【省级公开课】高中英语读后续写课件.pptx

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1、读后续写讲评读后续写讲评 （教育部考试中心，（教育部考试中心，20152015）提供一段）提供一段350350词词以内以内的语言材料，要求考生依的语言材料，要求考生依据该材料内容、所给段落开头语和所标示关键词进行续写（据该材料内容、所给段落开头语和所标示关键词进行续写（150150词左右），词左右），将将其发展成其发展成一篇与给定材料有逻辑衔接，情节和结构完整的短文一篇与给定材料有逻辑衔接，情节和结构完整的短文。考查的主要内。考查的主要内容包括以下四点：（容包括以下四点：（1 1）与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度；（）与所给短文及段落开头语的衔接程度；（2 2）内容的丰）内容的丰富性；（富性；

2、（3 3）应用语法结构和词汇的丰富性和准确性；（）应用语法结构和词汇的丰富性和准确性；（4 4）上下文的连贯性）上下文的连贯性写 续读 后 阅读能力考查能力*能理解原文内容*能准确理解原文的篇章结构和关键信息*能深入理解原文的内容要素、内容发展、逻辑关系、语言特点等。写作能力*内容产出：能在原文的基础上创造新的内容；能与原文内容保持融洽，形成有效协同。*语言运用：能够用丰富的词汇和句子结构并且使用准确，恰当；与原文的词汇和句子 结构甚至语言风格协同（较高要求）*篇章结构：能与原文合理衔接；能使用恰当的连接手段是续写完整、连贯。思维能力能在根据原文进行续写时体现出创造性。学习能力能通过读后续写学

3、习原文作者的语言特点和写作方式。3时空线；故事情节线；时空线；故事情节线；情感发展线情感发展线语体风格；文体风格语体风格；文体风格表现风格表现风格读后续写评分原则解读读后续写评分原则解读01020304本题总分为25分，按七个档次进行评分阅卷评分时，应主要从内容、语言表达和内容、语言表达和篇章结构篇章结构三个方面考虑，具体为：（1）创造内容的质量，续写的完整性完整性以及与原文情境的融洽融洽度度。（2）使用词汇和语词汇和语法结构的准确性，恰法结构的准确性，恰当性和多样性当性和多样性。（3）上下句的衔接上下句的衔接性性和上下文的连贯性上下文的连贯性。评分时，先根据文章的内容和语言初步确定其所属档次

4、，然后以该档次的要求来衡量，确定或调整档次，最后给分。评分时还应注意（1）所续写短文的词数应为150左右（词数不少于（词数不少于120120）；）；（2）续写与标点符标点符号号是语言准确性的一个方面，评分时，应视其对交际的影响程度予以考虑。英、美拼写和词汇用法均可。(3）如书写书写较差以致影响交际，可将分数降低一个档次。内涵内涵身材身材颜值颜值档次档次描述描述第七档（22-25分）漂漂亮亮漂漂亮亮无大语法错误，可以有2-3处拼写或者词形错误 创造了丰富、合理的内容，富有逻辑性，续写完整，与原文情境融洽度高。使用了多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达流畅语言错误很少，且完全不影响理解。自然有效地使用

5、了段落间、语句间衔接手段，全文结构清晰，前后呼应，意义连贯。第六档（18-21分）清清楚楚清清楚楚2-3处大语法错误创造了比较比较丰富、合理的内容，比较有逻辑性，续写比较完整，与原文情境融洽度较高。使用了比较多样且恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达比较流畅，有个别错误但不影响理解。比较有效地使用了语句间衔接手段，全文结构比较清晰，意义比较连贯。第五档（15-17分）平平淡淡平平淡淡1/3的语言错误 创造了基本基本合理的内容，有一定的逻辑性，续写基本完整，与原文情境相关。使用了比较恰当的词汇和语法结构，表达方式不够多样性，表达有些许错误，但基本不影响理解。使用了语句间衔接手段，全文结构比较清晰，意义基本

