大学英语作文讲评.ppt

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1、1.WritingPracticeDirections:Youaretowritein100-120wordsaboutthetitle“TheTwo-dayWeekend”.YoushouldbaseyourcompositionontheoutlinegiveninChinesebelow:1.双休日给大学生带来的好处。双休日给大学生带来的好处。2双休日可能给大学生带来的问题。双休日可能给大学生带来的问题。3.我应当怎样过好双休日。我应当怎样过好双休日。The Twoday weekendThetwo-dayweekendnotonlyallowsustorelax,butalsogive

2、susthechancetotakeupsomehobbies.However,thetwo-dayweekendhascausedafewproblems.Themostseriousoneisthattheweekdaysarefilledwithtoomanylessons.Becauseourclassesarelimitedto5days,MondaythroughFriday,wehavetotakemorelessonseachdaythaninthepast.Thisleavesuslittletimetocatchourbreathduringtheweekdays.Inor

3、dertobenefitmostfromthetwo-dayweekend,Ihavedecidedtomakeagoodplanforthatrestperiod.Duringtheweekend,Iwillnotonlyrestandtakeupsomehobbies,butIwillalsosetasideenoughtimetostudy.点评：本文依照提纲展开，首段说明了双休日的种种点评：本文依照提纲展开，首段说明了双休日的种种好处，第二段段首的好处，第二段段首的however转折的同时，也起了承转折的同时，也起了承前启后的作用，最后一段说明了自己将如何过好双休前启后的作用，最后一段

4、说明了自己将如何过好双休日的计划。日的计划。2.“How to Deal with Cheating”.1.当今的校园里出现了各种各样的作弊手段。当今的校园里出现了各种各样的作弊手段。2.作弊的原因。作弊的原因。3.怎样杜绝作弊。怎样杜绝作弊。How to Deal with CheatingMany students tend to cheat during exams.Somewillcopytheanswersfromtheirbooks.Otherswillphysicallycommunicatewitheachothertogettherightanswers.Thereareev

5、ensomethatwritedowninformationontheirhandsorarms.There are several reasons for cheating.Firstly,somestudentsjustwanttoachievehighscoreswithouthavingtoworkhard.Secondly,someareundergreatpressureandtheyarefearfuloffailingexams.Finallysomeareafraidthattheywillfallbehindothersintheexams.There are at lea

6、st two ways to eliminate cheating.Onewayistoexplaintostudentsthatcheatingisharmful.Anotherwayistotakestrictmeasurestopreventcheating.点评：本文紧扣三点提纲展开讨论，每段的首句点明点评：本文紧扣三点提纲展开讨论，每段的首句点明了该段的主题大意，结构层次一目了然，词句运用得了该段的主题大意，结构层次一目了然，词句运用得当当。3.“On-campus Students Marrying”.1.如何看待在校大学生结婚的问题如何看待在校大学生结婚的问题2.国家允许在校学生

7、结婚国家允许在校学生结婚3.在校学生结婚对学生的影响在校学生结婚对学生的影响4.你的观点你的观点On-campus Students MarryingThereisanewdebate:IsitlegalforChineseon-campusstudentstogetmarriedbeforetheygraduate?Somepeoplesay“yes”whileotherssay“no”.Infact,thegovernmentallowson-campusstudentstogetmarriedbeforetheygraduate.Somearguethatiftheygetmarried

8、,theirschoolworkcouldbeaffectedandtheymaynotgraduate.Inmyopinion,itisunnecessarytobanon-campusstudentsfromgettingmarriedbeforetheyfinishcollege.However,itshouldnotbeadvocatedorencouraged.Studentsarerequiredtostudy.So,Ibelievethatallon-campusstudentsshoulddealwiththisissueinasensitive明智的明智的way.点评：本文基

9、本符合提纲要求点评：本文基本符合提纲要求4.“ProtectionofRelics”1.经济的发展在一定程度上破坏了历史建筑经济的发展在一定程度上破坏了历史建筑（relics）2.需要对历史建筑进行保护需要对历史建筑进行保护3.保护历史建筑的具体措施保护历史建筑的具体措施。ProtectionofRelicsAlthougheconomicdevelopmenthasbroughtsomuchconveniencetousandmadetheearthabetterplacetolivein,wecannotdenythatmodernizationhasdestroyedsomeofourr

