老友记第一季01剧本(18页).doc

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1、-老友记第一季01剧本-第 18 页Friends剧本（第一季）101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.Monica: Theres nothing to tell! Hes just some guy I work with! 没什么好说的！他不过是我的同事！Joey: Cmon, youre going out with the guy! Theres

2、gotta be something wrong with him! 少来了，你和那个人一起出去！和你交往的男人一定有问题！Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece? 打住，乔伊，最下留德。他驼背？即驼背又戴假发？Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? 慢着，他吃粉笔吗？(They all stare, bemused.)Phoebe: Just, cause, I dont want her to go through what I went t

3、hrough with Carl- oh! 我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. Its just two people going out to dinner and- not having sex. 各位别急，这不算是约会。我们不过是出去一起吃晚餐，而不是做爱。Chandler: Sounds like a date to me. 听起来像是说我的约会。Time LapseChandler: Alright, so Im back in high school, Im standing

4、in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked. 记得中学时代的梦， 我站在自助餐厅， 突然发现自己全身赤裸。All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream. 我做过那样的梦。Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize theres a phone. there. 我低头一看， 看见有一支电话在那儿。Joey: Instead of.? 而不是？Chandler: Thats right. 没错。Joey: Never had that dream. 我没做过那

5、样的梦Phoebe: No. 没有Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I dont know what to do, everybody starts looking at me. 那支电话突然响起， 而我不知道怎么办， 每个人都开始望着我。Monica: And they werent looking at you before?! 他们以前不看你吗？Chandler: Finally, I figure Id better answer it, and it turns out its my mother, wh

6、ich is very-very weird, because- she never calls me! 结果是我妈打来， 我感到很奇怪， 因为我妈不曾打过电话给我！Time Lapse, Ross has entered.Ross: (mortified) Hi. 嗨Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. 这家伙向我打招呼时我就想自杀。Monica: Are you okay, sweetie? 你还好吧？Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my

7、small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck. 我感觉有人把手伸入我的喉咙 抓起我的肠子， 从我的口中取出， 然后绑在我脖子上Chandler: Cookie? 要 饼干吗？Monica: (explaining to the others) Carol moved her stuff out today. 卡罗今天把她的东西搬走了Joey: Ohh.Monica: (to Ross) Let me get you some coffee. 我帮你泡杯咖啡， 谢了。Ross: Thanks.Phoeb

8、e: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)Ross: No, no dont! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? 不要别清理我的灵气。可是别碰我的灵气就是了。Phoebe: Fine! Be murky! 好,继续痛苦吧Ross: Ill be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope shell be very happy. 没有！行了吧？！真的，各位，我希望她开心Monica:

9、 No you dont. 不，你并不希望Ross: No I dont, to hell with her, she left me! 是的，我不希望！去她的，她离开了我！Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian. 而且你一直都不知道她是女同性恋者。Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didnt know, how should I know? 不知道！行了吧！为什么每个人都提它？她都不知道，我怎么会知道？Chandler: Sometimes I wish I

10、 was a lesbian. (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud? 有时候我希望自己是个同性恋我大声说出来了？Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well. 我昨天晚上给我父母说了，他们好像没有什么Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M., Ill never have grandchildren,

11、Ill never have grandchildren. was what? A wrong number? 真的吗，凌晨三点我接到一个电话， 一个女人歇斯底里的向我哭诉， “我不能抱孙子了， 我不能抱孙子了。” 那是什么？打错了Ross: Sorry. 对不起Joey: Alright Ross, look. Youre feeling a lot of pain right now. Youre angry. Youre hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? 没事的，罗斯，瞧，你现在感到很痛苦。你很生气，你很伤心，我告诉你答案是什么？(R

12、oss gestures his consent.)Joey: Strip joint! Cmon, youre single! Have some hormones! 脱衣舞酒店。 你单身，有性需求。Ross: I dont want to be single, okay? I just. I just- I just wanna be married again! 我不想单身的。 我只想再结婚。(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)Chandler: And I just want a mi

13、llion dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.) 我只想要一百万！Monica: Rachel?! 瑞秋？Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you werent there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are! 天啊，莫妮卡，谢天谢地。我到过你的住处，你不在。 有个拿着一根大榔头的人说你可能会在这儿， 结果你真的在这儿。W

14、aitress: Can I get you some coffee? 想来杯咖啡吗？Monica: (pointing at Rachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- you remember my brother Ross? 想来杯咖啡吗？ 无咖啡因的。 各位，她叫瑞秋， 另一位从林肯高中生存下来的人。这

15、位叫钱德勒， 菲比，乔伊。 还记得我哥罗斯吗？Rachel: Hi, sure! 当然。 Ross: Hi. 嗨(They go to hug but Rosss umbrella opens. He sits back down defeated again. A moment of silence follows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)Monica: So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? 你想现在告诉我们，

16、 还是等伴娘来再说？Rachel: Oh God. well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeous Lamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought her coffee)Sweet n Lo?- I real

17、ized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and thats when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Yknow, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but. Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering Why am I doing t

