读后续写：人和动物+我和小狗Poppy+讲义 高三英语二轮复习写作专项.docx

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1、以2020年1月浙江省高考英语（下称浙江卷）读后续写为例，探讨如何理清情感线索进行读后续写教学。浙江卷读后续写原文的主题是“人与动物”。文章以宠物狗Poppy对男孩（the teenager/boy）的“离别之伤思念之苦”为线索，讲述了宠物狗与男孩之间的情深意切的感人故事。一、读中厘清情感线索 刘勰说：“情者文之经，辞者理之纬，经正而后理成，理定而后辞扬，此立文之本源”。因此，我们在读中理清文章的“经络”即作者要表达的情。按照情感线索，我们将本文分为“离别之伤（Poppys hurt when parting with the boy）”“思念之苦（Poppys pains when livi

2、ng without the boy）”两个部分，进行剖析和解读。第一部分（1-3段）：离别之伤（ Poppys hurt when parting with the boy） 本文第一至三段，告诉我们故事发生的时间、地点、人物与事件，同时，从字里行间无不渗透故事人物的“离别之伤”。故事人物是：the teenager/boy, Poppy/his old friend, his parents。故事发生时间开学的时候。故事发生地点是大学校门口。事件是家人与宠物狗送这位男孩上大学，正在大学校门告别。故事人物的情感是：与君离别意，同是泪眼人。男孩与父母拥别，三人都强装笑脸，却偷偷地吞下泪水，掩饰

3、离别的忧伤。男孩微笑着，尽量不让忧伤流露出来（smiled, trying not to let his emotions get the better of him）。其父母却控制不住情感（not able to keep theirs under control）。一家人相互拥别，泪眼朦胧，以笑掩饰离别的复杂心情（hugged and smiled through misty eyes and then laughed）。【问题设计】针对这一部分，笔者设计了以下问题链，以理清故事人物的离别之情。（1）How many characters are there in the story? W

4、ho are they? Whats their relationship? What were they doing？（There are four characters: the teenager or the boy, his parents and his pet dogPoppy. They were saying goodbye.）（括号里斜体部分为学生的回答，未做修改。下同。）（2）When and where did the story happen?（They were saying goodbye at the gate of the boys new university

5、 before the new school year began.）（3）How did the boy and his parents feel? Were they feeling happy? How do you think the dog felt?（They felt sad. They were not feeling happy at all. They pretended to be happy in order to cover their sadness caused by the parting. The dog felt just as sad as her own

6、ers were.）（4）What details lead you to think so? What does the phrase “misty eyes” mean？（ The boy tried not to let his emotions get the better of him. His parents were not able to keep theirs under control. They hugged and smiled through misty eyes and then laughed. All these details let us think tha

7、t the boy and his parents pretended to smile or laugh in doer to cover their sadness caused by the parting. The phrase means “eyes filled with tears”.）（5）Why did the boy say goodbye to the dog first and then to his parents? What do the words the boys mother said to Poppy imply?（It implies that the h

8、ero of the story is the dogPoppy. The words his mother said to Poppy imply it was hard for Poppy to tear herself away from the boy. ）（6）What does this part mainly tell us about? Can you give the part a sub-title?（This part mainly tells us how the dog felt through her owners feelings when the boy lef

9、t for university. The sub-title might be “Poppys hurt when parting with the boy”.）【设计说明】读记叙文，教师首先要引导学生弄清楚记叙文的基本要素：时间、地点、人物和事件。第（1）（2）组中的五个问题就是针对记叙文的基本要素而设计。第（3）（4）组五个问题是为了帮助学生梳理故事人物情感线索。文章这里明写男孩与父母的离别之伤，实则暗写男孩与Poppy的离别之伤。第（5）组问题是为了引导学生明确Poppy为故事的主角，这有助于引导学生理解文章的主题和把握续写的逻辑连贯。第（6）组的两个问题引导学生归纳主旨大意。通过拟小

