学术英语科技文写作语法与文体错误分析.ppt

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1、LOGOScientific Paper WritingScientific Paper WritingPartIAnalysisofGrammaticalandStylisticErrorsI.Comma Splice(逗号叠加)False：（1）Technologyneverexistsinvacuum,itisembodiedinproducts,processes,andpeople.（2）Stevensonsromanceareentertaining,theyarefullofexcitingadventures.Correct:(1)vacuum;itis(2)entertain

2、ing,fortheyareTips:Commacannotbeusedbetweentwocompletesentences.Ifthecontentsofthetwosentencesareconnected,wemayusesemicolon“;”Orweuselinkingwords.II.Choppy Style(文体紊乱)Sample1:Firstdraft:WehaveestablishedacommunicationsSystems(CS)PlanningTeam(1).Thisteamincludesuserrepresentativesfromeachofthe12depa

3、rtmentsintheForever-SealDivision（2）.Weholdregularmeetingstoassessstate-of-the-art-communicationsequipment(3).Wediscusshownewproductsarebeingusedbyothercompanies(4).Atthesemeetings,Theuserrepresentativesdescribetheirotherfutureneeds(5).Theyalsoworkouttheirrequirementsforthenewcommunicationnetwork（6）.

4、Correctone:We have established acommunications Systems(CS)Planning Team which includesdivision.Weholdregularmeetingsto assess state-of-the-art-communications equipment and todiscusshownewproducts.Atthesemeetings,the user representativesdescribe their other future needs andwork out their requirements

5、 for thenewcommunicationnetwork.Exercise:ElectriccarsmustbeabletomeetthesamesafetystandardsthatgasolinecarsmustmeetassetupbytheDepartmentofTransportation.Thesestandardsarederivedfromanestablishedcrashtest.Inthecrashtest,thecarispropelledagainstasolidwallat30mph.Thedataobtainedfromthecrashtestareanal

6、yzedforfuelspillage,fuelsystemintegrity,windshieldretention,andzoneintrusion.Sample2:Theproposedsystemisrequiredtoalleviatetheincreaseindemandbyusingthemicrocomputerasastand-aloneentrysystemwithallthenecessarygraphicsandsoftwarecapabilitiestoremovetheburdenof DataentryfromthepresentsystemCADDS.Analy

7、sis:Thisisalonginexplicablesentence.Topicsentence:要求拟建的系统能缓和不得不增加的信息量。Development：1.方法：去除现有系统CADDS的数据入口负担而达到要求。2.设备：把微机作为独立入口系统来 完成。这种微机具有为完成这概念所要求的所有图表以及软件能力。修改方法：Usebothlongandshortsentences Toexplainthetopicbythewayofgeneral-to-specific UsecohesivedevicestolinktworelatedsentencesCorrect one:Thepr

8、oposedsystemisrequiredtoalleviatetheincreaseindemand.ThesystemwilldothatbyremovingtheburdenofdataentryfromthepresentsystemCADDS.Thisisaccomplishedbyusingthemicrocomputerasastand-aloneentrysystem.Themicrocomputerhasallthegraphicsandsoftwarecapabilitiesrequiredtoimplementthisconcept.III.Excessive Use

9、of the Passive VoiceRulestofollow:1.Maketheaction-executorclearlyknowne.g.Nowthatthemethodhasbeenmodified,itisusedtoanalyzethechemicalheatpumpdryer.(作者修改了这个方案，将它用在化学热泵干燥器中。)（correct）Nowthatwehavemodifiedthemethod,wecanuseitto 2.Thecontentsofsentenceinpassiveshouldbeconsistentwiththefact.e.g.（1）Inind

10、ustrymetalsareoftenusedintheformofalloys.（）（2）Fromthesedataitisseenthatremotebatchprocessingcanprovidebatchprocessingatremotelocations.(远程成批程序能够把成批处理发送到较远的位置。)（）Analysisof(2):“Itisbelieved”,“itisseen”andalikeusuallymeansfactsacceptedbymostofthepeople.Noteveryonesawthedatamentionedinsentence(2)Correc

11、t:Fromthesedataitcanbeseenthatremotebatchprocessingcanprovidebatchprocessingatremotelocations.3.AvoidExcessiveuseofthepassivevoice.Excessiveuseofpassiveverbscreatesscientificwritingthatiscumbersomeandindigestibletoread.Nomorethanpassivesentencesinapaper.Withgoodmixturewithactivevoicemayretainsthenec

