英语搞笑短剧剧本.pdf
《英语搞笑短剧剧本.pdf》由会员分享,可在线阅读,更多相关《英语搞笑短剧剧本.pdf(62页珍藏版)》请在淘文阁 - 分享文档赚钱的网站上搜索。
1、三打白骨精T hree T imes Beating M onster人物:T唐僧S:孙悟空E:猪八戒J:沙僧B:白骨精(何平)Bl:B变成的村姑B 2:B变成的太婆B 3:B变化成的老头T:Emitofo,do you know where w e are now?S:Bajie,map!E:(摸出,递给5)S:Look,boss(凑近 T).(T、5 一齐转向 E)T:BajielHow M any times I have told you,dont bring these pictures of beautiful girls!E:Oh,boss!Forgive m e(伸手拿回)T:
2、(缩手)III keep it for you until w e reach the westE:But T:Emitofo,nothing is lust Just is nothing!M ap?E:(递)H e r e.E m w e have arrived in White T iger M ountainlAh I canrt walk on any more!(坐)M y stomach doesnt allow S o.S:Fat Pig!E:M onkey jf you dare to say these two words once again,I will,1 will
3、.S:You will whai(凶相)?E:(软禁)工 will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).S:Hm!T:(轻咳)Wukong,factually,工 a m a bit hungry Could you go to get m e some food?E:You see,boss is hungry Joo!T:Baijie!Dont forget who ate m y last meal!J:But bossjf a monster comes while brother monkey is away.T:E m.It is a problem.Wukong.d
4、o you have any idea?S:N。problem!(安装)(B已躲在一旁偷看)J:T his is.?S:Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from bosss books.S o I made this.N o monster can approach you ifyou stay in it!T:E m Wukong,you are becoming more and more scientific!Emitofo,knowledge is power!S:Bye!(走)Lets play cards!(
5、:人开始打牌)音 乐 斗地主B:Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成 Bl)Bl:(接近三人,望着)Can I join you?J:Im sorryJady.W e are playing Fighting Against landowner and three people are enough.Bl:(在,旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T:B o m b?(打出)Bl:Double King!T:Oh.I win!E m,Lady,you are a boss-hand.C ome in and teach me!(准备开电网门)
6、S:(回来,存见Bl)Oh,monster!(上前就打)Bl:(倒)A h.T:(气愤)Wukong!Look what have done!S he is m y teacher!S,.S he is a monster!T:Nonsense!(深呼吸)S:Oh,please dont T:Ifs too late!(唱)Once more.you open the door.(泰坦尼克主题曲,走音离谱)S:Please,Please,oh,no(痛苦抱头)T:(呛住,咳)Wukonglm disappointed with you!B:(真身出现)Hm!S un Wukong,Ill te
7、ach you a lesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?T:Daughter?(连忙挡住地尸体)N。,sorry!(陪笑,B 2想看后面是什么,T挡)5:(咬牙切齿)You monster,口I beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后,S打,不想打到T头,T晕,5再打死B2)E&J:Are you Ok,boss?(扶 T)J:Look,(伸食指)how many?T:T wo.(晕乎乎地)S un Wukong,game over!(变成 B3)B3:(看到 Bl,82 尸体)O h my daughte
8、r,my wife!W h o did it?!(哭喊)S:Ill kill you,monster!(打)T:(想阻止,未及)you,you.(险些晕,E J 扶 住)You have killed three lives!S:No,they are not human beings!T hey are created by monster!T:M onster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!S:(悲,离去)(音乐,营造 假 悲伤气氛)人鬼情未了J:boss,brother M onkey is.T:Dont mention t
9、hat guy any more!B:(出现)Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后 飘 走)T:(1$)You are.B:How foolish you are,M r T ang!(E,J 去阻斗,被击退)B:(抓住 T)III enjoy your meat and blood,hazha.5:(悄悄走到 B 后,打 B,B 星)A thousand years later.T:Wukong?E:Oh.Brother M onkey!J:Our hero is back!T:1,1 cant understand What happened?S:Boss,your I Q
10、 needs increasing!T his monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you!T:How,how did you find out?S:(沉默).M onkeys intuition(直觉)T:Wukong(S 不理 T)I admit my mistake this time(S 仍不理)m sorry(小声)S:What?T:Im sorry.S:Em?Louder,please?T:I.a m sorry.(S捂耳)(音乐响)敢问路在何方(这个放伴奏)(谢幕)孔雀东南飞Wand
11、erseveryfivemiles焦仲卿 Johnny(Jforshort)刘兰芝 Lunch(Lforshort)焦母 Johnny smother(JM forshort)刘母 Lunch smother(LM forshort)太守之子 M ayor sson(M S forshort)强盗 Burglars(ABandC)Prologue(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒J被打中,狼狈不堪)J:EverybodysaysthatI?mhenpecked.butinfact,I masstrongasatiger,(小声)whilemywifeisWuS ong.(指着上台处的门大声道)
12、工 mnotafraidofyou!(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)T hen,mafraidofwhom?M ywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbor-hood.S heisbraverthanme,smarterthantneandstrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetenderthanme.R utsheisnotlHavingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell!(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)M yG od!Whocanhelpme?(
13、T)Actl(序幕结束时J M作窃听状)J M(拄拐棍上):工can!(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Whereareyou?L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):mherelWhaf supmum?J M:rvetoldyouagainandagainthatyoushouldcallmewmymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law*1.L:OK.M ymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law,whafsup?J M:S inceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedso
