高三英语写作专项读后续写：逃学记 讲义.docx

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1、读后续写：逃学记我们先看材料和写作任务：When I was ten years old, I was a grade four primary school student in a small town. I had a happy time at school because I had a few good friends there. We usually spent our spare time together, doing our homework, going to the amusement park, playing with our pets, and sharing

2、our happiness and sorrows together. But everything changed when my parents decided to change their jobs and moved to a bigger city. I even had no time to say good-bye to my old friends and teachers.As I moved to the new city, I began my school life in a totally new school with new surroundings, new

3、teachers and new classmates. During the first week, I feltlonelywhen I was at school. My classmates knew each other, but they didnt know me, which added to mylonelinessandsadness. That week day after day, I was sitting on my seat, pretending to be reading. How I secretly wished that someone would co

4、me to me and introduce himself to me or even play a trick on me, butdisappointingly, nobody came.Then one day, when my parents sent me to the bus station and said good bye to me, I didnt get on the bus to school as usual. Instead, I walked and walked on the street, looking at the beautiful window di

5、splays and forgetting everything, with noworryabout the new school, new teachers and new classmates. Then my empty stomach stopped me and I used my pocket money to have a bowl of noodles in a small restaurant. It was noon at the time, but still I didnt want to go to school or go home. So I went to a

6、 park and sat on the bench, staring at the sky. And then I had a nap. When I woke up, I decided to go back to my hometown, where my former teachers and friends lived. So I went to the railway station. There I was stopped by a policeman, who asked for my ID card, which I didnt have at the time. Then

7、the policeman called someone and I was asked to stay with him. Paragraph 1:An hour later, I found my parentsrunningtowards me.Paragraph 2:The next day, when I was sent to school by my parents, I was afraid I wouldbe punished. 材料中这位逃学的“顽劣”孩童是谁呢？一个跟随父母匆匆来到大城市生活的四年级(10岁)孩子，在离开了家乡一切熟悉的人和物后，遭遇了无法自我解决的适应新

8、环境的问题。于是，某一天，他毅然逃学了，甚至在街上游荡了一天后想私自踏上返乡之途，这时候警察出现了。电影电视中这样的故事情节并不陌生，但要顺利地完成上述的写作内容，仍然需要我们从头开始，一步一步地通过读取信息、预测发展、续写故事和润色定稿等步骤来完成。01读取信息(Reading)寻找五大故事元素(five essential story elements)角色(The characters)以及可能的“人设”“ I ”(the protagonist)- a ten-year old / a grade four primary student / a migrant to a bigger

9、 city with parents / a new comer to a totally new school根据材料，可以找到一些描写“我”的词：lonely (loneliness), sadness, disappointingly, worry，但是“我”非常怀念家乡和家乡的小伙伴们，所以让我们再加上homesick一词。my parents-(inferred from the given sentence)migrants to a bigger city父母为了工作背井离乡，也属无奈。从材料中不难看出，父母对“我”在这个新环境中遭遇的一切似乎一无所知(unaware / not

10、 alert / unprepared)，每天正常送“我”上车站并挥手再见，直到有一天被警察传唤。但是从续写段落的提示句“I found my parents running towards me”，不难推测出父母当时的心情：anxious, worried, frightened,很正常的父母，不是吗？teachers and classmates in the new school材料中的新学校师生们似乎不太友好，“How I secretly wished that someone would come to me and introduce himself to me or even

11、play a trick on me, but disappointingly, nobody came”。续写第二段所给提示句“The next day, when I was sent to school by my parents, I was afraid I would be punished. ”，我们理解中的会惩罚逃学学生的严厉的老师形象好像呼之欲出哦。hometown friends - sources of fond memories背景(The setting)这个故事的背景不是难点，根据故事发展经过，我们可以找到以下这些：hometown-a new bigger cit

12、y -a new school -the new city streets and park -the police station(续写第一段) -the new school(续写第二段)当然，“我”的新家也可以考虑进去。情节（The plot）整个材料的已知情节非常清楚，我们不妨把几个事件定位到Story Mountain(故事山)图表上来:由图表可知，我们需要完成的写作任务恰恰是整个故事的resolution (解决)和ending (结尾)部分。冲突(The conflicts)冲突分为内部冲突(The internal conflicts)和外部冲突(The external co

