读后续写主题10 温馨家庭.pptx

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1、10 温馨家庭目 录CONTENTS拓展训练：写作技能培养02主题微情节爱的和解情绪表达羞愧内疚语篇演练01My New Brother语篇巩固03A BowlPART 01语篇演练I was in my room,feeling unwilling to head to the community theatre with“my brother”Henry.He had recently been adopted by my parents and I was not in the mood for being onstage with him.“Kirstie,come here,”my

2、mom called.Following her voice,I found her outside the bathroom,holding a wet book.She gave the book a shake.“Henrys book was in the bathtub.Did you put it there?”She glared at me,something she had never done before Henry came to our home.I hadnt wet his book on purpose.Raindrops fell from my eyes.T

3、o make matters worse,she promised to buy him a new copy.My heart ached.Henry was stealing my mothers love.He was ruining my life.My New BrotherMeanwhile,Henry was nearby,absorbed in working on a complicated rope knot(绳结),something he liked to do.Why did a boy like him like doing girly work?It seemed

4、 far from manly(男子汉气概).Soon,it was time to set off to the community theatre.As Henry walked ahead of us to the car,my mom took me aside and said in a low voice,“It will be Henrys first time onstage.Be kind to him,honey.”I nodded but sighed(叹气).I hadnt always found it this difficult to be kind.But si

5、nce Henry had moved in,everything felt different.The theatre used to be a special place for my parents and me.With Henry involved,it didnt seem so special any more.My New BrotherFinally,it was our stage time.My heart beat wildly.I forgot my annoyance at Henry for a while.As we kids lined up,ready to

6、 act out our short play,I realized how loosely I had tied the drawstring on my skirt.Sure enough,my skirt began to drop.I could hear the audience laughing.Even though I was wearing shorts under my skirt,I could feel my face burst into flames.However,my hands were full.If only someone could help me o

7、ut.续写要求：1.续写词数应为150左右；2.请按如下格式在答题卡的相应位置作答。Right then,Henry sensed my embarrassment._After the performance,I found Henry and tapped him on the arm gratefully._My New Brother一、语言知识及故事梗概1.head to2.in the mood for3.on purpose4.cloud ones eyes5.line up（一）找出词块对应的中文含义并连线A.排队B.朝走去C.有心情D.有目的地，故意地E.模糊了某人的双眼一、

8、语言知识及故事梗概Henry was my new“brother”,who had been(1)_(adopt)recently by my parents.We were going to perform together but I was not in the mood for being onstage with him.I didnt wet Henrys book(2)_(deliberate)but my mom was angry with me and(3)_(comfort)Henry.I disliked Henry not only because he stole

9、 my moms love but also because he was always(4)_(absorb)in working on a rope knot,which wasnt manly.Before we went to perform at the community theatre,Mom told me to be kind to Henry.I nodded but(5)_(sigh).When I was on the stage,I realized the drawstring on my skirt was not tied well and my skirt b

10、egan to drop.What was(6)_(bad),my hands were full.I really hoped that someone could help me.（二）概括原文故事情节adopteddeliberatelycomfortedabsorbedsighedworse 二、故事解读与分析二、故事解读与分析（一）语篇表达意图（why）故事主题阅读材料，找出最能体现故事主题的两个词。celebration courage competition family understanding loyalty二、故事解读与分析（二）语篇表达内容（what）故事情节冲突：_

11、行动：_ 解决：_（1）情节结构“我”和父母收养的孩子Henry之间产生隔阂。I was in my room,feeling unwilling to head to the community theatre with“my brother”Henry.He had recently been adopted by my parents and I was not in the mood for being onstage with him.“Henrys book was in the bathtub.Did you put it there?”She glared at me,some

12、thing she had never done before Henry came to our home.Henry was stealing my mothers love.He was ruining my life.But since Henry had moved in,everything felt different.The theatre used to be a special place for my parents and me.With Henry involved,it didnt seem so special any more.二、故事解读与分析（二）语篇表达内

