老友记剧本第九季(共241页).doc

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1、精选优质文档-倾情为你奉上Friends剧本（第九季）901 The One Where No One ProposesScene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engag

2、ement ring.Rachel: Joey.(He turns to face Rachel on one knee with the box open.)Rachel: (seeing the ring) Oh my God. (Pause) Okay.(Joey is stunned.)Cut to Ross getting of an elevator carrying a bouquet of flowers and walking down the hall to Rachels room.Cut back into Rachels room.Rachel: So uh - I

3、guess we should - make it official huh?Joey: Uh - Look Rach - (Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! Its my good friend Ross. Hey Ross.Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.Rachel: Hey you.Joey: Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but Im really more of a candy guy. (Laughs.)Ross: Youre w

4、eird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.Rachel: Uh yeah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.Ross: Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute?Joey: No.Ross: What?Joey: Oh, Im sorry. I meant no.Monica: (entering wit

5、h everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!Mr. Geller: Wheres my granddaughter? Ive been practicing my magic tricks.Chandler: He pulled a quarter out of my ear!Ross: Hey, wheres uh, wheres mom?Mr. Geller: She went to pick up Aunt Liddy.Monica: Oh, Aunt Liddys coming? That means we

6、get five dollars each!Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)Chandler: Okay. Wow.Ross: Uh Dad, Emmas in the nursery. Ill take you now. If you want, but (To Rachel) I really want to talk to you.Rachel: I know, I still need to talk t

7、o you.Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.Phoebe: (To Monica) Oh and I need to talk to you.Monica: About what?Phoebe: To see if you know what these guys are talking about.Opening CreditsScene: Outside the Nursery, everyone but

8、Rachel is standing and looking into the window.Monica: Isnt she beautiful?Mr. Geller: Look at her, my first grandchild.Ross: What about Ben?Mr. Geller: Well of course Ben, I meant my first granddaughter. (To Monica, mouths) Wow.Phoebe: (taking Ross aside) Have umm, have you thought anymore about you

9、 and Rachel?Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.Phoebe: Yay! Its so exciting! Wow, you couldve done that with us there.Ross: Yeah right.Phoebe: Oh sure okay, you can touch yourself in front of us but you cant talk to Rachel.Ross: What?! When hav

10、e I ever touched myself in front of you guys?Phoebe: Oh please! Just before when you were asleep in the lounge! That Armenian family was watching you instead of the TV. Oh, that reminds me. That Mr. Hasmeje still has my Gameboy.Joey: (taking Chandler aside) Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a seco

11、nd?Chandler: Sure.Joey: Dude I just did something terrible.Chandler: That was you?! I thought it was Jack!Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!Chandler: What?! Why does she think that?Joey: Because it kinda looked like I did.Chandler: Again, what?!Joey: Okay well, I was

12、 down on one knee with the ring in my hand - Chandler: As we all are at some point during the day.Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!Chandler: Ross had a ring?! And he was gonna propose?Joey: I guess.Chandler: And y

13、ou did it first?! This is gonna kill him! You know how much he loves to propose!Joey: I know! I know its awful.Chandler: Well, what did she say?Joey: (happily) She said yes.Chandler: Does Ross know?Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?Chandler: Well maybe you dont have to tell him anyt

14、hing.Joey: Oh, I like that. Yeah - Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)Mo

15、nica: I want a baby.Chandler: Honey, weve been over this. I need to be facing the other way.Monica: Come on! Come on, if we have sex again itll double our chances of getting pregnant. Do you think that closets still available?Chandler: Im so tired. (She starts kissing him.) Yeah okay, but no forepla

16、y.Monica: Deal!Back in front of the nursery window.Ross: Dad seriously! Yknow you really should see someone about that!Mr. Geller: Noted.Ross: I wanna go talk to Rachel for a minute, are you gonna be okay alone for a bit?Mr. Geller: Are you kidding me, I could stay and look at her forever.Ross: (not

