Human Resources《人力资源（2022）》第一季第十集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

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1、回家？就因为下雨了？Go home? Because of some rain?有人需要为这个该死的蠢主意去死皮特我不在乎是谁Someone needs to die for that dumb fuckin idea, Pete. And I dont care who.我告诉你佩特拉这会是一场四级飓风Im telling you, Petra. This is gonna be a category four hurricane.我计算过了Ive run the numbers.计算？你在说什么屁话？Numbers? What the fuck are you talking about,

2、 fuckin numbers?数字！我计算过了！There are numbers. Theyve been run.哇这些数字不容乐观呢我要站在皮特那边了Ooh, those numbers are ugly. Wow, yeah, Im with Pete on this one.我不欢迎你你别过来I dont need you, of all people, nwith me.”他是在同意你的观点你个白♥痴♥Hes agreeing with you, you dookie-head.总之长话短说我吐得很厉害甚至尝到了自己屁♥眼♥

3、的味道Well, anyways, long story short, I puked so hard, I could taste my own sweet butthole. 哇塞-吐得还真厉害No kidding. -Thats a hard puke.听起来就像我上次怀孕的时候-没错Sounds like the last time I was knocked up. -Exactly.天哪我有害喜症状还患上了妊娠糖尿病吉尔记得的God, I had morning sickness and the gestational diabetes. Gil remembers.绝对没错我则患

4、上了同情糖尿病Absolutely! Sympathy diabetes.没有啦我没怀孕不可能的Ha! No, no, no, Im not pregnant. I couldnt be.可能吗？Could I?好吧Okay.我的天哪！Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!我的天哪Oh, my God.哇超速18公里贝卡不是说好上限是16公里的吗？Wow! Eleven miles over the speed limit, Becs. 1 thought we agreed our win

5、dow was ten. 我知道巴里但我在试着甩掉这该死的飓风耶！Yes!小心！Look out!站稳脚步你个软蛋别像个缩头乌龟一样畏畏缩缩的Stand your ground, wuss. Stop getting cucked by the wind.活着当缩头乌龟总比当个死英雄好Better to be a living cuck than a dead hero.我还是回去了Im just gonna go back.总是满口之乎者也闭上你的臭嘴！You talk like a book! Shut the fuck up!嘿你捏痛我了Hey! Oh! Hey, you got me

6、skin!等一下我得尿尿Hold up, I gotta take a whiz.真♥他♥妈♥见鬼了！Holy freaking guac!靠尿溅得我满脸都是了Aw, shit, got wee in my face! Fuck!但丁小心！Dante, watch out!操！Oh, shit! Ow!他妈的！Fuck! Ahh!皮特伙计你得帮帮我！Pete, mate, you gotta help!我其中一跟鸡鸡被卡住了！One of my dicks is stuck!你的鸡鸡被雕像压住了 ？Your penis got pinned by a

7、statue?你的鸡鸡有多大啊？How big is your penis?很大！巨大！是右卜.方的那根Big! Huge! Its the lower-right one.是我最棒的鸡鸡Its my very best penis!它比中间那根粗比左边那根长我爱死它了 ！Its thicker than the middle one, its longer than Lefty. 1 love it!嘿伙计们等等有人受伤了 ！Hey, guys, wait! Man down!皮特别走求求你！Pete! Dont go! Please!我来了啦你就抓稳你的大鸡鸡♥吧hearts

8、;Im coming. Just hold on to your big dicks.天哪老乔这食物也太多了不可能救得了全部的Sweet Lord, Joe, theres so much food. Well never save it all.但我们必须试试该死的But we have to try, God damn it!你说得对先救奶制品？Eh, youre right. Dairy first?先救奶制品Dairy first.毛瑞开门嘛Maury, come on.你走开Leave us alone.等一下先道歉然后走开No, wait. Apologize first and

9、then leave.不如你来为害我错过那个酷酷的冒险小队道歉吧？How about you apologize for making me miss out on that cool adventure squad? 我会是性感火&h ea r ts;辣& h ea r ts;的那个耶I wouldve been the hot one.那对我来说意义重大毛瑞That means something to me, Maury.你的孩子难道对你来说就没意义吗？Does your own child mean something to you?没有再说一遍没有No. Again, no.毛瑞？厕

