读后续写：亲情类--家庭纽带 讲义-高三英语二轮复习写作专项.docx

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1、阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。I feared going into my room after school. Every day it was something different. The hours away at school were long enough to cause a terrible change to my private room. Today can be nodifferent.As I entered the house, Mom greeted me witha smile. It seemed like no

2、thing was wrong.Still,I wouldnt believe. Yesterday, I discovered a chocolate cookie spread around the mouth of my angel statue. Its pink lips were covered in chocolate. Obviously,Callie had shared her cookie with my angel.I looked around for my little sister, Callie, who had just turned three. Ididn

3、t see her. As I checked the sitting room, I noticed it was pretty messy. There were toys all around. There were a few headless dolls, some blocks, and the remains of a grape stuck into the carpet. I searched around and there she was, sitting on the sofa with the TV remote in her sticky hands. She lo

4、oked up and saw me. A huge smile broke out on her face, and she laughed, clapping her hands. I was surprised that they didnt stick together.“Sissy(sister)!”She jumped off the sofa and ran to me, squeezing my knees and almost tipping me over. “Hi, Callie,” I said, with the slightest smile. I ruffled

5、(抚弄)her long thick hair, and some white crumbs (残渣)fell to the carpet. “Cheese, sissy”, Callie said, pointing at the crumbs that had settled onto the carpet. I found a strong smell of cheese from them. Had Callie focused on destroyingonly the sitting room? A voice raced across my mind.No way. I turn

6、ed around and started the scared climb to my room.注意：(1)续写词数应为150左右；(2)开头已给出。I pushed the door open and saw a complete mess again!Seeing the tears in her eyes, I bent down and lifted her up gently.Claude+生成：I pushed the door open and saw a complete mess again!My bedsheets were thrown onto the floor,

7、 with crumbs and toys scattered all over them. The drawers of my desk were pulled out, and papers were ripped into pieces like snowflakes, floating in the air and covering the carpet. Callie! I shouted angrily. Fear and annoyance filled my heart. My little sister stood in the center of the chaos, he

8、r tiny face turning red as tears welled up in her eyes.Seeing the tears in her eyes, I bent down and lifted her up gently.My anger faded away in an instant. I couldnt stay mad at this little girl. She was just a curious toddler exploring the world with her little hands. I hugged her tightly, feeling

9、 her rapid heartbeat against my chest. Its okay, Callie. Im not angry anymore. I said softly. She wrapped her short arms around my neck, sobbing quietly. My room could be cleaned up again, but my sisters glowing smile was irreplaceable. Moments like this reminded me of theunconditional lovebetween s

10、iblings that would last forever.GPT-4生成：I pushed the door open and saw a complete mess again!My heart sank as I took in the chaos that was once my sanctuary. Clothes were strewn across the floor, books toppled from their shelves, and my favorite stuffed animals were scattered haphazardly. The sight

11、of my disheveled room evoked a mixture of frustration and sadness, but amidst the disarray, I caught a glimpse of Callies innocent eyes peering from behind a pile of toys. She had been trying to create a surprise for me, but her little hands had unintentionally wreaked havoc instead.Seeing the tears

12、 in her eyes, I bent down and lifted her up gently.I could feel her tiny heartbeat against my chest, and I knew that she had only wanted to make me happy. As I held her close, I realized that the love and joy she brought into my life were far more valuable than any material possessions. Together, we

13、 would clean up the mess and create new memories in the process. My heart swelled with affection for my little sister, and I whispered softly into her ear, Its okay, Callie. Well fix this together. A sense of warmth and love enveloped us, and I knew that every day with her would be a cherished gift.

14、官方范文：I pushed the door open and saw a complete mess again!Covering the floor was more of the same substance that I had just seen in Callies hair! It was everywhereon my bed, on the floor, and on my bookshelves and desk! Callie had poured cheese all over my room! And the room was filled with the disg

15、usting smell.“She did it again!”I screamed, my face being red and hot with rage. No sooner had more angry words burst out than I found Callie at the door. Cautiously she came to me, hugged my knees tightly, and murmured with tears streaming downlike raindrops.Seeing the tears in her eyes, I bent dow

16、n and lifted her up gently.She threw her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear, “Sissy, the cheese is very sweet! I want to share it with you.”Her words really melted my heart although my neck felt rather sticky. I sighed deeply. After all, she was only three and experimenting with the world.

