2022年英文简历中不该出现的话.docx

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1、2022年英文简历中不该出现的话 致命的大错 Finished 8th in my high school graduating class of 10.Qualifications: No education or experience.I am relatively intelligent, obedient and loyal as a puppy.My compensation should be at least equal to my age.Reason for Leaving: It had to do with the IRS, FBI and SEC.Fired becau

2、se I fought for lower pay.Size of employer: Very tall, probably over 65 . Please disregard the enclosed resume-it is terribly out of date.Reason for Leaving: My boss said the end of the world is near.Reason for Leaving: The owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia. I prefer to elaborate privately

3、.打字错误与语法错误Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while maintaining composer.I am a rabid typist.Work History: Performed brain wave tests,1879-1981.After receiving advice from several different angels, I have decided to pursue a new line of work.Accounting

4、 cleric.As indicted, I have over five years of experience analyzing investments.Suspected to graduate early next year.Disposed of $2.5 billion in assets.Proven ability to track down and correct erors.Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department.Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget

5、details.Accomplishments: Completed 11 years of high school.不应有的幽默Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house.Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting. (Translation: Short-order cook.)But wait.theres more. You get

6、all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature.I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.My fortune cookie said, Your next interview will result in a job-and I like your company in particular.Title: Another resume from the Profiles in Excellence series.Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, Mr.Fix-it.Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks.Lets meet so you can ooh and ahh over my experience.