10、elics.Thehighpublicity公众的注意公众的注意aboutdamagedrelicshasbroughtourattentiontoprotectthem,forrelicsarenotonlysignificant,butalsovaluable.Theyrepresentthedevelopmentofhumanbeingscivilizationandthusshouldbepreserved.Otherwise,theyoungergenerationwillhavelittleideaofwhattheirforefathers祖先祖先werelikeandhowth

11、eylived.Inordertofullyprotectourrelics,governmentshouldplayamajorrole.And,asindividualsweshouldarouseourconsciousnesstowardspreservingourforefathersassets财产财产andtryourbesttoprotectthem.点评：本文结构清晰，层次分明，遣词造句较得当，论点评：本文结构清晰，层次分明，遣词造句较得当，论述较为充分。述较为充分。5.“MyViewonDisposableProducts”1.随着人们生活节奏的加快，一次性用品随着人们生活

12、节奏的加快，一次性用品（Disposable Product）越来越多。）越来越多。2.使用一次性用品的利与弊。使用一次性用品的利与弊。3.我的看法。我的看法。MyViewonDisposableProductsLifeisbecomingincreasinglyconvenient,andespeciallyforbusypeoplewhoarealwaysonthemove,disposableproductsareaconveniencefactor.Byusingdisposablelunchcans,peoplecanhavetheirluncheswithoutworryingab

13、outdishwashing.Atthesametimehowever,usingtoomanydisposableproductswillharmtheenvironment.Thehighquantitiesofaccumulatedgarbageresultingfromtheuseofdisposableproductshavebecomeapollutionproblem.In my opinion,the existence of disposableproducts is perfectly justified,but its use should berestricted限限

14、制制.More eco-friendly保保护护生生态态的 methodssuch as thorough cleaning and reusing should beintroducedtoachievebothconvenienceandconservationoftheenvironment.点评：本文紧扣提纲展开，每个观点仅用一到两句话就点评：本文紧扣提纲展开，每个观点仅用一到两句话就点明主题、论证观点，简洁明了，词汇运用得当。点明主题、论证观点，简洁明了，词汇运用得当。6.“FamilyEducation”1.现今父母非常重视家庭教育。现今父母非常重视家庭教育。2.家庭教育的优、劣势

15、。家庭教育的优、劣势。3.你的看法。你的看法。Family EducationParentsinChinaarenowadayspayingmoreattentiontothetrainingoftheironlychild.Atpresent,manychildrenincitieshavefamilytutorsandmorechildrenhavetotakelessonsbeforetheygotoschool.Familyeducationhasbothadvantagesanddisadvantages.Themainadvantageisthatchildrencanlearnm

16、uchmoreandcandevelopthemselvesasearlyaspossible.Thedisadvantageisthattoomuchfamilyeducationmaycausechildrentolosetheirsenseoflivingandstudying.Also,childrenwillhavelesstimetoplayortodowhattheylike.Inmyopinion,toomuchortoolittlefamilyeducationwillbothdoharmtochildrenandevenleadtodisastrous极坏的，很糟的极坏的，

17、很糟的circumstances境况境况.点评：本文详尽地论述了提纲中的各点要求，每段的段首点评：本文详尽地论述了提纲中的各点要求，每段的段首句点明该段的主题大意，层次清晰，结构分明，用词准确，句点明该段的主题大意，层次清晰，结构分明，用词准确，举例恰当。举例恰当。7.“OnaHarmoniousDormitoryLife”.1.宿舍生活有时会出现不和谐的情况。宿舍生活有时会出现不和谐的情况。2.一个和谐宿舍生活的必要性。一个和谐宿舍生活的必要性。3.如何创造和谐的宿舍生活。如何创造和谐的宿舍生活。OnaHarmoniousDormitoryLifeDormitorylifeisanindis

18、pensable必不可少的，必需的必不可少的，必需的partofastudentslife.Butsometimestheharmonyinthedormitorywillbedisrupted扰乱扰乱.Forexample,somememberslistentomusiclateatnightandcauselight欠缺欠缺的、不够的的、不够的sleepers（容易醒的人）toberestless焦躁不安的；静焦躁不安的；静不下来的不下来的.（heavysleeper不容易醒的人）Asiscommonlyknown,aharmoniousdormitorylifeisimportantto

