【英文文学】The Choice of Life.docx

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1、【英文文学】The Choice of LifePART THE FIRST Chapter IHere in the garden, close to the quiet house, I sit thinking of that strange meeting in the village. A blackbird at regular intervals sings the same refrain, which is taken up by others in the distance. The lilys chalice gleams under the blazing sun; a

2、nd the humbler flowers meekly droop their heads. White butterflies are everywhere, flitting restlessly hither and thither. So fierce is the splendour of the day that I cannot raise my eyes to the summit of the trees; and my quivering lids show me the whole sky through my lashes.Thereupon it seems to

3、 me that the emotion which bursts from my heart, like a too-brilliant light, compels me to close the shutters of my brain as well. In my mind, even as before my eyes, distances are lessened and I see stretched before me that more or less illusive goal which we would all fain reach in the desires of

4、our finer selves.This idea is soothing to me, for, in my eagerness to act, I am tired of demanding from my reason reasons which it cannot vouchsafe me.Is there anything definite amid the uncertainty of these blind efforts, these unaccountable impulses, which have so often, ever since the first awake

5、ning of my unconsciousness, urged me towards other women? What have I wanted hitherto? What was it that I hoped when I stretched out my hands to them, when I looked upon their lives, when I searched their hearts, when at times I changed the very nature of their strivings? I did not know then; and ev

6、en now I do not succeed in explaining to myself the fever that makes my thoughts tingle and burn. I do not understand, I do not know. How did that dream stand firm amid the total annihilation of unprofitable illusions? Is there then an element of reality, a definite truth that encourages me, though

7、I do not discern it?I see myself going forward recklessly, like a traveller who knows that there is somewhere a goal and who makes for it blindly, with the same assurance as though the goal stood bright and luminous on a mountain-top.My only apology for these continual excursionsis that I lay claim

8、to no rigidity of purpose; and I should almost be ashamed to come with principles and axioms to those whom I am carrying away. Then why alter the course of their destiny? Why appeal to their sympathy and their confidence? What better lot have I to offer them and what can I hope for even if they resp

9、ond? Certainly I wish them fairer and more perfect, freed from their childish dread of criticism, armed with a prouder and more personal conception of honour than the code which is laid upon them, respectful of their life and also encompassing it with infinite indulgence and kindness. But is not tha

10、t a wild ideal? In my memory, I still see them smiling at it, those radiant faces which all my sermons could not cloud, or which, vainly striving to understand them, never reflected anything but their crudest and most extravagant features!The newcomer with the grave countenance, the new soul divined

11、 beneath a beauty that pleases me, will she at long last teach me how much is possible and realisable in the vague ideal to which I pay homage, without as yet being able to define it?I dare not hope.Hitherto, events have not justified me any more than my reason.The swift walker goes alone upon his r

12、oad; there is never any but his shadow to follow him.I know how conscious we are of our weakness when we try to bring our energies into action; and I know that my pride will suffer, for I have never seen my footprint on the sand without pitying myself.2Those who are close to our soul have no need of

13、 our words to understand it; and those who are far removed from it do not hear us speak. Then for whom do we speak, alas?The blackbirds song describes precious waves in the still air; pearls are scattered over the blue sky.The lilys whiteness ascends like a fervent prayer; the bees make haste; the c

14、areless butterflies enjoy their little day. Near me, a tiny ant exhausts herself in a task too heavy for her strength. Lowly and excellent counsellors, does not each of them set me the example of her humble efforts?Chapter II1It was yesterday. When I woke, the cornfield under my windows, which seeme

15、d a steadfast sea of gold, had already half disappeared. The scythes flashed in the sun; and the ripe corn fell in great unresisting masses.The smallest details of that meeting are present in my memory; and I do not weary of living every moment of it over again. The air was cool. I still feel the ca

16、ress of my sleeves, which the wind set fluttering over my arms. I drank the breeze in great gulps. It filled me, it revived me from head to foot. My skirts hampered me and I went slowly, holding my hat in both hands before my face and vaguely guided by the little patches of landscape that showed thr