12、essaryclarityofmeaningandproprietyoftoneforscientificpapers.IV.Ambiguous Reference(指代含混)Whenyouusepron.ormodifier,tobesurethatthesewordscanreplacethepreviousnouns.e.g.(Firstdraft）Groundloopsassociatedwithcoaxialkukslcablesaretotallyeliminatedwithfiberopticcables.Becausetheyaredielectric,theydonotatt

13、ractlightning.Nordotheyactasantennas.Analysis:“they”usedabovemayreferto“fiberopticcables”,orto“groundloops”(Correct)Groundloopsassociatedwithcoaxialcablesaretotallyeliminatedwithfiberopticcables.Becausetheyaredielectric,fiberopticcablesdonotattractlightning.Nordotheyactasantennas.(和同轴电缆相连接的接地线圈完全被光纤

14、电缆所代替。因为光纤电缆是电介质，它不会被闪电电击，也不起天线的作用。)V.Misuse of the linking wordsErrorsoccurredusually:misuse“afterall”.e.g.Afterall,wecometotheconclusionthat use“but”and“although”inthesamesentence.Toadd“it”improperlye.g.AsitwasmentionedaboveAsitisshowninfigure12 Confusetheuseof“comparingto/with”and“comparedto”or“i

15、ncomparisonwith”.e.g.ComparingtotheresultsComparingtheselatestresultsto/withourearlierones（）Misuse“Conclusively”(有决定性的)as“inconclusion”Misuse“particularly”(adv.)as“inparticular”VI.Misleading parallelism(平行结构不平行)Usesamegrammaticalstructureforparallelism.(firstdraft)Theprincipalprocessesare:1.Coagulat

16、ingandflocculation.凝固和絮结2.Removingthesolids3.Nitrogen-removal(氨气)4.Disinfection.(Correct)Theprincipalprocessesare:1.Coagulationandflocculation.2.Removalofsolids3.removalofNitrogen(氨气)4.DisinfectionExercise:Thepurposeofthisreportistopresentevidencethatthecontractingofficeractedwithintherangeofhisauth

17、orityandhisfinalopinionwasbinding.Thisfilterhastwoimportantfunctions:torejectimpulsenoisesignalsandpassinglowfrequencycommandsignalswithoutamplitudeorphasedistortion.Exercise:TheTFCengineersandIfoundthattheselectionofHybridAnalogTransmissionusingFDM(FrequencyDivisionMultiplexer)tobehighlyreliable,im

18、provedsecurityofcommunications;completegroundisolation,freefromcross-talk,sparking,shortcircuitloading;RFI(radiofrequencyinterference),EMI(electricmagneticfield),andEMP(electricmagneticpolarization)immunity.TFC 工程师和我发现使用FDM 的混合类比传输可靠性大，大大改善通讯可靠性；与地面全部距离，没有电话干扰，火花以及短路负载等；免受无线电频率干扰，电磁场和电磁偏振的影响。Part Tw

19、o Use of Some Words and Expressions A lot of Spokenform,notusedinscientificpapers Similar:many,much,agreatdealofAbove Referstothematerialappearedoneparagraphorseveralsentencesbefore.e.g.Theaboveexplanationwillhelpanswerthisquestion.(justmentioned)e.g.We can adopt the explanationintroduced earlier to

20、 answer thisquestion.e.g.We can apply the explanationintroduced in Section 2 to answer thisquestion.AforementionedandhereinafterAncientEnglish Aforementioned algorithm algorithmdescribedabove AlternateandalternativeAlternate:轮流，交替发生Alternative 二者或多个中择一Alternatively 另做选择E.g.Youhavethealternativeofwor

21、kinghardandbeingsuccessfulorifnotworkinghardandbeingunsuccessful.Alternatively,wecanadoptthefollowingalgorithm.Apparently(1)显然的,明白的,清晰可见的(2)表面上的,貌似(真实)的Apparently,differentfuelcelloperationtemperaturescorrespondtodifferentoptimalcycleconfigurations(最佳循环结构).Use“obviously”and“obviously”instead.Approac

22、h:Whenxincreased,thevalueofthefunctionapproachestozero.()Dr.Kasternproposedanewapproachtosolvingthisproblem.()AsfollowsAsfollowings,asthefollowings,asbelow,thefollowing,asshownbelow Aspect,areaWordy,Shouldbeomitted.e.g.IntheareaofapplicationofGeneticalgorithm(遗传法则),manyapproacheshavebeenproposed.man