10、所是不是淹水了？Maury, is the bathroom flooding?是的我宁愿坐在污水里也不愿再看到你的脸Yes. And Id rather sit in sewage than see your face ever again.除非孩子长得像你那我就爱死了Unless the baby looks like you, which I would adore.这蠢透了你快出来This is stupid, get out of there.去你的Oh, fuck you.实际上好主意我还是出去吧No, yeah. Yeah, actually, Im gonna come out

11、.哎哟我的妈呀！Oh, goodness! Oh, me, oh, my!怎久了 ？肚子痛吗？What is it? Big cramp?不是我把门弄坏了我被困住了 ！No, I broke the door, Im trapped!别担心我会想办法把你救出来的Dont worry. Ill bust you outta there somehow.托德有钥匙你得拿到托德的钥匙他有钥匙Todd has the keys! Youve gotta get Todds keys. He has the keys. 那我去他尸体上找你坚持住哈Ooh, Ill go find em on his de

12、ad corpse. Just hang on, okay?别担心宝宝妈咪会Oh, dont worry, baby, Mommy will-给我收回那两个字Take that fuckin back.康妮会救我们的Connie will save us.很好All right, then.妈咪会救我们的你妈咪名字是康妮Mommys gonna save us. Your mommys name is Connie.妈咪是康妮康妮是妈咪康妮妈咪Mommy is Connie, Connies your Mommy, Connie-Mommy.伙计们就是这里了！那个东东在里面！Hey, guys

13、, this is it! The thingys in there!来吧！Come on!拳头！Fist! Fist, fist!皮特有没有其他的人口Pete, is there another entrance we could-等等皮特呢？但丁呢？Wait, wheres Pete? Wheres Dante?谁在乎呢？Who cares?最重要的是我们进到里面去那里乂温暖乂安全All that matters is we get inside, where its warm and safe!但我们进不去啊Well, we cant get in this way.加文试过了他是最强大

14、的那个Gavin tried, and hes the strongest one.不知道哦沃尔特I dont know, Walter.没人比恨虫更强大了懂我的意思吧？No ones stronger than. Hateworm. You know what Im saying?伙计们那不是个好主意Oh, folks, thats not a good idea.你说什么象腿妹？Whats that, thunder thighs?去你娘Motherfu哈我懂你在干嘛了但我今天是不会变成一只恨虫的Okay, I see what youre doing, but Im not turnin

15、g into a Hateworm today.你确定吗你个该死的长头怪？You sure, you Pez-headed fuck?没用的Nope! Its not gonna work.我知道Okay, I got it. I got it.玛丽亚凯莉只懂飙高音G炫技Mariah Careys high G is a crutch.炫技？A crutch?你好大的胆子How dare you?不准你说玛丽亚的坏话！Dont say a word to me about Mariah!她是QVC购物频道或美国唯一的可取之处！Shes the only good thing about QVC

16、 or America.好样的沃尔特来吧我们走！All right, Walter! Come on, lets go!我才不跟你们这些人走Im not going anywhere with you people!我希望编剧把你们全砍掠I hope the writers kill you all offl下一季新阵容我才不在乎Next season, new cast! I dont give a fuck.哇瞧瞧啊Oh, look at that.不客气宝贝出发咯Youre welcome, baby. Here we go!你可以的伙计用你的巨石四头肌啊You can do it, m

17、ate! Just use those Stonehenge quads of yours. 很抱歉真的太重了而且你在失血Im sorry. Its too heavy. And youre losing blood. 靠我有点晕了Oh, shit, Im a bit woozy.我应该朝着光走吗？那是个好主意吗？Should I go towards that light? Is that a good idea? 但丁这样说我几乎没有任何喜悦Dante, it brings me barely any joy to say this, 但我得把你的阴♥茎♥截掠f

18、 but, uh, Im gonna have to amputate your penis. 什么？失去我的男根？我宁愿死！What? Lose my manhood? Id rather die. 你就只有这两个选择-我愿意冒险Well, you know, those are the two choices. -Ill take my chances. 听着身体里没有血的生存几率是很渺小的Look, your chances of surviving with no blood in your body are very low. 我想做个好人所以拜托你让我割掉你的鸡鸡♥吧

19、♥Im trying to be a good guy, so, please, just let me cut your dick offl 好吧动作快点我尽量Okay, make it quick! -Ill try. 好了来了Okay, here it comes. 我懂I know, I know. 刀是锯齿状的呀？ The knifes serrated? 我很难想象这会舒服 I cant imagine this feels good. 为什么呀？Why?我就只有这把刀了抱歉 Its all I had. Sorry. 把镜头切到别处去吧一定还有别的故事的 Cut a

