The Simpsons《辛普森一家》第三十三季第二十二集完整中英文对照剧本.docx

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1、辛普森一家第三十三季第二十二集本季终是曲奇Mmm, cookies.这不是曲奇是饼干Theyre not cookies, theyre biscuits.是英国人的曲奇Thats british for cookies.都不许吃不行不行And theyre not for you or you or you.你也不行不行不行Or you or you. Not you.还有你Not for you.这是给我的姐♥妹&hearts们♥准备的点心These treats are for my lady friends.今天她们要来一起看一部Theyre coming

2、over to watch a very classy非常经典的英国历史剧historical british streaming show,你们都不许来捣乱and none of you are invited.我的妈耶Cor blimey.我给你们都找了点事做Now heres a distraction for each of you.安吉莉卡巴顿和末口推特我帮你下载了一集I downloaded you a podcast about beers你以前最喜欢的啤酒播客that you dont hear much about anymore.这一整集都在讲劳云堡啤酒耶Ooh, ther

3、es a whole episode about Lowenbrau.我带了点饮品来给大家助兴If no one minds, I brought a few beverages都没意见吧to lubricate the evening.我也带了 -还有我-Me, too. - Same.我也是-and get it done! - yes, mr. Simpson.补给柜你还能拿免费记号♥笔等我回了学校And you get free markers? When I get back to school, 我要把厕所小隔间变成西斯廷教堂Im gonna go sistine c

4、hapel on those toilet stalls.你还等什么Why wait?这是给你的辛普森Here you go, Simpson.工作中最好的局部best part of the job.你说得对琳达You know it, linda.老爸这是你的工资支票吗Dad, is that your paycheck?当然是Sure is.我能看看嘛Can I see it?我给你做得更好点Ill do you one better.历史支票现金兑换行自己兑换自己堕落使劲兑换见你面就要钱薪水日贷款日共和党兑换这里可能是高♥利♥贷♥给我全部零头G

5、ive it to me in singles.去掉8.5%的支票现金手续费Minus the 8.5% check-cashing fee.没空听你讲人生故事I didnt ask for your life story.这就是所有价值所得And heres what makes it all worthwhile.妈啊你每周都有那么多吗Whoa. You get all that every week?每两周Every two weeks.尊敬的笑声Ah, the laugh of respect.我的天是照相H吗Oh, my god, is it picture day?丽莎快点我来整理

6、一下你的头发Lisa, quick, let me fix your hair.行了今天不是照相日Ow! its not picture day, 我的头发也不是意大利面 And my hairs not pasta. 我这样穿是为了向老爹致敬 I am dressed this way to honor dad. 我从没这么想过但是侯默赚的够多 I never thought about it, but homer makes enough 能负担这个超赞的房♥子两辆车 To pay for this awesome crib, two cars, 还有剩余可以填满冰箱With

7、 enough left over to fill the freezer 买♥♥得起三种薯条 with three kinds of french fries 华夫饼状扭扭状还有直的 Waffle, curly and steak-cut. 老爸这些年以来Dad, all these years我以为你就是某某超级逊的室友I thought you were just some uncool roommate 我不得不忍♥受That 1 got stuck with.现在我发现你是人生赢家Now I realize youre a winner.这就

8、是为什么我想成为一名核电站平安督察员And thats why I want to be a nuclear safety inspector. 马姬他不只是尊敬我Marge, he doesnt just respect me.他是想成为我这样的人 He wants to be me. 我被触动到了 What a feeling. 勒布朗有的一定是这种感觉 Oh. this must be how Lebron feels about. 我的小勒布朗.Bronny.像你一样爸爸我等不及Just like you, dad, I cant wait要实现美国梦了to live the amer

9、ican dream.那个其实Well, actually.-什么-哦没事-What? - Oh, nothing.我是个超级明星宇航员Im a superstar spaceman.我是现代超级英雄我会飞Im a modern superhero. I can fly, 但我处理不好自己的创伤But I cant process my own trauma.我是核平安员Im a nuclear safety guy.他们付我很多钱以免我炸掉镇子I get tons of money for not blowing the town up.其实真♥相♥是Well,