23、yapplicationsofRegardingtheapplicationaspectofGeneticAlgorithm,manyapproacheshavebeenproposed.Manyapproachestoapplicationof Assumeassumeas()assumetobe()Themainsteampressureisassumedas3MPaisassumedtobe3MPa BasedonTheobjectof“on”shouldrelatedlogicallytothesubjectofthemainclauseWhenthepp.phrasecannotmo

24、difythesubject,weshoulduse“onthebasisof”,“by”,“from”,“accordingto”Analyzethefollowingsentences:(1)BasedonEq.(6),itisobtainedthat(2)Basedontheexperimentalresults,weconcludethat(3)BasedontheconventionalmethodusingLagrangemultipliers,theclosedformsolutioncanbewrittenasfollows.Correct ones:(1)FromEq.(6)

25、,itisobtainedthatEq.(6)entailsthat(2)Onthebasisoftheexperimentalresults,weconcludethat(3)AccordingtotheconventionalmethodusingLagrangemultipliers,(4)Basedontheadvanceddigitaltechnology,theNikonCoolPix995cameraprovidestheexcellentperformance.()BelongBelongusuallymeanswealthbelongings,ordividedintoone

26、category.Inscientificpaper,whenwesayoneitemshouldbeonepartofonekind,wesay“tofallintothecategoryof”or“tobeaformof”,“tobeclassifiedas”e.g.Thisproblemsisatypeofnonlinearprogrammingproblem.Case:情况，事例Followedby“inwhich”or“when”,“where”,butnot“that”e.g.Letusnowexaminethecasethatthemassflowrateofairissmall

27、erthan3kg/s.()inwhich ConclusionThecollocationofconclusion:Stateconclusion,presentconclusionMakeconclusions,giveconclusions()e.g.Finally,wemakeaconclusioninsection5.()stateThefinalsectionofthepapergivestheconclusion.()states DetailsDescribeindetail,adetaileddescriptionThedetailswillbedescribedinthen

28、extsection.ThedetailsofwillbedescribedAdetaileddescriptionofwillbegiveninthenextsection.Give:Betteruse“state”,“present”,“propose”toshow“提出，给出”e.g.Theconceptof“sequentialCombustion”developedbyABBisgiveninthispaper.ispresented/isdescribed/isstated Methodfor“methodfor/of”isbetterthan“methodtodo”Weselec

29、tedthemethodtosolvethisproblem.forsolvingthisproblem Show Dontuseshowtomean“提出”e.g.Simulation(模拟)resultsareshowninsection3ofthepaper.arepresented Cannotbeusedtointroduceequatione.g.Thetotalheatremovalratecanthenbeshownasfollows.beexpressedExercise:Try to correct the following sentences.1.Althoughthe

30、newprocesshasmanyadvantages,buttherearesomeweakpointsinit.2.Alargeamountofsamplesareusedforourexperiments.3.Thehumidifierdoesnotworkanymore.4.Basedontheresearch,wedrawtheconclusionthat 5.Therearebasicallytwotypesofnewsimulationmethod.6.Becauseofthefactthatelectricitycanchangeintootherformsofenergy,i

31、tiswidelyusedinindustry.7.Becausethatnomachineeverrunswithoutsomefriction,overcomingthatfrictionwastesenergy.8.Becauseourhomemarketwastoosmalltosupporteconomiclampproduction,sowehavehadtoexportourproductsfromourearliestdays.9.Besides,sendingthesemessageselectronicallyeliminatestheneedfor100piecesofp

32、aper.10.TheywillcallthisinstallationasHeatPumpDryer(HPD).11.Arefrigerationsystemiscomprisedoffourmaincomponents.12.Forpracticalpurpose,thewalltemperaturemaybeconsideredasaconstant.13.Figure10demonstratesthenaturalirrationalfrequenciesfortrucks.14.Akilometerequalsto1000meters.15.Firstwewillgivethegov

33、erningequationsintheCartesiancoordinates.16.Insuchcase,theresultsshouldbedifferentfromthepreviousone.Writing TechniquesI.Enumeration(列举)Functions:Tolistallthesub-itemsinonecategory.Convenienceforreaderstohaveafullandcompleteunderstandingtothecategory.Usedwhenyou:Listthesetofequipments Listfinishedan

