TED经典演讲稿20岁光阴不再来.pdf

《TED经典演讲稿20岁光阴不再来.pdf》由会员分享，可在线阅读，更多相关《TED经典演讲稿20岁光阴不再来.pdf（12页珍藏版）》请在淘文阁 - 分享文档赚钱的网站上搜索。

1、When I was in my 20s,I saw my very first psychotherapy client.I was a Ph.D.student in clinical psychology at Berkeley.She was a 26-year-old woman named Alex.Now Alex walked into her first session wearing jeans and a big slouchy top,and she dropped onto the couch in my office and kicked off her flats

2、 and told me she was there to talk about guy problems.Now when I heard this,I was so relieved.My classmate got an arsonist for her first client.当我20岁时，我见到了我的第个需要精神疗法的病。当时我是个在伯克利学 读临床理学的Ph.D学。她是位叫Alex的26岁性。第次会时Alex穿了 仔裤以及略微不修边幅的上，进来后直接坐到我办公室中的沙发上，踢掉她的鞋，然后跟我说她是来跟我讲男性问题的。当我听到这个时，我松了。我的个同学的第个病是个纵犯。And I

3、 got a twentysomething who wanted to talk about boys.This I thought I could handle.But I didnt handle it.With the funny stories that Alex would bring to session,it was easy for me just to nod my head while we kicked the can down the road.Thirtys the new 20,Alex would say,and as far as I could tell,s

4、he was right.Work happened later,marriage happened later,kids happened later,even death happened later.Twentysomethings like Alex and I had nothing but time.所以说，我有个岁的 想跟我谈谈男。我以为我能处理好这事。但我没能办到。Alex在每次会时 都会带来好笑的故事，因此对我点点头，不断拖延出结果的时间是件常轻松的事情。Alex会说“三就是新的”，且就我知道的，她是对的。作要以后才有，结婚以后才有，孩以后才有，连死亡都是以后才有。像Alex

5、和我样是岁的除了时间外所有。TED20岁，光阴不再来题：Why 30 is not the new 20作者：Meg Jaypsychotherapy n.理疗法clientn.客户clinicaladj.诊所的sessionn.会话slouchyadj.懒散的arsonistn.纵犯twentysomething 岁的marriagen.结婚But before long,my supervisor pushed me to push Alex about her love life.I pushed back.I said,Sure,shes dating down,shes sleepi

6、ng with a knucklehead,but its not like shes going to marry the guy.And then my supervisor said,Not yet,but she might marry the next one.Besides,the best time to work on Alexs marriage is before she has one.但没过多久，我的监督就催我 开始推动Alex的爱情活。我拒绝了。我说：“没错，她现在在约会，她和个笨蛋同床，但这并不表她会和他结婚。”然后我的监督说：“现在还没，但她可能会和下个这样的结婚

7、。再说，在Alex的婚事上花费精的最好时间 就是在她结婚之前。”Thats what psychologists call an Aha!moment.That was the moment I realized,30 is not the new 20.Yes,people settle down later than they used to,but that didnt make Alexs 20s a developmental downtime.That made Alexs 20s a developmental sweet spot,and we were sitting the

8、re,blowing it.That was when I realized that this sort of benign neglect was a real problem,and it had real consequences,not just for Alex and her love life but for the careers and the families and the futures of twentysomethings everywhere.这就是理学家们所说的“原来如此！”瞬间。在那瞬间，我明了三岁并不是新的岁。没错，们以前更晚安顿下来，但这并不说明Alex

9、的岁这个时间段是她的发展低。这使Alex的岁个发展的良好时期，我们就坐在那荒废它。这时我才明这种“善意的疏忽”是个常现实的问题，且它有严重的后果，不仅是对于Alex和她的爱情活 也对于各地的岁的的 家庭与未来。There are 50 million twentysomethings in the United States right now.Were talking about 15 percent of the population,or 100 percent if you consider that no ones getting through adulthood without

10、going through their 20s first.现在美国有约5千万岁的。这概是总的15%，或者说100%如果你考虑到 没能在不经历岁这个阶段的情况下经过成期。supervisor n.监督者push back拒绝knucklehead n.蠢settle down安顿下来developmental downtime发展低sweet spot良好时期neglectv.疏于照顾adulthood n.成期Raise your hand if youre in your 20s.I really want to see some twentysomethings here.Oh,yay!