13、nflicts)。内部冲突往往是主人公和自我的冲突(man vs. self)，外部冲突多见于“角色与角色”(man vs.man)、“角色与社会”(man vs. society)、“角色与自然”(man vs. nature)和“角色与科技”(manvs. technology)。这么看来，“我”和新环境下产生的孤独、悲伤的PK和“我”是否能逃过老师的惩罚便是这篇材料的两大冲突了。主题(The theme)读后续写的文章往往会有一个主题，这个主题可能是一个教训(a lesson)，也可能是一个寓意(a moral)，传递人间真善美的情感。文章分析到此，你觉得怎样的主题比较合适呢？不妨来选择

14、一下吧？Life can be hard. One needs to gather courage.A friend in need is a friend indeed.Time and tide wait for no man.You must strive to find your own voice.Seize the day and make your life extraordinary.Leave your past behind and embrace the present.02预测发展(Predicting)根据写作内容，我们需要完成两个任务：1)父母火急火燎地赶到警察局后

15、，对“我”这个角色遭遇的内部冲突能起什么作用？2)“我”担心的因逃学会被罚的结果最终发生了没有？我们可以试着先从第二个任务入手。如果“我”最终依然被罚，那么这篇材料的结尾和主题可谓毫无亮点。所以，不妨大胆地预测-“我”没有被罚，反而收获许多友谊。那老师为什么不惩罚我呢？是老师早已察觉我的孤独悲伤，还是有人在背后做了什么？如果老师早已察觉，我想他不会一直等到“我”逃学后才出手干预吧？（这个老师有点冷。）因此，不妨预测有人在背后做了什么。那是谁呢？新同学？老同学？父母？还是另有其人？读后续写有一个大忌：不要随意添加角色。既然父母很着急地赶到了警察局，“我”把真相告知父母，父母想方设法干预，这便非常

16、符合情理。这样，两个段落的续写内容大致有了方向，我们把要点罗列一下：Paragraph 1:I told my parentsmy problem in the police station / on the way home / at home.My parents comforted / encouraged / helped me.Paragraph 2:I was not punished by the teacher as assumed.I made friends with my new classmates.03续写故事(Writing)有了大概的故事走向，我们就要把它落实在文

17、字表达上了。续写过程中需要特别跟大家提及的一个技巧是“镜头”语言的运用。续写故事的过程就像我们扛着一架摄像机，游走在片场，自如地在不同场景和主配角演员之间不停地进行切换。对于目标观众而言，镜头不能频繁切换，镜头下整个故事链和逻辑链必须清晰。而对于作为摄像师的我们，如何巧妙地运用镜头，更好地讲好故事，便是见仁见智了。笼统地说，读后续写的“镜头”语言包括叙述和描写，相当于长镜头(long shots)和特写镜头(close-ups)。长镜头有利于故事完整性的交代，特写镜头则通过刻画人物的表情、动作、语言等细节，让人物形象更为丰满生动，从而更好地为写作目的服务，也更能反映出作者的语言功底和表达能力。

18、所以，这篇续写材料，哪些需要长镜头，哪些需要特写镜头，我们的确需要仔细斟酌一下。04润色定稿(Polishing)初稿完成，革命任务只是完成了三分之二。最后的三分之一需要我们对文稿进行默读和修改。详略得当的谋篇布局、语句之间的行文逻辑、遣词造句的准确地道、以及最后主题的水到渠成，这些都可以成为我们再次落笔的理由。润色定稿，好似影音作品的最后剪辑，再细碎复杂的片段，经过神剪刀的操作，都能创造出奇迹。成品展示范文好了，啰嗦够久了，让我们看看成品吧。先上参考范文。 An hour later, I found my parents running towards me.Theylooked worr

19、ied and exhausted. “Where have you been all day?” asked my fatherangrily.Ifelt injured, tears in my eyes. “Theres nobody I can talk to in this city.” I murmured. My motherhuggedme,kissing my cheeks, and said “I am sorry, my dear. Its our fault not to have noticed this and giventimely help.But next t