19、studentsorworkmatesandbenefitsallmembers.Itallowsustorelaxandfocusonourstudiesorwork.Also,wewillgetalongbetterandenjoy喜爱喜爱eachotherscompany同伴同伴(们们).Thereareseveralwaystocreateandmaintainaharmoniousdormitorylife.Firstly,youhavetogetridofyourbadhabits,ifthereareany.Secondly,whenanannoyingsituationaris

20、es,youlljusthavetolearntodiscussthiswiththepersonsinvolvedandhopefully抱着希抱着希望地望地haveasolution,orelse否则，要不然否则，要不然youwilljusthavetotolerate容忍，忍受容忍，忍受andco-exist和平共处和平共处witheachother.写作提纲提示：写作提纲提示：第一段：举例说明宿舍生活的不和谐之处。第一段：举例说明宿舍生活的不和谐之处。第二段：从正反两方面论证和谐的宿舍生活很重要。第二段：从正反两方面论证和谐的宿舍生活很重要。第三段：提出营造和谐的宿舍生活的三个方法。第

21、三段：提出营造和谐的宿舍生活的三个方法。点评：本文是一篇贴近学生生活的议论文。从叙述点评：本文是一篇贴近学生生活的议论文。从叙述问题着手，阐述和谐宿舍生活的重要性，提出创造问题着手，阐述和谐宿舍生活的重要性，提出创造和谐宿舍生活的方法。和谐宿舍生活的方法。8.“MyViewontheNewTuitionPolicy”1.高校收费是一个客观事实，人们对此认识不一。高校收费是一个客观事实，人们对此认识不一。2.高校收费带来的一系列影响。高校收费带来的一系列影响。3.你的观点。你的观点。MyViewontheNewTuitionPolicyAccordingtoChinasnewtuitionpol

22、icy,studentswillhavetopayfortheireducation.Somepeoplethinkthiswillbedetrimental不利的不利的tostudentsandtheirfamilies,whileothersthinkthispolicywillbebeneficialinthelongrun从长远看从长远看.Thenewtuitionpolicyhasprofound深刻的深刻的influencesonstudents.Firstly,itwillbeinevitably必然地必然地stressfulforfamilies.Secondly,thenew

23、policyradically.根本地根本地altersthetraditionalobligation义务，责任义务，责任ofthestatetofund给给拨款拨款 universitytuitionfees教学费教学费.Ithinkweneedtoadvocatethenewpolicy.Itrelievesthegovernmentoftheburdenofsupportinghighereducation.Atthesametime,weshouldhelpthosestudentswhocannotfinance提供资金提供资金theirtuitionfees,makingsure

24、thattheywillnotdropoutbecauseoffinancialproblems.点评：本文结构清晰，层次分明，遣词造句得当，对提点评：本文结构清晰，层次分明，遣词造句得当，对提纲各点的论述较详尽合理，观点明确。纲各点的论述较详尽合理，观点明确。9.“PsychologyinOurLife”1.试着谈谈心理健康的重要性。试着谈谈心理健康的重要性。2.结合自身情况，谈谈如何保持心理健康。结合自身情况，谈谈如何保持心理健康。PsychologyinOurLifePsychologyplaysanimportantroleinourdailylives.Ifyouarepsychol

25、ogicallyhealthy,youwillhavetheconfidencetocopewithdifficulties.Ifnot,youmayfeelsadandfrustratedthroughoutyourlife.Sohavingahealthypsychologyisnecessary.Thereareatleastthreemethodsofstayingpsychologicallyhealthy.First,trytocontrolyourselfwhenyouareinamess脏乱状态；困境脏乱状态；困境.Second,believeinyourselfafteryo

26、uhaveassessed评价评价yoursituation状况状况carefully.Third,youshouldbeselfdisciplined自律自律,whichallowsyoutobesensible明智的明智的whenyouarereallyattheedgeofanoutbreak爆发爆发.AsfarasIamconcernedasfaras.beconcerned就就而言而言,applyingthesethreemethodsisimportanttostaypsychologicallyhealthy.Tome,thisisthepsychologyinourlife.点