20、way from this already! There must be other stories! 那是最后一个奶制品了Thats the last of the dairy.我不行了老乔咱们就别管沙拉了吧I think I gotta tap out, Joe. Lets just leave the salads. 你凭什么决定哪些食物该被抛下？我们是有命令在身的Who are you to decide which food gets left behind? We have orders! 有吗？谁的命令？We do? From who?上帝的命令吉尔她非常讨厌浪费食物From G

21、od, Gil. And she hates food waste.你说得对你&hearts他♥妈♥总是说得对Youre right! Youre always fucking right!把尼斯沙拉递给我吧Hand me that Nioise.你就抓一把鱼吧Just take a handful of fish.我要给这贱金枪鱼点颜色瞧瞧Im going medieval on this dirty tuna.这样行不通得用木板封起来Thats not gonna work. You gotta board it up.哦真的吗？还真是废话Oh, really?

22、 No doy!做点什久啊在风洞形成之前赶紧把窗户封起来！Do something! Board up that window before a wind tunnel forms! 不好了 ！Oh, no!你&hearts他♥妈♥在开玩笑吗？-你想我怎样？Are you fucking serious? -What do you want from me?你该死的孩子尖叫成那样我根本无法思考！I cant think with your damn kid shrieking like that!也许你无法思考是因为你是个蠢货Maybe you cant think

23、 because youre a dumbass.喂你个富婆娘不准说我老公蠢Hey, rich-tits, dont call my husband dumb.你的女孩最好小心点Your girl better watch it.你的家伙最好小心点Oh, your dude better watch it.我的妈呀！Jesus fucking Christ!是风洞！它会把我们全都杀了！The wind tunnel! Its gonna kill us all!这都是道格的错This is all Dougs fault.如果那个没品的白♥痴♥ 没品?If that

24、 tacky moron. -Tacky?懂得怎么用木板封住窗户你才没品呢.knew how to board up a window- -Youre tacky!贝卡是个专横自负的Beccas a girl-bossy stuck-up-我们完蛋了！Its happening!姨♥子 ♥ !我想说她是个嫉♥子♥ !Bitch! I was gonna call her a bitch!托德？托德的尸体？Todd? Todds bod?你在哪里？Where are you?嘿托德钥匙在你身上吗小可爰？Hey, Todd. Got your

25、 keys there, cutie?我把你翻过来一下哈Just gonna flip you over real quick.钥匙在腿上Keys are with the legs.真有帮助谢谢你托德的事我很抱歉哦Helpful, thanks! And sorry about Todd!拜托不要有闪电Come on. No lightning, no lightning, no lightning.哇塞康妮God damn, Connie.你是性感火♥辣♥的那个没错You are the hot one.天啊Oh, dear.嘿油腻男鬼魂是这里咯Hey, Gre

26、asy! Hey, Ghostly! Here it is!我♥操♥ !Fuck me!没关系继续前进吧不用管我Its okay. Go on without me.那是当然啦我是说我们又不是很亲近Well, yeah, obviously. I mean, you know, were not that close.我倒是上过她一次好吧I did fuck her once. -All right.这根本没办法熄灭对吧？恐怕我们必须掉头了Well, theres no extinguishing this, is there? Im afraid we must

27、turn back. 你想得美你个大英傻叉我来开路You wish, you Great British jerkoff. Im gettin* us out there!但要怎公开啊？But, but, but how?用我的消防水带大鸡&hcarts;巴♥With my big of firehose dick!我确实听你这么形容过但我.Oh, right. Well, youve described it that way before, but 1大家都以为那只是个比喻-我就这么以为的Yeah, people think its a figure of speech. -

28、Well, I certainly did.那不是比喻我讨厌死语言了 ！Its not! I fucking hate language!好了往后站Now stand back!操！-可怜的家伙一定很痛吧？Fuck! Ow! Ow! Ow! -Oh, poor thing. It hurts, does it?每次都很痛Every time.前方路通了快去！-不要Look! Theres an opening, go, now! -No.快去你个飘着的废物！Go, go, go, you floating nothing!火啊！尿啊！火加上尿啊！The fire! The piss! The

