The differences between Chinese family and American family中美家庭差异研究.docx

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1、The differences between Chinese family and American familyAbstract：Family is the basic miniature of the social economic activity, and it is the basic unit that constitutes the society. The values of the society rely on peoples family values in a large degree. However, due to the difference of geogra

2、phical and historical background, religion and belief, different nations have their own family values.A clear and direct contrast between Chinese and American family values can bridge over their communication gap.The paper first introduced the Definitions of FamiliesIt then，focuses on the difierent

3、types of families in China and AmericaIn the following section，the paper proceeds to elaborate the extension of family to social relationshipsThe Paper ends by discussing the difierent attitude towards Family membersKeywords：family；values；social relationships；filial piety；age；friendshipThe Family is

4、 the basic unit of society.It reflects the ethical values of a society,its cultural characteristies and the unique features of a nationThe family is among the oldest and the most fundamental of all human institutionsThis echoes of Galvin and Brommels words that we were born into a family,mature in a

5、 family,form new families，and leave them at our deathFamily life is a universalhuman experienceThe family is also an expe rience that helps shape the way in which one sees and interacts with the world（Davis，2001）Many anthropologists and sociologists (DENC，1988) have said that describing the family i

6、n a society is sufficient to show the true quality and characteristies of the nation1Definitions of FamilyTraditionally speaking, family should be defined as a group of people related by blood, marriage or adoption, living together, to form economic ties, to fertilize and to bring up children. Accor

7、ding to this idea, families form the continuation through child-rearing. “Family is the basic unit of a society; it is very much like a mirror, reflecting the societys cultural characteristics, moral beliefs, economic and political relations and other social problems.” Different cultures create diff

8、erent families, which at the same time cause different concepts of families. Consequently, the different concepts of family between China and America are ascribed to different cultural contexts in the two countries. Cultural traditions and family values vary from country to country; therefore, to un

9、derstand the historical development of Chinese and American families, the basic model, and the relationship among the family members will, undoubtedly, help those who are involved in cross-cultural communication.2Functions and types of familiesAs has been stated abovethe family is the most important

10、 unit in all societies.But due to the difierent cultures and traditions in diferent countries，the configurations of the family are also diferentIn America,the dominant type of family is the nuclear family(mother,father and dependent children)In addition，there are family types like single-parent fami

11、ly and live-in couples(heterosexual or homosexual，with or without child)After their children coming of age，their grown children usually move out of their parents household and start to live on their ownStewart notes that children at the age of 22 or above usually pay their living expenses if they st

12、ill live in their parentshousewhich shows their independence,self-reliance and self-responsibilityMiddle aged and elderly people generally do not live with their married childrenHoweve parents usually keep close contact with their grown children and take great interest in their grandchildren（Steward

13、,1972）On holidays，members of the larger family group-grandparents，aunts，uncles and cousins often dine togetherThe traditional popular view held that the typical type of family is the extended family of several generationsAs a matter of fact，it was an ideal for most people even in feudal society beca

14、use of economi c and inter-pe rsonal relationship pressuresSo the stem family(consists of two or more generations with one married couple in each generation)was the popular form throughout historyBut with the progress of modernization，the number of nuclear families is on the riseAccording to statist

15、icsabout 30 of famifies are stem familiesThis is especially common in fural areas in China（CHU，1993）Chinese culture has been defined as a collectivist cultureIn traditional Chinese culture，people attach more important to their families than they do to themselvesThe interests and the wishes of the fa

16、mily are usually given priorit yChinese children are brought up to seek fulfillment with others rather than individuallyOne member of the family getting a position in the government would bring honor to the whole famil; whereas，ones breach of law would bring shame to the whole familyEven today,a lot

17、 of Chinese students work very hard for the sake of their fami liesSo we can see that family loyalty is an mportant value inChinese culture3Social relationships：The extension of the familyIn a family, the basic relationship is filial piety, marriage and family education. Any kind of life philosophy,

18、 if not pay attention to this fundamental relationship, can not be considered as an appropriate philosophy. American family members pay great attention to the concepts of individual equality, independence, individual right and family relationship, among which the most prominent concepts are independ

19、ence and equality. Chinese families focus more on seniority relation, family interdependence, filial piety, and the family happiness of having many children and grandchildren. Cultural differences between China and America lead to their differences in family values, as well as other family-related p

20、roblems. As a result, it is of great significance to analyze different family values in China and America.In all the Chinese relationships，family relationship is the most important oneBesides ones immediate family members，there are a lot of near and distan t rdmions and all the other social relation

21、ships be aring resemblance to the fami ly relationshipSo we say that these social relationships are the extensions of the family relationship（Galvin,1991）Friendship has diferent meanings in Chinese culture and American cultureIn America，it is hard to find two friends who keep in touch for decades of

22、 years，because pe ople are extremely mobileEvery year about 40 mi llion Americans change residencesThat statistics suggests that everyone moves every five or six yearsEven in the same place，American s tend to have diferent circles of friends，for instance，one group of friends for playing basketball，o

23、ne group for workout and one group for travelingBut all those groups are independentIt is also common for friends to help each other in the StatesBut generally speaking，friends do not want to shoulder too many responsibilities and obligmionsChinese have a diferent attitude towards friendshipChinese

24、are likely to keep life-long friends，which are considered to be the ideal friendshipFriends try their best to help their friends in whatever way（HU，1991&1999）Good friends treat one another like sisters an d brothersIn the past，it was not unusual for friends of roughly the sarfle age to swear oaths o

25、f fidelity to each other that brought them into a relationship of sworn brotherhood(or less frequently sworn sisterhood)In theory,and occasionally in practice，such alliances were honored by families as creating family tiesFriendship was actuahy enhanced in this way They address each other by using t