11、You are all awesome.If you work with twentysomethings,you love a twentysomething,youre losing sleep over twentysomethings,I want to see Okay.Awesome,twentysomethings really matter.如果你是岁的话举下。我常想在这看到些岁的。太好了！你们都棒极了。如果你和岁的作，如果你爱个岁的，如果你因为岁的失眠，我就想看到 好的。棒极了，岁的常重要。So,I specialize in twentysomethings because

12、 I believe that every single one of those 50 million twentysomethings deserves to know what psychologists,sociologists,neurologists and fertility specialists already know:that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest,yet most transformative,things you can do for work,for love,for your happiness,mayb

13、e even for the world.我专门研究岁的，因为我相信 这5千万个岁的中每个 都应该知道每个理学家，社会学家，神经学家以及育专家 都知道的：那就是把握你的岁这个阶段是最简单的，但又是最有影响的你能为 你的职业，爱情，幸福，甚是全世界做的事。This is not my opinion.These are the facts.We know that 80 percent of lifes most defining moments take place by age 35.That means that eight out of 10 of the decisions and e

14、xperiences and Aha!moments that make your life what it is will have happened by your mid-30s.People who are over 40,dont panic.This crowd is going to be fine,I think.We这不是我的观点。这是事实。我们知道个的中的80%的最重要的时刻 发在35岁。这就意味着每10个 决定你的命会是什么样的 的经历与“原来如此！”时刻 中有8个发在三岁中旬。超过40岁的，别慌。我估计这个观众没问题。awesome adj.让惊叹的specialize

15、vi.专研究psychologist n.理学家neurologists n.神经学家fertility n.育transformative adj.有改能的We know that the first 10 years of a career has an exponential impact on how much money youre going to earn.We know that more than half of Americans are married or are living with or dating their future partner by 30.We k

16、now that the brain caps off its second and last growth spurt in your 20s as it rewires itself for adulthood,which means that whatever it is you want to change about yourself,now is the time to change it.We know that personality changes more during your 20s than at any other time in life,and we know

17、that female fertility peaks at age 28,and things get tricky after age 35.So your 20s are the time to educate yourself about your body and your options.我们知道份职业中的前10年 对于你将会挣多少钱 有常的影响。我们知道超过半的美国 30岁之前就和终伴侣结婚，同居，或者在约会。我们知道脑在你岁时 为了适应成期 达到第次也是最后次成长期的峰，这说明论你想改变你的什么，现在就是改变它的时间。我们知道相其他阶段 岁时的个性变化最，且我们也知道性的繁殖能

18、在28岁时达到峰顶，到35岁之后事情就有点难办了。因此你的岁这个时间段就是 告诉的体状况以及未来的选择的时候。So when we think about child development,we all know that the first five years are a critical period for language and attachment in the brain.Its a time when your ordinary,day-to-day life has an inordinate impact on who you will become.But what

19、we hear less about is that theres such a thing as adult development,and our 20s are that critical period of adult development.因此当我们说到童发展，我们都知道前5年是脑发展 语和爱慕的关键时期。这是个你的每活都会对你的未来 产巨影响的时间段。但是我们听到的较少的就是有个东西叫 成发展，我们的岁这个阶段 就是成发展的关键时期。partnern.搭档personality n.个性trickyadj.狡猾的critical period 关键时期attachment n.爱

20、慕But this isnt what twentysomethings are hearing.Newspapers talk about the changing timetable of adulthood.Researchers call the 20s an extended adolescence.Journalists coin silly nicknames for twentysomethings like twixters and kidults.As a culture,we have trivialized what is actually the defining d

