,生活有驚喜,家裡沒網路,這些徹底的遵守一夫一妻制的婚姻,仍舊會因為雞毛蒜皮的小事而破裂。02:41So whats going on when it doesnt?所以說,那些成功的幸福婚姻,02:56What do the folks who make it all the way to side-by-sideburial plots have in common?到底是怎麼維繫的?這些白頭到老的夫妻們 有什麼共同點?02:59TED演讲者：Jenna McCarthy|珍娜.麦卡锡演讲标题：Jenna McCarthy:What you don.t know about marriage|关于婚姻你不能不知的事内容概要：Jenna McCarthy writes about relationships,marriage and parenting.作家珍娜.麦卡锡在TEDx中的这个有趣的漫谈中，分享了一些关于婚姻（尤其是美满婚姻）的令人惊讶的研究。小提示:不要去做奥斯卡影后。What are they doing right?他們都是怎麼做的?03:05What can we learn from them?我們要如何向他們學習?03:07And if youre still happily sleeping solo,why should you stopwhat youre doing and make it your lifes work to find thatone special person that you can annoy for the rest of yourlife?甚至,如果你是個快樂的單身貴族,為什麼要放棄既有的生活,自討苦吃的 去找一個所謂的特別的人,來讓你下半輩子都不得安寧?03:10double-blind:双盲/双盲的 Disrespect:n.无礼,失礼,不敬 boredom:n.厌倦;令人厌烦的事物 mind-numbing:adj.令人心烦意乱的;令人厌恶的;无法想象的 monogamy:n.一夫一妻制;动单配偶,动单配性 burial:n.埋葬;葬礼;弃绝/adj.埋葬的plots:n.情节;阴谋;小块土地(plot的复数);平面图/v.划分;策划(plot的三单形式);绘制的地图 in common:共同的;共有的solo:n.独奏;独唱;独奏曲/adj.独奏的;独唱的;单独的/vt.单人攀登;单独驾/vi.单独表演;放单飞/adv.单独地Well researchers spend billions of your tax dollars trying tofigure that out.多虧你們的納稅錢,研究員們得以 去找出個所以然。03:24They stalk blissful couples and they study their every moveand mannerism.他們像偵探一樣跟蹤那些幸福小夫妻,觀察他們的一舉一動,特殊癖好,03:29And they try to pinpoint what it is that sets them apart fromtheir miserable neighbors and friends.試著揪出哪些關鍵原因 讓他們得以出淤泥而不染,不會被身邊朋友與鄰居的悲劇同化。03:34And it turns out,the success stories share a few similarities,actually,beyond they dont have sex with other people.研究結果發現,這些幸福的愛情故事,都存在著一些共同點,不單單只是不偷吃沒亂來。03:40For instance,in the happiest marriages,the wife is thinnerand better looking than the husband.舉例來說,其中一個共同點就是 太太的身材還有外型保持的比先生好。03:49(Laughter)Obvious,right.(觀眾笑聲)挺能理解的,是吧?03:55Its obvious that this leads to marital bliss because,women,we care a great deal about being thin and good looking,whereas men mostly care about sex.這樣的現象在幸福婚姻中屢見不鮮,原因很簡單,因為我們女人,就是愛漂亮,然後男人成天想著的就是性,03:59ideally with women who are thinner and better looking thanthey are.男人對性的最高理想,就是對象能 比他們自己的外型更正點。04:08stalk:n.(植物的)茎,秆;(支持叶子,果实和花的)梗,柄;追踪;高视阔步/vt.追踪,潜近/vi.潜近,偷偷接近 blissful:adj.充满喜悦的mannerism:n.特殊习惯;矫揉造作;怪癖 pinpoint:vt.查明;精确地找到;准确描述/adj.精确的;详尽的/n.针尖;精确位置;极小之物 apart from:除之外;且不说;并且 similarities:类似/相似之处 thinner:adj.较薄的;较瘦的;较细的(thin的比较级)/n.(油漆的)稀释剂;冲淡剂;使变稀薄者,加稀料的制漆工 marital:adj.婚姻的;夫妇间的 bliss:n.极乐;天赐的福/vt.使欣喜若狂/vi.狂喜/n.(Bliss)人名;(英,法,德,西)布利斯/n.必列斯(化妆品品牌)ideally:adv.理想地;观念上地The beauty of this research though is that no one issuggesting that women have to be thin to be happy;we justhave to be thinner than our partners.這個研究的可貴之處在於,我們女人其實不用 為了討好另一半而拼命減肥,只要維持著比我們的先生瘦一點就好。04:12So instead of all that laborious dieting and exercising,wejust need to wait for them to get fat,maybe bake a few pies.所以說,與其耗費心神的 去節食或上健身房,我們只需要讓老公變胖一點就好啦。或許多烤兩個肉派。04:21This is good information to have,and its not thatcomplicated.這對我們女人來說是個天大的好消息,而且可以輕鬆上手。04:31Research also suggests that the happiest couples are theones that focus on the positives.