6、连贯。第四档（11-14分）马马虎虎马马虎虎一半的语言错误创造了基本完整的故事内容，但情节不够合理或逻辑性不强，与原文情境基本相关。使用了简单的词汇和语法结构，有部分语言错误或不恰当之处。个别部分影响理解。尚有语句衔接手段，全文结构基本清晰，意义基本连贯。第三档（6-10分）糊里糊涂糊里糊涂2/3的语言错误 内容和逻辑上有一些重大问题，续写不够完整，与原文有一定程度脱节。所用的词汇有限，语法结构单调，错误较多且比较低级，影响理解。未能有效地使用语句间衔接手段，全文结构不够清晰，意义欠连贯。第二档（1-5分）艰艰难难艰艰难难内容和逻辑上有较多重大问题或有部分内容抄自原文，续写不完整与原文情境节本

7、脱节。所使用的词汇非常有限，语法结构单调，错误较多，严重影响理解。几乎没有使用语句间衔接手段，全文结构不清晰，意义不连贯。第一档（0分）干干净净干干净净未作答；所写内容太少或无法看清以致无法评判，所写内容全部抄自原文或与题目要求完全不相关。内容、语言表达和篇章结构内容、语言表达和篇章结构The Meredith family lived in a small community.As the economy was in decline,some people in the town had lost their jobs.Many of their families were struggl

8、ing to make ends meet.People were trying to help each other meet the challenges.Mrs.Meredith was a most kind and thoughtful woman.She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor.She knew they had problems,and they needed all kinds of help.When she had time,she would bring food and medicine to them.

9、One morning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before.There was a man sick in bed,his wife,who took care of him and could not go out to work,and their little boy.The little boy-his name was Bernard-had interested her very much.“I wish you could see him,”she said to her own

10、children,John,Harry,and Clara.“He is such a help to his mother.He wants very much to earn some money,but I dont see what he can do.”After their mother left the room,the children sat thinking about Bernard.“I wish we could help him to earn money,”said Clara.“His family is suffering so much.”“So do I,

11、”said Harry.“We really should do something to assist them.”For some moments,John said nothing,but,suddenly,he sprang to his feet and cried,“I have a great idea!I have a solution that we can all help accomplish(完成).”The other children also jumped up all attention.When John had an idea,it was sure to

12、be a good one.Ill tell you what we can do,”said John.“You know that big box of com Uncle John sent us?Well,we can make popcorn(爆米花),and put it into paper bags,and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”2020 2020山东高考读后续写山东高考读后续写山东高考读后续写山东高考读后续写setting(when,where)Theme(main idea+writing

13、 purpose)characters(who)plot（what,how,why)What makes a story?What makes a great story?vivid&proper descriptionsStory elements7Read for the theme.（确定主题）Read for the plot.（定位线索）Outline the possible plots or events in each paragraph.（构思续写情节，搭建结构支架）Writing based on the outline and using sentence pattern

14、s.（运用用句型模板，落笔成文）Steps for continuation writingStep1Step2Step3Step48whowherewhenHowwhywhatbeginningMrs.Meredith&3 childern(John,Harry,Clare)Uncle JohnBernardWhen the economy was in declineHelp Bernard the family suffered so mucha small communityStep 1 Read for the theme(main idea +writing purpose)end

15、ing9 When the economy was in decline,Mrs.Meredith and her 3 children helped little Bernard who wanted to help his parents make ends meet by selling popcorn.main idea To show readers:There is love and kindness in the small community.writing purposeTheme Tip 1:Main idea covers the following elements:w

16、ho,when,where,what,why and how.Tip 2:Writing purpose refers to what the author wants to convey through the passage.Tip 3:The content of continuation writing must be consistent with the given storys main idea and writing purpose.10beginning beginning ClimaxClimaxendingendingPa1:BackgroundPa2:Mrs.Mere