26、he addressing words tiley use with their real brothers an d sisters1ike elder bother or elder siste.They also address their friends parents in the same way as they address their own uncles an dauntstheir friendschildren are their nephews and niecesSo they sound like a big familyThis extends to all t

27、he people in the people in the community,even people on the streetThey use addressing words like uncle，aunt”，“grandpa，grandma，etcaccording to the addresse s age and gender. A further extension of the family relationship is the relationship-networkAmericans also have their relationship-networkBut it

28、is a far cry from the Chinese relationship-network in depth and extensionChinese people consider building relationships is essential to ones success in lifeBecause whatever they do，ranging from sending their children to school to establishing businesses，they have you exercise their relationships wit

29、h their family members，relatives，colleagues，even new acquaintancesNowadays，westemers understand well the Chinese concept of the relationship-networkMany westemers are committed to building their own personal relationship-network in the Chinese business circle and political arenaChinese people tend t

30、o be more aware of the connections they have as members of their social groups, that is, they put a great emphasis on collectivism and are likely to pay much attention to the consequences of their actions on other members of their groups and even the whole group. They think if they do something wron

31、g, it is probable for them to have a harmful influence on other members and the whole group, while if they win an honor, they will possibly attribute it to other members and the whole group as well. American people tend to lay stress on their independence and individualism, and it is now the corners

32、tone of American values and permeates every aspect of their society. Americans believe that they have control over their destiny; and they are more likely to concern about their own freedom of activism than their relationships with other members of the group. As for American people, individualism di

33、splays itself in the following aspects, namely, individual initiative, independence, individual expression and privacy.（Samovar,2000）4The attitude towards Family membersChinese concept of filial piety “Xiao”, the Chinese word for filial piety, is the most prominent characteristic of traditional Chin

34、ese culture. It has been extolled as the highest virtue in China for centuries and must be shown towards both the living and the dead. The term “filial” denotes the respect and obedience that a child should show to his parents, especially to his father. In Chinese history, “filial piety” is the earl

35、iest ethical moral that influences our family concepts. It is the theme of Chinese culture and affects all aspects of Chinese peoples lives and Chinese society is built upon the doctrine of it（Chow,1999）. The definition includes the responsibility of each person to be good to ones parents; to take c

36、are of ones parents; to engage in good conduct not just towards parents but also outside the home so as to bring a good name to ones parents and ancestors; to perform the duties of ones job well so as to obtain the material means to support parents as well as carry out sacrifices to the ancestors; n

37、ot to be rebellious; to show love, respect and support; to display courtesy; to ensure male heirs, uphold fraternity among brothers; to display sorrow for their sickness and death; and to carry out sacrifices after their death. Secondly, according to the five relationships, the Five Bonds are: Ruler

38、 to Ruled, Father to Son, Husband to Wife, Elder Brother to Younger Brother and Friend to Friend. Specific duties are prescribed to each of the participants in these sets of relationships（Chen, 2000）. American concept of filial piety In America, filial piety is reflected more in the religious cultur

39、e than in the behaviors of children to their parents（Larry,2000）. There is little social significance in American “filial piety culture”, while its family significance is only manifested in respecting to the parents, but the respect doesnt mean obedience to their parents. Thats because what American

40、 people emphasize are independence and equality among family members. In the comparative study of Chinese and American cultures, except for “the Bible”, there is almost no literature which describes filial piety systematically, while the situation in China is quite opposite. What American philosophe

41、rs focus on is not the family pension, but the social pension, because supporting the parents is not the obligation of the children. This has led to the fast development of old-age pension but not the filial piety. It is quite different from China whose pension system is not perfect and rural city c

42、itizens have no choice but to depend on their children to support.“The family is also the first institution to introduce the child to the notion of age-gradingan important perceptual attribute that greatly influences the way individuals perceive youth as well as old age”The dominant American culture

43、 prefers youth to old age，because the skills and knowledge of the elderly often become obsolete in America such a rapidly changing countryAccording to Ethel and Tiersky，about 40 of the nations elderly live in poverty or near-povertyM any struggles along on the meager monthly income they get from the

44、 govemment programs to supply free food and necessary services to the elderlyNo Americans like to be referred to old（Falbo,1982）But in China，older people are highly respected because of their experience and wisdom（Du,1992）HU and Grove note that the chief determinant of relative power is seniorityThe

45、 hierarchy associated with age in Chinese culture is very clearThe Chinese family is hierarchically organized，with the prime institutionalized authority be ing vested in the senior-most maleAs is stated above，no two members of a Chinese fami ly are equal in authorityTraditionally at least，senior gen

46、erations are superior to junior generations；older people are superior to younger oneThe respect and admi ration to the elder are clearly manifested in Chinese vocabulary,in which a lot of the words and expressions contained the Chinese character wordlao(oldin English)suggest a positive meaning，for e

47、xample：“lao shi”(“teacher”in English)，“lao lian”(“experienced”in English)5ConclusionSuccinctly,the cultural diferences between Chinese family values and American family values are reflected in almost all aspects of family lifeThe present discussion focuses on the major aspects，iethe configurations o

48、f the family,social relationships and their diferent attitudes to ageA good understanding of the diferences will surely facilitate the cross-cultural communication of the two peoplesReferences ：Chen, X. and M. Silverstein, “Intergenerational social support and the psychological well-being of older p

49、arents in China.” Research on Aging, 2000.Chow, N. “Diminishing filial piety and the changing role and status of the elders in Hong Kong.” International Journal of Aging, 1999.CHU G C.& JU Y 1993.The greet wall in ruins：Communication and culture change in ChinaNew York：State University of New YorkPressDavis, L. Doing Cultural: Cross-Cultural Communication in Action M. Beijing: Foreig