10、标题，既训练了学生归纳概括能力，又能帮助学生理清情感线索。这个问题链层层推进，相互支撑。弄明白了这个问题链，就弄明白了故事的时间、地点、人物、事件以及故事发生的背景，理清了故事人物的离别之情。第二部分（4-7段）：思念之苦（Poppys pains when living without the boy） 从第四段开始，文章写宠物狗Poppy回到家后对男孩的深深思念。一切景语皆情语。第四段第一句“The house seemed quiet as a tomb without the boy living there.”烘托环境：没有男孩在家，家里死气沉沉，没有生机。这一烘托为渲染Poppy对

11、男孩的思念打下伏笔。紧接着，作者描写Poppy对男孩思念的程度：无心饮食、无心玩耍、无心散步（Poppy didnt seem interested in her dinner, her favorite toy, or even in her daily walk. ）。这正是“相思病”的症状。接着作者描述男孩父母的情感They were sad, too. 实则描述Poppy的情感。作者用“too”暗示Poppy的心情也是忧伤的（sad）。第五至七段作者写如何“治疗”Poppy的“相思病”以及“治疗”的效果。【问题设计】关于这部分，我们设计了如下问题链，以理清故事人物的思念之情。（7）Ho

12、w did Poppy feel when she came into the house without the boy living? How does the writer describe Poppys feelings?（The writer describes Poppy felt sad using three details: “All that week, Poppy didnt seem interested in her dinner, her favorite toy, or even in her daily walk.”）（8）What did the parent

13、s do to cure Poppys “love sickness”? Did it work?（The parents did three things to cure her “love sickness”: offering her peanut butter, letting her sit on the sofa, and getting her a little dog. The first two didnt work at all. The third seemed to work but its hard to say.）（9）What does the sentence“

14、Her tail began wagging ever so slowly, then faster as she caught the smell”imply?（It implies that it seemed that Poppy would get rid of the pains of the lovesickness.）（10）What does the part mainly tell us about? Can you give the part a sub-title?（This part mainly tells us how Poppy felt when she liv

15、ed without the boy. The sub-title might be “Poppys pains when living without the boy”.）【设计说明】第（7）组问题是为了让学生读懂材料关于Poppy对男孩的相思情。当Poppy回到家，对男孩深深的思念，达到了患“相思病”的程度了，它茶不思，饭不吃。第（8）组问题是为了让学生了解男孩的父母如何“治疗”Poppy的“相思病”。男孩的父母想尽一切办法，比如，给它吃平常她最爱吃的花生酱，让它做平常她最喜欢坐的沙发等等，这些都无济于事。男孩父母后来给它买来一只小狗，结果怎么样呢？试卷提供的材料就突然给“剪断”了，留给考

16、试续写。所给材料的最后一句话非常关键。所以，笔者设了第（9）问，问这句话暗示什么。这句话本身体现了Poppy的情感变化：“开始的时候，尾巴摇得特别慢，后来闻到了那个味道，尾巴摇得快了。狗摇尾的动作是狗的情感表现。Poppy摇尾巴由慢到快，暗示她的情感由忧伤转为喜悦。因此，续写的第一段必须接应这一变化，否则续写就是失败的。二、写中巧接情感线索1.找到情线接头，巧妙接线续写 第七段最后一句话暗示Poppy的情感变化由忧伤转为喜悦。我们应该紧接Poppy的“喜悦”写。“喜”从何来？“喜”从“box”里的“dog”而来。根据续写第一段的首句，我们应该写盒子里的小狗给Poppy带领来了“喜悦”。考生有两

17、种续写的方案：一是续写的第一段写“买来的小狗给Poppy带来了喜悦，但未能治好她的相思病”，第二段写“男孩从大学回来与Poppy团聚，才真正治疗好她的相思病”；二是续写的第一段写“买来的小狗给Poppy治好她的相思病”，第二段写“男孩从大学回来后，看到多出一只狗，父母给他解释其缘由”。2. 根据情线走向，确定续写方案 根据阅读梳理的情感线索我们得知，第一部分写Poppy与男孩的离别之伤。第二部分写Poppy对男孩的思念之苦。由此，我们可以推断，本文的主题应该为“Poppys Deep Feelings for the Boy”。俗话说，解铃还须系铃人。Poppy的“相思病”是因男孩而起。因此，