21、ecade of adulthood.但这并不是岁的所听到的。报纸在描述成的时间表的变更，研究员把岁叫做延长的青春期。新闻记者在给岁的附加愚蠢的外号，如“中间者”和“成年童”。这是真的。作为种化，我们把实际上是成期中最重要的个年 列为不重要的东西。Leonard Bernstein said that to achieve great things,you need a plan and not quite enough time.Isnt that true?So what do you think happens when you pat a twentysomething on the

22、head and you say,You have 10 extra years to start your life?Nothing happens.You have robbed that person of his urgency and ambition,and absolutely nothing happens.伦纳德 伯恩斯坦说过如果想办成事，就需要个计划和不够的时间。这不对吗？所以说当你 拍个岁的的头然后说：“你还有额外的年才开始活”时你认为会发什么？什么也不会发。你剥夺了那个的紧迫感以及志向，但是什么都没发。And then every day,smart,interesti

23、ng twentysomethings like you or like your sons and daughters come into my office and say things like this:I know my boyfriends no good for me,but this relationship doesnt count.Im just killing time.Or they say,Everybody says as long as I get started on a career by the time Im 30,Ill be fine.然后每天就有像你

24、们的或者样 既聪明又有趣的岁的 跑到我的办公室跟我说“我知道我的男朋友对我点好处都没有，但这段感情不算数。我只是在消耗时间。”或者是“家都说只要我在30岁之前 开始我的职业就没问题。”这类的话。robv.剥夺timetable n.时间表adolescence n.春期sillyadj.愚蠢的nicknamesn.外号But then it starts to sound like this:My 20s are almost over,and I have nothing to show for myself.I had a better rsum the day after I gradu

25、ated from college.And then it starts to sound like this:Dating in my 20s was like musical chairs.Everybody was running around and having fun,but then sometime around 30 it was like the music turned off and everybody started sitting down.I didnt want to be the only one left standing up,so sometimes I

26、 think I married my husband because he was the closest chair to me at 30.但后来他们就开始讲：“我的岁快结束了，但我没什么可以展现的。我毕业那天最好写写的简历。”之后他们开始讲：“岁时的约会就像玩抢座位游戏。家跑来跑去，乐在其中，但到30岁左右乐就停掉了，家个接个开始坐下。我不想成为唯个站着的，因此有时候我觉得我和我丈夫结婚的原因 就是因为在我30岁时他是距我最近的椅。”Where are the twentysomethings here?Do not do that.Okay,now that sounds a lit

27、tle flip,but make no mistake,the stakes are very high.When a lot has been pushed to your 30s,there is enormous thirtysomething pressure to jump-start a career,pick a city,partner up,and have two or three kids in a much shorter period of time.Many of these things are incompatible,and as research is j

28、ust starting to show,simply harder and more stressful to do all at once in our 30s.这的岁的在哪？别做这种事。好吧，刚才那听起来可能有点轻浮，但是别搞错，在这筹码常。当很多事情被推到三岁再做时，在你的三岁这个阶段就有在极短的时间内 开始个职业，挑选个城市，找到个伴侣 并且个孩的巨压。这些事情中有很多是不兼容的，且就如研究开始表明，在三岁这个阶段同时完成这么多事 的压以及难度实在是太了。flipv.轻浮enormousadj.巨的incompatiblen.不相容的TED20岁，光阴不再来题：Why 30 is n

29、ot the new 20作者：Meg JayThe post-millennial midlife crisis isnt buying a red sports car.Its realizing you cant have that career you now want.Its realizing you cant have that child you now want,or you cant give your child a sibling.Too many thirtysomethings and fortysomethings look at themselves,and a

30、t me,sitting across the room,and say about their 20s,What was I doing?What was I thinking?I want to change what twentysomethings are doing and thinking.上个千年之后的中年危机 不在于能否买辆红的敞篷车。是在于发现的职业不是想要的。是在于发现你法你想要的孩，或者法给的孩个同胞。有太多太多的三岁的和四岁的 先看看，然后看看坐在房间另边的我，然后讨论他们的岁这个时间段。“我当时在做什么？我当时在想什么？”我想改变岁的 的所做与所思。Heres a s