10、the thing about that is.-什么啊-没什么-What? - Nothing.忘了我说的话吧Forget I said anything.春田核电站爸爸猜怎么着Hey, dad, guess what.我自己做了个工作证拉里竟然让我进来了I made a homemade id badge, and Larry just waved me in. 他去哪了Huh. Where is he?这II作真不错Oh, man, what a gig.侯默挺轻松啊Homers got it made.他是挺轻松的He sure does.你今天来找你♥爸♥

11、啊So, youre visiting your old man at work today?是啊这个美差迟早是我的I sure am. And this sweet job will be mine someday.什么情况Wha.?不想打破你的幻想孩子Hate to burst your bubble, kid,但你♥爸♥这种工作but the kind of job your dad has-已经不复存在了 -为什么-just doesnt exist anymore. - Why not?一两句话说不清楚Well, theres no simple answ

12、er to that.好吧回见All right. See you later.巴仔跟我一起去到神奇的Bart, come with me to a magical place far in the past 二十世纪的美国吧America in the 20th century.好吧Uh, sure.但你最好别唱歌♥But you better not start singing.*1945年我们赢得了战争*1945, we won the war*士兵们回到了工厂*Our boys came back to the factory floor*过着美好生活笑容常挂脸上*The

13、 good times rolled, and smiles were on our faces*人们都能找到合适的岗位*With plentiful jobs for folks of all ages*招聘有胡子优先*蠢懒汉都能赚很多*Even dumb slobs made excellent wages*国家蓬勃开展*The country was booming*种族歧视依然严重*Though still pretty racist*时代♥开♥始开展*0h, and so it came to pass*有闯劲厚脸皮的辛勤工人*With hard work

14、 and grit and brass*我们渐渐形成了中产阶级*Bit by bit, we built our middle class* 精致的中产阶级*Nice little middle class* 我没钱买♥♥吃的和汽油*1 need cash for food and gas* 夜光海报啤酒还有大♥麻♥*Black light posters, beer and grass* 我该加入中产阶级了*Time for me to join the middle class+* 中产阶级*0h, boy, that middle

15、class* 快来加入中产阶级*Go join that middle class* 我既不聪明也不能干*WeIl, Im not smart, Im not a go-getter* 爱喝酒的毛病也好不了*My drinking problems not getting better+* 我能干什么工作呢*What job could I possibly do* 核平安检查员*Nuclear safety inspector* 你父亲和他的朋友们过得很好*Your dad and his buddies had it swell*但渐渐地一切都糟透了*But gradually it al

16、l went to hell* 工厂倒闭失业人数猛增Factories closed, unemployment would spike.你被解雇了核电站破产下面请听罗伯特瑞奇的解释Here to explain it is Robert B. Reich.美国劳工部前部长工会衰落公♥司♥贪婪猖獗The decline of unions, rampant corporate greed, 公会成员 金融业失职wall street malfeasance.公♥司♥利润目光短浅的政♥治♥开始兴起And the

17、rise of shortsighted politics.加剧了经济不平等All contributed to increased economic inequality.收入不平衡人♥民♥普遍失业收入停滞Widespread real unemployment, wage stagnation, 失业率数百万美国人生活水平下降and a lower standard of living for millions of Americans. 生活水平 一切糟透了*工资被削减来抬高股价*They chopped salaries to raise stock pri

18、ces*派切小块一人一片*Cut up the pie and kept all the slices*税收减免总裁来办*Tax breaks went to CEOs*永不流向普通职员*Never trickling down to average Joes*然后一切发生*And so it came to pass*贪婪富人落井下石*Greedy rich men kicked our ass*漠然看我们毁掉中产阶级*Fiddling while they burned our middle class*可怜的小中产阶级*Poor little middle class*谢谢你们的历史课呆

19、子All right, thanks for the history lesson, nerds.但这和我有什么关系But what does any of this have to do with me?你看我爸爸还在工作You see, my dads still working,我想成为他那样的人and I want to be just like him.我毫不怀疑Im sure you do.但还有一些东西你需要学习But theres something else you need to learn,我的这位朋友很乐意教你and my friend here is happy to