13、容（what）故事情节冲突：“我”和父母收养的孩子Henry之间产生隔阂。行动：_ 解决：_续写部分Henry在“我”遇到困难时帮助了“我”。“我”意识到自己之前错误的思想和行为，主动改善与Henry的关系。（1）情节结构二、故事解读与分析（二）语篇表达内容（what）故事情节（2）情节线索My New BrotherHenrys book was in the bathtub.Mom promised to buy him a new copy.Mom told me to be kind to him.I realized how loosely I had tied the drawst

14、ring on my skirt.Henry sensed my embarrassment.I thought the worst._ _ _.事件线情感线续写部分在三个事件发生时，“我”分别有怎样的情感？A.My heart ached.B.I felt embarrassed.C.I agreed but felt sad for what had changed.ACB二、故事解读与分析在续写的两个段落中，需要把握“关系变好”这一关键点并考虑“我”的思想和行为如何改变以及改变的契机。可以根据原文中出现的伏笔，推测思想或行为改变的契机，如：Meanwhile,Henry was near

15、by,absorbed in working on a complicated rope knot(绳结),something he liked to do.（二）语篇表达内容（what）故事情节（3）伏笔与呼应这个句子表明Henry在打绳结上很熟练。所以在续写第一段中，Henry是可以上台帮“我”重新打好绳结的。这件事也会成为“我们”关系变好的一个契机。分析二、故事解读与分析The theatre used to be a special place for my parents and me.With Henry involved,it didnt seem so special any

16、more._（二）语篇表达内容（what）故事情节（3）伏笔与呼应练习“我”和Henry因这次表演而和好，所以这个剧院对“我”而言又成了一个特殊的地方。结合文中出现的以下伏笔，预测续写部分可能出现的情节。二、故事解读与分析（二）语篇表达内容（what）故事人物（1）主次人物原文主要讲述了“我”和父母收养的孩子Henry之间矛盾的产生和激化。因此，“我”和Henry是主要人物。母亲在原文中调和“我们”之间的矛盾，是次要人物。分析续写段首句可知，后续情节中主要人物（会 不会）发生变化。二、故事解读与分析以下句子是对故事中主要人物“我”的描写，其中运用了哪些描写手法？体现了“我”怎样的性格特点？在续

17、写段落中可以设计什么情节来呼应这些特点？I was not in the mood for being onstage with him.My heart ached.Henry was stealing my mothers love.He was ruining my life.(Mom said,)“It will be Henrys first time onstage.Be kind to him,honey.”I nodded but sighed._（二）语篇表达内容（what）故事人物（2）人物特点心理描写、动作描写。这些情节体现了“我”虽然对Henry有抵触情绪，但本质上是个

18、乖巧懂事的孩子，在续写的第一段可以通过描写在Henry帮助“我”之后，“我”的思想变化来印证这一点。心理描写动作描写二、故事解读与分析（二）语篇表达内容（what）故事环境原文的故事环境属于（自然环境 社会环境），地点主要设置在_，续写部分可能出现的地点：_。家，社区剧场社区剧场二、故事解读与分析（三）语篇表达技巧（how）下面句子运用的修辞手法为（比喻 拟人 夸张 排比）。Raindrops fell from my eyes.二、故事解读与分析family understanding （冲突）“我”和父母收养的孩子Henry之间产生隔阂。（行动）Henry在“我”遇到困难时帮助了“我”。（

19、解决）“我”意识到自己之前错误的思想和行为，主动改善与Henry的关系。事件线：Henrys book was in the bathtub Mom promised to buy him a new copy Mom told me to be kind to him I realized how loosely I had tied the drawstring on my skirt Henry sensed my embarrassment情感线：didnt wet his book on purpose my heart ached agreed but felt sad for w