27、评：论题稍显抽象，但心理健康问题是近年关点评：论题稍显抽象，但心理健康问题是近年关注的热点问题之一。本文结合实际情况进行阐述，注的热点问题之一。本文结合实际情况进行阐述，层次分明。层次分明。10.“Long-distanceEducation”1.在中国，远程教育发展迅速。在中国，远程教育发展迅速。2.远程教育加强了发达地区与贫困地区、国内院校与国远程教育加强了发达地区与贫困地区、国内院校与国外院校之间的联系。外院校之间的联系。3.然而，中国的远程教育还很不发达。然而，中国的远程教育还很不发达。Long-distance EducationWiththepopularizationofcomp

28、uterandinformationtechnology,longdistanceeducationhasdevelopedatarathersurprisingspeedinChinaandprovestobeaneffectivewayoflearning.Thankstodistancelearning,manypeopleinlessdevelopedareascanenjoyequalopportunitiesasthoselivingindevelopedareas.Whatismore,itenablesstudentsinChinatohavethesameaccesstoin

29、formation,asthosestudentslivingabroad.However,longdistanceeducationinChinaisstillfarfromperfectandneedstobeimprovedintwoareas.First,facilitiessuchascomputers,andinformationnetworkfordistancelearningarestilllackinginsomeareasandshouldbeinstalled.Second,moreinformationandcoursesinChinashouldbeavailabl

30、ethroughdistanceeducationtomeetthegrowingneeds.点评：目前远程教育是一个比较热门的话题，本文按照点评：目前远程教育是一个比较热门的话题，本文按照提纲的三点要求顺次展开，层次分明，段与段之间联结提纲的三点要求顺次展开，层次分明，段与段之间联结紧密。紧密。11.“Wealth and Health”1.有人认为财富意味着一切。有人认为财富意味着一切。2.实际上健康比财富更重要。实际上健康比财富更重要。3.试比较说明。试比较说明。Wealth and HealthWhenaskedwhattheaimoftheirlifeis,thevastmajori

31、tyofpeoplesay“makingmoney”.Foronething,wealthcanensurethemacomfortablelife.However,asfarasIamconcerned,ifIhadtochoosebetweenwealthandhealth,Iwouldpreferhealth.Ontheonehand,richpeoplecanaffordeverythingtheydreamof.Butsometimeswealthcannotbuyhealth.Ontheotherhand,peoplewhoarehealthybutnotwealthycanmak

32、emoneythroughtheirowneffortsandcanenjoythefruitoftheirlabor.Inconclusion最后最后,总之总之,healthismoreimportantthanwealth.Thosewhoarerichbutarenothealthy,andtheyareactuallysuffering痛苦痛苦.分析：本文紧扣提纲展开论述，观点明确，条例分析：本文紧扣提纲展开论述，观点明确，条例清晰，用词较准确。清晰，用词较准确。12.“Woman in Modern Society”1.Roleofwomeninmodernsociety.2.Pre

33、judices偏见偏见anddiscrimination.歧视歧视againstwomen.3.Mycomments.WomaninModernSocietyWomenplayanimportantpartinmodernsociety.Nowadays,manywomengointospecializedfieldssuchasmedicine,lawandengineering.Theycomprise构成，组成构成，组成 alargepartoftheworkersinbusinessesandfactoriesandtheyaremakingoutstandingcontributio

34、nstomodernsociety.However,peoplearestillasserting肯定地说，断言肯定地说，断言thatmenaresuperiorto比比优越优越(好好women.First,therearemanyjobswhichcannotbecarriedoutbywomenbecausetheyarenotphysicallystrongenough.Second,mostoftheworld-famousscientistsandstatesmenaremale.Finally,mostofsociety上流社会上流社会seemstobedominated占首要地位

35、占首要地位bymen.Personally亲自；就个人来说亲自；就个人来说,Iamafeminist男女平等主义者男女平等主义者andstandforwomansrights.Sincebothmenandwomenareequallyimportantinhumanlifeandactivities,theyshouldhaveequalstanding地位地位.分析：本文紧扣提纲，立足于实际，展开论述。论点鲜明，分析：本文紧扣提纲，立足于实际，展开论述。论点鲜明，用词较丰富。用词较丰富。13.“TheRoleofMigrantWorkers”1.外来工对城市建设的贡献。外来工对城市建设的贡