另外,研究員們還說,最快樂的夫妻們,都懂得善用正面思考。04:36For example,the happy wife.例如,一個快樂的太太,04:42Instead of pointing out her husbands growing gut orsuggesting he go for a run,she might say,Wow,honey,thank you for going out of your way to make me relativelythinner.與其去酸丈夫的啤酒肚有多大,或去催促對方慢跑減肥,她可以聰明的說,哇,親愛的你好貼心唷,辛苦的把肚子養大,這樣我站在旁邊就顯得比較瘦囉！04:44These are couples who can find good in any situation.這樣的小倆口懂得樂觀地去發掘生活中美好的一面。04:57Yeah,it was devastating when we lost everything in thatfire,but its kind of nice sleeping out here under the stars,and its a good thing youve got all that body fat to keep uswarm.是的,這的確令人沮喪,那場大火把我們的所有家當都燒光了。但能因此有機會睡在星光下也挺不賴的,而且也幸好你有好好保存體脂肪,這樣抱著你就不怕冷囉。05:00laborious:adj.勤劳的;艰苦的;费劲的 dieting:n.节食;节食减肥/v.给规定饮食;喂食(diet的ing形式)exercising:n.行使;锻炼;运动健身/v.运动;运用(exercise的ing形式);练习 positives:n.实在的事物;阳极板(positive的复数)gut:n.内脏;肠子;剧情;胆量;海峡;勇气;直觉;肠/vt.取出内脏;摧毁(建筑物等)的内部/adj.简单的;本质的,根本的;本能的,直觉的 devastating:adj.毁灭性的；全然的/v.摧毁(devastate的ing形式)；毁坏One of my favorite studies found that the more willing ahusband is to do house work,the more attractive his wife willfind him.我最喜歡的研究報告之一就是 越樂意幫忙做家事的丈夫 在妻子眼裡就越迷人。05:12Because we needed a study to tell us this.我們就是需要一個這樣的研究。05:21But heres whats going on here.這整個流程就是,05:25The more attractive she finds him,the more sex they have;the more sex they have,the nicer he is to her;the nicer he is當她越覺得丈夫迷人,她就越願意有性愛;他們越享受性愛,他就對妻子越好;而他對她越好,她就越少去抱怨他亂丟臭襪子,然後良性循環下,他們過著幸the more sex they have,the nicer he is to her;the nicer he isto her,the less she nags him about leaving wet towels on thebed-and ultimately,they live happily ever after.去抱怨他亂丟臭襪子,然後良性循環下,他們過著幸福快樂的日子。05:27In other words,men,you might want to pick it up a notch inthe domestic department.換句話說,男人你們該把眼光拉長 好好當家裡的廁所所長。05:40Heres an interesting one.這裡有個有趣的例子,05:46One study found that people who smile in childhoodphotographs are less likely to get a divorce.研究指出,在童年相片裡露出笑容的人,比較不會離婚。05:48This is an actual study,and let me clarify.這個研究是有根據的,先澄清一下,05:55The researchers were not looking at documented self-reportsof childhood happiness or even studying old journals.這個研究不是根據你自己 精挑細選的歡樂相簿,也不是調查你的舊日記,05:59nags:abbr.乙酰谷氨酸合成酶 notch:n.刻痕,凹口;等级;峡谷/vt.赢得;用刻痕计算;在上刻凹痕 documented:adj.备有证明文件的 journals:n.学术期刊(journal的复数);日记;日记账The data were based entirely on whether people lookedhappy in these early pictures.整個數據是純粹取決於 你的幼年照片看起來 快樂不快樂。06:05www.XiYuS锡育软件Now I dont know how old all of you are,but when I was akid,your parents took pictures with a special kind of camerathat held something called film,and,by God,film wasexpensive.我不是很知道你們的歲數,但就我那個年代,父母們拍照必須拿一種很特殊的相機,裡面塞著一個叫底片的東西,這個底片沖洗是要花大錢的,06:12They didnt take 300 shots of you in that rapid-fire digitalvideo mode and then pick out the nicest,smileyest one forthe Christmas card.他們不可能開啟連拍功能,隨便亂拍個300張,然後挑選笑容最燦爛的 來當聖誕卡。06:26Oh no.嘖嘖嘖,沒這麼好康。06:35They dressed you up,they lined you up,and you smiled forthe fucking camera like they told you to or you could kissyour birthday party goodbye.我們整裝排排站,攝影師說笑我們就得笑,然後喀嚓一聲,派對結束。