17、dith characterPa3&4:a boy in need;a mother wanted to helpPa 5-8:Children wanted to helpDiscuss how to helpContinuation Pa1:Continuation Pa2:Tip 4:Predict the ending based on the plot and the theme.(reasonabe)11Para 1When Mrs.Meredith heard of Johns idea,she thought it was a good one,too._Para 2 With

18、 everything ready.Bernard started out on his new business._ 1.1.所续写的短文词数应为所续写的短文词数应为150150左右左右;2 2.续写部分分为两段续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好每段的开头语已为你写好;Step 3:Outline the possible plots or events in each paragraph.sold out&earned moneymade contact with Bernard.He agreed with the idea.the process of selling popco

19、rnmade preparations for popcorn.Bernard prepared the popcornTip 5:Predict the ending of para.1 based on the two given sentences.12灵动、恰当的灵动、恰当的 v./adj./adv.“with”的复合结构的复合结构非谓语；定从；强调，倒装非谓语；定从；强调，倒装情感描写的表达情感描写的表达Step 4:Writing based on the outline and using sentence patterns.13Tip 6:Language database f

20、or describing feelingsHis palms were sweating;with a heavy/sinking heart;His throat tightened with tension;Tears welled up in his eyes/blurred his eyes.His face turned red with shyness.His face lit up;lips curving into a smile;His eyes twinkled with joy;He opened arms with a broad smile.postive feel

21、ings negative feelings 14 When Mrs.Meredith heard of Johns idea，she thought it was a good one，too.they took actions to find the big box of corn.With the big box and three children，Mrs.Meredith drove to Bernard family.No sooner No sooner had they seen Bernard thanthan John couldnt wait to say the ide

22、a.Tears rolling down his face.Bernard failed to utter any words to convey his heartfelt thanks.Then they made every endeavor to make popcorn with the joint efforts.There was enough popcorn to sell.Whats more，Mrs.Meredith prepared bags to carry popcorn.With everything ready，Bernard started out on his

23、 new business.Bernard took it around to the houses and expected to sell more popcorn to earn more money.Tired as he was，Bernard was exceedingly delighted to earn some money and help his mother.Mrs.Meredith also bought popcorn to support Bernard.A sense of achievement coming in waves.three children t

24、ook delight in helping others meet the challenges.We always have opportunities to become a blessing for others and we should do our best to help each other just like the Meredith family.Version1*关键点衔接关键点衔接*语法结构和语法结构和词汇的丰富性：词汇的丰富性：1.形容词做状语2.独立主格3.不定式作定语4.as在虚拟语气中的倒装 When Mrs.Meredith heard of Johns i

25、dea，she thought it was a good one，too.The next day,they started to make popcorn with the big box of corn Uncle John sent them.They put the delicious popcorn into paper bags,which were ornamented with colorful ribbons.Then,they paid a visit to Bernards home with their special gifts.Johns great idea d

26、elighted Bernard beyond measure,for he now could earn some money on his own to support his family.He couldnt help shedding tears of excitement and gave the Meredith family a big embrace,expressing his heartfelt gratitude.With everything ready，Bernard started out on his new business.He waved.peddled,

27、took the popcorn around the houses and sold it.Better still,the smart John put forward an excellent idea that they should set up a stand,which could attract more customers.Though many of the people living in the community were impoverished,they still bought some popcorn to help Bernard.It was Bernar

28、ds pure love for his parents and other peoples kindness that assisted Bernards family actually.It is inevitable to encounter hardship,but love is what supports life forever.Version 2：*关键点衔接关键点衔接*语法结构和词语法结构和词汇的丰富性汇的丰富性1.非限制性定语从句2.原因状语从句3.现在分词做伴随状语4.同位语从句5 让步状语从句6 现在分词作定语7 强调句8 表语从句基于基于“评分原则评分原则”之外的美好