17、ough the loose straw: a glimpse of blue sky, of swaying tree-tops, smoking chimneys and a dim horizon.I have come to the far end of the field, where the reapers are. It is the hour of the first meal. Themen have laid down their scythes, the girls have ceased to bind the sheaves and all are sitting o

18、n the slope beside the road.Curious, I go closer still. A young woman, whom the others call mademoiselle, is kneeling a few steps away from me, in front of the provision-basket; she has her back turned to me and is distributing slices of bread and cream-cheese to the labourers; she hands the jug fil

19、led with cider to the one nearest her, who drinks and sends it round. For one second the movement of her arm passes between the sky and my gaze, which wavers a little owing to the brilliancy of the light; and that arm dewy with heat appears to me admirably moulded, with bold, pure lines.She is dress

20、ed like her companions, in a coarse linen skirt, whose uncouth folds disguise her hips, and a calico smock imprisoned in a black laced bodice, a sort of shapeless, barbarous cuirass. A broad-brimmed straw hat, adorned with a faded ribbon, casts its shadow on her shoulders; but, when she bends her he

21、ad, I see the glint of her hair, whose tightly bound and twisted masses shine like coils of gold.The rather powerful neck is beautifully modelled. It is delicately hollowed at the nape, where a littlesilver chain accentuates the gentle curve. I can see almost nothing of her figure under the clumsy c

22、lothes, but its proportions appear to me accurate and fairly slender.I feel inclined to go away without a word; my fastidious eyes bring me misgivings. When the first taste is good, why risk a second? But one of the reapers has seen me. He bids me a friendly good-morning; and, before I have time to

23、answer, she has turned round.It is so rare, in our country districts, to see a beautiful woman that, for an instant, I blame the charm of the hour and accuse the friendly light of complicity. But little by little her perfection overcomes my doubts; and, the more I watch her, the lovelier I think her

24、. The almost statuesque slowness of her movements, the vigorous line of her body, the glad colours that adorn her mouth, her cheeks and her bare arms seem to make her share in the health of the soil. The fair human sheaf is bound to nature like the golden sheaves that surround it.Without stirring, w

25、e two stand looking at each other face to face.2O miracle of beauty, sovran of happiness and magnet of wandering eyes, that day it shone in the noon-day sun like a star on the forehead of that unhappy life; and it and it alone stayed my steps!But for it, should I have dreamt, in the presence of that

26、 humble girl, of one of those quests which appeal to the hearts of us women, hearts fed on eternal illusions? But for it, should I have suspected a sorrowing soul in the depths of those limpid eyes? And, at this moment, should I be asking of my weakness the strength that constrains, of my doubts the

27、 faith that saves, of my pity the tenderness that consoles and heals?3I had moved to go, happy without knowing why; I hastened my steps. With my soul heavier and my feet lighter than before, I walked away, glorying in my meeting as in a victory over chance, over the thousand trifles, the thousand bl

28、ind agencies that incessantly keep us from what we seek and from what unconsciously seeks us.I could have laughed for joy; and it would havebeen sweet to me, when I passed into the garden, to proclaim my glee aloud. But the peace of things laid silence upon me. I slowly followed the paths, bordered

29、with marigolds and balsam, that lead to the house; and, when I passed under the blinds, which a friends hand had gently drawn for me, I heard my everyday voice describing my discovery and my delight in sober tones.And yet the moment of exaltation still charged my life; it seemed to me clearer and de

30、eper; and I thought that enthusiasm is in us like a too-full cup, which overflows at the least movement of the soul.4I made enquiries that same evening; and all that I learnt encourages me.She lives at the end of our village of Sainte-Colombe. She was brought up at the convent in the town hard by an

31、d left it at the age of eighteen. Since then, she has not been happy. On Sunday she is never with the merrymaking crowd. She has never been seen at church. She neither prays nor dances.Chapter III1I took the road leading to the farm at which she lives. The yard is a large one, the trees that hem it

32、in are old and planted close together. One can hardly see the straggling, thatched buildings from the road; and I walked round the place without being able to satisfy my curiosity. She lives there, I was told, with an old woman, her godmother, about whom the people of the countryside tell stories of