20、 teach you.是你啊Ugh, you.这几天你一直很想说什么说出来吧For days, youve been dying to say something. Just spill it.*你想要像爸爸那种工作抱歉*You want a job like Dad? Too bad, so sad*你永远不会有我们胖爸爸的生活*oull never have the life our flabby dad had*有什么是机器人不能代替他做的*What can he do that a robot cant*这些奥利奥尝起来像核电站*These Oreos taste like nucle

21、ar plant* 我只要等一个机会*Yo, all I need is a foot in the doo* 等爸44岁去世我就接替他的工作*And Ill take Dads job when he dies at 44* 你要的工作需要博士学位*That job you see now needs a PhD* 但学生贷款都会让你穷困潦倒*While paying student loans leaves you in poverty* 没有新车没有豪♥宅♥*No brand-new car, no fancy house* 没有全职妻子给你做热晚餐*No h

22、ot dinners cooked by your stay-at-home spouse*你会每天精打细算*Youre gonna pinch every dollar and cent*却还是要斟酌*And youll still have to choose*付保险还是房♥租*Between health care and rent+* 我可能会选一台PS6*Ill probably just buy a PlayStation 6* 你还很天真但现实会到来*Youre naive, but itll pass* 滑板会被回收你会很快长大*Theyll repo your

23、skateboard, youll grow up fast* 他是杰夫贝索斯我们只是一群笨蛋*Hes Jeff Bezos, were just bozos* 再见了中产阶级*Goodbye, middle class*这些是事实没有争议*These are facts, theyre not controversial*我们甚至买♥♥不起这广♥告&hearts渎♥♥的东西*We cant even afford what they sell in this commercial*所以你是说我要找我爸那样的工作Okay,

24、so, youre saying maybe Ill have a tough time会很艰难getting a job like my dads.不我是说No, no, Im saying你绝不可能找到你♥爸♥那样的工作youll definitely never get a job like your dads, 而那些糟糕更多的工作and youll have a tough time你也很难找到finding something significantly worse.谢谢你的歌♥舞Thanks for the song and dance,

25、但我想我会没事的but I think Im gonna be just fine.*赚钱的方法不止一种*Cause theres a lot of new ways a guy can make a dollar*我要坐上赚钱的火车 让它下雨*Ill ride the money train, make it rain, holla*买&112上;&1102心渎♥♥比特币建个新程序*Ill buy and sell Bitcoin, build a new app*油管恶作剧我城擅长这个*Do pranks on YouTube, Im great at that

26、 crap*在我酷炸的摩托车上拍抖音*Film TikTok tricks on my sick motorbike*你的机会渺茫*Your chances are slim*去死吧罗伯特瑞奇*Go to hell, Robert Reich*那不是职业只是幸运的百万分之一*Those arent careers, theyre a million to one*你不那么幸运也没那么聪明*You aint that lucky and you aint smart, son*谁在乎我会找到新事业*Who gives a damn? Ill find my new jam* 在照片墙做网红*As

27、 an influencer on Instagram*巴仔辛普森网红* 如果这些都失败我还有备用计划*If all else fails, 1 got backup plans* 我可以在孤独粉丝网出♥卖♥♥♥色相*1 can shake my cans on LonelyFans*孤独粉丝网算了吧No. Just. no.好吧所以我没有任何选择Okay, great. So I have no options whatsoever.回见Smell you later, dude.不是很让人生气吗Isnt it infuriating?