18、his, and who am I doing this for?. (to Monica) So anyway I just didnt know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but youre the only person I knew who lived here in the city. 婚礼前半个小时发生了变数。 我在堆放礼物的房间里， 看着船形卤肉盘， 非常漂后的船形卤肉盘，突然间 有没有代糖？ 我了解船形卤肉盘此巴瑞更能引起我的“性趣” 我自己都吓了一跳， 巴瑞愈看愈像猪头先生

19、。 我一直都认为他很眼熟。 总之,我必须离开。 我开始想， 我为何这么做？ 我为谁这样做？ 于是我不知该走往何处， 我知道你我日渐疏远。 但是你是我在这个城市， 认识的唯一一个人。Monica: Who wasnt invited to the wedding. 好像是唯一没受邀参加婚礼的人。Rachel: Ooh, I was kinda hoping that wouldnt be an issue. Scene: Monicas Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and are trying to

20、 figure out what is going on. 这件事就甭提啦。Monica: Now Im guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ, and shes really not happy about it. 我猜他送她一台管风琴， 她肯定不喜欢。Chandler: (imitating the characters) Tuna or egg salad? Decide! 金枪鱼还是鸡蛋沙拉？快决定！Ross: (in a deep voice) Ill have whatever Christine is having. 克里斯

21、吃什么我就吃什么Rachel: (on phone) Daddy, I just. I cant marry him! Im sorry. I just dont love him. Well, it matters to me! 爸，我不能嫁给他 对不起，我只是不爱他。 对，是我的问题！(The scene on TV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off. 如果我没了头发， 还不如去死。Chandler: (r

22、e TV) Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants.她不该穿那条裤子 Joey: I say push her down the stairs. 我建议推她下楼Phoebe, Ross, Chandler, and Joey: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! 推她下楼！ 推她下楼！ 推她下楼！(She is pushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)Rachel: Cmon Dad

23、dy, listen to me! Its like, its like, all of my life, everyone has always told me, Youre a shoe! Youre a shoe, youre a shoe, youre a shoe!. And today I just stopped and I said, What if I dont wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, yknow? Or a- or a hat! No, Im not saying I want you to buy m

24、e a hat, Im saying I am a ha- Its a metaphor, Daddy! 爸，你听我说 大家这样评价我这一辈子： 你是一只鞋 今天我倒想看看如果我不再是鞋会怎样。 我说如果我想当皮包呢？ 或是帽子呢？ 不，我不需你帮我买帽子。 我说我是一顶帽子。 爸，这是一种比喻。Ross: You can see where hed have trouble. 你看他有些问题Rachel: Look Daddy, its my life. Well maybe Ill just stay here with Monica. 爸，这是我的人生。 或许我会和莫妮卡住在这儿。Mon

25、ica: Well, I guess weve established whos staying here with Monica. 我想我们已经决定好谁将和莫妮卡住在这儿Rachel: Well, maybe thats my decision. Well, maybe I dont need your money. Wait! Wait, I said maybe! 或许那是我的决定。 或许我不希罕你的钱。 等一下，等一下我说的是或许！Time Lapse, Rachel is breating into a paper bag.Monica: Just breathe, breathe.

26、 thats it. Just try to think of nice calm things. 深呼吸，就这样。 试着想着美好的事物Phoebe: (sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn to look at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens. La la la la.something and noodles with string. These are a few. 玫瑰上的雨滴， 猫嘴上的

27、胡须， 门铃和雪橇之类的。 啦 啦 啦 还有手套Rachel: Im all better now. 我现在好多了Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) I helped! 我帮上忙了Monica: Okay, look, this is probably for the best, yknow? Independence. Taking control of your life. The whole, hat thing. 或许这样最好，独立了，把握自己的生活，就像你说的帽子的事情Joey

28、: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And hes away a lot. 有任何需要找乔伊准没错。 我和钱德勒就住在对面， 而且他经常不在家。Monica: Joey, stop hitting on her! Its her wedding day! 乔伊，少趁虚而入了，今天是她大喜的日子Joey: What, like theres a rule or something? 什么？有规定不能吗？(T

29、he door buzzer sounds and Chandler gets it.)Chandler: Please dont do that again, its a horrible sound. 请不要在这样，声音很刺耳Paul: (over the intercom) Its, uh, its Paul. 我是保罗Monica: Oh God, is it 6:30? Buzz him in! 天啊，6:30了吗？让他进来！Joey: Whos Paul? 谁是保罗？Ross: Paul the Wine Guy, Paul? 调酒的保罗？Monica: Maybe. Joey:

30、Wait. Your not a real date tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy? 或许吧。 等等，你今晚该不是真的要和调酒的那个保罗约会吧？Ross: He finally asked you out? 他终于开口了。Monica: Yes! 是的Chandler: Ooh, this is a Dear Diary moment. 终于被你等到了Monica: Rach, wait, I can cancel. 瑞秋，等等，我可以取消Rachel: Please, no, go, thatd be fine! 不用了，你去吧，我不会有事的Monica

