惭愧和内疚究竟有什么区别--高考英语学习提升课堂.docx

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1、高考英语学习提升课堂：惭愧和内疚究竟有什么区别？惭愧和内疚究竟有什么区别？今天就来分享一下。一.惭愧和内疚的区别These are emotions that we often interchangeably, but it turns out theyre quite different. So when people feel shame, they feel bad about themselves: Im a bad person for having done this. When people feel guilt, they feel bad not about the self

2、, but about a specific behavior I did a bad thing.我们经常会交替使用内疚和惭愧，但其实他们是有些许区别。当人们感到惭愧，他们为自己而感到难过：“我做了这件事因此我是个坏人。”而当人们感到内疚是，他们是为某一特定行为难过，而不是为自己而难过“我做了一件坏事。”And its a subtle distinction, but it turns out that it leads to very different motivations这两者虽然只有这细微的差别，但却会导致截然不同的动机。1.turn out 原来是，其实是，结果发现It tur

3、ns out that she had known him when they were children.结果发现，她和他从小就认识。2.subtle distinction 细微差别This may sound like a subtle distinction, but it isnt.这听起来应该有细微差别，然而并没有。二.什么是愧疚So, when people feel shame about Who I am because I did a bad thing, Im a horrible person, theres a sense of shrinking and being

4、 small, a sense of worthlessness and powerlessness. 当人们感到愧疚，“我干了一件坏事，我是一个可怕的人，”这时会感到自己的渺小，会有一种无用感与无力感。And people feel shame, they want to hide. They want to sink into floor and disappear. They minimize. They often blame other people. But what they dont do, typically, is try to make thing better.当人们感

5、到愧疚，他们会想躲起来。他们会想钻进地底消失不见。他们贬低自己，是不是会责备别人，但他们通常不会让事情变得更好。三.什么是内疚？When people feel guilt about a specific behavior, I feel bad that I didi that, theyre focused on the behavior and the effects on other people, and that seem to push people in a much more constructive direction. People who feel guilt abo

6、ut a behavior without feeling shame about the self are more inclined to confess, apologize, in some way, try to repair the harm that was done.当人们对某个特定行为感到内疚，“我做了这样的事情让我觉得不安”，他们更关注其行为与对他人的影响，而这会推动人往更具建设性的方向。当人们为其行为感到内疚时，他不会为自己感到愧疚，这会减少他的忏悔感，同时，他们会尽力去减少自己所造成的伤害。1.constructive direction 有建设性的方向They ten

7、d to take the conversation in a constructive direction.他们更想在有建建设性的方向上进行沟通交流。可以看到，其实惭愧和内疚是有区别的，而且其区别往往会让人采取不同的行动。在日常生活中应该怎么样去应对呢？一.如何把愧疚转化为内疚？I think that just knowing the difference between the two is sometimes anaha experiencefor people, if you can identify when you feel shame and sort of do some d

8、ouble-checking, you know, Is it really fair for me to feel like a bad person because I lost my temper with my kids today? Dose that mean Im a horrible par ten? Or am I generally a good parent, but this was a bad day, and I did a bad thing and let me address that and makeamends, reconnect with my chi

9、ld and think about ways to avoid that going forwards,as opposed togetting mired in shame, shame, shame.我认为仅仅知道这两者的区别就足以给人吨无感，同时当你感到愧疚时，你能对此反复核实。“因为我今天对孩子发脾气了，现在让我感到自己像个坏人，这合理吗？这是否意味着我是一个糟糕的家长？或是说我总体上来说是个好家长，但今天是糟糕的一天，而我做了一件坏事，让我把它解决掉，并做一些补偿，重新连接我与孩子的关系，并找出方法避免这种情况再发生，”而不是陷入无尽的愧疚当中。1.aha experience 顿

10、悟感Eventually we get thatAha experience.事实上，我们确实是有所顿悟。2.as opposed to 而不是Theboxis made ofplastic, asopposedtowood.这箱子是由塑料做的，而不是木头。I think shame is such a selfish emotion. Its all about me. Its not about the person that hurt. Its, Me, me, me, me, Im a horrible person, witchtakes the focus off of the p

11、erson youve harmed.我认为愧疚是一种自私的情绪。这里面所有的情绪都是关于我，而不是关于那个被伤害的人。这全是“我，我，我，我是一个糟糕的人，”这让你不再关注那个被你伤害的人。1.takes the focus off 移开注意力，忽视Shetakes the focus offyour hair and puts the focus on you.将你的集中力从头发移开，集中在你自己身上。二.如何处理生活中的“被期待”？Yes, I guess it depends whose expectations youre thinking of. If its our own ex

12、pectations, maybe they werent realistic, or maybe we expected too much. I think that in this world now, which moves so fast, I mean everybodys overloaded. Theres something wrong there!是的，我认为这取决于你认为这是来自于谁的期待。假如这是来自于我们自己的期待，可能是因为他们并不现实，或者是我们期待过大。我认为现在这世界发展迅速，每个人都负担过重，这其中有问题。Aboutmeasuring up toother p

13、eoples expectation, thats a really important one, and I think its critical to separate out what other peoples expectations are of you and what you own expectations are, what your own values are. And we care about what loves one and other people think about us, but ultimately, we want to be true to o

14、ur own values and be sensitive to others who may have different feelings, different ideas. Explain to the other person, You know, you expect me to do X, I understand that youd like me to do that, but Im doing Y, and this is why. Its really important to me.关于满足被人的期待，这是非常重要的一点。我认为关键要将别人对你的期待、你对自己的期待以及你的自我价值区分开来。我们很在意所爱之人与其他人对于自己的想法，但最终，我们会想实现自己的价值，而且会对其他有不同感受，不同想法的人感到敏感。向他们解释，“你希望我去做这件事，我很理解你想让我去做这件事，但我在做另外一件事，这对我来说非常重要。”1.measuring up to 达到（期待）Is itmeasuring up toits name?这是否名如其实？学科网（北京）股份有限公司