应用文之演讲稿练习写作作文评析 讲义-高考英语复习备考.docx

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1、应用文之演讲稿练习写作作文评析一、试题回顾假设你是育才中学的学生李华，你校将举办一次主题为Never Give Up的英语演讲比赛，请你用英文写一篇演讲稿，内容包括：1 .你对Never give up的理解；2,以你亲身经历的事件阐述主题。注意：1.词数100词左右。2 .开头以为你写好，不计入总词数。Never Give UpWhen we are in trouble, we are always told “Never giveup.二、学生考场习作呈现Never Give UpWhen wc arc in (rouble, wc arc always told Never give

2、up.As is Sown to us all. there isno denying of thfact that the jiood of Life is never straight andsmooth； ond it is indespensibl forus to come across oil kindsof odvunities ond diffjcuLties. Hcnse. Never give uptht whatever he。叫 pain、we ,u件 fromjust confront it.beoi也 Lenm from it mH enntinuz to go o

3、hI i/vith perseverance.Tak? my Mn experience for on example. Ploying the, uiolinonce my dream, but it is quite difficult for me to ciPtP nsong the beginning. / w。，abQut to give up 囚hen my teacherp/icour呼 me m keep on trying. After thojL exercise 履小， then before even forgo to din& Al a result. L rnd

4、made greatprogress mdWonpdadnc叫Ntition. Lt wqs tny first time4 s Churchill onceto the flavor 0 f st/ccess after working hard persisted.putlLSu3s going from failure to 网-ure without giu? it 卯.三、作文评析（）作文亮点该篇习作按向书面表达试题的要求，完全完成了试题规定的任 务，覆盖了所有内容要点，并通过自己对写作主题的理解，以及对 个人经历和所思所想的描述，让文章内容更加充实丰富。在写作过 程中，作者应用了较

5、多的语法结构和词汇，并有效地使用了语句间 的连接成分，使全文结构紧凑。整篇文章体现了作者扎实的语言功 底和较强的语言运用能力，完全达到了预期的写作目的。L结构清晰，要点齐全文章首段的Never give up means that.,中段的 Take my own experience as an example,尾段的 As Churchill once put it,三句话 开门见山，直入主题，全面覆盖试题内容要点，清晰准确点明文章 结构（总分总）。2,内容合理，衔接自然文章中段讲述了作者儿时练习小提琴遇到困难却没放弃，在老 师鼓励下克服障碍最终获得成功的故事。个人经历举例恰当，呼应 首段

6、作者对never give up的理解，传达了正确的情感态度与价值观。 尾段丘吉尔名言成功是经历了一个又一个失败后仍不失去热情的 引用贴合主题，首尾呼应。除此之外，文章中 he nee（因此），but, after that, as a result 等 衔接词的有效使用，均使文章的行文叙事更加自然流畅。3.词汇丰富，语言优美（1）语料积累深厚，运用得心应手作者在描述人生之中遇到的困难时，用了三种不同的表达：表达一：The road of life is never straight and smooth.其中 straight and smooth采用了 Alliteration （押头韵）

7、的修辞手法。该 修辞手法常用于英文诗歌或散文，能够让语言体现音乐美和整齐美。 类似的表达还有 pride and prejudice, safe and sound, thick and thin 等等0表达二：come across adversities and difficulties（adversity 意为 逆境、困境，属于六级词汇）o表达三：suffer from heavy pains三种形式的表达都十分恰当，并且避免了用词重复，体现出作 者英语语言的丰富性和较强的语言运用能力。（2）句子层次感强，读起来朗朗上口在陈述对never give up的理解时，作者写至ij Whate

8、ver heavy pains we suffer from, just confront it, beat it, learn from it and continue to go ahead with perseverance。直面、克服、学习、 前行，这几个动词的连续叠加使用既表达准确又朗朗上口。（3）句型丰富多样，体现文学修养As is known to us all, As Churchill once put it 使用 了 定语从句There is no denying of the fact that 使用 了 同位语从句Whatever heavy pains we suff

9、er from 使用 了 让步状语从句be about to do sth when, make progress, it was ones first time to d。sth等搭配的使用，均体现了作者所掌握句式的丰富多样性。最后一段对丘吉尔名言的引用体现了作者阅读面、知识面的宽 广。（二）修改意见1 .语言问题（1）时态文章中段在叙述亲身经历时，应当统一使用一般过去时。原文 it 反 quite difficult.改为 it was quite difficult.原文 when my teacher encourage me.改为 when my teacher encourrqed

10、 me.(2)词汇拼写错误indespensible应为indispensable不可或缺的、必须的 persistedly应为persistently坚持不懈地、一直地用词不当I 原文I exercise harder than before even forgot to dine”改 为I practiced harder than before and even forgot to eat”exercise通常指的是身体锻炼，而文中应为练习，改为practiced dine指就餐，通常用于正式场合，不太符合语境，改为eatI 原文It was my first time to taste

11、 the flavor of success改为 “It was the first time that I had enjoyed to mv hearts content the ioy of successtaste和flavor的动宾搭配过于中式，改为enjoy to my hearts content the joy尽情地享受喜悦(3)句子I 首段中 As is known to us all 与 there is no denying of the fact that语义有重复， 可删除其中一个。I尾段只引用名言，却并未点评，且引用名言部分与原文有 出入，建议改为 As Churc

12、hill once put it, “Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm”. Never should we give up.2 .构思问题中段在叙述自己经历时，在强调老师给予的帮助以外，没有侧 重自身主观能动性的努力，在情感态度的立意上略差了一些。原文“Take my own experience for an example. Playing the violin was once my dream, but it is quite difficult for me to

13、complete a song at the beginning 改为Take my own experience as an example, it was quite difficult for me to complete a song when I first learned how to play the violin. I was about to give up when it hit me that what a coward I would be if I quit at the very beginning/就在要放弃之时想到自己会成为懦夫，反思之后勤加练习最终 取得好成绩，这样情节更合理流畅，立意也更高。(三)定档给分本文阅卷老师实际给分为第五档中的24.5分。