【英文读物】The Woggle-Bug Book.docx

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1、【英文读物】The Woggle-Bug BookThe Woggle-Bug Book ONE day Mr. H. M. Woggle-Bug, T. E., becoming separated from his comrades who had accompanied him from the Land of Oz, and finding that time hung heavy on his hands (he had four of them), decided to walk down the Main street of the City and try to discove

2、r something or other of interest. The initials H. M. before his name meant Highly Magnified, for this Woggle-Bug was several thousand times bigger than any other woggle-bug you ever saw. And the initials T. E. after his named meant Thoroughly Educatedand so he was, in the Land of Oz. But his educati

3、on, being applied to a woggle-bug intellect, was not at all remarkable in this country, where everything is quite different than Oz. Yet the Woggle-Bug did not suspect this, and being, like so many other thoroughly educated persons, proud of his mental attainments, he marched along the street with a

4、n air of importance that made one wonder what great thoughts were occupying his massive brain. Being about as big, in his magnified state, as a man, the Woggle-Bug took care to clothe himself like a man; only, instead of choosing sober colors for his garments, he delighted in the most gorgeous reds

5、and yellows and blues and greens; so that if you looked at him long the brilliance of his clothing was liable to dazzle your eyes. I suppose the Waggle-Bug did not realize at all what a queer appearance he made. Being rather nervous, he seldom looked into a mirror; and as the people he met avoided t

6、elling him he was unusual, he had fallen into the habit of considering himself merely an ordinary citizen of the big city wherein he resided. So the Woggle-Bug strutted proudly along the street, swinging a cane in one hand, flourishing a pink handkerchief in the other, fumbling his watch-fob with an

7、other, and feeling his necktie was straight with another. Having four hands to use would prove rather puzzling to you or me, I imagine; but the Woggie-Bug was thoroughly accustomed to them. Presently he came to a very fine store with big plate-glass windows, and standing in the center of the biggest

8、 window was a creature so beautiful and radiant and altogether charming that the first glance at her nearly took his breath away. Her complexion was lovely, for it was wax; but the thing which really caught the Woggle-Bugs fancy was the marvelous dress she wore. Indeed, it was the latest (last years

9、) Paris model, although the Woggle-Bug did not know that; and the designer must have had a real woggly love for bright colors, for the gown was made of red cloth covered with big checks which were so loud the fashion books called them Wagnerian Plaids. Never had our friend the Woggle-Bug seen such a

10、 beautiful gown before, and it afflicted him so strongly that he straightaway fell in love with the entire outfiteven to the wax-complexioned lady herself! Very politely he tipped his to her; but she stared coldly back without in any way acknowledging the courtesy. Never mind, he thought; faint hear

11、t never won fair lady. And Im determined to win this kaliedoscope of beauty or perish in the attempt! You will notice that our insect had a way of using big words to express himself, which leads us to suspect that the school system in Oz is the same they employ in Boston. As, with swelling heart, th

12、e Woggle-Bug feasted his eyes upon the enchanting vision, a small green tag that was attached to a button of the waist suddenly attracted his attention. Upon the tag was marked: Price $7.93GREATLY REDUCED. Ah! murmured the Woggle-Bug; my darling is in greatly reduced circumstances, and $7.93 will ma

13、ke her mine! Where, oh where, shall I find the seven ninety-three wherewith to liberate this divinity and make her Mrs. Woggle-Bug? Move on! said a gruff policeman, who came along swinging his club. And the Woggle-Bug obediently moved on, his brain working fast and furious in the endeavor to think o

14、f a way to procure seven dollars and ninety-three cents. You see, in the Land of Oz they use no money at all, so that when the Woggle-Bug arrived in America he did not possess a single penny. And no one had presented him with any money since. Yet there must be several ways to procure money in this c

15、ountry, he reflected; for otherwise everybody would be as penniless as I am. But how, I wonder, do they manage to get it? Just then he came along a side street where a number of men were at work digging a long and deep ditch in which to lay a new sewer. Now these men, thought the Woggle-Bug, must ge

16、t money for shoveling all that earth, else they wouldnt do it. Here is my chance to win the charming vision of beauty in the shop window! Seeking out the foreman, he asked for work, and the foreman agreed to hire him. How much do you pay these workmen? asked the highly magnified one. Two dollars a d