06:37But still,I have a huge pile of fake happy childhood picturesand Im glad they make me less likely than some people toget a divorce.但是,我仍舊有很多 裂嘴大笑的童年照片,非常慶幸它們讓我 減少了離婚的機率。06:44So what else can you do to safeguard your marriage?所以,我們還能做些什麼 來捍衛幸福婚姻?06:53Do not win an Oscar for best actress.千萬不要,贏得奧斯卡最佳女演員獎。06:57(Laughter)Im serious.(觀眾笑聲)我是很正經的。07:00rapid-fire:adj.速射的;急速的 pick out:挑选出 pile:n.堆;大量;建筑群/vt.累积;打桩于/vi.挤;堆积;积累 safeguard:n.安全保护;保卫;保护措施/vt.安全保护,护卫 Oscar:n.奥斯卡(男子名);(美)奥斯卡金像奖;钱Bettie Davis,Joan Crawford,Hallie Berry,Hillary Swank,Sandra Bullock,Reese Witherspoon,all of them single soonafter taking home that statue.貝蒂戴維斯,珍克勞馥,荷莉貝瑞,希拉莉史旺,珊卓布拉克,瑞絲薇絲朋,她們得到奧斯卡獎後 馬上就變單身了。07:04They actually call it the Oscar curse.這是小金人的詛咒,07:12It is the marriage kiss of death and something that shouldbe avoided.婚姻的死亡之吻,我們該全力避免得到這個獎。07:14And its not just successfully starring in films thatsdangerous.而且危險的不只是 當女主角,07:19It turns out,merely watching a romantic comedy causesrelationship satisfaction to plummet.連隨便看個浪漫喜劇片 都導致婚姻幸福指數下降！07:23(Laughter)Apparently,the bitter realization that maybe itcould happen to us,but it obviously hasnt and it probablynever will,makes our lives seem unbearably grim incomparison.(觀眾笑聲)顯然的,很殘酷的事實就是 我們本來有機會體驗浪漫情節,但身邊那位讓一切都變成不可能了。浪漫喜劇讓我們的生活 相對顯得慘不忍睹。07:30And theoretically,I suppose if we opt for a film wheresomeone gets brutally murdered or dies in a fiery car crash,we are more likely to walk out of that theater feeling likeweve got it pretty good.所以理論上來說,我們該反向操作,選看演員都很不幸被謀殺的電影,或是被車撞,然後車子還爆炸,這樣我們離開戲院時,會感到自己的人生還是有光明的。07:44Berry:n.浆果(葡萄,番茄等)/vi.采集浆果 Swank:n.出风头;虚张声势/vi.炫耀;出风头/adj.爱打扮的,华丽的 Bullock:n.小公牛;阉牛 kiss of death:n.死亡之吻(表面看上去有益但实际上具有毁灭性的行为或事务)avoided:v.避免;避免了;回避;使无效(avoid的过去式)starring:n.扮演主角,领衔主演;纯锑表面呈星状花纹 plummet:n.测铅锤,坠子/vi.垂直落下;(价格,水平等)骤然下跌 grim:adj.冷酷的;糟糕的;残忍的 theoretically:adv.理论地;理论上 opt:vi.选择 brutally:adv.残忍地;野蛮地;兽性地 fiery:adj.热烈的,炽烈的;暴躁的;燃烧般的Drinking alcohol,it seems,is bad for your marriage.喝酒,好像也 會對婚姻有負面影響。07:57Yeah.就這樣,08:02I cant tell you anymore about that one because I stoppedreading it at the headline.我沒有辦法多著墨,因為我 讀完這標題就不想看下去了。08:04But heres a scary one:Divorce is contagious.但是接下來這個就驚悚了:離婚是會傳染的。08:0808:08Thats right-when you have a close couple friend split up,itincreases your chances of getting a divorce by 75 percent.是的,當你有個好朋友離婚了,你自己也離婚的機率就提高了百分之75。08:13Now I have to say,I dont get this one at all.我必須說,我不太贊成這一點。08:21My husband and I have watched quite a few friends dividetheir assets and then struggle with being our age and singlein an age of sexting and Viagra and eHarmony.我跟我先生 身邊有許多朋友離婚分家,然後很辛苦的 在不惑之齡過單身生活,仰賴威而鋼或是情色電話 還有網路交友。08:24And Im thinking theyve done more for my marriage than alifetime of therapy ever could.我暗自慶幸擁有這些朋友借鏡,這比婚姻輔導更有威信力。08:38So now you may be wondering,why does anyone getmarried ever?現在,你們大概在想,為什麼人要結婚?08:44Well the U.S.federal government counts more than athousand legal benefits to being someones spouse-a listthat includes visitation rights in jail,but hopefully youllnever need that one.