31、tory about how that can go.Its a story about a woman named Emma.At 25,Emma came to my office because she was,in her words,having an identity crisis.She said she thought she might like to work in art or entertainment,but she hadnt decided yet,so shed spent the last few years waiting tables instead.Be

32、cause it was cheaper,she lived with a boyfriend who displayed his temper more than his ambition.我来讲个关于如何这么做的故事。这是个关于位叫Emma的性的故事。25岁时，Emma来到我的办公室 因为她，她的话来讲，正在经历个份危机。她说她认为她想从事艺术 或者娱乐，但她还没决定，所以前年她花在做服务员上了。因为较便宜，她和她那 展现脾志向更频繁的男朋友住在起。post-millennial 千禧年后midlife crisis 中年危机sibling 同胞identify n.身份tempern.脾

33、ambition n.志向And as hard as her 20s were,her early life had been even harder.She often cried in our sessions,but then would collect herself by saying,You cant pick your family,but you can pick your friends.论她的岁有多么困难，她以前的活更困难。她在会时经常哭，但会说“你法选择你的家庭，但是你能选择你的朋友。”然后平定下来。Well one day,Emma comes in and she

34、hangs her head in her lap,and she sobbed for most of the hour.Shed just bought a new address book,and shed spent the morning filling in her many contacts,but then shed been left staring at that empty blank that comes after the words In case of emergency,please call.She was nearly hysterical when she

35、 looked at me and said,Whos going to be there for me if I get in a car wreck?Whos going to take care of me if I have cancer?有天，Emma进来，把头放在膝盖上，然后哭了近个时。她刚买了个新的地址薄，然后她花了个上午填她的联系，但是她只能呆呆的看着“在紧急情况下，请拨打.这串字后的空。她近歇斯底的看着我并说：“如果我出车祸了谁会照顾我？如果我的癌症了谁会照顾我？”Now in that moment,it took everything I had not to say,I

36、 will.But what Emma needed wasnt some therapist who really,really cared.Emma needed a better life,and I knew this was her chance.I had learned too much since I first worked with Alex to just sit there while Emmas defining decade went parading by.当时，我花了很 才避免说“我会”。但Emma需要的并不是位常常关 她的治疗师。Emma需要个更好的活，且我知

37、道这是她的机会。从我在Alex上下功夫后我学到了很多，所以我不会让Emma那具有决定作的年 就这么流逝掉。hangv.悬挂sobv.哭诉contactn.联系emergencyn.紧急情况hysterical adj.歇斯底的therapist n.治疗专家paradingn.游So over the next weeks and months,I told Emma three things that every twentysomething,male or female,deserves to hear.所以在接下来的周和个中，我告诉了Emma 三个每个岁的，不论男，都应该听到东西。Fi

38、rst,I told Emma to forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital.By get identity capital,I mean do something that adds value to who you are.Do something thats an investment in who you might want to be next.I didnt know the future of Emmas career,and no one knows the future of

39、work,but I do know this:Identity capital begets identity capital.So now is the time for that cross-country job,that internship,that startup you want to try.Im not discounting twentysomething exploration here,but I am discounting exploration thats not supposed to count,which,by the way,is not explora

40、tion.Thats procrastination.I told Emma to explore work and make it count.先，我告诉Emma忘了她的份危机 然后开始积累份资本。我所说的“积累份资本”就是指 为你增加价值。做项对你接下来想是什么样的 的投资。我当时不知道Emma的职业的未来，且没知道的作的未来，但是我知道这些：份资本会招来更多的份资本。这是接受那份跨国职业，那份实习和你想试试的那个起步的时候。我不是在漠视岁的的探索，但是我在漠视毫意义的探索，且那些按道理来讲不能叫探索。那叫拖延时间。我叫Emma试验各种作且让它们算数。capitaln.资本begetvt.