20、hat had changed very much embarrassed“我”和Henry因这次表演而和好，所以这个剧院对“我”而言又成了一个特殊的地方。比喻(Raindrops fell from my eyes.)原文环境：家，社区剧场续写环境：社区剧场主要人物：“我”和Henry次要人物：母亲“我”：对Henry有抵触情绪，但本质上是个乖巧懂事的孩子。三、续写内容构思（一）设计主干情节Henry告诉了妈妈妈妈察觉到我的窘境妈妈和老师一起帮我Henry在台下冲我做鬼脸我气得大喊大叫妈妈上台陪我表演Para.1Henry察觉到我的尴尬Henry跑上台帮我我很感动表演顺利完成Plot 1Pl

21、ot 2Plot 3Para.2表演过后，我找到Henry并表示感谢Henry表示不客气妈妈带我俩去游乐园我和Henry关系缓和我对Henry说谢谢Henry表示我们是一家人我感动地抱住HenryHenry表示不解妈妈安慰我我和Henry矛盾继续Plot 1Plot 2Plot 3三、续写内容构思 Plot 1第一段“妈妈和老师一起帮我”与第二段段首句“表演过后，我找到Henry并表示感谢”情节不太连贯；Plot 2第一段“妈妈陪我上台表演”与第二段段首句“表演过后，我找到Henry并表示感谢”情节不太连贯。（一）设计主干情节 补全续写内容之后，应该确保文章的主题和结局是积极向上的。从这一点来

22、看，Plot _的主干情节设计不合适。设计续写情节时要考虑与原文的联系，切忌脱离原文（随意转换时空），随意添加主要角色。从这一点来看，Plot _的主干情节设计不合适。设计续写情节时要考虑与两个段首句的联系，保证段落当中以及段落之间内容的连贯。从这一点来看，Plot _的主干情节设计不合适，具体体现在：_ 经过分析可知，以上对于两个续写段落主干情节的设计最合适的是Plot _。211&23三、续写内容构思（二）构思具体情节确定最合适的主干情节之后，接下来构思两段的具体情节。续写第一段：What would Henry do when he sensed my embarrassment?_ H

23、ow did I feel about what Henry had done?_ How was the performance going?_He ran to help me.I was shocked by his behavior and froze.The performance was going well.三、续写内容构思（三）构思续写段落细节续写第二段：What did I do after the performance?_ What was Henrys reaction?_ How did I react?_ How did my attitude to Henry c

24、hange?_I thanked Henry.He said he just did what family members would do.I hugged him tightly.I accepted Henry as a member of my family.四、创作与优化根据提示和要求，完成下列内容优化1.Henry ran to help me.使用副词位于句首作状语，改写优化上面句子体现Henry着急的状态。_,Henry ran to me.使用“跑”的具体动词替换句中的run，突出表现Henry跑上台时着急的状态。_,Henry _ to me.使用比喻的修辞手法，将句中的

25、Henry比作箭（arrow），突出Henry的动作之迅速。_ 使用多个动词连用的排比手法，为句加入“把裙子拉上去”、“系好绳结”的内容，推动情节发展。_HurriedlyHurriedly rushed/gallopedHurriedly,Henry rushed to help me,as quick as an arrow.Hurriedly,Henry rushed to me,pulled up my skirt and tied the drawstring with a beautiful knot.四、创作与优化根据提示和要求，完成下列内容优化2.I was shocked b

26、y his behavior and froze.使用分词结构位于句首作状语，改写优化上面句子。_,I froze.为句加入心理描写（something deep in ones mind begins to change），体现“我”内心发生了变化。_Shocked by his behaviorShocked by his behavior,I froze and felt something deep in my mind began to change.四、创作与优化根据提示和要求，完成下列内容优化3.I thanked Henry.将上面的句子改为直接引语，描写“我”对Henry表示

27、感谢。“_,”I said.使用“说”的具体动作替换句中的say，体现“我”的难为情。“_,”I _.使用无灵主语，用voice替换句中的主语I（tremble）。“_.”_.运用with复合结构，改写优化句，为“我”加入神态描写，体现“我”的难为情（face burns）。“_.”_ with _.Thank.you,HenryThank.you,HenrymurmuredMy voice trembledThank.you,HenryMy voice trembledThank.you,Henrymy face burning五、范文赏析Right then,Henry sensed my