關於這點,美國政府 列出上千條合法益處 保障婚姻關係,其中包括合法探監權。希望你們不太需要用到這條。08:50contagious:adj.感染性的;会蔓延的 quite a few:不少,相当多 assets:n.资产;宝贵的人材;有益的品质;经财产;有利条件(一项)财物;资产(asset的名词复数);(商店,破产者等的)财产;遗产;有价值的人或物 sexting:n.色情短信 therapy:n.治疗，疗法spouse:n.配偶/vt.和结婚 visitation:n.访问;探视;视察;正式访问But beyond the profound federal perks,married peoplemake more money.除了這些聯邦特權,已婚的夫婦有更好的收入,09:02Were healthier,physically and emotionally.更健康的身體,更開朗的心胸。09:08We produce happier,more stable and more successful kids.我們能養出更快樂,更穩定 且更成功的下一代。09:13We have more sex than our supposedly swinging singlefriends-believe it or not.不管你們相不相信,我們比那些單身朋友們 享受更多性愛。09:18We even live longer,which is a pretty compelling argumentfor marrying someone you like a lot in the first place.我們甚至活得更久,這是個挺誘人的好處,代價就只是去跟一個 你本來就很喜歡的人結婚。09:24Now if youre not currently experiencing the joy of the jointtax return,I cant tell you how to find a chore-loving personof the approximately ideal size and attractiveness如果你還沒有親身體會過 夫妻共同節稅的快感,我也無法教你該如何找到一個 喜歡做家事,身材適中,臉蛋標緻,09:33who prefers horror movies and doesnt have a lot of friendshovering on the brink of divorce,but I can only encourageyou to try,because the benefits,as Ive pointed out,aresignificant.朋友不多,喜歡恐怖片,又剛好正要離婚的對象。但我可以鼓勵你去開始尋找,因為婚姻生活的種種好處,是超乎想像的。09:45perks:n.特权;额外津贴(perk的复数);特别待遇/v.打扮;使振作;昂首挺胸(perk的第三人称单数)emotionally:adv.感情上;情绪上;令人激动地;情绪冲动地 swinging:adj.活跃的;极好的;多姿多彩的;性放任的/adv.极好地;极大地/n.性放任/v.摇摆(swing的现在分词);鞭打(swinge的现在分词)compelling:adj.引人注目的;强制的;激发兴趣的/v.强迫;以强力获得(compel的ing形式)in the first place:首先;起初 approximately:adv.大约,近似地;近于 prefers:vt.更喜欢;宁愿;提出;提升/vi.喜欢;愿意hovering:n.停悬;空中悬停/v.徘徊(hover的ing形式);盘旋 brink:n.(峭壁的)边缘The bottom line is,whether youre in it or youre searchingfor it,I believe marriage is an institution worth pursuing andprotecting.無論已婚未婚,你該了解的是 結婚就像是合開一間公司,需要雙方去經營與維護。09:56So I hope youll use the information Ive given you today toweigh your personal strengths against your own risk factors.我希望你們能善用今天得到的情報 來幫助你們衡量 你們婚姻的優勢與劣勢。10:05For instance,in my marriage,Id say Im doing okay.譬如說,我的婚姻生活 目前還算過得去。10:11One the one hand,I have a husband whos annoyingly leanand incredibly handsome.我婚姻的劣勢就是,我有個身材很健美的老公 還很不幸的長得很帥,10:15So Im obviously going to need fatten him up.所以顯然我必須加把勁養肥他。10:22And like I said,we have those divorced friends who maysecretly or subconsciously be trying to break us up.而且我們身邊有很多離婚的朋友 或許會下意識的導致我們分手。10:25So we have to keep an eye on that.我們必須留心這點。10:31And we do like a cocktail or two.而且我們享受喝點小酒。10:34On the other hand,I have the fake happy picture thing.而我的優勢,就是那些笑得很假的童年相片。10:37bottom line:结果;概要;帐本底线 pursuing:n.追求;追逐;追赶/v.从事;追赶(pursue的ing形式)strengths:n.优势,强项(strength的复数形式);长处 annoyingly:adv.恼人地;烦人地;令人不快地(annoying的副词形式)fatten:vt.养肥;使肥沃;使充实/vi.养肥;(靠)发财 subconsciously:adv.潜意识地 keep an eye on:v.照看;留意;密切注视 On the other hand:另一方面And also,my husband does a lot around the house,andwould happily never see another romantic comedy as long ashe lives.喔,還有我的老公幫忙做很多家事,而且在我們有生之年 都會避免去看那些浪漫愛情片。10:41