36、献。2.外来工带来的问题。外来工带来的问题。3.我们应怎样面对。我们应怎样面对。TheRoleofMigrantWorkersAsiscommonlyknown,migrantworkershavemadeagreatcontributiontotheprosperityofcities.Theyareanindispensable必不可少的必不可少的partofourworkforce.However,migrantworkersalsobringproblems.First,theyhavetroublegettingtheirchildrenintochildcarecentersand

37、schoolsbecausetheyareunregisteredresidentsinthecity.Second,mostofthemigrantworkersswarm云集云集intobigcitiesjusttomakemoney.Beingunskilledandinexperienced,someofthemcanbarely几乎不几乎不affordtoliveabasiclife.Therefore,theyareapotentialthreattothepeaceandstabilityofthesociety.Inmyopinion,weshouldappreciatethe

38、greatcontributiontheyhavemade,butatthesametimemonitortheresultingproblems.点评：本题是近年来讨论的热点问题，本文紧扣提纲，点评：本题是近年来讨论的热点问题，本文紧扣提纲，展开论述。首段先明确了外来工对城市建设的贡献，展开论述。首段先明确了外来工对城市建设的贡献，第二段一一列举出外来工潜在的问题，最后一段提出第二段一一列举出外来工潜在的问题，最后一段提出个人见解。个人见解。14.“Whatdoesfriendshipmean?”1.友谊是认识永恒的主题。友谊是认识永恒的主题。2.友谊到底意味着什么。友谊到底意味着什么。3.

39、友谊的重要性。友谊的重要性。WhatdoesFriendshipMean?Whatdoesfriendshipmean?Thereisnodefiniteanswer.Asoneternal无休止的；永恒的无休止的；永恒的theme主题，主题，题目题目inliterature,friendshipisindispensabletodailylife.Friendshipisveryimportanttoourlife.Whenyouarehappy,friendshipislikeaddingflowerstocarpet;whenyouaresad,havingfriendsareacons

40、olation安慰，慰安慰，慰藉藉;ifyouareintrouble,friendswillsurroundyouandremovethebarriersforyou;ifyouarefacingdifficulties,youcanturntofriendsforhelp.Weadmire钦佩钦佩,羡慕羡慕thegreatfriendshipbetweenMarxandEngle,whichdrewthemtogetherandpushedthemontheroadtoexploringandfulfillingcommunism.Friendshipisnotalmighty全能的，万能

41、的全能的，万能的,butnoonecanlivehappilywithoutit.点评：本文类似抒情式的议论文，第二段中运用了排比点评：本文类似抒情式的议论文，第二段中运用了排比句，并巧妙地运用恩格斯和马克思的例子来证明友谊的句，并巧妙地运用恩格斯和马克思的例子来证明友谊的重要性。重要性。15.ALettertoaSchoolmateYoudonotneedtowriteyourownaddressandyourrealname.TheletteristoagoodfriendJohn,congratulatinghimonhisadmission准许进准许进(加加)入入toaprestigi

42、ous.有名望的，有威信的有名望的，有威信的university.Youshouldbaseyourcompositiononthefollowingoutline:1.对朋友进入大学表示祝贺。对朋友进入大学表示祝贺。2.介绍大学生活和中学生活的异同。介绍大学生活和中学生活的异同。3.对如何成功地过好大学生活提出自己的建议。对如何成功地过好大学生活提出自己的建议。ALettertoaSchoolmateAugust16th,2006Dearfriend,ThelasttimethatImetyou,Iwassurprisedtofindthatyoureyeswereswollenandyou

43、rfacewaspale.LaterIwastoldthatyouhavebeenaddictedtoonlinegamingforalongtime.Asiscommonlyknown,itisveryharmfultospendtoomuchtimeplayinggamesonline.Firstly,itisawasteoftime.Secondly,itdoesgreatharmtoyourhealthifyouoftenstayuplateatnights.Thirdly,yourmentalhealth身心健康willbeseriouslyaffectedtoo.Ihopeyouw