28、 embarrassment.He rushed to me,pulled up my skirt and tied the drawstring with a beautiful knot.Shocked by what he had done,I felt something deep in my mind began to change.It seemed as if his kind deeds had melted my heart.Thinking about what I had done to him,I felt ashamed of myself.While I was l

29、ost in thought,the music took me back to reality.We edged to the stage and started our performance.It turned out a great success,and the audience broke into loud applause.分词结构作状语状语从句分词结构作状语表语从句表语从句五、范文赏析After the performance,I found Henry and tapped him on the arm gratefully.“Thank.you,Henry.”My voi

30、ce trembled with my face burning.I had to admit that,but for his timely help,I would have been extremely embarrassed.Without his knotting skill,the performance would have been quite different.“We are family,”he said,his blue eyes twinkling.Hearing his words,I was overwhelmed by a feeling of warmth s

31、o I hugged him tightly.At the same time,I realized that it was not bad to have a new person in my corner of the world and the theatre was still a special place for me.虚拟语气独立主格结构分词结构作状语宾语从句虚拟语气PART 02写作技能培养矛盾出现类型1：突发变故Dads business wasnt doing so well,and our stable life started getting shaky(不稳固的).H

32、er heart skipped a beat when she noticed that her left ring finger felt a bit lighter.He had recently been adopted by my parents.I was not in the mood for being onstage with him.Everything about moving day was a puzzle.I didnt know anything about our new building on the street.类型2：弄巧成拙I decided to m

33、ake up an excuse.Mother then told us that Mrs.Jones had just called to tell her we had been to her house and said we would clean it for a quarter.（一）主题微情节爱的和解矛盾出现类型3：不明所以I stared back,not understanding the question.Meghan was absorbed,but as I watched them,I still thought about my work.In no time,he

34、 got annoyed and stormed into our room,questioning us in glare who it was that made such a mess of his flowers.（一）主题微情节爱的和解（一）主题微情节爱的和解关系修复类型1：事件契机Then much to his astonishment,he pulled out two T-shirts,both in light pink.He rushed up to me,pulled up my skirt and tied the drawstring with a beautifu

35、l knot.After working out how they all fit together,he put his gloves on and started to delicately rebuild the bowl,filling the crack lines with special paint.类型2：物件契机As her brush moved smoothly across the paper,daisies came alive.He handed her a large box,which she carefully placed on the desk near

36、my bed.I would excitedly turn the tap on,and then brush the comb with a used toothbrush as hard as I could.（一）主题微情节爱的和解爱的表达类型1：大声说爱With his eyes twinkling,he cried out,“I love you,Mom.”“I love you,Mom,”I whispered to her with tears streaming down my cheeks.I picked up the receiver,and on the other e

37、nd of the receiver,a tiny voice said,“I love you,Daddy.”Then mom held the dress up before her and said in an approving tone,“You know what?I think it looks nice.”类型2：行胜于言We smiled and held each others hands.Our hands joined with crisscrossed fingers,and we both knew that this was a new beginning.Dee

38、ply touched,Dad held the flowers tightly yet gently,and immediately gathered us into his arms.Hugging him tightly,the mother knew that her son would taste the bitter sweetness in his chocolates.（一）主题微情节爱的和解1.听完我的话，爸爸把我抱在他的怀里。After listening to me,my father _.2.妈妈看到修复后的碗后，流下了泪水。There were _ after she

39、 saw the restored bowl.3.听了他的话，我被一种温暖的感觉所包围，所以我紧紧地拥抱了他。Hearing his words,I was overwhelmed by a feeling of warmth,so _.4.我找了一个借口试图蒙混过关，但是妈妈的眼神似乎在说她已经知道了事实。I _,trying to muddle through,but Moms eyes seemed to say she had already known the truth.练习gathered me into his armstears streaming down my mothe

