Unit2写作讲评2.ppt

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1、I. 题目：现今，生活在北京这个大都市，人们可以享受很交通方面的便利，同时也受到很多交通问题的困扰。请根据以下内容要点，写一篇短文，陈述北京交通状况，并针对其中一个问题，提出建议：便利条件 存在问题1. 公交车费低 1.高峰时间交通拥堵 2. 地铁四通八达， 方便快捷 2.私家车过多， 空气污染严重 3 .3. IILayout I. General introduction to the traffic in Beijing. II. Convenience /advantage: (convenient taxi services)III. Problems / disadvantages

2、: IV.Solution: take public transport instead of private carslow price of bus fareshighly developed subwaytraffic jams in rush hours too many private cars, air pollution (traffic accidents) 问题-结构 少主题句 句子繁复，不够简洁 少要点 （不添加要点，不提建议） Firstly,secondly.finally太过生硬，不流畅 自己增添的要点不合理。 如： Students can enjoy a spec

3、ial discount in bus ticket price. Oil price has been going up recently. Good public transport system helps a lot in our daily life.问题-结构 建议太过笼统，不具体。 E.g. We should do something to reduce the traffic jams. The government should think of ways to solve the problem. 建议最好放在最后一段来写。建议最好放在最后一段来写。Correct the

4、 mistakes You can go to everywhere you want by subway. The bus fare in Beijing is much cheaper than many other cities. Traffic accidents have gone up at high speed. Therere many things need to be improved.Correct the mistakes 生造词会，令人费解 And its very dangerous if you get into a dark taxi. illegal taxi

5、 a taxi which doesnt have a business permitA Tip：可以用被动语态 More highways can be constructed. More overpasses can be built for more vehicles to travel at the same time . School buses can be provided, so that the number of private cars can be reduced, especially in rush hours. 每段主题句应涵盖全段中心内容 Use of word

6、s: convenientThe highly developed subways make people convenient. make it convenient for people.翻译：明天下午4点你方便吗？Will four oclock tomorrow be convenient for you? VersionLiving in Beijing, People can enjoy various traffic conveniences. But at the same time, a lot of problems have also been brought about

7、.There are many positive points about Beijings traffic. First of all, the bus fare is cheap and everyone can afford it. Besides, the rail construction is developing so fast that it is more convenient for people to get to their destinations. Also, the overpasses are well-designed, which helps to cut

8、the risk of road accidents.However, there are many things which could be improved. The main problem is the traffic jams in rush hours. It makes people stressed out because they are often late for school or work. Worse still, the number of private cars goes up quickly, resulting in heavier air pollut

9、ion. Besides, the noises made by cars have a bad effect on peoples daily life.To avoid more traffic jams, wed better choose public transport instead of private cars. It will also do good to our environment. 学生作品 Nowadays, transport plays a more and more important part in Beijingers daily life. Peopl

10、e not only benefit but also suffer from it. On the one hand, a number of good points can be listed. First of all, the public transport is very convenient. People can take the subway to go anywhere in a short time. Also, the bus fare is so low that everyone can afford it. Whats more, taking taxis is

11、a good way for people who have urgent things to deal with. On the other hand, therere many things which need to be improved. Above all, people especially students may easily get stuck in traffic jams during rush hours. Besides, a large number of private cars cause serious air pollution. Last but not

12、 least, therere not enough parking lots for cars, which bothers more and more car owners. To sum up, transport system in Beijing is well developed but it is obviously not perfect. In my opinion, as for the traffic jams, the government should call on more people to take public transport. People who take public transport to go to work or school should be praised. 101高一1班 张戎捷 13分