31、: (to Ross) Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay? 真的没事吗？你要我留下来吗？Ross: (choked voice) Thatd be good. 那样最好Monica: (horrified) Really? 真的吗?Ross: (normal voice) No, go on! Its Paul the Wine Guy! 假的，去吧，是保罗，调酒师啊Phoebe: What does that mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (C

32、handler doesnt know.) 什么意思？他是卖酒的， 喝酒的，还是评酒的？(Theres a knock on the door and its Paul.)Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is. (They are all lined up next to the door.). everybody, everybody, this is Paul. 请进！ 保罗，这位是各位，各位，他就是保罗。All: Hey! Paul! Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey! 保罗调酒大师。Chandler: Im sorry, I didnt cat

33、ch your name. Paul, was it? 抱歉，我没听清楚你名字。 保罗，是吗？Monica: Okay, umm-umm, Ill just-Ill be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah. 我马上就好，我去，去Ross: A wandering? 神魂恍惚啦？Monica: Change! Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds. 换衣服！请坐，两秒钟。Phoebe: Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That cant be good. 我刚

34、拔掉四根睫毛，不妙。(Monica goes to change.)Joey: Hey, Paul! 嗨，保罗Paul: Yeah? 有何指教？Joey: Heres a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red. 一个小秘密，莫妮卡其实就喜欢这样， 你摩擦她脖子的同一个地方， 反反复复，直到那里开始有点发红。Monica: (yelling from the bed

35、room) Shut up, Joey! 乔伊你给我闭嘴！Ross: So Rachel, whatre you, uh. whatre you up to tonight? 瑞秋，你打算如何渡过今晚？Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing! 我应该在前往阿鲁巴渡蜜月的途中，因此没了！Ross: Right, youre not even getting your honeymoon, God. No, no, although, Aruba, this time

36、 of year. talk about your- (thinks) -big lizards. Anyway, if you dont feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming over to help me put together my new furniture. 我懂，你没去渡蜜月。 虽然阿鲁巴在此时 有很多大蜥蜴 如果你今晚不想独处， 乔伊和钱德勒要到我那儿帮我组合新家俱，Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and were very excited about it. 对，我们都相当兴奋

37、。Rachel: Well actually thanks, but I think Im just gonna hang out here tonight. Its been kinda a long day. 谢谢，但我今晚想待在这儿， 我折磨了一天。Ross: Okay, sure. 好吧，当然Joey: Hey Pheebs, you wanna help? 菲此，想帮忙吗？Phoebe: Oh, I wish I could, but I dont want to. 我可以去， 但我不去。Commercial BreakScene: The Subway, Phoebe is sin

38、ging for change.Phoebe: (singing) Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your love oh your love, your love.is like a giant pigeon.crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you. (sings) La-la-la-la.ohhh!Scene: Rosss Apar

39、tment, the guys are there assembling furniture. 爱情就像夏日冲凉一样甜美，爱情是无与伦比的艺术品，但是，你的爱呀，你的爱，你的爱就像一只巨大的鸽子在我心里排泄。啦-啦-啦-啦-啦-啦-啦，Ross: (squatting and reading the instructions) Im supposed to attach a brackety thing to the side things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing, I see no

40、whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs. 我应该用蜗杆将托架装在侧面， 但我没看见托架和蜗杆，而且， 我的脚好麻。(Joey and Chandler are finishing assembling the bookcase.)Joey: Im thinking weve got a bookcase here. 我想我们做好书架了。Chandler: Its a beautiful thing. 真漂亮。Joey: (picking up a leftover part) Whats this? 这是什么？Chandler: I wo

41、uld have to say that is an L-shaped bracket. 我只能说这是个“L”型托架。Joey: Which goes where? 是哪的？Chandler: I have no idea. 我不知道(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)Joey: Done with the bookcase! 书架做好了！Chandler: All finished! 终于做好了Ross: (clutching a beer can and sniffing) This was Caro

42、ls favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known. 这是卡罗最爱喝的啤酒。 她总是不用杯子喝，我早应该看出蛛丝马迹。Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, if youre gonna start with that stuff were outta here. 嗨 如果你再这样，我们就走了。Chandler: Yes, please dont spoil all this fun. 对啊，请不要破坏这里的乐趣。Joey: Ross, let me ask you a question. S

43、he got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what did you get? 罗斯，我问你一个问题。 她分得家俱，音响和好电视。 你分得什么？Ross: You guys. 你们Chandler: Oh, God. 嗯，天哪Joey: You got screwed. 你昏头了啊Chandler: Oh my God! 恩，天啊Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.Monica: Oh my God!Paul: I know, I know, Im such an idiot. I g

44、uess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get? 我知道我是个白痴。他每周看四五次牙医师我就应该了解，我指牙齿能有多干净？Monica: My brothers going through that right now, hes such a mess. How did you get through it? 我哥正承受着这种痛苦， 一副失魂落魄的样子。 你是怎么熬过来的？Paul: Well, you might try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her- 你可以不小心砸烂她贵着的东西，如她的Monica: -leg? 她的 腿？Paul: (laughing) Thats one way! Me, I- I went for the watch. 这样也不赖！我我砸烂了她的表。Monica: You actually