18、只有男孩回家与她团聚，才能治好Poppy的“相思病”。所以，我们根据这一情感线索的走向，续写部分应该写Poppy与男孩“团聚之乐”。这样，整个故事就够构成了“离别之伤思念之苦团聚之乐”完美的情感线索。所以，第一个续写方案为最佳方案。 现在我们选一学生习作展示如下： Dad opened the box and a sweet little dog appeared. As soon as the dog came out of the box, Poppy went up to meet him in a hurry as if it were an old friend of hers. S

19、oon she became as cheerful as before. As the owners watched them playing happily, they felt happy, too. But when Poppy found the little dog left its mess here and there and tore the little owners treasured books, she broke away with it. She felt sad again. “What should we do?” asked Dad. “Nothing bu

20、t to wait for our son to come back from the university.” answered Mum. A few weeks later, the boy arrived home from the university. Poppy was the first to meet him. She jumped to kiss him and her tail wagged faster than ever before. He was surprised to find she was much thinner and there was one mor

21、e dog, which looked shy. He asked why and his parents told him everything. The boy hugged Poppy tight to his chest, tears welling up in his eyes.(续写词数：163。黑体加粗下划线单词为要求复现至少5个的关键词词语，本续写全部复现。)三、写后围绕情感线索赏析 上面展示的续写习作非常完美。理由如下：1. 接“情”，天衣无缝 续写与给定材料的情线发展一脉相承，按照“离别之伤思念之苦团聚之乐”的线索发展，讲述宠物狗与男孩情深意切的感人故事。 上文提到，第七段

22、最后一句，暗示了Poppy由悲转喜。该生的续写第一段前两句用了三个动词（went up, to meet, became cheerful）并且加上表示动作敏捷的关键词（as soon as，in a hurry，soon）来表达这一情感的转变。这三个关键词暗示Poppy很久没有“朋友”陪伴，现在来了一“同类朋友”自然很高兴。另外，给定材料最后一句话的“slowly, then faster”告诉我们，原作者用动作“由慢到快”的方式表示由悲转喜。续写作者也用这种方式对接给定材料，而且描写动作的“快慢速度”恰当、得体。因此，续写部分与给定材料对接做到了接“情”自然，天衣无缝。2. 写“情”，自然

23、真挚 该生续写的每一句话都围绕故事人物的情感线索展开。比如，续写第一段中的“As soon as the dog came out of the box, Poppy went up to meet him in a hurry as if it were an old friend of hers.”这句话描述Poppy盼玩伴心切。用as if从句将买来的小狗比喻成“老朋友”，这暗指Poppy心中没有忘记男孩这位“老朋友”，仍然思念着“老朋友”。“As her owners watched them playing happily, they felt happy, too. ”这句话回应了

24、给定材料中的“Her owners were sad too,”Poppy高兴，男孩父母也高兴了。“But when Poppy found the little dog left his mess here and there and tore the little owners treasured books, she broke away with him. ”这句话突出了主题“人狗情深，忠贞不渝”。 该续写的第二段，描写Poppy与男孩“团聚之乐”的情景。续写第二段的前两句描写Poppy“团聚之乐”时，用了三个动作：first to meet, jumped to kiss和tagge

25、d。这三个动作将Poppy重见男孩的喜悦生动地展现在读者的面前。“first to meet”暗示Poppy盼男孩归来盼了很久了，现在男孩终于回来，所以第一个跑去迎接他。狗跳着亲吻（jumped to kiss）主人，这是非常热爱主人的表现。给定材料也用了“tagged（摇尾巴）”但续写中的“tagged”程度不同，这次摇得比任何时候快。这暗示，Poppy比任何时候高兴。描写男孩对Poppy的“团聚之乐”时，续写也用了与给定材料相同的方式：拥抱。但这次拥抱的程度不同：这次拥抱Poppy用了“tight to his chest”以加深程度。续写还用 “tears welling up in his eyes”，这比给定材料的“misty eyes”程度强多了。续写作者用情感表达方式相同而程度不同的描写方式，将男孩对Poppy的情感，淋漓尽致地展现出来了。 读后续写，读是写的基础，是写的先决条件，写是读的自然延伸。续写与给定材料要连贯，符合逻辑，要尽力做到浑然一体。“读后续写，重在理情”，读时理清情线，写时围绕情线，是克服续写不连贯的有效方法。学科网（北京）股份有限公司