读后续写练习写作讲评讲义-高考英语写作备考.docx

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1、读后续写练习写作讲评 试题回顾阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。注意：1.续写词数应为150左右;2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。A couple of days ago, there were many people on the bus.Halfway down the road, the driver suddenlystopped the bus by the side of the roadand said, “Im going to have dinner first. Imhungry.”Thenhe began toeat fri

2、ed rice noodleswhiletalking on the phone. After awhile,manypassengers urged(催促)the driverto go ahead,butthe driverrepliedrudely,“Cant you see Im enjoying my noodles? Im so hungry.”After a few minutes someonewantedto get offthe bus,butwas refused by the driver. He explained that nobody could get off

3、because it was NOT a bus stop! Standing beside thedriver, Iwatched himhavethe lastofthenoodles, thinkingthat we could finally start now.However,thedrivertookout another bag of soup!Ibegan to feela littleangry becauseIwould belate foran importantmeeting.SoI urgedthedriverto hurry up.However, thedrive

4、rsuggested politely that I should ask for a leave.When the soup was about tobe finished, thedriverpicked up the phone again, looking in the rear-view mirror（后视镜）from time to time as ifhe werewaiting for someone. At this timeall thepassengerson the bus begantoshout, “We have waited too long. Start ri

5、ght now!”Suddenly, a police carstoppedin front of ourbus.We all thought that the policemen could help us and we could go at once.To our surprise, the two policemen got on our buswith handcuffs（手铐）._Watching the thieveshaving beencaughtby the policemen, all the passengerssmiled with delight. _学生考场习作呈

6、现作文评析（一）作文亮点1.故事融洽度饱满续写中的人物、地点、事件与前文相符。第一段以警察出现的目的、乘客和小偷的反应为主线，既有情感态度的描写，如：nervous;frightened,又有行为动作的描写，如：stand up，point at，run away，check等，这样的衔接合情合理，故事跌宕起伏，画面感强。第二段围绕乘客、作者和司机的反馈开展的，语义通畅，行文连贯。2.句类分布均衡从续写中可以看出，该生具有很强的语言运用能力，既应用了较多的语法结构和短语搭配，且句式富于变化，有非谓语作状语，有强调句，有名词性从句，有定语从句。如：非谓语作状语Nervous and fright

7、ened，all the passengers on the bus began to talk to each other and asked two policemen what had happened. Hearing this，most passengers began to check their bags.强调句It was that moment the driver stand up and pointed at two men who were at the back of the bus.定语从句We were all regretted(注：不用被动语态)to say

8、some rude words to the kind driverwhohelpedusfind the dangerous situation.3.结尾妙笔生花升华主题故事的结尾用了一个强调句来展示这个司机的行为教会作者一个人生哲理：荆棘路上，人人难免遇危机，切莫慌乱，沉着应对是关键。这一哲理符合我们的生活实际，具有教育意义。（二）意见和建议1.语法可更加准确1）It was that moment the driver stand up and pointed at two men.可改为It was at that moment that the driver stood up and

9、 pointed at two men.2）Thirty minutes before改为thirty minutes ago3）We were allregrettedto say some rude words to the kind driver.可改为We allregrettedsaying some rude words to the kind driver.2.词汇可更加精准1）Immediately，the two men expected to run away by kicking the window.可改为Immediately，the two men intended

10、 to run away by breaking the window.2）The driver didnt say anything but smiled a little smile.可改为The driver didnt say anything but gave an understanding smile.3.句型可更加精练Only can let us better is to be calm, wise and friendly.可改为Only when we embrace life with a calm, wise friendly heart can we be better and better.学科网（北京）股份有限公司