david deangelodating tipshow to flirt and why.doc

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1、DATING TIP: How To Flirt And Why I want to talk about the concept of flirting, and whyits SO important that you understand exactly what it is andhow to do it with women. To begin with, women know what flirting is, and theyrespond VERY differently to flirting communication than theydo to typical soci

2、al communication. If you understand flirting and sexual tension, you canbegin conversations with women and have them INSTANTLYfeeling ATTRACTION for you. If you DONT understand how flirting and sexual tensionwork, then youre either going to have to become famous ormake a LOT of money to be successfu

3、l with women. Im going to suggest that you learn how to flirt well,then do it RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING in your interactions withwomen to SET THE RIGHT TONE. Think of flirting like playing. Remember when you were a kid and you used to play fightwith your friends? Whats the difference between play wre

4、stling and realwrestling? And how do you know the difference when its happening.when your friend runs up and pushes you down, then jumps onyou and tries to pin you? The answer is YOU JUST KNOW. Its obvious to humans (andother animals, by the way) when someone is playing and whentheyre serious. Flirt

5、ing is similar. If you start talking to a woman and say Hi, youre verypretty. You probably have a boyfriend, right? in a normaltone of voice, youre NOT flirting. On the other hand, if you say Hi, I realize that youreprobably shy because you get no attention from men. so Ithought Id come over here an

6、d pay attention to you. itsOBVIOUS that youre not being serious. This is flirting. By the way, flirting IS NOT simply telling jokes, ortrying to be cute. One of the concepts that I teach is called Cocky & Funny. Cocky & Funny is simply a powerful, concentrated way offlirting and creating sexual tens

7、ion with a specific kind ofhumor. Its so funny to me how some guys write in because theycant see themselves being Cocky & Funny around womenbecause they dont want to come across as jerks. This really cracks me up. because its obvious to methat these guys JUST DONT GET IT. So let me explain this whol

8、e thing a different way. If you know how to communicate the right way, women willrespond to you RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING with a HIGH LEVELof sexual interest and ATTRACTION. When you know how to incorporate flirting in a Cocky &Funny way, which is really a form of adult verbal play,you tune in to a c

9、ertain frequency in a womans mind, andcause her to go into a very special kind of emotional state. One of the keys to effective flirting is to get it. Inother words, you have to actually get out there and practiceso you get a feel for how it works. I think a lot of guys give up when they try a cute

10、lineor technique and a woman responds by saying Youre a loser.Instead of just realizing that they need more practice orthat the woman might have just been in a bad mood or evenone of those horrible I dont have a sense of humor cases,they take it personally and decide to just have it mean thattheyre

11、a failure. But take my word for it. once you learn how to flirteffectively and communicate in the language of adult playyou WILL SIMPLY NOT BELIEVE how women will respond to you. Heres an example of some of one of my favorite topics toriff on when flirting. the topic of getting married andus being i

12、n a relationship. and Ill give it to you in theform of a sample dialogue. Keep in mind, I might have aconversation like this one with a woman that I just met fiveminutes earlier.Her: I have a good job, and I make good moneyMe: Nice. I like that in a woman. Want to get married? Wecould leave for Vega

13、s right now and be married in about 4or 5 hours. I need a woman with money.Her: OK, that sounds like a planMe: But wait a minute. do you think you can support theboth of us on your income? I really want to be a stay athome husband. you know, keep an eye on the TV and such.Her: Oh, no. I wont support

14、 you.Me: Well, then Im breaking up with you. Its over betweenus. I was going to marry you, then divorce you a week laterand take half your money.Her: You cant break up with me! Im not evenyour girlfriend.Me: Thats all the more reason. .do you get whats going on here? Im taking a normal conversation

15、topic (her job and income)and redirecting the conversation in a flirtatious, Cocky &Funny way to create a fun mood and sexual tension (bysuggesting marriage, divorce, and breaking up over her notsupporting me, etc.). If the above example doesnt make any sense to you, thentake that as a sign that you

16、 need to get out and practicemore. Try it on a waitress or two. When you ask for something and she says Im sorry, wedont have that, just say OK, this relationship isntworking out. Im going to have to break up with you. In fact, you can say this in just about ANY situationwith ANY woman where shes sa