33、 murder and debauchery. I have seen her sometimes. She gives a disagreeable impression. She is a tall, lean woman, with wisps of white hair straggling about her face. Her waving arms and twitching hands carry a perpetual vague menace. The black, deep-set eyes gleam evilly in her ivory face; and her

34、hard thin mouth, which opens straight across it, often hums coarse ditties in a cracked voice.Her curious attire completes the disorder of her appearance. Over her rough peasants clothes, some article of cast-off apparel cuts a strange and lamentablefigure: a muslin morning-wrap, once white and cove

35、red with filmy lace; long, faded ribbons, which fasten a showy Watteau pleat to the back, with ravelled ends spreading over the thick red-cotton skirt; old pink-satin slippers, with pointed heels that sink into the mud. In point of fact, I could say the exact number of times when I have seen her and

36、 why I noticed her, for the sight of her always hurt me cruelly when I met her in the sweet stillness of the country lanes.For a long time, I wandered round the farm. I was moving away, picking flowers as I went, when suddenly, at a bend in the road, I saw the girl who filled my thoughts. She was si

37、tting on a heap of stones; and two large pails of milk stood beside her. Her attitude betokened great weariness; and her drooping arms seemed to enjoy the rest.I lingered a little while in front of her. Her face appeared to me lovelier than on the first occasion, though her uncovered head allowed me

38、 to see her magnificent hair plastered down so as to leave it no freedom whatever. She answered my smile with a blush; and, when I looked at her thick and awkward hands, she clasped and unclasped them with an embarrassed air.2Just now, at the wane of the day, I was singing in the drawing-room, with

39、the windows open. I caught sight in the mirror of the sky ablaze with red and rose quickly from the piano to see the sun dip into the sea. Near the garden, behind the hedge, I surprised the young girl trying to hide.3I had never seen her; but now, because I saw her one day, I am always seeing her.Do

40、 we then behold only what we seek? It is a sad thought. We shall be called upon to die before we have seen everything, understood everything, loved and embraced everything. Our skirts will have brushed against joys which we shall not have felt; our streaming tresses will have passed through perfumes

41、 which we shall not have breathed; our mouth will have kissed flowers which our hands have not known how to pick; and very often our eyes will have seen without acquainting our intelligence. We shall not have been observant continually.It is a pity that things possess no other life thanthat which we

42、 bestow upon them. I dislike to find that, for me, everything is subject to my observation and my knowledge. The first is great indeed, but the second is so small!.4A few years ago, the parish priest was on his way to the church at four oclock one morning, to celebrate the harvest mass, when he saw

43、a strange thing floating on the surface of the pool that washes the steps of the wayside crucifix. As he approached, he perceived that it was a womans long hair. A moment later, they drew the body of a young and beautiful girl to the bank. With nothing on her but her night-dress, she seemed to have

44、run straight from her bed to the pond. The gossips of the neighbourhood will never cease chattering over this incident and the shock which it gave the priest; and, though there is no other pond in the village, the poor girl will be everlastingly reproached with choosing Gods Pool for her attempt at

45、suicide.Is it not enough for me to know that she is out of place amid her coarse surroundings and that she is not happy there?5I have been expecting her for a week. I am wishing with all my might that she may come; I am drawing her with my eyes, with my smile, with my manner and with my will. But I

46、say nothing to her. She must be able to take to herself all the credit of this first act of independence. Moreover, it will give me the evidence which I require of some sympathy between us.Outwardly, I am following a strict principle. Really, I am yielding to a fear: am I not about to perform a dang

47、erous and rather mad action, in once more taking upon myself the responsibility of anothers life?We are not always unaware of the follies which we are about to commit; but it is natural that the immediate joys should eclipse the probable misfortunes and help us to go boldly forward.Besides, the inqu

48、isitive know no weariness. They go with outstretched hand to the assistance of events, heedless of increasing the chances of suffering, because they always find, in return, something to occupy their restlessness. Let us not blame them. In contemplating the good or evil outcome of an action,we behold

49、 but its main lines; we do not see the thousand little broken strokes that go to compose it. They make the total of our days; and they have to be lived.Chapter IV1A broad avenue of beeches stretches in front of our garden; and at the far end is the open country. Here we have placed a seat which looks out over space. Nothing but fields and fie