20、imeyou meet any problems,turn tous first.”Hearing this, I felt betterand promised to behave well in school.The next day, when I was sent to school by my parents, I was afraid that I would be punished.However,the teacher told the whole class I was allowed a one-day tour around the city the day before

21、 and asked me to sharewhat Id seen.Surprised, I was glad to talk about those window displays and beautiful scenes in the park. When I finished, the applauseshookthe classroom. I made friends withquite a fewclassmates that day,which made me really happy.I learned from my teacher laterthat it was my d

22、adwhoasked her to do that.The white lie started a new life for me.简单点评：一个善意的谎言挽救了受挫的孩子，父爱之深，跃然纸上。我收到了许多学生的文章，各种思路、各种表达、各种情感。但是批改过程中，我发现绝大多数学生的情节上有一个共同的bug，那就是-老师为什么没有因为逃学而惩罚我？如果能把这一细节加上，整个故事的逻辑就完整了。当然，怎么加？是不是按照时间顺序展开，还是一笔带过，抑或是别的写法，那就各位同学各显神通了。从学生的作文中挑出几篇，和大家分享一下。学生作文1 An hour later, I found my pare

23、nts running towards me.Mother embraced me with relief, almost crying. They told me when they finally received the call from the police after a five-hour wait, they drove here like crazy. “I know both trying to accept and trying to be accepted in the new environment are hard,” knowing my trouble, mot

24、her said gently, “but you are a brave boy. You WILL get over it, I promise.” Doubtful as I was, I nodded at last. That night I saw mother on the phone for a long time. The next day, when I was sent to school by my parents, I was afraid I would be punished.When I entered, the teacher greeted me warml

25、y and I sat down nervously. The punishment I had assumed didnt come. During the break, two boys came over unexpectedly and asked me if I could join their soccer team. I accepted and before long I had the feeling of being in a group again. People say “Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is future. Today i

26、s a gift. Thats why it is called the present.” Maybe I should leave my past behind and embrace my present.简单点评：今天是最好的礼物。学生作文2 An hour later, I found my parents running towards me.After thanking the police, they brought me home. “Why didnt you go to school? We were so worried!” Dad asked. Tears welli

27、ng up in my eyes, I stammered out the reason, not daring to look at them square in the eye. Without scolding me, Mom wiped my tears off and said to me gently, “Honey, instead of just waiting, why not offer to join them?” I nodded and promised never to behave like today again. The next day, when I wa

28、s sent to school by my parents, I was afraid I would be punished.But the teacher seemed to have known it.She said to mebefore class, “It does take time to integrate into a new group, but isolating yourself from others cant help.” Later in class, she praised my composition assigned earlier. After cla

29、ss, some curious classmates gathered around to ask about my composition. Feeling pleasantly surprised, I shared with them my ideas for writing, whom soon became my good friends. Mom and the teacher were right. Instead of hopelessly withdrawing into myself, I should summon up my courage and offer to

30、adjust myself to the new surroundings.简单点评：我要做生活的主宰。学生作文3An hour later, I found my parents running towards me.Mombeat Dad to my side, out of breath. “Where have you been? We are all worried.” Dad was silent, knitting his brows. I felt my cheeks flush and uttered, “I just think it meaningless to go t

31、o school. I feel lonely in this new school.” Mom sighed slightly and continued, “I know, dear. Mom and Dad are always here rooting for you. Just be brave and take your first step. Leave the rest to time.”The next day, when I was sent to school by my parents, I was afraid I would be punished.I walked

32、 slowly to the classroom, a battle raging inside me. To my surprise, my classmates didnt whisper upon my appearance. Instead, they were all wearing friendly smiles. Greatly encouraged, I made a true, heartfelt apology in front of the class and told them the reason for my truancy. At lunchtime, a few

33、 classmates invited me to join them. That day at school, I felt happy and powerful. Despite the temporary setbacks, its not all doom and gloom. Showing everyone who you really are does matter a lot. It can fix just everything and work wonders.简单点评：没有老师的原谅，把改变的主动权抓在自己的手里，同学的善意让“我”勇敢地迈出改变的第一步。情节设计另辟蹊径，挺好。学科网（北京）股份有限公司