英语长篇笑话故事精选.docx

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1、英语长篇笑话故事英语长篇笑话故事 篇1A young mother believed that it was very wrong to waste any food when there were so many hungry people in the world. One evening, she was giving her small daughterher tea before putting her to bed. First she gave her a slice of fresh brown bread and butter, but the child said that

2、 she did not want it like that. She asked for some jam on her bread as well.Her mother looked at her for a few seconds and then said, When I was a small girl like you, Lucy, I was always given either bread and butter, or bread and jam, but never bread with butter and jam.Lucy looked at her mother fo

3、r a few moments with pity in her eyes and then said to her kindly, Aren't you pleased that you've come to live with us now?一位年轻的母亲认为，世界上还有很多受饥饿的人，奢侈食物真不应当。有天晚上，在支配幼小的女儿睡觉之前，她给女儿喂夜宵。她先给她一片簇新的黑面包和黄油，但孩子说她不喜爱这样吃。她还要一些果酱涂在面包上。母亲看了女儿几秒钟，随即说道，露茜，当我象你一样小的时候，总是吃面包加黄油，或者面包加果酱，从来没有面包既加黄油又加果酱。露茜看了母亲一会儿

4、，眼中露出怜悯的神情，然后她柔声说：您现在能跟我们生活在一起莫非不感到兴奋吗?英语长篇笑话故事 篇2A father said to his sons: Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie. Who is going to eat it?The oldest son replied: Father, Ill eat it all!The father then said: Tomorrow Im going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?The same son answered: Fath

5、er,Ill eat it all!The father added: Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?The oldest son answered again: Its always me, always me. Now its someone elses turn to volunteer!总是我一位父亲对他的儿子们说：“你们的妈妈明天要烙一张馅饼，谁要吃呢?”大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”父亲接着说：“明天我要杀一口猪，谁要吃呢?”又是大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”父亲又说

6、：“明天我们要耕地，谁想耕地呢?”大儿子再次回答道：“总是我，总是我，这次还是让其他人来做吧。”英语长篇笑话故事 篇3Good news: Two boys went out climbing trees.好消息：两名男童出去爬树。Bad news: wone of them fell out.坏消息：其中有一人摔下来了。Good news: There was a hammockbeneathhim.好消息：他下面有一个吊床。Bad news: There was a rakebeside the hammock.坏消息：吊床旁边有一个耙子。Good news: He missed the

7、rake.好消息：他和耙子擦肩而过。Bad news: He missed the hammock too !坏消息：他也和吊床擦肩而过！英语长篇笑话故事 篇4The squad（班，小队） were having visual training. One smart recruit（新兵，招募） was asked by the officer to count how many men composed a digging party in a distant field. The party was so faraway（遥远的，恍惚的） that the men appeared as

8、 mere dots, but unhesitatingly（快速地） the recruit replied：Sixteen men and a sergeant（中士，军士） , sir.Right, but how do you know there's a sergeant there?He's not doing any digging, sir.班里正在进行“视力训练”。一个聪慧伶俐的新兵被班长叫出来数远处旷野上采掘队的人数。采掘队在很远的地方，那些人看起来只是一些小点儿。但是这个新兵坚决果断地回答。“十六个兵外加一个中士，长官。”“正确，可是你怎么知道那儿有一个中

9、士？”“他不干活，长官。”英语长篇笑话故事 篇5不必再看眼科医生了It had been many years since my last eye exam,and my wife was pestering me to make an appointment. The more she nagged , the more I procrastinated. Finally，she made an appointment for me.我己经许多年没做眼睛检查了。我妻子总是催我去挂个号。她越是督我，我越是耽搁不去。最终，她替我挂了个号。The day before I was to see t

10、he doctor，I was in an affectionate mood. After kissing and hugging her, I told her she really looked. good to me.,在我去见医生的前一天，我的.心情特殊好。我对妻于又是亲又是抱，还说她是我眼里最美丽的女人.That does it,”she said.“I'm canceling your appointment.她说:“这回眼睛没问题了，那我现在就去把号退了。”英语长篇笑话故事 篇6After my husband，John，and I moved to Michigan

11、from Nebraska，our new friends，proud of their beautiful tree一lined roads，teased us about the Mid-west's dull，flat，treeless land. When my parents，Nebraska farmers，visited us，I asked them about their trip.我和丈夫约翰从内布拉斯加搬到密西根后，我们新相识的挚友们总为他们漂亮的林荫大过引以为荣.他们嘲讽我们的中西部平原荒芜、贫瘩，连株枯树都没有。后来我父母从内布拉斯加的老家来看我们，我问他们对

12、旅途的感受。What a boring drive，my father replied.Once you get to Michigan, there's nothing to see but trees.我父亲埋怨着:“枯澡，乏味，一进入密西根，除了树什么都没有。”英语长篇笑话故事 篇7The little girl was sitting in her grandfather's lap as he read her a story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up t

13、o touch his wrinkled cheek. By and by she was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again.小女孩坐在祖父的膝上读故事。她时时常的从书上转移视线抬起头来遇到他褶皱的脸。随后她摸摸自己的脸颊又回去摸摸祖父的。Finally she spoke, Granddaddy, did God make you?最终她问：“爷爷，是上帝创建的你吗？”Yes, sweetheart he answered, God made me a long time ago.“是啊，甜心。”他回答道：“上帝很久前创建出

14、了我。”Oh she said, then Granddaddy, did God make me too?“喔。”她回答。接着又问道：“爷爷，上帝也创建了我吗？”Yes, indeed honey he assured her. God made you just a little while ago.“是啊，当然了珍宝。”他向她保证：“上帝只是不久前创建的你。”Oh she said. Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, God's getting better at it now isn't he?“喔。”她回答。又分别感受了两人的脸颊，边视察边说：“上帝的技术越来越好了，是不？”