28、我们活得永远不会像他们那样好Well never live as well as they did.为什么没人做点什么Why doesnt anyone do anything about this?这个问题有答案但你不会喜欢Well, theres an answer to that, but its not one youll like.*老谋子放音乐*Moe the bartender, serve it up on the mic*贪婪政客拟定糟糕法律*So, greedy politicians write bad laws*像圣诞老人一样只给富人福利*Throwing goodie

29、s to the rich like Santy Claus*我们穷♥人♥投票却被吃干抹净*They chew up us poors, who votes for these guys*所有朋友都像苍蝇-样死去*A11 my friends are dropping like flies*这些选民都是怎么被暗示的*And where are these voters getting their cues*选普♥京♥做总统福克斯新闻*Putin for president, next on Fox News*这就是何我们系统如此混乱*An

30、d thats why our system is so out of order*异装癖瘾君子正穿越我们的边界*Cross-dressing drug fiends are crossing our border*投票给枪♥支♥狂热者和不成认气候变化之人*We vote for gun nuts and climate deniers*Q队的疯子金融骗子满嘴谎言的政客*Lunatics from QAnon and con men and liars*摧毁了国民的平安网摧毁了医保系统*they shred our safety net and gut Medica

31、re*但却能获得我们的选票*but they get our vote*因为我们太容易被恐吓*Cause were incredibly easy to scare*有线电视台的新闻宣称我们完了*Cable news declares were doomed*脸书助长了我们的恐惧*And Facebook feeds our fright*摧毁民♥主♥*让我们相信过去的一切是那么美好*they convince us things were great*那时汽油廉价白人占主导*when gas was cheap and men were white*还是很歧视*这

32、样我们就还是聚集在骗尸*so we rally round the crooks*古怪和粗鲁的所谓意见领袖身边*and the creepy and the crass*他们的id都是要为消失的中产阶级复仇*The vengeful id of our vanishing middle class* 所以如你所见巴仔So, as you can see, Bart.巴仔Bart?游戏结束*我明白老兄放弃希望*1 get it, dude, abandon hope*我们防止不了滑坡的结局*we cant escape our slippery slope*未来是一块屎做的三明治*the fut

33、ures a sandwich made of poo*你有话直说希望我怎么做*Just tell me, what do you want me to do*烧了它Burn it.烧了它烧什么Burn it? Burn what?这取决于你自己Way ahead of you.咱们还在等啥呢So what the hell are we waiting for?赶快翻开网飞Lets dial up the Netflix.我这有海伦爱欢喜的账号♥密♥码♥Ive got Helen Lovejoys password.没有爱也不欢喜她和牧师决定冷静一段

34、时间之后She came to live with us when she and the reverend就搬来和我们一起住了were taking a break.她让我必须保密但是她想多了She swore me to secrecy about that, but whoops.坦纳尔顿春田镇这些女士们The springfield ladies had观赏了一部发生在英国a marvelous time journeying back to an era穿着胸衣秀色可餐的姑娘们when england was filled with eligible young ladies in

35、corsets 与身材火&h ea r ts;辣&h e a r ts;腹肌健硕的混血小伙courted by hot, multiracial dudes之间的爱情故事with rock-hard abs.这剧的编剧真是绝了The writing on this show is amazing.现在男人们都有胸肌了吗Oh-ho. Men can have muscles on their chests now?这啤酒播客的广&hearts浩♥也是啤酒The ad in the beer podcast is an ad for beer.真是绝了That is so smart

36、.我刚刚从欧洲游泳回来Ive just swum back from europe.我们刚刚赢得了三角裤之战Weve just won the battle of knicker-bulge.我们一起来脱衣庆祝吧Let us all doff our clothes in triumph.我的麻麻呀Ay, caramba!Well, thats up to you.我的知识面跟清洁工是一样的All I know is what a janitor knows.*如果它坏了不要拖延等待*If its broke, dont wait till later*直接把它扔进焚化炉*chuck it i

37、n the incinerato*我确实挺喜欢搞破坏的I do enjoy destroying things.这根领带看着就挺易燃And this tie looks flammable.等等巴仔我说的是这个系统Wait, Bart, I meant the system.推倒再重建Burn it down and then reform it.这是种隐喻It was a metaphor.隐喻是啥意思我也不是很懂I never learned what that word means.-我们的教育系统也很糟-不-Our education system is also terrible.