34、dunfinisheditemsofyourprocessreport Listalladvantagesanddisadvantagesofanewproduct.Twowaystoenumerate:U Enumeratewhenyoustate.Useful Expression:Include,suchas;includefromto Containsparts;allthefromto;are,whichinclude;aremadewithSamples:1.Thedefinitionofabreakwater(挡水板)isgeneral.Itincludeseverythingf

35、romasimplepileofstonestoanorderedpileofconcreteblockstoasolidwallofcement.Logically,thesedifferentbreakwaterdesigns,utilizingdifferentmaterials,havevaryingdegreesofeffectivenessatshuntingwaveaction.2.WerecommendtheNewOrleansheatexchangerAdvantagesofthissystemare:(1)Automaticcontrol(2)Loweroperatingc

36、ost.Disadvantagesare:(1)Probablysluggingofliquidrefrigeranttocompressors(压缩机).(2)complexautomaticcontrolII.Comparison and Contrast(比较和对比)Difference:Comparisonisusedtocomparethesimilaritiesofthetwothingsinonecategory Contrastisfordifferencesbetweenthem.Commonly Used ExpressionsThepurpose:becomparedwi

37、thforthepurposeof/to,inorderto,sothat comparisonswereperformedinordertodetermine(forthepurposeofdetermining/sothatwecoulddetermine)TheObject:is(are)comparedwith(among/between)Bycomparisonwith/comparedto/IncomparisonwithTheBasis:isusedasthebasisforcomparing Comparisonswerebasedon Thebasiccriterionfor

38、comparisonisExamples:Aseriesofcomparisonswereperformedinordertodeterminethedifferencebetweenquantitativelymeasuredandpredictedtemperatures ThebestresultwasthenusedasthebasisforcomparingtheaccuraciesestimatedusingEquations1and2.III.Cause and EffectUsedinthefollowingitems:Logicalargumentation Explaint

39、hereasons Predictsomeevents ExplainaprocessCommonly Used Expressions1.Fromcausetoeffect Thisaccountsforthefactthat Itwaspartlyforthesereasonsthat cause(generate/yield/bringabout/giveriseto/resultin/leadto)Thisexplainswhy Asaconsequence/Asaresult/theconsequenceisFromeffecttocause resultfrom because/s

40、ince isattributableto(dueto/effectedby)isdeterminedby(decidedby/causedby)Asaresultof ThereasonwhywasthatIV.Induction and Deduction(归纳和演绎)Induction:fromspecifictogeneral Deduction:fromgeneraltospecificUsefulexpressions:mightresultin toconcludethat Ifthen;Accordingly;Thus Aaconsequence Thismayimplytha

41、t If(Consequently)would Theimplicationforare Plainly/Obviously/Apparently/Fromtheresults,itcanbeseenthat Researchandobservationreveal/show Thisstudyindicated(suggested)Samples:Induction:MarktwainoncesaidthatsincetheMississippiRiverhadbeenshortedbyfoldsby150milesbetweenCairo,Illinois,andNewOrleansdur

42、ingthe18thcentury,itwassafetoconcludethattheMississippiwouldcontinuetoshrink1.5milesperyearindefinitely.Therefore,in800yearsCairo,Illinois,andNewOrleans,Louisiana,wouldbecomea Singlemunicipality,withasinglecitycouncilandacommonutilitycompany.Allthisshowswhatahearteningyieldinspeculationcanbeextracte

43、dformatriflingamountofinformation.(一个微小的信息引发的思考，可能得出一个令人振奋的结论)Deduction:Ithaslongbeenknownthattherateofoxidativemetabolisminanyanimalhasaprofoundeffectonitsliving patterns.Thehighmetabolicrateofsmallanimals,givesthemsustainedpowerandactivityperunitofweight,butatthecostofrequiringconstantconsumptiono

44、ffoodandwater.Verylargeanimals,withtheirrelativelylowmetabolicrates,cansurvivewellonasporadicfoodsupply,butcangeneratelittlemetabolicenergypergramofbodyweight.Analysis:Topicpreface:所有动物的氧化新陈代谢的速度都会对其生存方式有重大的影响。Sub-preface:小动物和大动物都是动物。Conclusion：小型动物的高新陈代谢速度使得它们必须不断消耗食物和水；而大型动物的新陈代谢速度相对较慢，在食物供给零星不定的情况下也能生存得很好。The End