17、ay, answered the foreman. Then, said the Woggle-Bug, you must pay me four dollars a day; for I have four arms to their two, and can do double their work. If that is so, Ill pay you four dollars, agreed the man. The Woggle-Bug was delighted. In two days, he told himself, as he threw off his brilliant

18、 coat and placed his hat upon it, and rolled up his sleeves; in two days I can earn eight dollarsenough to purchase my greatly reduced darling and buy her seven cents worth of caramels besides. He seized two spades and began working so rapidly with his four arms that the foreman said: You must have

19、been forewarned. Why? asked the Insect. Because theres a saying that to be forewarned is to be four-armed, replied the other. That is nonsense, said the Woggle-Bug, digging with all his might; for they call you the foreman, and yet I only see one of you. Ha, ha! laughed the man, and he was so proud

20、of his new worker that he went into the corner saloon to tell his friend the barkeeper what a treasure he had found. It was just after noon that the Woggle-Bug hired as a ditch-digger in order to win his hearts desire; so at noon on the second day he quit work, and having received eight silver dolla

21、rs he put on his coat and rushed away to the store that he might purchase his intended bride. But, alas for the uncertainty of all our hopes! Just as the Woggle-Bug reached the door he saw a lady coming out of the store dressed in identical checks with which he had fallen in love! At first he did no

22、t know what to do or say, for the young ladys complexion was not waxfar from it. But a glance into the window showed him the wax lady now dressed in a plain black tailor-made suit, and at once he knew the wearer of the Wagnerian plaids was his real love, and not the stiff creature behind the glass.

23、Beg pardon! he exclaimed, stopping the young lady; but youre mine. Heres the seven ninety-three, and seven cents for candy. But she glanced at him in a haughty manner, and walked away with her nose slightly elevated. He followed. He could not do otherwise with those delightful checks shining before

24、him like beacon-lights to urge him on. The young lady stepped into a car, which whirled away rapidly. For a moment he was nearly paralyzed at his loss; then he started after the car as fast as he could go, and this was very fast indeedhe being a woggle-bug. Somebody cried: Stop, thief! and a policem

25、an ran out to arrest him. But the Woggle-Bug used his four hands to push the officer aside, and the astonished man went rolling into the gutter so recklessly that his uniform bore marks of the encounter for many days. Still keeping an eye on the car, the Woggle-Bug rushed on. He frightened two dogs,

26、 upset a fat gentleman who was crossing the street, leaped over an automobile that shot in front of him, and finally ran plump into the car, which had abruptly stopped to let off a passenger. Breathing hard from his exertions, he jumped upon the rear platform of the car, only to see his charmer step

27、 off at the front and walk mincingly up the steps of a house. Despite his fatigue, he flew after her at once, crying out: Stop, my variegated dearstop! Dont you know youre mine? But she slammed the door in his face, and he sat down upon the steps and wiped his forehead with his pink handkerchief and

28、 fanned himself with his hat and tried to think what he should do next. Presently a very angry man came out of the house. He had a revolver in one hand and a carving-knife in the other. What do you mean by insulting my wife? he demanded. Was that your wife? asked the Woggle-Bug, in meek astonishment

29、. Of course it is my wife, answered the man. Oh, I didnt know, said the insect, rather humbled. But Ill give you seven ninety-three for her. Thats all shes worth, you know; for I saw it marked on the tag. The man gave a roar of rage and jumped into the air with the intention of falling on the Woggle

30、-Bug and hurting him with the knife and pistol. But the Woggle-Bug was suddenly in a hurry, and didnt wait to be jumped on. Indeed, he ran so very fast that the man was content to let him go, especially as the pistol wasnt loaded and the carving-knife was as dull as such knives usually are. But his

31、wife had conceived a great dislike for the Wagnerian check costume that had won for her the Woggle-Bugs admiration. Ill never wear it again! she said to her husband, when he came in and told her that the Woggle-Bug was gone. Then, he replied, youd better give it to Bridget; for shes been bothering m

32、e about her wages lately, and the present will keep her quite for a month longer. So she called Bridget and presented her with the dress, and the delighted servant decided to wear it that night to Mickey Schwartzs ball. Now the poor Woggle-Bug, finding his affection scorned, was feeling very blue an

