（整理版高中英语）高考英语书面表达0301考场作文评析（3）.doc

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1、高考英语书面表达03-01：考场作文评析3试题来源(省石庄高级高三学情调研检测)请根据以下两幅图写一篇短文。注意：1.描述图片内容。描述时要注意图中人物的表情；对此漫画的感受和观点；3.写作时要适当地发挥，语言连贯；4.词数：150左右。 这原是省市金陵高三第一学期期中考试的试题，但我们对原卷已经做了适当的修改，增加了表达的难度。(7)From my point of view, what the mother did was wrong. (8)As we all know, parents are childrens first teachers. (9)Therefore, I thin

2、k parents should not only care for their childrens health, but their minds. (10)In addition, they should let their children know its a pleasure to help others who are in trouble. 【习作评析】在评析考生考场习作之前，先让我们来看一看该书面表达的最根本的要点是什么。以上要点必须在书面表达中有所表述，缺一不可。【习作的亮点】全文共10句3.习作对主题Education, which has always been a ho

3、t topic, plays a very important role in todays world .But not every parent knows how to educate their children correctly.的概括非常精炼，恰到好处。4.But not every parent knows how to educate their children correctly.这一句的使用说明作者对全部否认和局部否认句掌握得很好；谈谈对漫画中母亲的做法的看法非常明确。在说到建议时，有理有节。特别是最后一句“In addition, they should let th

4、eir children know its a pleasure to help others who are in trouble. 【习作的缺点】2.某些句型的运用上有错误如：(5)However, in the second picture, an oil bottle fell down and the mother criticized angrily the little boy didnt straighten the bottle up. 动词 “criticize后面不接 that 从句。此句应改成“However, in the second picture, an oil

5、 bottle fell down and seeing the little boy didnt straighten it up, the mother criticized him angrily【修改后的习作】Education, which has always been a hot topic, plays a very important role in todays world .But not every parent knows how to educate their children correctly.As is shown in the first picture,

6、 when a little girl fell down, a little boy wanted to help her. But his mother prevented him and said, “You cant, otherwise someone else would say that it was you that knocked her off. However, in the second picture, an oil bottle fell down but the little boy didnt straighten it. So the mother criti

7、cized him angrily when he yelled, If I had done that, you would say the bottle was brought down by me. Hearing his explanation, the mother was shocked.From my point of view, what the mother did was wrong. As we all know, parents are childrens first teachers. Therefore, I think parents should not onl

8、y care for their childrens health, but their minds. In addition, they should let their children know its a pleasure to help others who are in trouble. 【参考答案】附录：请根据以下两幅图写一篇短文，短文内容应包括以下几个要点： 妈妈阻止儿子去扶摔倒的女孩； 儿子对于倒了的油瓶置之不理； 写作时要适当地发挥，语言连贯，要写出妈妈的惊诧，还要写自己对此幅漫画的感受和观点；词数：150左右。 认真看图，结合文字和图画，确立所要表达的主题是什么。这是在家

9、庭教育中比拟常见的现象：家长用双重标准去教育自己的孩子。根据根本的价值观，我们可以归纳出图画所要表达的主题是：As can be seen from the cartoons, it is a story about a bad example of family education .围绕确立的主题，仔细看图和文字，列出图中的要点。人物：小男孩、妈妈以及跌倒的小女孩情景和动作：小男孩要去帮助小女孩，妈妈阻止儿子去扶摔倒的女孩,并对儿子说：“不要扶，否那么人家会说是你把她碰倒的。人物：小男孩和妈妈情景和动作：妈妈看到儿子对于倒了的油瓶置之不理；小男孩对妈妈说： “我扶了，你会说是我碰倒的妈妈很

10、是震惊。注意虚拟语气的运用Mom saw that her son ignored the fallen oil bottle on the ground . The boy was seen sitting leisurely with an oil bottle lying on the ground besides his feet. The boy said to his mother, “If I had lifted the oil bottle, you would think that it was me who brought it down. The boy explain

11、ed to his mother that had he lifted the oil bottle, she would think that it was him who brought it down. 注意虚拟语气的运用Hearing his sons explanation, Mom was shocked/astonished/surprised.围绕漫画主题自拟感想我对漫画中母亲的做法看法：不同意建议解决的方法父母不仅要关心孩子的身体，还要关心他们的思想；父母应该让孩子知道帮助处在困难中的人是一件快乐的事。遣词造句注意多重表达I disagree with what the mo

12、ther did in the story. In my opinion, the mother shouldnt educate his son in this way.Parents are their childrens first teachers ,so they should set a good example to them.As their first teachers, parents should set a good example to their children.I think parents should not only care for their chil

13、drens health, but their minds. For example, they should let their children 连贯成篇【参考范文】一As can be seen from the cartoons, it is a story about a bad example of family education. In the first picture, a boy was trying to help a girl who fell over on the ground while his Mom prevented him from doing so,

14、saying “Dont do that, otherwise others would think it was you who knocked her known. In the second picture, the boy was seen sitting leisurely with an oil bottle lying on the ground besides his feet. “Why cant you straighten it up? she asked angrily, but she was greatly shocked by the explanation fr

15、om the boy, “If I had lifted the oil bottle, you would think that it was me who brought it down. 【参考范文】二As can be seen from the cartoons, it is a story about a bad example of family education. In the first picture, a boy was trying to help a girl who fell over on the ground while his Mom persuaded h

16、im not to do so, saying “Dont do that, otherwise others would think it was you who knocked her known. In the second picture, the boy was seen sitting leisurely with an oil bottle lying on the ground besides his feet. Mom was greatly shocked by the explanation from the boy: “If I had lifted the oil b

17、ottle, you would think that it was me who brought it down.I disagree with what the mother did in the story. As we all know, parents are the first teachers. I think parents should not only care for their childrens health, but their minds. They should let their children know its a pleasure to help others who are in trouble.