29、fire and the piss!天哪我能做些什么吗？Oh, my. Anything I can do?火啊！尿啊！The fire! The piss!尽管说吧Just say.天哪Oh, my.萝谢尔你还好吧？ 我很好！Rochelle? Are you okay? -Im fine!等这一切都结束后我要上你家把它搞得一团糟When this is all over, Im gonna go to your house and mess it up so bad.你要怎么去？你那辆破车已经报废了How you gonna get there? Your shitty car is to

30、taled.这个白♥痴♥也太不可理喻fCan you believe this idiot?是啊他逊毙了他烂透了Oh, yeah, Yeah, he- he sucks. Hes bad, and.那个我得走了You know what? I- I gotta go.毛瑞你还活着吗？Maury? Maury! Maury, you alive in there?我们还活着宝宝和我都活着谢谢We are alive. Baby and me, thank you,但麻烦你快点but hurry!就剩最后一条筋了One last stringy part.搞定！Got

31、it!把我的鸡鸡给我我想抱抱它好吧Give me my donger, I wanna hold it. -Okay.你将永远是我的最爱我很抱歉Youll always be my favorite, you. Im so sorry.他们能把它重新接上的对吧？-可能吧？They can reattach him, right? -Maybe?不要啊！-可能不行了No! -Maybe not.我的宝贝鸡鸡回来啊！-糟糕！My sweet pee-pee! Come back! -Oh, no!回来啊！-但丁你就放手吧！Come back! -Dante. Just let it go!太多火腿

32、了不行了老乔我要吐了Its too much ham. I cant, Joe, Im gonna puke.别吐吉尔-我能感觉到它涌上来rNo! No, Gil. -I feel it coming up.如果你因为火腿而吐你这辈子一看到火腿就会想吐If you puke from that ham, then ham will be a food that makes you puke, forever. 我是不会让我最好的朋友失去火腿的好吗？And I am not gonna let my best friend lose ham, okay?你在干什么？What are you do

33、ing?我在帮你不客气Helping you! Youre welcome.我不需要你的帮助I dont need your help!不是这个也不是这个Not that one. Thats not it.撑住啊毛瑞这钥匙多得离谱而且全是托德的内脏Hang on, Maury. Theres, like, a million keys on here and theyre all covered in Todds guts. 便便Poopy.它保不住了但丁别管它了Its gone, Dante. Just leave it.如果那是我的左下/R♥或右卜.屋♥我可以

34、不管And I would if it were my bottom left or even upper right,但那是我的右下属♥啊伙计but its my bottom right, man.你有三根尾♥但只有一条命而且你还有萝谢尔You have three dongs, but only one life. And you have Rochelle.你应该为再次见到她而奋斗所以我们走吧You should be fighting to see her again. So, lets go.萝谢尔？-对她真的很棒Rochelle? -Yeah, she

35、s amazing.为她我愿意牺牲一千根屋♥And Id sacrifice a thousand dicks for her.但如果那东西对你来说比她更重要But if that things more important to you than she is,那你就该两者都失去then you deserve to lose both.你说得没错我是个白♥痴♥Youre right. Im an idiot.我真♥他♥妈♥爱她皮特我爱死她了！I fucking love her, Pete, I love

36、her so much!那就抓住我的手！Then take my hand.艾米别过来！Emmy, dont!闭嘴抓住我的手！Shut up and take my hand!别死别死别死No dead guy, no dead guy, no dead guy.成功了 ！Yes!你还活着抓住我的手！Youre alive! Take my hand.咬卜去吉尔咬卜.去然后吞卜去Bite it, Gil. Bite it and swallow it.我做不到老乔拿走我的火腿！I cant, Joe! Take my ham.Ugh, I know that, Barry, but Im tr

37、ying to get us out of this frickin hurricane. 拜托让我把油门踩到底气他一下Please can I floor it just to piss him off?不行要记得我们爱他No, because, remember, we love him!他只是想确保我们都安全Hes just trying to keep us safe.好吧你说得对巴里我会慢下来的Okay, youre right, Barry. Ill slow down.天哪！-靠!Ahh! -Oh, God!天哪这是完美风暴！Oh, God, its The Perfect St