33、d unhappy that evening, When he walked out, dressed (among other things) in a purple-striped shirt, with a yellow necktie and pea-green gloves, he looked a great deal more cheerful than he really was. He had put on another hat, for the Woggle-Bug had a superstition that to change his hat was to chan

34、ge his luck, and luck seemed to have overlooked the fact that he was in existence. The hat may really have altered his fortunes, as the Insect shortly met Ikey Swanson, who gave him a ticket to Mickey Schwartzs ball; for Ikeys clean dickey had not come home from the laundry, and so he could not go h

35、imself. The Woggle-Bug, thinking to distract his mind from his dreams of love, attended the hall, and the first thing he saw as he entered the room was Bridget clothed in that same gorgeous gown of Wagnerian plaid that had so fascinated his bugly heart. The dear Bridget had added to her charms by pu

36、tting seven full-blown imitation roses and three second-hand ostrich-plumes in her red hair; so that her entire person glowed like a sunset in June. The Woggle-bug was enraptured; and, although the divine Bridget was waltzing with Fritzie Casey, the Insect rushed to her side and, seizing her with al

37、l his four arms at once, cried out in his truly educated Bostonian way: Oh, my superlative conglomeration of beauty! I have found you at last! Bridget uttered a shriek, and Fritzie Casey doubled two fists that looked like tombstones, and advanced upon the intruder. Still embracing the plaid costume

38、with two arms, the Woggle-Bug tipped Mr. Casey over with the other two. But Bridget made a bound and landed with her broad heel, which supported 180 pounds, firmly upon the Insects toes. He gave a yelp of pain and promptly released the lady, and a moment later he found himself flat upon the floor wi

39、th a dozen of the dancers piled upon himall of whom were pummeling each other with much pleasure and a firm conviction that the diversion had been planned for their special amusement. But the Woggle-Bug had the strength of many men, and when he flopped the big wings that were concealed by the tails

40、of his coat, the gentlemen resting upon him were scattered like autumn leaves in a gust of wind. The Insect stood up, rearranged his dress, and looked about him. Bridget had run away and gone home, and the others were still fighting amongst themselves with exceeding cheerfulness. So the Woggle-Bug s

41、elected a hat which fit him (his own having been crushed out of shape) and walked sorrowfully back to his lodgings. Evidently that was not a lucky hat I wore to the ball, he reflected; but perhaps this one I now have will bring about a change in my fortunes. Bridget needed money; and as she had worn

42、 her brilliant costume once and allowed her friends to see how becoming it was, she carried it the next morning to a second-hand dealer and sold it for three dollars in cash. Scarcely had she left the shop when a lady of Swedish extractiona widow with four small children in her trainentered and aske

43、d to look at a gown. The dealer showed her the one he had just bought from Bridget, and its gay coloring so pleased the widow that she immediately purchased it for $3.65. Ay tank ets a good deal money, by sure, she said to herself; but das leedle children mus have new fadder to mak mind un tak care

44、dere mudder like, by yimminy! An Ay tank no man look may way in das ole dress I been wearing. She took the gown and the four children to her home, where she lost no time in trying on the costume, which fitted her as perfectly as a flour-sack does a peck of potatoes. Das beautiful! she exclaimed, in

45、rapture, as she tried to see herself in a cracked mirror. Ay go das very afternoon to valk in da park, for das man-folks go crazy-like ven he sees may fine frocks! Then she took her green parasol and a hand-bag stuffed with papers (to make it look prosperous and aristocratic) and sallied forth to th

46、e park, followed by all her interesting flock. The men didnt fail to look at her, as you may guess; but none looked with yearning until the Woggle-Bug, sauntering gloomily along a path, happened to raise his eyes and see before him his hearts delight the very identical Wagnerian plaids which had fil

47、led him with such unbounded affection. Aha, my excruciatingly lovely creation! he cried, running up and kneeling before the widow; I have found you once again. Do not, I beg of you, treat me with coldness! For he had learned from experience not to unduly startle his charmer at their first moment of

48、meeting; so he made a firm attempt to control himself, that the wearer of the checked gown might not scorn him. The widow had no great affection for bugs, having wrestled with the species for many years; but this one was such a big-bug and so handsomely dressed that she saw no harm in encouraging himespecially as the men she had sought to captivate were proving exceedingly shy. So you tank Ay I ban loavely? she asked, with a coy glance at the Insect. I do! With all