英语趣味阅读.docx
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1、Four short words sum up what has lifted most successful individuals above the crowd: a little bit more.-author-date英语趣味阅读英语趣味阅读Jim and Mary were both patients in a Mental Hospital. One day while they were walking by the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bo
2、ttom. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.When the medical director became aware of Marys heroic act he immediately reviewed her file and called her into his office. Mary, I have good news and bad news. The good news is youre being discharged because since
3、you were able to jump in and save the life of another patient, I think youve regained your senses. The bad news is Jim, the patient you saved, hung himself with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom,hes dead.Mary replied, He didnt hang himself, I hung him up to dry.Jim和Mary都是精神病院里的病人。一天,他们沿着医院的游泳池散步,Jim
4、突然跳入泳池的深水区,他沉到了底部。Mary立刻跳下去救他,她潜到水底,把Jim拉了上来。当院长听闻了Mary的英勇行为后,他立刻翻看了她的病历档案,把她叫进了自己的办公室,“Mary,我有一个好消息和一个坏消息要告诉你。好消息是你能跳入水中救其他病人,这说明你的意识已经恢复了,你可以出院了。坏消息就是,Jim,你救的那个病人,他还是用自己的浴袍带子在浴室上吊自杀了。”Mary说:“他没有自杀,是我把他吊起来好让他晾干。”FiveHundredTimes五百遍In the traffic court of a large mid-western city, a young lady was b
5、rought before the judge to answer a ticket given her for driving through a red light. She explained to his honor that she was a school teacher and requested an immediate disposal of her case in order that she might hasten on to her classes. A wild gleam came into the judges eye. You are a school tea
6、cher, eh? said he. Madam, I shall realize my lifelong ambition. Sit down at that table and write I went through a red light five hundred times.在中西部一个大城市的交通法庭里,一位年轻女士被带到法官面前,她由于开车闯红灯被开了罚单。女士向法官解释,她是一名学校老师,请求法官马上处理她的案子,以便可以赶回去上课。法官眼中闪过一丝狡黠,说道:“你是学校的老师,对吗?女士,我马上要实现我毕生的愿望了。在那张桌子旁坐下,写我开车闯了红灯500遍。”Yourhor
7、secalled马打电话A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.He asks, What was that for?She says, I found a piece of paper in your pocket with Betty Sue written on it.He says, Jeez, honey, Betty Sue was the name of the horse I bet
8、on. She shrugs and walks away.Three days later hes reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.He asks, What was that for?She answers, Your horse called.一个家伙正在看报纸,他的妻子走到他身后,用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问道:“这是为什么?”她说:“我在你口袋里发现了一张写有Betty Sue的纸条。”他说:“
9、哎呀,亲爱的,Betty Sue是我赌的那匹马的名字。”她耸了耸肩,走了。 三天后他正在看报纸,妻子走到他身后,又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。他问:“这又是为什么?”她答道:“你的马打电话来了。”好消息坏消息!An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. Ive got good news and bad news, the owner replied. The good news is that a gentleman inquired
10、 about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all fifteen of your paintings.Thats wonderful! the artist exclaimed, Whats the bad news?. With concern, the gallery owner replied, The guy was your doctor.一名艺术家问画廊老板,最近有没有人对他展出的画感兴趣。“这
11、有好消息和坏消息,”老板回答。“好消息是有一位先生咨询你的作品,他想知道在你死后你的画会不会升值。我告诉他你的画会升值,他就把你的15幅画全都买走了。”“真是太好了”,艺术家是喜形于色,“那坏消息是什么?”带着关心的口吻,画廊老板回答,“买画的人是你的医生”。Story 107Fear is only six inches deep故事107 六英尺的恐惧A man walking in the nightslippedfrom a rock.一个人在赶夜路时,突然从岩石上跌了下去。Afraid that he would fall down thousands of feet, becaus
12、e he knew that place was a very deepvalley, he took hold of a branch that was hanging overthe rock.他吓得赶紧抓住了岩石上的树枝,因为他知道这一带有个深谷,一不小心就会跌入上千英尺的深渊。In the night all he coulds see was abottomlessabyss.一晚上,他唯一能看到的就是深不见底的峡谷。He shouted, his own shout reflected backthere was nobody to hear.他大呼救命,但只听到了自己的回音-没有
13、人能听到他呼救。You can imagine that man and his whole night of scare.你可以想象一下他的处境和整晚的恐惧。Every moment there was death, his hands were becoming cold, he was losing hisgrip死神随时都可能降临。他的手开始发凉,渐渐地抓不住了And as the sun came out he looked down and he laughed.当太阳升起的时候,他朝下看了看,笑了。There was no abyss. Just six inches down
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