读后续写身残志坚----David'srun讲义-2023届高三英语二轮复习写作专项.docx

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1、读后续写原题:It was the day of the big cross-country run. Students from seven different primary schools in and around the small town were warming up and walking the route （路线）through thick evergreenforest.I looked around and finally spotted David, who was standing by himself off to the side by a fence. He

2、 was small for ten years old. His usualbig toothy smilewas absent today. 1 walked over and asked him why he wasnt with the other children. He hesitated and then said he had decided not to run.What was wrong? He hadworked so hard for this event!I quickly searched the crowd for the schooTscoachand ask

3、ed him what had happened. I was afraid that kids from other schools wouldlaugh at himhe explained uncomfortably. I gave him the choice to run or not, and let him decide.”I bit back my frustration （懊TSj ） . I knew the coach meant well - he thought he was doing the right thing. After making sure that

4、David could run if he wanted, I turned to find him coming towards me,his small body rocking from side to side as he swung his feet forward.David had a brain disease which prevented him from walking or turning like other children, but at school his classmates thought of him asa regular kid. He always

5、 participated to the best of his ability in whatever they were doing. That was why none of the children thought it unusual that David had decided to join the cross-country team.It just took him longer - thats all. Davidhad not missed a single practice, and although he always finished his runlong aft

6、er the other children, he did always finish.As a special education teacher along school, I was familiar with thechallengesDavid faced and was proud of hisstrong determination.两个段首句：We sat down next to each other, but David wouldnt look at me. .I watched as David moved up to the starting line with th

7、e other runners.在读后续写的探索学习中，留意到了“三点两线一整体”模式。“三点” 即关注文本信息和两个续写段落的段首句，“两线”即情节线和感情 线，情节线是概括故事梗概的故事情节，以动词为主贯穿文章始末； 感情线即主旨线，在文章中多以形容词的形式出现。主旨线多立足三 大主题语境，即人与自我、人与社会、人与自然。例如，2022年山 东新高考I卷讲述残疾男孩克服自身局限参加越野赛，体现人与自我 主题语境，是克服自卑实现自我成长的突破；2021年山东新高考I 卷母亲节惊喜，也是体现人与自我主题，是克服困难实现自我成长突 破的又一案例；2020年山东新高考I卷帮助邻里做爆米花脱贫，体现

8、 人与社会主题语境，是助人型续写的典型案例；当然，高考题中也不 乏脱险型的续写，比如，拍摄北极熊遇险，骑车游玩遇狼脱险等，这 些题材都是人与社会这一主题。也就是说，高考主题方向多为自我成 长或关爱社会或关爱自然。最后，“一整体”即在写作环节用丰富的描 写来丰富文章的情节，如语言描写、动作描写、心理描写、外貌描写、 环境描写等等。下面，以2022年新高考续写为例，应用“三点两线一 整体”原则分析此次习作。、“二占” 、* 八、文章多为记叙文或夹叙夹议文，因此可以引导学生先分析原文的六要 素把握故事梗概。Who: David- A ten-year-old boy with brain disea

9、se.IA special education teacherWhen: the day of the big cross-country runWhere: Around the thick ever green forestWhat: David wanted to give up the run for being afraid of being laughed at.I tried to encourage David to take the challenge.第二点和第三点是分析两段的段首句。根据第一段“We sat downnext to each other, but Davi

10、d wouldnt look at me”和第二段I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other ruimers.”可知，第一段续写内容应为:David害怕被嘲笑而犹豫不决 不敢参加比赛，“我”作为他的老师竭尽全力劝说他最终放下顾念参加 比赛。根据第二段I watched as David moved up to the starting line with the other runners.“可知，第二段应为David在比赛中遇 到的困难和他如何克服困难突破自我的。二、“两线”l.Plot Line:Para.

11、 1: encourage change his mind - take part in the runPara.2: start the run- face the challenge- succeed为了丰富故事情节，在每个自然段可以设置相应的细节问题，以便学 生根据问题从小处着眼，关注细节。Para. 1: Questions1 )What did I say or do to encourage David?2)How did David react to my encouragement?3)What was his decision at last?Para.2:Questions

12、1)What difficulty did David face in the run?2)How did people react to his performance?3)What was the result of the run?主旨线是作者想要表达的中心思想，是课程标准里对于情感态度价值 观的培养要求的体现。读后续写不仅要设计好故事情节，更要有合理 的主旨线，这是一篇文章的画龙点睛之笔。以2022年新高考I卷为 例，David因为害怕别人嘲笑而退出比赛，在老师的鼓励下开始充满 信心，最后坚持到底自豪的情绪油然而生。当然，任何一个故事，都 有至少两个以上的主要人物。所以，在描述故事情节

13、和主题的时候要 兼顾主要人物和次要人物的动作和感情。因此，除了描述David的情 感变化，也要从“我”的角度的感情变化的陈述来丰富故事。以下是 David和我的情感线的变化。2 .Theme Line:1 )David: unconfident -optimistic - excited/ proud2)1: concerned confident about David - proud三、“一个整体，“三点两线”的分析把文章的思路基本上确定了，在写作环节，还需要 调动我们的知识储备库，应用各种语言描写、心理描写、动作描写、 环境描写等等使得习作更加丰盈。以下是修改后的一篇习作。We sat

14、down next to each other, but David wouldnt look at me. Depressed and in low spirits, he sat silently with his eyes staring at his shoes. I patted on his back gently and asked if he really decided not to run. He burst into tears worrying that kids would tease his awkward behavior. I took a deep breat

15、h and said, You have prepared a long time for this competition and never missed a single practice. So dont let your effort end up in vain, you can make it!”. Hearing my inspiring words, he finally made up his mind and walked towards the starting line.I watched as David moved up to the starting line

16、with the other runners. Two minutes later, the race began. I stood only to see other athletes shot like arrows, except David. Although he swung his feet with great efforts, he was still the last one to arrive. However, the instant he reached the finishing line the crowd burst into thunderous applaus

17、e. David held his hands high with the gesture of “V”. At that moment, words failed to express my feeling, but I knew his big toothy smile came back again.本习作是按照“三点两线一整体”的思路进行设计。第一自然段用了动 作描写、语言描写、心理描写陈述David如何从不自信变得信心满满 决心参加比赛的过程。在语言方面涉及到形容词作状语、分词作状语 等高级句型，为写作锦上添花。第二自然段从David竭力完成比赛和 赛场其他人对于David的态度描述David比赛的自我突破，最后一句 “his big toothy smile came back again.与原文“his smile was absent today”遥相呼应，体现高考对于主题积极向上的要求。