44、illshiftyourattentiontoyourstudiesandwork.Trytotakeregularexercises,communicatewithothersmoreoftenandconcentrateonyourstudies.Inthisway,youwillhaveamore富有成效的富有成效的lifestyle.Ilookforwardtoyourreply.YoursSincerely,Chen点评：本文是一封建议信，信中劝告朋友戒玩网络游戏，说明沉溺于点评：本文是一封建议信，信中劝告朋友戒玩网络游戏，说明沉溺于网络游戏的危害，并提出如何摆脱网络游戏的忠告。网络

45、游戏的危害，并提出如何摆脱网络游戏的忠告。写作提纲提示：写作提纲提示：第一段：得知朋友玩网络游戏成瘾，非常吃惊，同时感到非常痛心。第一段：得知朋友玩网络游戏成瘾，非常吃惊，同时感到非常痛心。第二段：分析沉溺于网络游戏的种种危害第二段：分析沉溺于网络游戏的种种危害损害身心健康，浪费时损害身心健康，浪费时间和精力。间和精力。第三段：劝告朋友及时从沉迷网络游戏中摆脱出来。第三段：劝告朋友及时从沉迷网络游戏中摆脱出来。16.WritingalettertoafriendwhoislookingforjobAugust17th,2006Dearfriend,Iamwritingthislettertoa

46、dviseyoutoapplyforthepositionofEnglishtranslatorinourcompany.WeareinurgentneedofgoodtranslatorsandIamsurethatyouhaveagoodchanceofgettingthisjob.Asforthisposition,therearesomerequirements.Firstly,aTEM-8certificateisamust.Secondly,youmustbeabletotranslateanEnglisharticleof2,500wordsintoChinesewithinad

47、ay.Whatsmore,yourtranslationshouldbefluent,andbeasclosetotheoriginalmeaningaspossible.Youshouldreadsomereferencebooksontranslationskills.Also,itisnecessaryforyoutobroaden扩大扩大yourvocabulary,asyouwillnotbeallowedtolookupwordsinthedictionaryduringthetest.Iwishyousuccess.YoursSincerely,Huck点评：本文属于建议信。信中

48、说明了建议的内容以及理由，提醒朋友点评：本文属于建议信。信中说明了建议的内容以及理由，提醒朋友主义应聘的要求以及所应该做好的准备。最后，向朋友表示良好的祝主义应聘的要求以及所应该做好的准备。最后，向朋友表示良好的祝愿。写信时，要主义段落之间的过渡要自然。愿。写信时，要主义段落之间的过渡要自然。写作提纲提示：写作提纲提示：第一段：建议朋友应聘翻译一职并说明原因。第一段：建议朋友应聘翻译一职并说明原因。第二段：告知应聘翻译的基本条件。第二段：告知应聘翻译的基本条件。第三段：给出建议，如看一些翻译技巧方面的书籍，并扩大词汇量。第三段：给出建议，如看一些翻译技巧方面的书籍，并扩大词汇量。第四段：祝愿朋

49、友应聘成功。第四段：祝愿朋友应聘成功。17.“AnnualExpensesonLearningEnglish某市大学生购买英语资料的年人均投入某市大学生购买英语资料的年人均投入 时间时间 90年代初年代初 2005年年 年人均投入年人均投入 60 1701.上图为某市上图为某市90年代初和年代初和2005年大学生者购买英语年大学生者购买英语资料变化表，请描述图表内容。资料变化表，请描述图表内容。2.解释发生以上变化的原因（可涉及对英语的重视程解释发生以上变化的原因（可涉及对英语的重视程度增加；科技发展使新的学习产品不断涌现）。度增加；科技发展使新的学习产品不断涌现）。3.我的看法。我的看法。A

50、nnual Expenses on English LessonsTheformshowsthataverageamountofmoneyspentonEnglishmaterialshasincreasedfrom60RMBintheearly1990sto170RMBin2005.Fromthis,weknowthatstudentsarenowadaysspendingmoremoneyonEnglishlessons.Somereasonscanexplainthistrend.First,manystudentsrealizetheimportanceofstudyingEnglis