29、之外的美好1IIIIIIV高级句型（非谓语，三大从句，强调，倒装等）和高级词汇是博人眼高级句型（非谓语，三大从句，强调，倒装等）和高级词汇是博人眼球的高光点；球的高光点；续写结尾有升华主题的句子为好，该句子不一定是名言警句；续写结尾有升华主题的句子为好，该句子不一定是名言警句；续写部分与原文写作风格一致，句式相同的语料。比如本文故事是按续写部分与原文写作风格一致，句式相同的语料。比如本文故事是按照时间顺序来发展的。所以续写部分有时间状语从句或表明时间的状照时间顺序来发展的。所以续写部分有时间状语从句或表明时间的状语最好。语最好。回扣文中线索的是加分项。原文最后一句回扣文中线索的是加分项。原文最

30、后一句“Bernard can take it“Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it”around to the houses and sell it”挨家挨户卖。挨家挨户卖。续写二段的卖爆米花的路线也是如此最妙续写二段的卖爆米花的路线也是如此最妙。17续写过程中所暴露出的主要问题：续写过程中所暴露出的主要问题：1.每次续写几乎绕不过去的坎儿：每次续写几乎绕不过去的坎儿：时态：时态：时态的使用比较随心所欲，不能一直坚守一般过去时；在主句中想过使用过去时，而从句又随性而起。人称：人称：自我代入感比较强“we,us,our”随处可

31、见。无聊对话太多无聊对话太多。情绪描写过于拖沓：情绪描写过于拖沓：大量伤心，快乐的句子堆砌，沉浸在该情绪中无法自拨，从而使故事发展的节奏拖沓或过缓。词性傻傻分不清楚。词性傻傻分不清楚。词汇使用不准确：词汇使用不准确：“顺利卖掉了爆米花”误用fluently等;格言突兀格言突兀“Where there is a will,there is a way.”被大量学生选做升华主题的名句。环境描写不应景，反而显得莫名其妙。环境描写不应景，反而显得莫名其妙。续写过程中所暴露出的主要问题：续写过程中所暴露出的主要问题：2.文章文章theme跑偏：跑偏：这篇文章的这篇文章的theme应该体现应该体现“lov

32、e&kindness”，但是个别同学写成了赞扬，但是个别同学写成了赞扬Bernard的的hard-working和和perseverance。3.细节处与原文呼应的不好，也就是融洽度不高。细节处与原文呼应的不好，也就是融洽度不高。原文最后一段已经交代原文最后一段已经交代Uncle John送了一大箱子玉米，续写时有同学又写送了一大箱子玉米，续写时有同学又写到去商店买玉米，信息不对称。到去商店买玉米，信息不对称。还有原文最后一句还有原文最后一句“Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it”挨家挨户卖，但在续写二段很多学生去了挨家挨户卖

33、，但在续写二段很多学生去了cinema，或者，或者the place where the rich live.4.情商有点低，考虑不周全情商有点低，考虑不周全 大多数学生都能想到在续写第一段写上全家大多数学生都能想到在续写第一段写上全家“众志成城众志成城”制作爆米花，制作爆米花，但是却忘了与帮扶对象但是却忘了与帮扶对象Bernard对接，缺少一个沟通的过程。对接，缺少一个沟通的过程。续写过程中所暴露出的主要问题：续写过程中所暴露出的主要问题：5.时间跨度略大时间跨度略大有同学写到若干年后，有同学写到若干年后，Bernard通过卖爆米花致富，吃水不忘挖井人，回馈通过卖爆米花致富，吃水不忘挖井人，回馈村民。有点远。村民。有点远。6.没有生活常识，没有生活常识，制作爆米花还要找个大脸盆子好好洗一洗制作爆米花还要找个大脸盆子好好洗一洗.7.对续写二段已知句的关键词对续写二段已知句的关键词new business的理解比较跳脱。的理解比较跳脱。8.学生往往重点关注故事情节的构思，而忽视对原文语言风格特点忽视对原文语言风格特点的具的具体分析。不少学生倾向于使用自己熟悉的词汇和句型，多以叙事性语言为主，缺乏描述性语言。缺乏描述性语言。新高考，既是挑战，又是机遇；机遇往往大于挑战！Thank youThank you！