17、icing something) Actually umm - (He turns Mr. Gellers head to look at Emma.)Scene: Rachels Room, Phoebe is entering.Phoebe: Hey!Rachel: Hi.Phoebe: Are you all right?Rachel: Uhh - I think I just got engaged.Phoebe: Oh my God! He did it?Rachel: Well - did you know he was gonna ask me?Phoebe: Are you k

18、idding? Im like the one who talked him into it. I like to think of myself as the puppet master of the group.Rachel: And you really think this is a good idea?Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired, people.Rachel: I just dont know! It just do

19、esnt feel right.Phoebe: Why?! You two are so meant to be together, everybody thinks so.Rachel: Really?! Even Ross?Phoebe: Especially Ross!Joey: (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh yknow what? Ill-Ill come back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross whos entering.)Ross: Wow! Kind of uh, kind of a f

20、ull house here. Ill guess just - Ill come back. (Ross exits followed by Joey.)Phoebe: There he goes, your fianc閑. Rachel: I guess so.Phoebe: Although he does play with himself in his sleep.Rachel: I cant say that Im surprised.Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a

21、janitors closet door.Ross: Dad, what are you doing?Mr. Geller: I think there are people in there having sex.(Ross turns to look at Joey.)Joey: It cant be me, Im standing right here.Mr. Geller: Wanna peek?Ross: No!Mr. Geller: Come on!Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (

22、Walks away.)Joey: (To Ross) Were not peeking? (Follows him.)Mr. Geller: Well Im peeking. (He peeks.) Oh my God!Chandler: Hello sir, you know Monica.Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.Joey: Hey uh, is it okay to come

23、in?Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I - its beautiful! I love it!Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.(Theres a knock on the door and a nurse enters carrying Emma.)Rachel: Hey!Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?Rachel: Yeah! Hi Emma. Hey, why do you think she wo

24、nt take my breast?Nurse: Its all right honey, it takes some babies a while to get it, but dont worry. Itll happen.Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)Rachel: Okay sweetie, you can do it. Just open up and put it in your mouth.Joey: Dear Lord.Rachel: Im sorry honey, what were you saying?Joey: Oh uh-u

25、h yeah, I think that - Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)Joey:

26、 (To God) Are you kidding me?!Rachel: Its just so frustrating! Why doesnt she want my breast?!Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.Phoebe: Oh hey! Wait up!Ross: Hi!Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anythin

27、g in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.Ross: What, that we had a baby? Come on lets give him a little credit, although he did eat a piece of plastic fruit earlier.Phoebe: No! No, that you and Rachel are engaged!Ross: What?Phoebe: Oh, its a secret. Oh goodie! Yes! We havent done the sec

28、ret thing in a long time.Ross: Phoebe, there is no secret. Okay? I didnt propose.Phoebe: Are you lying? Is this like that time you tried to convince us that you were a doctor?Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.Phoebe: All right, me too. (They go into

29、her room and see that shes sleeping.) Should we wake her up?Ross: No! No, come on let her sleep! Shes so exhausted.Phoebe: And so engaged. (Points to the ring that Rachel is wearing.)Ross: What? (Motions for Phoebe to go outside with him.) Oh my God! She-she thinks were engaged! Why? Why? Why would

30、she think were engaged?!Phoebe: Perhaps because you gave her an engagement ring? Yknow Ross, doctors are supposed to be smart.Ross: I didnt give her that ring!Phoebe: Really?Ross: No!Phoebe: So whose ring is it?Ross: Its mine.Phoebe: Is it an engagement ring?Ross: Yes!Phoebe: But you didnt give it t

31、o her?Ross: No!Phoebe: But you were going to propose?Ross: No!Phoebe: Huh, I might be losing interest in this.Ross: Look. Look, my mom gave me that ring because she wanted me to propose to Rachel, but all I wanted to do is see if she maybe - kinda - wanted ah - to start - things up again.Phoebe: Oh,

32、 what beautiful lukewarm sentiment. Ross: Look, I didnt want to rush into anything. And it seemed like she didnt want to either. But I dont, I dont understand how any of this happened! What? Did she find the ring in my jacket, assume that I was going to propose, throw it on, and-and just start telli