17、It was nice to feel so loved by someone younger than me. She looks up to me, her big sister. I guess thats why shealways chooses my room to explore and destroy.1. 本文属于”亲情”类话题。我们在复习话题还是侧重于社会关爱、友谊和亲情中。以情感类话题复习为主，最好侧重于学生的生活实际，反应积极向上的社会主体即可。另外，个人的自我品德和修养提升也是复习的重点，这些都是和学生的生活息息相关。2. 把握短文关键信息和语言特点的能力，重视开头语

18、的提示作用。段落开头语的前后和上下衔接也很重要，考生需要注意整篇的篇章结构来续写构思，理顺上下文逻辑关系，短文内语句要连贯、有序。3. 读后续写不是自由创作，续写内容会被四个信息点锁死。这四个信息点分别是：- 阅读材料中已有的情节- 第一段首句- 第二段首句- 阅读完毕后我们设置的结局根据以上内容，我们可以确定读后续写的一般步骤为：1. 第一遍泛读，先根据阅读材料的基本情节确定续写的立意和结局。通过泛读确定本篇续写的基本要素，即故事中的主要人物，背景，以及确定故事的主要矛盾（冲突）：”我“最初发现混乱房间时的沮丧和悲伤，以及后来理解Callie的无辜意图。可以确定文章的基本要素为：main c

19、haracters：- “我”：发现混乱房间并安慰Callie的主人公。- Callie：我的小妹妹，在试图制造惊喜时无意中造成了混乱。Setting ：故事发生在叙述者的房间里，房间处于一片混乱状态。Theme：故事的主题围绕着爱、家庭纽带。Main conflict：主要冲突源于”我“最初发现混乱房间时的沮丧和悲伤，以及后来理解Callie的无辜意图。Perspective：故事以叙述者的第一人称视角讲述，使读者能够直接体验他们的情感和思想。tone：故事的基调是温馨和反思的，因为叙述者逐渐欣赏到Callie给他们的生活带来的爱和喜悦，尽管最初的混乱引起了沮丧。2. 第二遍精读，确定文章的

20、故事山结构，进一步梳理情节：1 Exposition (介绍): The narrator finds their room in disarray.2. Rising Action（发展）: The narrator feels frustrated and sad, then discovers Callie, who unintentionally caused the mess.3. Climax（高潮）: The narrator realizes Callies attempt to create a surprise led to the chaos.4. Resolution

21、(解决）: ？5. Ending (结尾）:？3.Resolution 和Ending部分需要考生确定。此时一定要注意情节的构造要能够解决前文出现的矛盾（冲突）。可以确定：Resolution (解决）为：The narrator comforts Callie and reflects on the importance of love and joy over material possessions.4.根据第一段首句，和第二段首句定第一段的内容。其中第一段（P1)的内容可以分为两个部分。P1上半区（包含第一段首句）的写作目的就是将阅读材料承接到P1，因此剧情填充就需要以此为标准进行考量

22、。以本文为例，题目给出的第一段首句是：I pushed the door open and saw a complete mess again! 既然该句出现了complete mess，就应该具体描述“complete mess”的内容，从而与首句衔接。而P1下半区的写作目的是思考如何将上述内容衔接到第二段首句上去。因此，在构思P1下半段情节之前，考生需要精准解读第二段首句所传递的信息点。在本文中P 1下半区，则应联系第二段首句Seeing the tears in her eyes, I bent down and lifted her up gently.既然我的妹妹流泪了，自然是我非常

23、生气。故而P1下半区要以我的情绪描写为主，这就要求学生在平时要有“生气/愤怒”词汇及句型的积累。第二段首句为：Seeing the tears in her eyes, I bent down and lifted her up gently.这已经是很明显的提示句子，再加上续写的结尾一定是正能量的。对于“亲情类”话题续写来说，基本会满足：冲突构造（误会、犯错等）-冲突化解（解释、道歉、弥补、回忆等-亲情升华（诚实、珍惜等）这样的故事结构。因此，很容易确定结尾大致为The narrator and Callie decide to clean up together, cherishing t

24、heir bond and looking forward to creating a new memory.本文完整的故事山结构如下：最后，分享亲情类作文的一些经典句子：素材积累-亲情类故事构造“三板斧”：第一板斧：冲突构造（误会、犯错等）只有冲突才能体会亲情的弥足珍贵。冲突原因大致有：疏于陪伴、理念不合（代沟）、误会等。1、生气1. 我妈妈瞪着我，这是她在我有继子家庭之前从未做过的事。“你可以捡起来的。”她说。“那才对。”（本可以，虚拟语气）My mother glanced at me. Something she never did before I had a stepfamily.

25、 “You could have picked it up,” she said. “That would have been the kind thing to do.”2. 他生气地握紧拳头，但是弟弟却激动地挥着手。He folded his fist angrily, but his younger brother waved his hands excitedly.3. Jackson试着说什么，但Carter太生气了，他一个字也听不进去。（对比，夸张）Jackson kept saying something, but so angry was Carter that he coul

26、dnt even hear a word. 2、后悔我意识到我裙子上的蝴蝶结打得很不好。我本应该请妈妈帮忙的。I realized how poorly I tied the string on my skirt which was over leggings. I should have asked Mom for help.3.内疚1. 一想到我对他所做的一切，遗憾和内疚就像没休止的潮水一样向我袭来。Thinking about what I had done to him, regret and guilt overwhelmed me like endless tides.2. 每当我