17、ying something that you dontlike, and its funny. When you communicate like this, youre FLIRTING, youreTEASING, and youre initiating a DIFFERENT KIND OFCOMMUNICATION than most men initiate. And as soon as the woman youre talking to engages youin this kind of dialogue, THE GAME IS ON. There are a LOT

18、of ways you can flirt, and a lot of waysyou can be Cocky & Funny that DONT REQUIRE WORDS. If a woman looks at you and raises one eyebrow, look backat her and do the same. only exaggerate it. If a woman puts her hand on your arm, look down at it,then look up at her in a surprised way, then raise your

19、eyebrows as if you just had a major ah ha! realization.then start smiling and nodding your head as if you justrealized that she wants you. This is a powerful combinationbecause its funny, and it exaggerates the meaning in hertouching you. There are a MILLION ways to flirt like this, but the pointtha

20、t Im trying to make is that you NEED TO START DOING ITRIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING OF YOUR INTERACTIONS WITH WOMEN. It will set off all of your conversations with women onthe right foot, and start a dialogue that creates sexualtension and ATTRACTION. If you DONT learn how to communicate with women like

21、thisyoull have BORING, NORMAL conversations that NEVER leadto sexual tension and ATTRACTION. Remember, women can tell INSTANTLY whether youre flirtingwith them or not. If you are, and youre doing it in a subtle,charming way, youll get amazing responses. One of the keys to flirting and creating ATTRA

22、CTIONeffectively is projecting confidence and indifference bothin your voice tone and body language as you do it. And in order to project these things you need to have theright understanding and BELIEFS about how male/femaleATTRACTION works. and then be able to project them throughyour conversation

23、to women. In my new CD audio series, I explain the most importantbeliefs to project, and exactly how to project them so thewoman youre talking to senses INSTANTLY and at anUNCONSCIOUS level that you know how to communicate on manylevels with her. all through body language, voice tone,and words.DATIN

24、G TIP: What if Im Not Her Type?*THIS WEEKS QUESTION*Dear Dave,I was very skeptical of your approach, but I have been tryingC & F routine recently and it has been working like a charm.Your CD is incredible with information that builds on yourbook. An example of C & F happened recently. Women alwaysma

25、ke comments of my age and how I appear much younger than myage (im in my mid-thirties but appear to be 24-25). Beforereading your book and listening to your CD, I would simplylaugh or say thank you if a woman said I looked a lot youngerthan my age. Recently I was out with my friends and this good-lo

26、oking woman said the same comment. My response wascome on, Im not going to fall for a line that. You womenjust want me for my youthful looks. Then I continued bustingon her and left with her e-mail. My friends were all shockedby my exchange with her and my success. I have a question though Dave. Wha

27、t if a woman, in theconversation with you, states she does not like a certain typeof guy; for example she says she likes tall guys but onehappens to be short. Can you give be a couple of examples ofturning a perceived deficit (height, lack of hair, etc) intoCocky and funny responses?Thanks a million

28、,Disciple in Training in D.C.MY COMMENTS: First of all, I really enjoy the way youve turned theissue of looking younger around and framed it as a womanspathetic attempt to pick you up and use you. This is CLASSIC Cocky & Funny, and it does all the rightthings. it creates sexual tension, humor, and a

29、 challengeall at the same time. Very nice. But the part of your email that I really like is theQUESTION youve asked. Youre asked:What if a woman, in the conversation with you, states shedoes not like a certain type of guy; for example she saysshe likes tall guys but one happens to be short. Can youg

30、ive be a couple of examples of turning a perceiveddeficit (height, lack of hair, etc) into Cocky and Funnyresponses? Heres something that you must remember:IF YOU BEHAVE AS IF WHAT A WOMAN THINKS OF YOU IS IMPORTANT,THEN YOULL BE VERY LIKELY TO DO SOMETHING TO MAKE HER NOTBE ATTRACTED TO YOU. Rememb

31、er, ATTRACTION isnt a logical process. It reallydoesnt make very much sense (until you understand how itworks, that is). Just because a woman SAYS that she doesnt like acertain type of guy doesnt mean that she cant feel aPOWERFUL ATTRACTION for a guy of this type. Are you with me here? ATTRACTION is