40、rs faceI hugged him tightlymade up an excuse结合以上所学表达翻译句子。（二）情绪表达羞愧内疚词汇短语名词guilt,shame,disappointment,apology动词regret,apologize,disappoint,overwhelm形容词regretful,ashamed,sorry短语be ashamed of/at,feel ashamed for,hang down ones head,drop ones eyes,if only,sth.cloud ones face实用例句1.He felt regret burning

41、his heart.他感到悔恨燃烧着他的心。2.Hearing the words,he hung down his head in shame.听到这些话，他羞愧地低下了头。3.What he had done made me feel ashamed of myself.他的所作所为让我对自己感到羞愧。实用例句4.But at the same time,a sense of guilt came over me.但与此同时，一种愧疚感涌上了我的心头。5.“If only I hadnt yelled at my mom,”I thought.“要是我没有对妈妈大喊大叫就好了。”我想。6.

42、Ruled by a flood of guilt,I made an apology to the girl.一阵内疚涌上心头，我向那个女孩道了歉。7.Faced with the truth,we felt ashamed for what we had done.眼前的事实让我们对自己的所作所为感到羞愧。8.After I heard his words,regret overwhelmed me like endless tides.听了他的话，悔恨如无尽的潮水般涌向我。（二）情绪表达羞愧内疚（二）情绪表达羞愧内疚实用例句9.The guilty mother looked upset

43、,great sorrow clouding her face.内疚的母亲看起来很不安，巨大的悲伤笼罩着她的脸。10.I was almost rooted to the spot with regretful tears rolling down my cheeks.我几乎被钉在了原地，悔恨的泪水从脸颊上滚落下来。（二）情绪表达羞愧内疚句子翻译和句型转换。1.我的脸火辣辣地发烧，我不知道该从何说起。_,I didnt know where to start.(运用with复合结构)2.想到我对他所做的事，我感到羞愧极了。_,I felt so ashamed of myself.(运用非谓语

44、结构作状语)_ when I thought about what I had done to him.(运用无灵主语)3.“要是我听了爸爸的建议就好了。”小女孩低声对自己说。“_,”the little girl whispered to herself.(运用虚拟语气)4.“对不起，妈妈，请原谅我。”我低声对她说，泪水顺着脸颊流了下来。我为自己感到羞愧。“Sorry,Mom,please forgive me,”I whispered to her _,ashamed of myself.(运用with复合结构)练习With my face burningThinking about wh

45、at I had done to himGuilt overwhelmed meIf only I had taken my dads advicewith tears streaming down my cheeksPART 03语篇巩固Everything about moving day was a puzzle.I didnt know anything about our new house on a strange new street.Our old life was suddenly broken up into pieces and packed up in boxes.I

46、wondered if it would ever fit back together again.Mom introduced me to our new neighbors,the Chens.Mrs.Chen worked with Mom at the job shed just started.Mr.Chen was a famous craftsman from China.Mom said it was a fresh start,but it didnt feel that way to me.I just wanted things to go back to how the

47、y had been before.After the first day at my new school,I walked home alone.Mom had told me she had to work.I was still hoping shed meet me after the bell.I had to open the door by myself with the new key.I felt a bit hungry and went straight into the kitchen,ripping tape from the packed boxes while

48、I searched for a clean plate.My fingers slipped,and something went crashing to the ground.A Bowl“Benjamin”cried Mom from the doorway.I didnt hear her come in.“What just broke?”she asked,kneeling to pick up the pieces.In her hands,I recognized the shattered pieces.It was Grandmas bowl.“I cant believe

49、 you broke this,”she said.“Well,I cant believe we have to live here now!I cant believe I have to switch schools,and I cant believe you didnt even meet me after my first day.”I ran into my room,slamming the door behind me.The broom swept across the kitchen floor.Then I heard the click of Moms bedroom

50、 door as it closed behind her.I snuck out into the kitchen and found the fragments in the dustbin.There were so many pieces in here,but I thought that maybe I could put them back together.Turning the pieces over,I tried to match them up,but the bowl would never look the same again.“Im sorry I yelled