38、orm!记住我的话我们都会死翘翘的！Mark my Wahlberg, were all gonna die!坐稳了杰克！ 天哪慢下来！Hold on, Jakey. -Oh, my God, slow down!我在努力呢！Im trying!刹车坏了我们死定了 ！The brakes are dead and so are we!我的天哪操！Oh, my God! Fuck!他没事你没事吧？Hes okay. Are you okay?没事应该没事Yeah. Yeah, yeah, 1 think so.哇这辆车紫得刺眼Wow, that car is aggressively purpl

39、e.我的太阳车！你对我的宝贝做了什公？My Suns-mobile! What have you done to my baby?我的天哪它全毁了Oh, my God, its ruined.道格跪倒在雨中吧！Doug, fall to your knees in the rain.求你了上帝让我来代替它吧！Please, God, take me instead!你带走道格吧！Take him!别这样啊Oh, come on!好了现在飞下来Okay, now fly down.我飞不下去！I cant!我找到木板了道格锤子呢？I found boards! Dougie, wheres th

40、e hammer?天哪我把工具箱放哪儿了？Oh, God, whered I put the toolbox?有没有搞错啊？Come on!贝旨家伙别再为鸡毛蒜皮的小事吵rBecca, dude, enough with the petty bullshit.给我他娼成熟点快帮忙Just grow the fuck up and help.你说得对Youre right.我就需要一个金属做的硬东西I just need something hard and metal.靠道格你做的那个查尔斯巴克利垃圾雕像怎么样？Oh, shit. Doug, what about that Charles B

41、arkley garbage statue you made? 那棒呆了对吧？I know, what about it, right?你可以把它当锤子用Here! You can use it as a hammer.太天才了Genius.有什么是杳尔斯巴克利做不到的吗？Is there anything Charles Barkley cant do?道格快点！Doug, hurry up!哇哦真的管用耶！-太好了 ！Holy crud, its working! -Amazing!你没事吧？Are you okay?嗯Yeah.你刚刚只用了一只手吗？You only used the o

42、ne arm just then?严格来说还用了我的背阔肌和三角肌Technically, I also used my lats and deltoids.你确定你没办法把那个雕像从我鸡鸡上抬下来吗？Are you sure you couldnt have lifted that statue off my dick, mate?挺确定的-挺确定？Pretty sure. -Pretty sure, huh?不是我很确定好吧No, Im sure. -All right对我挺确定的Yeah. Im- Im- Im pretty sure.哇还是算了吧Look at that. Oh, no

43、, thank you.怎公广展♥布利多你怕了吗？Whats the matter, Cumbledore? You scared?加文！你Gavin! Youre.还活着你个傻♥逼♥ !Alive, fucker!你到底打不打算把那东西插回去？You gonna plug that thing back in or not?不打算没错不打算Not. Yes. Quite not.我们有任务在身We have a mission!加文我很喜欢这个任务真的Gavin, I adore that mission, really.我只是觉得如果我完成这个任务

44、我就会死掉所以Im simply of the mind that, if I complete it, Ill die, so.谁没有一死呢孩子？Everybody dies sometime, kid.男孩是强大的！Boys are strong!鸡♥巴 ♥超棒的！Dicks are good!希望上帝是个男的I hope Gods a dude.好吧Right then, well,我想就由我来完成吧I suppose Ill just, uh, finish up here.康妮你救了我Oh, Connie, you saved me.当然了毛瑞Of cou

45、rse I did, Maury.知道吗？这一天让我看清了很多事情You know, today put a lot in perspective for me.比如？Such as?我意识到我这一生真正追求的是什么Well, I realized what I really want out of life.我以为我想要的是绝对的自♥由♥当个性感火♥辣♥的冒险嫌I thought I wanted total freedom to go be a hot adventure bitch.而且还以为有了孩子会妨碍这一切And I thou

46、ght a kid would get in the way of all that但是？But?但是事实是But the truth is,我是对的I was right!什么？那你干嘛说“但是”？What? Then why did you say but?我没说“但是”那是你说的I didnt say but, you said but.好啦但你还是把我搞蒙了Fine, but that was still very confusing.很抱歉让我说清楚我不要那个该死的孩子Im sorry, Ill be clear, I dont want that fucking kid.你不要我要Well, I do.宝宝和我的屁♥股♥只能二选一毛瑞Well, its that baby, or this ass, Maury.你真的要这么做？你要把整个屁♥股♥拿走？Youd really do that? Take your whole ass away?没错做出选择吧Thats right. Make your choice.好吧那我想我要选择