32、 an emotion. A type is a PREFERENCE. They are TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS. Heres a good example: Women are universally moreinterested in taller men. If you ask a woman what typeof height ISNT her type, shell say something likeshort guys or guys who are shorter than me etc. I have NEVER met a woman

33、in my entire life who saidI like shorter guys. Never. But guess what? I have at least 4 or 5 friends who are in the 52to 56 range that are UNBELIEVABLE with women. TheyALL date beautiful women who are taller than them. So whats going on here? ATTRACTION is whats going on. So when you ask me how to u

34、se a Cocky & Funny line toturn a perceived deficit around, the FIRST thing I haveto say is Stop thinking of it as a deficit. First you need to stop caring what a woman thinks of youALLTOGETHER. Completely. If you care what she thinks of you, then youre probablygoing to start acting like a total WUSS

35、, and youre going toscrew things up anyway. Women arent ATTRACTED to men who look to them forapproval. Women are ATTRACTED to men who are strong,independent, and not affected by the opinions of others(this is a generalization, but its basically true). So based on this new perspective, here are a few

36、 waysthat you could handle a situation like this one.1) NOT CARE AT ALL One of the things you could do is just address thecomment at all. as if it didnt even exist. A mistake many people make is thinking that they MUSTtake every communication that another person takes seriouslyand then RESPOND to it

37、. Not so. You dont have to do ANYTHING if you dont want to. So if a woman says I like tall guys you can just actas if it had never been said, and continue with yourconversation, getting her email/number, or whatever. By the way, this concept can be EXTREMLY useful inother situations as well. For ins

38、tance, if a woman startsgetting upset about something and being overly dramatic,one great thing to do is NOTHING AT ALL. Just sit thereand dont respond at all. Then, when it settles down alittle, just continue your conversation as if nothinghad happened (Oh, and stop hanging out with dramatic,overly

39、-emotional women too, you dork!).2) BRING IT UP BEFORE HER In this case, youre talking about height. One way todeal with this is to bring it up before she does. As soon as you start talking say Well, youre tallerthan me. Im over it, are you yet? This says a few things. It says that you know whatsgoi

40、ng on. it says youre confident. and it shows thatyoure not afraid to deal with it. It also addresses the issue in such a way that youllknow where she stands on it. If she just CANT get past it, shell tell you. 3) MAKE IT HER PROBLEM Heres a place to use Cocky & Funny. You might say Wow, youre kind o

41、f a freak. I thinksomething like 1% of women are as tall as you. It must sucktrying to find nice pants, huh? You have to wear all thoseweird pants made for freaks and stuff. Or if shes talking about a trait that shes attractedto, point out the negative sides of that trait in a Cocky &Funny way. Mayb

42、e she says I like men who know how to treat a ladyspecial, take her nice places, and who pay for everythingto show that theyre a gentleman. You might say Oh, so what youre telling me is thatyou like men who basically pay for your attention withmoney and gifts. how romantic.The one thing that youll f

43、ind at the bottom of allthe ideas that Ive just presented is FIRST OF ALL, NOTCARING WHAT SHE THINKS OF YOU. I know that its a paradox. you obviously want her tolike you, but you have to not care what she thinks of you. Well, get over it. Women arent attracted to men who are APPROVAL SEEKERS. And if

44、 a woman throws out a comment like I like tallguys, you must first learn to NOT CARE, and not let itimpact you emotionally. Then youll be free to redirect the conversation anddecide if shes the kind of woman that YOU would like togo out with. By the way, when you are interacting with a woman, oneof

45、the MOST IMPORTANT FACTORS that will determine whether ornot she will feel ATTRACTION for you is YOUR BELIEFS AND HOWYOU COMMUNICATE THEM. And you are constantly communicating your beliefs withyour body language, voice tone, words, topics, questions,and everything else you do.THE MAILBAG: Creating ACCIDENTAL ATTRACTION*COMMENT FROM A WOMAN*Hey David.Im a woman that signed up for your emails out of curiosity. I think what youre telling men is right on. Ive dated a lot of guys, and I feel a lo