41、产；招致internship n.实习startupn.启动discountv.打折n.折扣procrastinationn.拖延 Second,I told Emma that the urban tribe is overrated.Best friends are great for giving rides to the airport,but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who they know,what they know,how they think,how they spe

42、ak,and where they work.That new piece of capital,that new person to date almost always comes from outside the inner circle.New things come from what are called our weak ties,our friends of friends of friends.So yes,half of twentysomethings are un-or under-employed.But half arent,and weak ties are ho

43、w you get yourself into that group.Half of new jobs are never posted,so reaching out to your neighbors boss is how you get that unposted job.Its not cheating.Its the science of how information spreads.其次，我告诉Emma城市部落被估了。找好朋友来搭车机场很棒，但岁的若和思维式 相似的同龄聚在起，他们所知道的，他们所知道的事，他们的思维式，他们的讲话式 以及他们的作地点就会受到限制。那个新的资本，

44、那个新的可以约出去的 乎总是从内部圈之外来的。新的事物从我们所谓的微弱的联系中来，如我们的朋友的朋友的朋友。是的，概有半的岁的未就业或者未充分就业。但有半不是这样的，微弱的联系 就是把你加那个团体的式。有半的新职位不会被张贴出来，联系到你的邻居的板 就是你拿到那份未被张贴的作的法。这不是作弊。这是关于信息如何传递的科学。Last but not least,Emma believed that you cant pick your family,but you can pick your friends.Now this was true for her growing up,but as a

45、 twentysomething,soon Emma would pick her family when she partnered with someone and created a family of her own.I told Emma the time to start picking your family is now.最后，Emma相信 个不能选择家庭，但可以选择朋友。在她的成长过程中这是没错的，但作为个岁的，很快Emma就要通过 和某结伴，创造个家庭 来选择她的家庭。我告诉Emma选择家庭的时间就是现在。urban tribe城市部落huddlev.蜷缩under-emp

46、loyed未就业的neighbor n.邻居Now you may be thinking that 30 is actually a better time to settle down than 20,or even 25,and I agree with you.But grabbing whoever youre living with or sleeping with when everyone on Facebook starts walking down the aisle is not progress.The best time to work on your marriag

47、e is before you have one,and that means being as intentional with love as you are with work.Picking your family is about consciously choosing who and what you want rather than just making it work or killing time with whoever happens to be choosing you.你可能会认为30岁是个 20岁，甚是25岁更好的 安定下来的时间，且我也同意。但当你在别的开始进

48、结婚礼堂时 抓紧和你同居或睡觉的 不叫进步。在婚事上下功夫的最好时间 就是结婚之前，意思就是对待爱情就要像对待作样 富有意识。选择家庭就是有意识的选择 你想要的和物 不是单单想让事情成功或者和 选择你的那个浪费时间。So what happened to Emma?Well,we went through that address book,and she found an old roommates cousin who worked at an art museum in another state.That weak tie helped her get a job there.That

49、 job offer gave her the reason to leave that live-in boyfriend.Now,five years later,shes a special events planner for museums.Shes married to a man she mindfully chose.She loves her new career,she loves her new family,and she sent me a card that said,Now the emergency contact blanks dont seem big en

50、ough.那Emma后来怎么样了？嗯，我们翻了翻那个地址薄，然后她发现她的个室友的位亲 在另个州的个艺术博物馆作。那个微弱的联系帮她在那找到份作。那份作给她个 离开她的同居男友的理由。现在，5年过去了，她是些博物馆的特殊活动规划者。她和位她有意识地选择了的结婚了。她爱她的新职业，她爱他的新家庭，她还给我张上写着“现在紧急联系栏 似乎不够了。”的卡。settle down安顿下来grabbingv.抓住marriagen.结婚consciouslyadj.觉的kill time 浪费时间cousinn.远房亲戚mindfullyadv.谨慎地Now Emmas story made that s