27、想到亨利湿了的书，我的脸都会变红了。Whenever I thought of Henrys wet book, my face turned red.4、烦恼看着雪莉的微笑渐渐消失，彼得皱起了眉头。Watching Shirleys smile fading away, Peter frowned.5、伤心当她望过她三岁妹妹的桌子时， Amanda感觉她的心情像天空一样灰暗。（比喻）Amanda felt as gray as the sky outside when she looked across the table at her three-year-old sister.6、犯错1

28、. 为了掩饰自己的可怕行为，吓坏了的男孩急忙把碎片粘起来，然后把花瓶放回原处。To cover his terrible action（为了掩盖他糟糕的行为，不定式作状语）, the terrified boy glued the pieces together hastily and put the vase back to its place.2. 害怕受到惩罚, 这个突然受到启发的男孩说，邻居家的猫从窗户跳了进来，无论他怎么努力都无法把它赶走。Fearing punishment（害怕惩罚，现在分词作状语）, the suddenly inspired boy said that a n

29、eighbors cat jumped in from the window and he couldnt drive it away no matter how hard he tried.3. 犹豫地瞥了一眼巧克力，男孩在母亲面前羞怯地抬起头来。Glancing at the chocolates with hesitation,(犹豫地看着着巧克力,非谓语), the boy timidly raised his head before his mother.第二板斧：冲突化解（解释、道歉、弥补、回忆等）1. 道歉1.“对不起，”他说到，轻轻的摸摸Jackson的头。“Im so sor

30、ry.”he said, gently petting Jacksons head.2. 他放下手，小心翼翼的看了Carter 一眼，然后低下了头。（动作链）He put down his hand, glanced cautiously at Carter and lowered his head.3. 令她惊讶的是，她对我微笑，并对我忽视了我的孤独和英语交流的困难表示道歉。To her surprise, she smiled at me and expressed her apology for ignoring my loneliness （为她忽略我的孤独道歉）as well as

31、my difficulty with English communication.2. 原谅1. 他妈妈把手指放在他嘴唇让他停止说话，在他额头上吻了一下，然后走出了书房。（动作链）His mother silenced him by gently putting her finger on his lips， gave a soft kiss on his forehead and walked out of the study.3. 开心1. “我想给你一个惊喜！”他指向一个包装精美的盒子，眼里闪烁着光芒。（with结构）“I wanted to surprise you!” he poin

32、ted at a neatly wrapped box with his eyes gleaming.2. 看到他的家人围坐着，和谐地待在一起，卡特感觉到一种幸福感。（doing非谓语）Seeing his families sitting together and staying together harmoniously, Cater felt a surge of happiness.3. 欢快的歌唱飘荡在房间里，两姐妹沉浸在音乐的美中。（独立主格）Cheerful singing floating in the room, the two sisters immersed themse

33、lves in the beauty of the music. 4. 感激1. 如果没有亨利的帮助，我就不会顺利地完成我的演出了。But for Henrys help, I wouldnt have finished my performance smoothly.2. I looked at her, tears of love and gratitude welling(well) up in my eyes.(独立主格结构)3. 之后，轮到我做了一个小演讲，在演讲中我向我的妈妈和朋友们表达了我真诚的感谢，向他们鞠了几个躬。Afterwards, it was my turn to g

34、ive a small lecture,in which I expressed my sincere gratitude to my mom and friends, bowing(bow) to them several times. （定语从句，非谓语）5. 回忆1. 在这时，毫无预料地， Carter突然想起Billy躺在地上哭的回忆，一直在他脑海回旋，提醒着他一些事情。（无灵主语句；doing非谓语；and连接两个同时进行的动作）At that moment, unexpectedly, the memory of the sight of Billy crying on the g

35、round occurred to Carter, hovering in his mind and reminding him something.2. 看着Jackson，Carter忍不住想象他的弟弟花整天小心涂好那辆车的情景。Looking at Jackson, Carter couldnt help imagining his little brother spending the whole day carefully painting the car.3. “我只是希望我知道如何帮助她，”阿曼达想着李惊恐的眼睛，自言自语道“I just wish I knew how to h

36、elp her,” Amanda said to herself, thinking ofLis frightened eyes（想到Li害怕的双眼）.第三板斧：亲情升华（诚实、珍惜等）1. 从那时起，每当他想撒谎时，这三块巧克力就会在他心中敲响警钟，提醒他要诚实。From then on, the three chocolates rang the alarm in his heart every time he intended to lie, reminding him to be honest提醒他要诚实(非谓语).2. 我坚定地点了点头，知道一朵仁慈和友谊之花开始在我们两个人的心里绽

37、放。I nodded firmly, knowing a flower of kindness and friendship began to blossom（善良和友谊之花开放） in both of our hearts.3.这次经历改变了我对亨利的态度，从那时起我们的关系变得很融洽、和谐 。This experience transformed my attitude towards Henry and our relationship has also been harmonious（我们的关系变得和谐） since then.4. 正是亨利的善良让我感受到了我们家庭的温暖。我会用心珍惜它的。It was Henrys kindness that made me feel the warmth from our family. I will treasure it with all my heart.学科网（北京）股份有限公司