33、ng people?Phoebe: No! No, she said you actually proposed to her.Ross: Well I didnt! I didnt propose! (Pause) Unless uh - (Pause) Did I? I havent slept in forty hours and - it does sound like something I would do.Commercial BreakScene: The Janitors Closet, Chandler and Monica are trying to figure out

34、 what to do now.Chandler: Look, we cant stay in here forever.Monica: Oh, I still cant believe my dad saw us having sex! He didnt make it to one of my piano recitals, but this he sees!Chandler: This is okay. Were all adults here; theres nothing to be ashamed of. Now, lets put our underwear in our poc

35、kets and walk out the door. (They do so and find Mr. Geller leaning against a wall stunned.)Monica: Hi Dad! I can still call you that right?Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.Chandler: I just want you to know that what you witnessed in there, that wasnt for fun.Monica: It wasnt fun?!Chand

36、ler: (To Monica) Why? Why-why-would youWh-why - (To Mr. Geller) Look, I just dont want you to think that were animals who do it whenever we want.Mr. Geller: Oh, I dont think that. Before today I never thought of you two having sex at all. It was a simpler time.Monica: The truth is, Dad, were-were tr

37、ying.Mr. Geller: What?Monica: Yeah, were trying to get pregnant.Mr. Geller: Oh my God! This is so exciting! Well, get back in there! (Points to the closet) Ill guard the door!Monica: Well, thats okay dad, we-we can wait until later.Mr. Geller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont think so! Arent you ovulating?Mon

38、ica: Daddy?!Mr. Geller: Well you gotta get at it princess! When your mother and I were trying to conceive you, whenever she was ovulating, bam, we did it. Thats how I got my bad hip.Chandler: Thats funny, this conversations how I got the bullet hole in my head.Mr. Geller: This one time I had my knee

39、 up on the sink and your mother, she was - Monica: Daddy! I dont think we need to hear about the specific positions you and mom had sex.Mr. Geller: Youre right, youre right. This is about your positions. Now, what I saw in the closet is not the optimum position for conceiving a child, although it mi

40、ght feel good.Monica: I dont feel good right now.Mr. Geller: But pleasure is important, (To Chandler) and it helps if the woman has an orgasm. You up to the task sailor?Chandler: Seriously sir, my brains? All over the wall.Scene: Rachels Room, Monica is entering.Monica: Hey.Rachel: Hey. I need to te

41、ll you something.Monica: Well, nows a good time. Im on my way to have my ears cut off.Rachel: Joey asked me marry him.Monica: What?Rachel: Joey proposed to me.Monica: Is he crazy?! You just had Rosss baby!Rachel: Well, I-I said yes.Monica: What?! Are you crazy? You just had Rosss baby! Its-its so in

42、appropriate. No, its worse than that. Its wrong. Its - It is bigger than mine! (Rachels engagement ring.)Rachel: I know. Days of Our Lives, thank you very much.Monica: You cant marry him!Rachel: Why not? I dont want to do this alone! And hes such a sweet guy and he loves me so much.Monica: Well do y

43、ou love him?Rachel: Sure.Monica: Sure?Rachel: Yeah, I mean whatever.Monica: Honey, the question is - do you really want to marry Joey?Rachel: No. No, I dont. Could you be a dear and go tell him?Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.Chandler: You still havent told Rachel you werent really prop

44、osing?Joey: No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out.Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.Chandler: Go and tell Rachel right now before Ross finds ou

45、t.Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.Chandler: Okay, look, just do it gently.Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in

46、 there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.Scene: Rachels Room, Ross is entering.Ross: Hey.Rachel: Hey.Ross: Listen, I um - I heard about the engagement.Rachel: Surprised?Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um - I didnt propose to you.Rachel: I know.Ro

47、ss: I dont think you do.Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.Rachel: Uh - You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.(Joey enters.)Ross: Joey proposed to you?Joey: I can come back.Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?Joey: No.Rachel: Yes you did!Joey: Actually, technically, I didnt.Rachel: Well then why did you give me a ring?Ross: Wait! Whoa