38、- No!*于是它就来了*And so it comes to pass*划一根火柴举杯相庆*Strike a match and raise a glass*梦想幻灭*A11 dreams die*再见吧中产阶级*So goodbye, middle class+老天爷Oh, my god.这是真实的吗Oh, so this is real?救命Help!我想活着目睹未来I want to live to see the future,就算它烂的离谱Even if its gonna be incredibly crappy!你救了我You saved me.*抓紧你不会有事*Hang on

39、 tight, youll be okay*谢谢对了你收入怎么样Thanks! By the way, how goods your pay?*收入不错 退休后养老金也挺给力*Pays good, and pensions great when we retire*不错*Nice*给力的健康计划和酷酷的帽子靴子*Sweet health plan plus cool hat and boots*我们已经在招新人了*Were always hiring new recruits*因为我们很幸运现在全球失火*Cause luckily the planet is on fire*海洋也不能幸免*E

40、ven the ocean*妈爸我想明白我要做什么了Mom, Dad, I figured out what Im gonna do.我要做消防员Im gonna be a fireman.这倒是火永远也不会熄灭Well, it is true that fire isnt going anywhere.*但你还是得尊重我*Butyou still hold me in high regard*吃我一记你这个死肥仔*Eat my shorts, you tub of lard*我们拯救生命看着很酷*We save lives and look badass*在最后一个中产阶级路过时*And w

41、e whistle as they pass*朝他们吹口哨*The last men standing In our middleClass*完结今天的是什么鬼What the hell was that?就我所理解的From what 1 can gather,一个唱歌♥的看门人带着巴仔踏上了魔幻之旅A singing janitor took Bart on a magical journey穿越过美国的战后经济Through Americas postwar economy.丽莎还扮演说唱的角色Also, Lisa was a rapper.我有点担忧巴仔把他的树屋点着了I

42、m a little concerned that Bart set his tree house on fire.确实感觉是恐怖行为升级It does seem like an escalation.说不定我们可以借机升级一下后院的装♥修♥Maybe vve can use this opportunity to upgrade the backyard. 没错可以搭个露台什么的Yeah. We could get a gazebo.听着感觉不错Thatd be nice.我刚看完关于户主的相关政策I just read through our homeowner

43、s policy.我们的树屋不包含在保险政策里Were not covered for musical numbers.巴仔不许看Bart, dont watch that.快去唾觉Now go to bed.快看六块腹肌镇的伯爵Mmm, looks like the earl of sixpackingham刚刚把裤子也脱了Is showing the whole walking stick.我得喝一杯压压惊Ooh, Ill drink to that.怎么了亲爱的Honey, whats wrong?我现在像我每天早上照镜子时候的样子You look like what I see in

44、the mirror every morning.还有床头柜上这个搅拌机是怎么回事Also, a strange blender is on your nightstand.柏妮丝希伯特的个人财产我应该是I think I drank just昨晚跟姑娘们a toonsie-teensy bit too much多喝了那么一点点酒with the girls last night.马姬你真该看看你现在的样子Marge, you need to take a long look at yourself.一个家里不能有两个醉鬼真的不行We cant be a two-hangover househ

45、old. We just cant. 很抱歉但是我今天Im sorry, sweetie, but I just dont think 应该是去不了教堂了I can go to church this morning.哎呀Oh, my- aw.不去教堂了太可惜了No church? Oh, no.看来我只好找别的方式Well, I guess Ill have to find another way来度过这无聊的周日了to spend my sunday.这胸口薯片真不错Mmm, chest chips.我的意思是你只能自己带孩子们I meant youll have to take the

46、kids to church-去教堂了 -哎呀-on your own. - Doh!太不公平了Aw, its not fair.我每次都是宿醉着去教堂的I always go to church hungover.每次都是真心爱酒的人遭罪Its always the committed drinkers who get punished.当酒鬼的连歇都没法歇Boozehounds just cant catch a break.春田镇第一教堂我们的邮箱被黑了别翻开邮件的附件*诚心诚意赞美上帝*Praise God from whom all praisings flow*忠心不二赞美上帝*Praise praise and let all praisings go*赞美赞美赞美上帝*Praise, praise, Praise, praise, praise, praise, praise, praise* 这种赞美诗You know, hymns like that是不是有些敷衍了make god come off a little thirsty.现在要邀请我们的小朋友Now Id like to invite our littlest ange