14、badly.youhavebeensorude,sobrusque,solazy.L:But.J M:Neverinterruptme!LeverinterruptmelS incelmarriedyoursonJhQtterribleJohnnyJhavebeenworkinghQrdalldaylongookingandwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthousandsofpigsandducksandchickenand.J M:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrandson!L(生,气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,youwa
15、ntagrandson,don tyou?(开始解围褶)G oandaskyourson.I*mleaving!(扯下围裙,扔在J M的脸上,下)Act2(L M坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)L:M um,1mback!LAA:Youareback?Why?Whathappened?L:Iwaskickedoutbymymostbeautifulgracefulanddearestmother-in-law.L M(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):S ee!工 havealreadytoldyou!WhenyouinsistedonmarryingthatterribleJohnnyJtol
16、dyouthatheisuglystupidandpoorutyoudidnotlistentome.Lookatyourself L:But,mum.LAA:Neverinterruptme!L:Mumirmnotinterruptingyou.IjustwanttotellyouthatyouarealwaysrightOK?Andrilmarrywhomeveryouwantmeto.LM(大喜):Nicegirl!Justnow,1metthemayor ssoninthemarket.Hesaid:M IfyoudaughterHaventbeenmarriedJreallyreal
17、lywanttomQrryherlNowyouQrefreeQgainJllgoandtellhim.(下)L(惊愕):What?Themayor sson?Themostfamousplayboyintheneighbor-hood?(-,+,铲掉在地上)Whatasillything工 havedone!(下)Act3(J 睡眼惺恰上)J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Wherearemysocks?(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Heretheyare!(闻一下)ErlHowsmellylTheyarestilldirty!(突然想起)Lunchhasgone!1havetowasht
18、hemmyself.(他的肚子似乎咕贴叫了起来)0 人工 msohungrylButthere*snobreakfast!(捡起地上的围)ThisiswhatLunchalwayswears!Imisshersomuch,andherexcellentcookingskill!Nowshehasgone.Ihavetocookformymotherandmyself.JM(上):Where smybreakfast?Where?sLunch?Hasn,tshegotupyet?J:Mum/can,tyouretnember?Lunchhasgone!JM(沉吟片亥 iJ):Well1otell
19、youthetruthJohnny,asonwithoutawifeisuseless.Lunchisanicegirl.goandtakeherback!J(立正敬礼):yesmadam!Act4(J 开心地走着,忽然跳出来三个强盗)A:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!Theroadisbuiltbyme!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)B:Andlplantedonetree!(亦抬脚踩在同块石头上)C:工 fyouwanttogobythisstreet-(欲踩石头,但踩到了 A 的脚)ABdC:Giveusallyourmoney!J(搜遍了每一个口袋,掏出1角硬币Hs
20、imaoenough?(三强盗晕倒状,接着三人聚在一边商量)A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!BJfwecannotrobanymoneytodayewillhavenothingtoeattonight!CJheardthatthemQyorssonisgoingtotnarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangoandrobthewedding!A&B:Goodidea!J(惊讶):Wha1?What?Lunchisgoingtogetmarried?rt simpossible!ABAC:Why?AprettygirlQndarichma
21、n,whatagoodcouple!J:ButLunchismy wif e!Wehaventgotdivorcedyet!(突然有了主意)1 vegotanidea!youaregoingtorobthewedding,don,tyou?It llgowithyou.youtakethemoneyandltakethebride.B:Haveyougotanyexperience?JN o.B utr veg。廿his!Q脱下鞋子从里面摸出张支票,上书$1 ,0 0 0,0 0 0)Act5(转眼已到了婚礼之期.M 5意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上,J 盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)(J和三强盗跃
22、至台中)ABCA J:Heyyou!Stopandlistentous!A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!B:AndIplantedonetree.C:IfyouwanttogobythisstreetJ:Giveusallyourmoney!(L 听到J 的声音,掀起/盖头)L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J 的身边并躲到了的身后)(MS大怒,挥拳向J 打来.J 矮身一躲,M 5打中了 J 身后的L,L 晕倒)J(火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!(挥拳向 MS 冲去)(J 与 MS混战,JAA上,以拐杖击晕MS)(J 将 M S胸前的新郎标志扯下
23、戴在自己胸前)J(扶起 L,关切地问):Honey,howareyou?L(哭状):1hurtalot!J:Don tcrybaby.1*Ilgoandfetchthemedicine.(下)L(起身去追):W aitform e!(跑 b)(音乐起 CanYouCelebrate)Big words of western tour(大话西游)Chapter 1Site:The weddingCharacters:牛魔王、至尊宝、紫霞、小妖Aside:The story begins with a wedding.The Bull King is going to have a concubi
24、ne.牛:Today is my wedding.I am going to have a concubine.Ha ha ha.妖:Concubine?Dose your wife agree to it?牛:Oh!She is not lovely anymore.She s right now at the Flame Mountain.She can do nothing about it!(至尊宝从后台走入人群中)牛:Let me introduce my brother to you!My bro!Come here!This is my brother.(牛深情地转向紫霞)牛:Z
25、 ixia,listen to me.I think I,ve fallen in love with you once I know you.I want to show my sincerity.S o I requestyou to marry me in front of my bros.T his Pandora*s Box is my gift to you.I hope you would say yes.妖:I object!牛:What?妖:Z ixia has a means to test her lover.If you can pass it,I will shout
- 配套讲稿:
如PPT文件的首页显示word图标,表示该PPT已包含配套word讲稿。双击word图标可打开word文档。
- 特殊限制:
部分文档作品中含有的国旗、国徽等图片,仅作为作品整体效果示例展示,禁止商用。设计者仅对作品中独创性部分享有著作权。
- 关 键 词:
- 英语 搞笑 短剧 剧本
限制150内